8:30 am
Back in the West Wing
It’s morning and the sun is steadily seeping through the thickly curtained windows. I still haven’t slept; I refuse to close my eyes even for the briefest moment. I see things that aren’t there; people that are long gone and dead, Carol must be messing with my head again.
I sigh and roll over on my side, facing away from the window. I missed breakfast with Adam; the poor kid must be going out of his mind wanting to know if I’m alright, but I’m not, not with all the voices constantly screaming in my head.
I was released from the medical bay under the condition that I seek the Professor as soon as possible. I guess they still think I’m asleep, that I must need it badly. And I do. I haven’t gotten a decent night’s sleep since after my mutation came crashing back down. At first I thought it was something I’d gotten from Logan but his nightmares stopped plaguing my dreams a long time ago.
I didn’t tell them what I do to silence the voices. I simply told the Professor they were things they used to do before, like Erik liked to read the same book over and over, Cody likes to watch ESPN on Saturday nights, and Logan he’s pleased once I’ve had a couple of drinks or smoked one of those damned Cuban cigars he likes. But Carol doesn’t conform, she riles them up, she tries to set them up against me.
But in all of this where is Me? How did I keep myself sane while I was gone, how did I keep them from drowning me out even after all the turmoil Carol began to cause inside my head? Simple. I indulged in as much alcohol and drugs as I could, a bar fight or two, a broken arm that hurts like a bitch in winter, running and training every morning and every time I couldn’t sleep.
You see, I realized something before I left. It had nothing to do with Jean or Logan, this was about me. No one really cared about me, no one really understood and I guess I developed a little of resentment over it. I was tired of the pity looks they gave me. Even after the whole incident at Liberty Island they still thought I was a child and I was anything but. I mentally I was older and wiser even more so than the Professor. I knew things far beyond their age, beyond their education and no one understood that. No Hank with all his medical expertise, not the Professor with all his wisdom and his mind-reading abilities. If they had they could have stopped me long before I decided to leave.
So instead of seeing the good of this place I forced myself to think it was a prison.
This place is a prison
And these people aren’t your friends
Inhaling thrills through $20 bills
And the tumblers are drained and then flooded again
And again
There’re guards at the on ramp armed to the teeth
And you may case the grounds from Cascades to Pugent sound
But you are not permitted to leave
There’s a big world out there like the one I saw on the screen
In my living room late last night,
It was almost too bright to see
And I know that it’s not a party if it happens every night
Pretending there’s glamour and candelabra
When you’re drinking by candlelight
What does it take to get a drink in this place?
What does it take, how long must I wait?
Maybe it was time I come clean, to find that peace that Jean said she couldn’t find. What was the worst that could happen?
Xavier’s Office
10:00 a.m.
I took a quick shower and tossed my hair in an intricate braid. Then I walked into the closet and threw on some dark wash jeans, a white t-shirt, a blue flannel shirt, the only pair of boots I own, and a thin pair of light blue gloves. Then I slipped out of my room and dashed for the Professor’s office. When I got there Scott let me know that he was on the phone with the Senator.
“Rogue,” the Professor greets me outside his office. I’m sitting down on the floor, leaning back against the wall as I wait for matters to be solved. I hope it’s not the Mutant Registration Act again; we had a couple of setbacks after Golden Gate with Phoenix.
“Professor,” I smile as I quickly rise from the wooden floor. “Sorry Ah took so long,” I tell him although I don’t give him an excuse. I rather not lie to his face. We both know I didn’t go back to sleep, I was too shaken up to try to sleep.
“No problem dear, please, come in. Hank will be with us shortly,” he pushes his door open inviting me inside. I force myself to smile and let myself in, as I walk to the center of the room to await further instruction I remove my gloves and wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans then quickly slip the gloves back on. Meanwhile he closes the door and walks back to his desk, where he takes a seat behind his dark oak desk.
“Did you get any rest,” he asks his voice hopeful. I shake my head and pace behind the set of the chairs positioned for guests in front of his desk.
“No,” I tell him crossing my arms under my breasts. “Ah missed breakfast with Adam,” I tell him. “Ah’m gonna make it up to him later on today, if ya don’t mind,” I add. “Maybe I could take him to the city for a nice lunch,” I lift my brows hopeful.
“I’m sure he’d like that. He did come to me with a couple of delicate issues,” the Professor frowns.
“He did,” I ask as I stop pacing for a moment.
“He pointed out that maybe you can touch each other,” the Professor mentions just as Hank walks into the office, a set of files in his hand. Gently he closes the door behind himself, shaking his head.
“Sorry for the delay, I caught Logan listening in,” he tells us.
“Why doesn’t that surprise meh,” I tell them glancing over to the Professor, he must’ve known Logan was listening in; Logan must’ve wanted to know if I’d slept or not.
“Sorry my dear,” Hank smiles sheepishly and takes a seat in one of the chairs. I mumble under my breath, cursing Logan for his lack of tact, his damn well hearing, and his fucking curiosity.
“Would you like to sit,” the Professor smiles as he extends his hand to the chair next to Hank. I shake my head, politely.
“No thank ya, Professor. Just ask away, Ah’ll try to answer each of yer questions as best as Ah can,” I tell them as I walk to the window and look out into the garden. Adam’s class is outside; the children are making snowmen, making snow angels, and tossing several snow balls at each other. Adam is leaning against a tree, hiding from the rest of the children, snowball in hand. I grin, that’s my boy.
“Rogue,” Hanks asks.
“Ah’m sorry what,” I turn to look at them and lean back against the windowsill, arms still crossed under my breasts.
“Hank wanted to know if you would agree to several tests,” the Professor answers.
“I’m hoping, dear Rogue, that we could determine whether your mutation and Adam’s cancel out,” Hank explains. I frown and tilt my head to the side.
“Ya’ll mean like the math problems? When opposite signs cancel each other out?”
“Exactly,” Hanks replies as he opens one of the files he brought in. “I’d take a small sample of your skin, run some blood works, perform a CAT scan and we’re set. I already ran these tests on Adam when he first got here, that’s how the Professor and I got the conclusion that your mutations are very similar in nature.”
“Professor,” I ask. “Ya mentioned Adam came to ya with several issues, what were the others,” I ask. The Professor shares a silent conversation with Hank and after a few brief moments he turns his attention back to me.
“You must understand he’s a child Rogue, you’re the only adult he’s opened up to. Hank and I have been trying for months…”
“And then young Rogue comes along and she achieves the impossible,” Hank adds.
“Just spit it out, what did Adam ask ya to do,” I list a brow.
“He asked the Professor to convince you to adopt him, Rogue,” Hank answers.
“Do it,” I tell them.
“Why don’t you think about it,” the Professor suggests. “I’m sure you haven’t considered all angles, Rogue,” the Professor continues but I won’t have it.
“Listen Professor,” I tell him. “If ya mean financially, Ah can do that. Ah’ve got plenty saved up under different names, and in different countries. Ah can take care of him here, Ah aint going anywhere. Ah ain’t gonna run again.”
“Rogue,” the Professor shakes his head.
“Charles, We should hear her out,” Hank suggests.
“Look Ah ain’t never gonna have children. Mah mutation isn’t somethin’ Ah can control but this, this Ah can. Ah can give him a good future, pay for a good university. Ah can be a good parent, Sir,” I insist. “An’ Ah understand him. What human is gonna accomplish that? He doesn’t gotta go through what Ah did.”
“Why don’t the two of you go into town like you suggested,” the Professor reminds me. “You could discuss it then. Becoming a parent is no easy task Rogue, you would be raising him on your own, no father figure to support you,” the Professor points out.
“Professor, Ah know Ah can do that. Mah mom thought me good. Ah can cook, ah can clean, an’ Ah can take care of mahself. Ah got the means and Ah got the will. He don’t need no father figure an’ Ah ain’t goin’ away. Ah’ve seen him,” I tell them.
“He likes it here, he feels safe here an’ leaving would be a mistake. Here he could have that father figure ya mention ‘bout. Scott is good with kids an’ so are ya two. Ah don’t needa get married.”
“She’s made a good point, Charles. They don’t have to leave,” Hank offers.
“Please Professor, Ah’ll talk to him today. Ah’ll ask him what he wants.”
“Alright, talk the young boy and let me know what he decides,” the Professor finally agrees.
“Thank ya’ll,” I tell them before I turn to leave.
“Oh and Rogue,” Hank calls after me. “See me down in Medbay early morning so we can begin those tests.”
“Sure thing, Doc,” I smile as I slip out of the room and gently close the door behind me. Leaving against the other side of the wall is Logan, both arms crossed across his chest frowning. He’s wearing a pair of jeans with oil stains in his pockets, a white t-shirt and a red flannel with his boots.
“Didn’t yer momma ever tell ya its bad manners to be listenin’ behind closed doors,” I tell him, trying to sound annoyed.
“Might of, but I don’t remember,” he answers me, no signs of moving from where he’s standing.
“Fine,” I tell him, “Then spare meh the lecture,” I tell him as I walk away heading towards the kitchen to grab a bottle of water.
“I noticed you didn’t mention me in there,” he glances at the Professor’s office as he follows close behind me.
“Oh yeah, why would Ah?”
“You really don’t think I’d let you raise a kid all on your own?” I laugh and stop to look back at Logan.
“Logan, suga’, ya leave every time ya get the chance. An’ like Ah said in there, Ah don’t need no man. Ah do alright just by mahself.”
“You said it yourself, Marie, by yourself.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Logan hesitates, choosing his words carefully, “He ain’t no doll of yours, kid. He’s flesh and the kids’ got feelings. One bad choice and you’ll mess the kid up.”
“Ya would know plenty, wouldn’t ya,” I tell him as I continue into the kitchen. “What’s it to you what Ah do? Ya don’t own meh,” I tell him sternly. “Ah’m free to do as Ah please, kid or no kid.”
“Listen Marie,” he tell me like he’s trying to make a child understand. That patronizing bastard. “I’m just trying to get you to think about it.”
“Ah don’t have to. An’ in case ya haven’t noticed, bub, Ah ain’t a kid. Ah’ll handle this,” I growl quietly.
“Yeah? What’s gonna happen when you can’t shut those damned voices in your head, huh? Who’s gonna watch the kid then?”
“It ain’t gonna happen,” I tell him through grit teeth as I open the fridge and look around for a bottle of water. “Hank and Ah are gonna werk on that,” I tell him as I take a deep breath. “Now just stop, alright. Ah ain’t gonna change mah mind.”
“Mind if I come along with ya then,” he tries a different angle.
“Fer what,” I almost shriek.
“So we can talk to the kid. See what we’re gonna do.”
“We?” There’s no we, Logan. Ah’m doin’ this,” I continue stubbornly.
“Marie will you just listen,” he lets out a frustrated growl. “I promised I’d take care of ya. An’ if ya adopt the kid he’s my problem too. I ain’t leaving you alone in this.”
“Fine,” I tell him as close the fridge door with a bump of my hip. “As long as ya understand the kids’ mine.”
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