"Ah, Rogue! There you are! You're just in time," Professor Xavier exclaimed, his greeting warm and genuine.
I started to smile back, but when I saw the mutinous, Jean Grey, asleep on a cot several feet away from me, my nerves started to jump like crazy.
Professor Xavier wheeled himself over to another cot that was parallel to the one Jean was on and waved me over to it.
I looked at the cot and asked, "P-Professor? Um... Is that cot for me?
He nodded jubilantly. "This is your cot, Rogue. I just need you to lay back while I hook the machine up to you and Jean. It should only take a few minutes."
I'm not getting anywhere near that fucking thing, I mentally protested.
The Professor fixed me with a stern look. "Now, Rogue, it hurts my feelings you don't trust me with electronics. I know Storm should be in here helping me out, but I know she'd refuse because of-" he broke off and nodded his head in Jean's direction.
"I wasn't referring to your technical skills, Professor," I admitted sheepishly. "I was talking about the other person in the room."
He raised his eyebrows in question. "You know that Jean wouldn't harm you, Rogue, don't you?"
I looked away and refused to say anything. He should know better than to ask me that. I knew Jean wouldn't hurt me- not the real Jean anyway. I may not like her, but I give her respect for keeping her inner demon at bay for this long. But now that it's starting to break loose... I'm starting to lose my resolve in her.
The Professor must've picked up on my thoughts, because I saw a look of understanding starting to creep on his face. "Very well, then. I respect your opinions. But I will assure you that she is heavily sedated. The Phoenix will not harm you during the link. Keep in mind that I will be linked to the both of you as well, acting like a firewall, if you will. Nothing bad will happen to you while I'm here, Marie, trust me."
My heart softened when the Professor used my real name, and I obliged to his request by nodding and going over to the cot to lay back. As soon as my back hit the plush material of the cot, I sighed and closed my eyes, and automatically envisioned myself in a better setting.
Almost instantly, I started to think about Professor Logan. I could feel myself smile when I saw his face in my mind. He was undoubtably perfect to me in every single way. I loved his face, his hair, his hazel eyes, and even his claws. Logan could never frighten me; there was nothing about him that I didn't want to care for and love.
The Professor- ever the observant psychic- suddenly cleared his throat. "Now, Rogue, you know you shouldn't be thinking of Professor Logan in that way."
I blushed crimson. "I-I know, Professor," I murmured. "I just can't help it. He was the only thing I knew would calm me down. I... I just had to think of him. I'm sorry,"
"Don't apologize," he said, and through his tone I sensed he was smiling. "I just hope you understand that while you are still underage, there cannot be anything between you and Logan."
I opened my eyes and saw the Professor looking at me with a sad, but truthful look on his face. I got what he was saying, but it didn't make me feel any better. I just opted for a civil approach by nodding in understanding.
He nodded back. "Now, back to business. Do you remember what you have to do?"
"Um, not exactly," I replied, slightly embarrassed that I was too scatter-brained to remember crucial instructions.
He waved his hand away nonchalantly. "Don't worry about remembering. I knew you'd forget, which is why I took the liberty of asking. I was just seeing whether you were going to be honest with me."
I smiled comfortably. "Glad I passed that test,"
He laughed. "I am as well. Okay, here's what you're going to do," he began his informative speech, "when I flip this switch right here-" he pointed to a tiny, red lever that almost resembled a light switch- "you are going to touch Jean's skin lightly, and then slowly, and I mean, slowly, turn your skin on. Your goal during this experiment is to try and capture some of the Phoenix's powers within your own, and essentially, get inside its head. Can you do that for me?"
Feeling an overwhelming sense of nervousness, I glanced over at the sleeping Jean before I said, "Are you sure she's not going to hurt me, Professor? Are you sure I'm safe?"
"I assure you that you have nothing to worry about, Rogue," he promised from behind me.
I knew he was telling the truth; I knew the Professor would never put me in harm's way. I closed my eyes, sighed, and brought my hand over to Jean's flesh. "I'm ready."
"On the count of three then?" he suggested.
I nodded.
"Okay then, here we go. One... two... three!"
I heard the flick of the switch and instantly prepared myself to get ready to use my mutation as soon as I felt the Phoenix's presence. I closed my eyes, nerves kicking into overdrive, and knew I was going to screw this up because I was so damn hyped. Chill, dude, my mind told me, no matter what the Professor says, you can at least think of Logan so you can calm down. He may not like it, but he'll appreciate why you did it. Just calm down so you don't mess this shit up.
I conjured another image in my head: Logan riding his motorcycle on a back road that was surrounded by trees and and small houses further back from the road. The look on his face was so calm, so serene, almost like the only time he was truly content was when he was out on the open road with his bike. It was starting to calm me down as well. As I pictured the love of my life smiling peacefully, I started to feel at peace with myself at the same time.
But then, I felt something.
What the hell was that?
It felt like an intruder was in my mind now- but how could that be?
Instinct told me exactly what I didn't want to know: the Phoenix was trying to get inside my head.
I lost all rationale and instantly started to panic; my mutation started to hum to life simultaneously, and I could feel the power of Jean flow through me, almost choking me.
The machine started to beep erratically, and I heard the Professor shout my name.
"Rogue!" he called. "Rogue, please- STOP! Oh, I wasn't prepared for this... I didn't see this coming..."
Didn't see what coming?! I mentally shouted at him. What didn't you see? How the hell is that even possible?! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO KNOW EVERYTHING!
My mutation wasn't letting up- and neither was the Phoenix. We were battling then, trying to see who would overcome the other. Would it try to get inside my head before I drained it of its powers? Or would I tame the beast before it killed me? I was too frightened to know, but I knew one thing was for sure: I had to do something.
"Professor!" I cried- a searing pain had just entered my head and it felt like it was ripping my brain in two. My nails started to dig into Jean's arm in defense. "Professor, I'm turning my skin fully on!"
"No, Rogue, don't do it! Please!"
Too late, I thought, and with one sudden burst of energy, I broke through his firewall and reached the Phoenix, fully draining its power.
Everything around us began to shake. I could see the lights flicker from behind my closed eyes, and I could hear the rumbling sounds of the room around us as the Phoenix threatened to blow us all into the next millennium. My energy was wearing out, but I couldn't let it beat us. Can't let you win... Can't let you win... Won't let you...
The pain came back again, and I arched my back fully as I let out a blood-curdling scream. Recognition dawned on me: it was inside my head.
I gave one last scream as I tried to use my mutation against it, but I felt myself growing weak. A lulling, deep pull from my subconscious called to me, and I knew that it was time to give up. I needed to sleep, had to sleep, a voice in my head told me, so I obliged to it's call and succumbed myself to darkness.
(after the cure)
The night was dull and quiet around me; most of the lights in the X-Mansion were turned off and it looked like nothing was going on. I barely heard any noise coming from the inside as I got closer to my home.
I knew Jean was all ready dead. Unfortunately, I knew a lot of things; ever since the Professor asked me to take part in his experiment with Jean and it somehow backfired, I was knowledgeable about anything and everything that was tied to my beloved X-Men.
John had joined the Brotherhood for real, Mystique was dead, the Professor was dead, Bobby cheated on me with Kitty Pryde, Scott was emotionally damaged, and Logan killed Jean because he had to.
And he also wasn't here...
I sighed sadly from my realization, but I continued my wandering through the X-Mansion anyway. Yeah, Logan was gone, but I could deal with it. I all ready had enough to deal with as it was. I had to deal with people talking to me about the cure, I had no one to help me with my secret now that the Professor was dead, and I had to break up with Bobby. My first day back home seemed like a huge whirly gig of fun, let me tell you.
My heightened awareness told me that Bobby was in his room. I was surprised that I didn't sense Kitty in there as well, but I preferred it that way. As much as I resented her, I didn't want her to hear what I had to say to Bobby. She'd get her piece from me soon enough- I was sure.
I finally came to Bobby's door and knocked only once. I knew he'd answer. And then, like clockwork, I heard scrambling and shuffling from the other side of the door and within seconds, it was thrown open to reveal a very handsome, very put-together, very expectant looking Ice-Man.
When he saw it was me, however, I was quick to see that there was a change in his face. I wasn't the person he wanted to see. Haha, like I didn't all ready know that?
"Hey Bobby," I said before he got a chance to say anything. "You, uh, expecting some company?"
His face instantly flamed red and he looked down at what he was wearing- I guess as a way to examine how obvious he looked. He was, after all, dressed in a black Guess polo, light-washed Banana Republic jeans, and he smelled like Dolce and Gabana. And, let me also add that his hair was done with that cheap, Axe hair-mousse. Yeah, I knew he wasn't expecting me to show up.
He looked back at me and cleared his throat. "I was, just, uh, trying these on. My parents sent me some clothes and stuff for my birthday."
I fixed him with a knowing look. "Your birthday isn't for another few months, and I know your parents, Bobby. They'd never send you something from home. They hate this place."
Knowing that he was caught in a lie, I could see how he nervously shifted his weight from foot to foot and his eyes darted wildly down the hall. So, he was expecting little Kitty to come up here, was he?
"Look, Bobby, let me just get to the point, okay?" I said without restraint. "I know what's been going on with you and Kitty, and you don't have to try and deny anything anymore." My voice and eyes turned hard and I continued with, "I saw you two together on the ice. I saw everything that happened."
"Are you serious?" he asked in a low voice. "Rogue, come on, nothing really happened. It was a mistake, okay? You know I'd never purposely hurt you!"
I shrugged. "Doesn't matter if you wanted to or not, because the bottom line is you did. And now, to make it easier for you so you don't have to hide it anymore, I'm breaking up with you."
His face lost all color. "You... you're breaking up with me?"
I nodded, and even smiled in a cocky way. "Yup. See ya around, Ice," I then flicked him the middle finger as I sauntered away, and I knew I left him with a bewildered look on his face.
Time for a shower, I thought, and a feeling of longing passed through me. A shower was much needed right now. I had dealt with too much shit today. Never mind that the cure was a total failure and I literally went through all the pain that Jean had when Logan killed her- I was just emotionally drained from the changes going on in the mutant world.
My bedroom was coming in sight, and I smiled in relief. I wanted to run to it so I could throw open the door and leap happily onto my bed, but I was distracted when I saw something out of the corner of my eye: Professor Cyclops was sitting in a chair in the lounge with his head in his hands and an open bottle of Skyy vodka in his lap.
Aw man, I thought as I examined his state of mind. Poor dude's a wreck... Maybe I should talk to him?
"Professor Summers?" I asked in a quiet voice. I knew I was playing a bit with fire here, but I felt like I had to talk to him in some attempt to cheer him up.
My assumption was proven correct when he waved me off. "Go away,"
I rolled my eyes at his pity party and did exactly the opposite. I walked over to him and sat down in the comfy chair beside him. "Professor, it's me, Rogue. I'm just seeing if you need to talk?"
He took a sip of vodka. "I don't need to talk to anyone, Rogue. What I need is to be left alone."
"And drink yourself into a self-pitying oblivion? I don't think so," I snatched the bottle out of his hands.
He looked up at me-finally- and I could tell there was a glare on his face. "Give me that bottle back," he demanded.
I shook my head. "You don't need to be drinking right now, Professor. I know you're hurting, but you're not the only one who is. Don't do this to yourself."
"Or what?" he challenged. "Are you going to try to stop me?"
I stuck my neck out in reply and said, "Watch me."
He turned away and laughed. "You have a lot of nerve, girl," he said.
I shrugged it off like it was a simple compliment. "Thanks, I know. Now, ya mind telling me what's going on in your head or what?"
"I'm so not having this conversation with you," he said in refusal. "You are way too young for me to be talking to you like this- and not only that, but I'm not too sure you'd be able to handle what any of this is about."
I shot him a fiery look. "Oh, you wanna bet?" I held up the hand that wasn't holding the vodka bottle and began ticking off my fingers with the Skyy. "Professor Xavier is dead, mutants are in huge trouble, Bobby has been cheating on me with Kitty, the cure didn't work, and Logan is nowhere to be found because he was the one who had to kill Jean at Alcatraz. Looks like I'm handling all this bullshit rather well, don't ya think?" I then took my own hearty swig of vodka, just to accentuate that he couldn't boss me around from this moment on.
He looked at me, open-mouthed. "How do you know all that? I thought you... I thought you were leaving."
"Apparently I didn't," I replied flippantly. "But I know everything because it's been all over the news for one, and also because I heard people around the mansion talking about it."
He nodded. "That'll do it."
"So, you want to tell me why you're an emo kid now, or what?"
Professor Summers ran a hand through his hair. "You should know it's about Jean," he said in a small voice.
"Oh," I murmured, my voice low with embarrassment and sudden understanding. I had almost forgotten how much he really loved her... but she threw it away because of Logan. The thought of Logan made my stomach twist uncomfortably, and I felt myself starting to resent him and Jean for all the pain they caused. Serves them both right, I thought bitterly.
The need to speak my mind was overpowering, and I knew that in some way, Professor Summers would appreciate my honesty. I looked over at him, and when he caught my eye I said, "You know, fuck them both. All that shit that they made us put up with was uncalled for. I'm so sick of Logan- if I ever see him again I'll give him a cut he can't heal from." I topped off my rant with another huge gulp of vodka.
I saw him raise an eyebrow. "You really feel that way about him?"
I nodded. "Swear on it that I do, Professor. What's the sense in loving someone whose always chasing after someone else to love? It kind of makes the whole 'relationship' thing one-sided."
He gave me a deep look, but didn't say anything.
I instantly questioned whether or not my mouth had gotten the best of me. I had a feeling I hurt his feelings. "I'm sorry," I blurted out. "I probably shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry. I have the worst mouth in the world."
Still, nothing from him.
I put the Skyy bottle down and got up from my chair. "Um, I'm... I'm really sorry," I said stupidly. "I'll just be going now."
I turned around and started walking out of the lounge, but Professor Summers called me back.
"Rogue? Please... don't go. I'm not mad about what you said."
I turned my neck to look at him. "You're not?"
He sighed. "No... I... I'm not mad."
I slowly walked back over and sat down tentatively. "So... you're not going to fry me like an egg, then?"
He shook his head and even gave a small laugh. "No, I'm not mad, and I'm not going to turn you into a breakfast meal, either. I guess I just have to start believing the truth. I'm glad you came in here to talk to me. Storm gave up as soon as she saw me take the bottle of vodka here."
I winced. "Ouch, that's a little harsh."
Yeah," he laughed again. "I thought the same thing."
"Glad I'm making you feel better, Professor," I replied with a smile.
"Do me a favor," he leaned closer and smiled, "don't call me 'professor' anymore, okay? Just call me by my name."
"You want me to call you 'Scott'?" I asked with an eyebrow raise.
He nodded. "Yeah, why not? You're not a student anymore, so it's not inappropriate. You're an X-Man now."
My chest swelled with hurt pride. I couldn't believe Professor Summ- Scott- really thought that way about me, but I was far from being part of their team. Still, I kept on my feigned cheerfulness. "I guess you're right," I said happily. "I am an X-Man now."
He smiled again. "I knew you wouldn't get the cure."
"Oh, yeah- that," I turned away from him. "I guess I just didn't want to be normal. Something told me I'd learn to control my mutation one day, so I decided I'd be patient and wait for that day to come."
He raised an eyebrow. "You really think you'll learn to touch without killing people?"
I shrugged. "Who knows?" Not like I can tell you though...
Scott looked at me and said in a sincere voice, "Well, I'm very happy for you, then."
I couldn't help but blush. "Thanks, Scott."
He nodded his chin towards the door and said, "You should probably get a move on all ready. I'm going to sit here for a little longer before I go downstairs, but don't worry- I'm okay. You helped a lot."
"Anytime," I said lightly.
We bid each other good night, and then I made my way to my room. I took the refreshing shower I so desperately craved, and then finally was able to relax in my waiting bed. The sheets were so soft and my comforter hugged me warmly, and I felt my body instantly relax to its security.