I don't know how I get talked into these things. I really don't.

Anyway, today we're going to discuss an oft-misused phrase: "couldn't care less."

Yeah, that's right. Couldn't.

C-O-U-L-D-N-'-T.

Not "could."

Couldn't.

See, if I say, "I could care less if that wackjob Sabretooth wants to kick my ass," that means that I do care, at least a little. If it's possible for me to care less, I have to care to some extent in the first place.

Which I don't. That guy comes after me again, I'll slice him like a Thanksgiving turkey.

I don't care at all that he has it in for me. Therefore, I couldn't possibly care any less. Get it?

Couldn't. Care. Less.

Remember it. Use it.

Class dismissed.

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