Red's Bar and Grill, Alberta

Red rinsed out his bleach rag and attacked the pool of blood on the bar. One lone barfly sat nursing a drink at the end of the bar, listening to his strange tale.

"I never seen anything like it. The dude had claws, man. Claws. Not that Marty didn't deserve it, the way he was treatin' that chick--you know how he is with women--but, fuck, Roy. Claws."

Red said he thought he would have stepped in if the claw dude hadn't. At least he'd tried to warn the claw-dude and the chick when he saw the cop come in. "You know, Lucas? Fuckin' Marty's cousin?"

Roy raised bleary eyes to Red's. "They was muties, then? Never seen one myself."

"Yeah, they were muties. What the fuck else could they be? I never saw one before, and now I seen two in one night. Shit. That chick--she looked all helpless, but she dropped Marty like a bag full of rocks with a little touch..."

Red rinsed the rag in the bleach bucket again, leaving the water a rusty pink. "And what she'd said to Lucas, about the claw-dude. Man. It'd be a cold day in hell before some pretty girl would say somethin' like that about me or you, and she didn't even know the claw-dude. They hadn't come in together or nothin'. Marty fuckin' dragged her in here like a crackerjack prize. Hell, maybe all muties know each other..."

She'd just busted out with it, Red thought, like she could see past the claw-dude's mean face and, well, claws, right into his soul and pick out the goodness.

The claw-dude pulled Marty off the girl, growling as he did it. "Why don't you pick on someone yer own size?" he'd said, setting his cigar gently in the ashtray, just like he did this kind of thing--interrupting badass big guys tryin' to slap their women around--every damn day. Of course, Marty didn't like that so much and he cold-cocked the claw-dude and pulled a knife. That's when the claws--fucking claws, man--made an appearance. He slashed at Marty, cuttin' him a little (makin' him bleed all over the bar), and turned to the girl, grabbing at her shoulder, claws still out, mumbling, "You okay, kid?"

That's when the cop showed up. It had to be Lucas on patrol tonight, didn't it--while there was no love lost between him and Marty, they were still kin. "Hey," Lucas had yelled. "Why don't you get your hands off that girl?"

Claw-dude had narrowed his eyes a little and with a little sound the claws went right back in his hands. He shrugged and let go of the girl, picking his cigar back up. Lucas walked over to the girl and told her she was okay, that he wouldn't let the guy hurt her.

Then he gets his 'concerned officer' look on his face and asked for her name... "Rogue," she said, without a trace of humor. Lucas had narrowed his eyes and said he'd bring the claw-dude in for botherin' her (it was a good thing he didn't see Marty right away, lyin' on the floor, Red thought). She said he wasn't. Lucas said she didn't know what she was talking about, that anyone with half a brain could see he was a dirty mutie who'd probably fuck her over the first chance he got.

At that, the girl drew herself up and looked Lucas in the eye. "He's a good man," she said. "He didn't pick me up and drive me to some hell hole and try to ra-- to get in my pants and h-- hit me. He saved me. He's good." Well, claw-dude just about lost his cool, then. He stared at her like she was a Martian or somethin'. Like he'd never seen anythin' like her, ever.

"Hell, Roy," Red said, breaking his reverie. "How the fuck can someone look at a guy like that and-- and look past all the crap to see the good? How the hell..."

"Red," Roy said, toying with his nearly empty glass. "You-- you're a really good guy. A saint among bartenders, man."

"Well," Red started, pouring Roy a new drink. "You can bet Lucas didn't like that one bit. He's not as open about it as Marty, but he don't like a woman to contradict him about nothin'. Hell, he keeps Laurie so meek and quiet, a fuckin' mouse has more personality than her. Shit. Can't believe she was a cheerleader and the goddamn prom queen, huh? You remember that, Roy?" Red remembered a vibrant girl so full of light she coulda been the sun, man. That was a long time ago, though.

"Yeah, I 'member," Roy said. "She use to wear those little short skirts, you could see what color her panties were if a wind blew up... You went out with her once, huh?"

"Or twice," Red said shortly. "She didn't see anythin' worthwhile in me. Guess maybe she was right. 'Course, Lucas ain't exactly the catch she thought she was getting..." He cleared his throat. "Maybe only a few people can do that-- look past the shit to find somethin' good in you..."

"Maybe only the right person can do that," Roy said, blinking.

Red looked at at Roy sharply. "You said a mouthful, Roy," he said, rinsing the bloody rag again.

"Shit, I ain't totally stupid," Roy said. "Just drunk."

"Anyway," Red continued. "Lucas didn't like her talkin' back to him too much. He started sayin' how she should come back to the office with him, how she looked like someone was probably lookin' for her, and the whole time the claw-dude couldn't take his eyes offa her. That's why he probably didn't see Marty stand up. Looked like he was gonna stab at the claw-dude when the girl yelled out. Man, those claws were back in a flash and he had Marty pinned to the wall. Lucas got out his weapon and trained it on him--I bet he would have used it, too--when the girl gets up and walks between 'em, easy as pie."

"What'd she do?"

"She stood next to Marty and said something about how it was all a misunderstandin'. She'd come in with him and she'd leave with him, too. Then... it was the weirdest thing. She took off her glove and touched Marty's cheek, all soft like. He got this real sick look on his face and just fainted dead away."

"You really think she did that? If he was bleedin'..."

"I dunno for sure, but yeah. I think she did that." Red shook his head. "After that, the claw-dude put the claws away and grabbed the girl's arm, sayin' 'we better split.' Lucas had this pale, shocked expression on his face and didn't even say one thing when they hightailed it outta here together. Damnedest thing I ever saw."

---

A cold and lonely road in Alberta

In the ice-blue twilight a camper--somewhat worse for wear--sped along the two lane highway. Inside, the passengers (as dissimilar as night is to day) sat, one sullen, the other curious.

The man was the first to break the silence. "You afraid of what that cop said?"

"No." The answer was short, but her tone was soft and gentle.

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why ain't you afraid of what he said? It's true, you know." Dirty mutie.

"I-- I know. I'm just... not."

He wrinkled his nose. "You're strange."

"You should talk."

"You can still go, if you want. You don't hafta stick around."

"I don't want to go. I'm not afraid. I-- I'm like you. Different, I mean."

He snorted, partly to cover the truth of her words. They settled back into a temporary silence.

Looking at her, he could tell she'd clean up nice. Real nice. He broke the silence again. "You ever had a man?"

A look of fear flitted across her face for the first time. "Uh... no."

"Not one? Not even a little boyfriend back home?"

"I had one, once. In high school."

"You do anythin' with him?"

"No. My, uh, it manifested before we ever..." She lowered her head, avoiding his eyes.

"Right. You love him?"

Curiosity was beginning to win out over fear. What was his agenda? "... No. I... I-- I've never... I'm not ever going to be in love. Why are you asking me this?"

"Dunno. Just makin' conversation. I think there's some jerky or somethin' there if you want."

"Thanks." She wolfed it down.

"Pretty hungry, huh?"

"Mm-hm."

"Why'd you say you were never gonna be in love? You don't look like someone who should be talkin' like that."

"I'm just not. My skin... it makes things too hard. I have to be careful all the time. All the time. Love... it's-- being in love isn't about being careful."

He nodded. "Okay."

Time to turn the tables. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"You ever been in love?"

Now he looked a little afraid. Just a little. "No. Not that I remember."

"Why not?"

"Never found anyone to love."

"Oh."

"Look, kid... I-- You said you wanted to go to Alaska?"

"Yeah."

"I could-- maybe I could take you that far."

"You would do that?"

"They got fightin' there, too."

"I'd like that."

"All right then."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah?"

"Why?"

"You, uh, you seem okay. And what you said, back there, to that cop in the bar..."

"He shouldn't have said what he said. You weren't--"

"I coulda been. I ain't a nice guy."

"But you weren't. Not then."

---

The hour just before dawn--in the back of the camper

"Hey, you awake, kid?"

"Mm-hm."

"You warm enough?"

"Yes. You're really warm. Is that part of your--"

"Yeah. I guess so."

"It's not too uncomfortable--having to be careful of my face?"

"No."

"Good."

"What you said... to the cop. 'Bout me savin' you and not bein' a bad man..."

"What about it? It's true; I meant it."

"You don't know what you're talkin' about. I am a bad man. Certainly not a man someone like you should be--"

She turned to him, careful to keep her face away from his. "Should be what? Thankful you pulled that guy off me? Grateful you're giving me a ride? Happy you're not afraid to sleep next to me even though I could kill you with a touch? You haven't been a bad man to me, and I trust my senses, not what other people tell me."

"Kid... I-- Look. I ain't a good man, at least. You-- you're here, next to me... and I ain't thinkin' good thoughts. You're gonna find that out in a minute if ya get any closer."

"Oh. Oh... that." Little blush, there.

"Yeah, that."

"I'm not a kid. I know about... that. You-- I don't think you'd-- You're not going to try to make me do anything, are you?"

"Shit. No, I ain't gonna fuckin' make you do anything. I-- You oughta just know I'm not a good guy, and you shouldn't be thinking I am."

"I do, though. I do. You-- you tell me this, and then say you're not a good man? How can you think you're not? Other guys wouldn't even--"

Damn, she smelled like she was gonna cry or somethin'.

"You don't know what you're talkin' about," he said, turning away from her and curling up.

Her voice, soft and shy, met his ears. "I could, you know. Um, do something."

"What?"

"If you wanted. I'd be really careful of my skin. I have softer gloves in my bag."

"Kid--"

"I told you--I'm not a kid."

"Don't be in such a hurry to stop bein' a kid."

"I haven't been a kid since it-- since my skin happened. I-- I wanna do something for you. You've been really nice and I don't have anything else to give. If... If my skin is too much, um, or if you don't want to, or if it's, uh, too weird or something, that's okay."

"Uh..." Something wasn't right about this. He shouldn't be thinking like he was. He didn't answer.

She spoke after a time. "What's wrong? Did I say something wrong? I'm sorry. I'll take it back. We can just go back to sleep, okay?"

"What's your name?"

"What?"

"I don't know your name. If we're gonna be in close quarters for a while, I should know your name. Not the one you told that cop."

"Marie."

"Logan."

"It's nice to meet you, Logan."

"Likewise."

She wound her arm around his waist and curled up against his warm back. "Do you think the sun's going to come up soon?"

"I'm not scared of your skin."

"Good. That-- that makes me happy."

"You still want to get your softer gloves? If, uh, only if you want to."

"I want to."

"Okay."

---

"Did-- It was good, right?" Hm. She was kinda breathless and she smelled like she liked it, at least a little. That made him feel funny.

"Yeah. Real good. Thank you."

"Are you okay? You, um, you're shaking."

"Just-- I feel kinda strange. That was really good. Thanks. Thank you."

"You said that already."

"I know."

---

On the road in Northern British Columbia

Marie was pouring over the rumpled gas station map she'd picked up at the last fill-up. "Hey, did you know there's a Mt Logan in the Yukon?"

"Yeah."

"It says here it's the tallest mountain in Canada."

"Yeah."

"And there's a Wolverine Range in British Columbia, too."

"Yeah. You sure like that map..."

"I've always liked maps. I like to look at them and imagine going to all the places. It used to be--any place that wasn't Meridian. Now... It's just someplace new."

"You hungry? We should stop for something to eat."

"Yeah. Can we-- can we get pancakes?"

"Sure. Whatever you want."

"Pancakes. With eggs. And orange juice."

"Okay."

---

Motel room, somewhere in the Yukon

"You can have the shower first, if you want," Logan said, dropping her bag on the floor. Girls liked to shower.

"Okay. Thank you for stopping-- I really wanted a shower." Yep, thought so.

"Yeah. We can see if there's a laundromat around tomorrow, 'kay?"

She grinned wide. "Oh, yes. Yes. Clean clothes would make me happy."

"Don't take much, eh, kid?"

"I'm not a-- are you teasing me?"

"Huh?"

"You are. You're teasing me."

"Heh. Maybe."

She smiled and it was like a sunny day. "Riiiight, old man..."

---

When he came out of the shower, she was tucked under the covers, combing out her wet hair and watching the dingy little television. "What are you watchin'?"

"A movie. I used to watch it with my mom, whenever it came on tv."

"Seems a little... weird."

"Yeah. Well, it's a musical. You kind of have to just play along. It's kind of sad, for all the singing and dancing."

"What's goin' on?"

"They're falling in love, and they're going to sing about it in a minute. My favorite song."

"He don't seem too nice."

"He's not. She's going to love him anyway, but he ends up being kind of mean to her."

"She shouldn't be out there with him--alone, at night."

"Maybe she can't help it. Maybe neither one of them can help it."

"Song's kinda pretty."

"Yeah."

They watched the two singers, finally in love, in the midst of falling cherry blossoms.

"What happens to them?"

"He dies. Trying to steal money to help when she gets pregnant. But then he has to come back to earth to try and save his daughter from turning out like him--cynical and hard hearted."

"Hmph."

"We don't have to watch it... I've seen it a million times before. I think there's probably a hockey game on..."

"Okay."

---

He sat in the darkness, listening to her breath rise and fall. "You awake?"

"Yes. Do you want--"

"No--that ain't why I-- I... What's in Alaska, kid?"

"Um... Nothing special, I guess. It's just different, you know?"

"Yeah. Wh-- What are you gonna do when you get there?"

"I'm not sure. Find work, maybe. I might take a look at it and just turn around and head back south."

"You like it?"

"What? Alaska?"

"No-- the, uh, the wandering. Living on the road."

"Yeah. I guess I do." She raised her eyebrows.

"You sound surprised."

"I am... I suppose I never thought about liking it. It just sort of happened when I left home, after, uh, you know, mutating. I'd always wanted to see Alaska... I pictured getting there in my own car, though."

"I like it, too."

"Yeah."

---

Almost Alaska, not far from Mt. Logan

They had ridden in silence for the last hour. Marie couldn't take it anymore. "Are you mad? About what happened back at that truck stop?"

"No."

"You're being even more stone-faced than usual."

"Just don't feel like talkin'. Why do you always want to talk? Can't you ever be quiet for a while?"

"Yes. I don't want to, though."

"Well, you can just talk to yourself for now."

Marie grinned wickedly. "Okay," she said, and began her conversation, switching her tone and seat position as she talked back and forth.
"Gee, Marie, that trucker was sure a jerk back there.
-Yeah, Marie, he sure was. Where does he get off, saying things like that?
I don't know, Marie, he was a big old buttinsky who thought he knew what your deal with Logan was.
-But he didn't, did he, Marie?
No, he sure didn't.
-Say, Marie, what is your deal with Logan, anyway?
Well, Marie, I'm glad you asked. Logan is this guy who helped me out one night in this dive back in Alberta. He didn't have to, he just did. Then, he helped me out more by offering me a ride to Alaska. Not 'cause he had to, or 'cause he wanted something out of me, just 'cause. Then he turned out to be a really good guy, even though he acts like he isn't all the time.
-Gosh, Marie, it sounds like you like this guy, like you want him to be your friend and you want him to like you and trust you and not give you the mean old silent treatment when some dick sticks his nose where it doesn't belong.
Marie, sugar, you hit the nail on the head.
-Well, I wa--"

"I do like you." The words were almost a growl, like he was mad at himself for saying them.

"What was that, Marie?
-I don't know, Marie, it sounded like someone talking to me..."

"Kid..."

"Hmm... couldn't be, though, Marie. There aren't any kids around here."

"Sweetheart..."

"Oooh, yes. I like that one. Sounds like Bogart."

"Marie..."

"Yes, Logan?"

"You are a pain in the ass, you know?"

She laughed. "Yeah. You could love me for it, though, ya big softy."

"Huh-uh. You ain't ever gonna be in love, remember?"

"I didn't say anything about me, sugar.... Besides, you wouldn't want me to be in love with you. I'd screw it up, and you'd act all mean and silent-y."

"You couldn't screw it up if you tried. I'd be the one who screwed it up."

"Right... I'd-- If I was in love with you, I'd be all flippant and sassy instead of just saying what was on my mind." She sighed. "I'd make you mad instead of making you happy. I'd... I couldn't tell you. I'd let every chance to say it slip by, 'cause I'd be afraid of losing you as a friend, or making you mad. I-- I'd keep silent, even if it hurt inside. Then when we got to Alaska, I'd just say goodbye and not even-- I-- if I was in love with you, which it's a good thing I'm not."

"Yeah. Good thing."

"Yes."

They rode quietly for a few more minutes. He cleared his throat and spoke, not taking his eyes from the empty road. "I'd-- I wouldn't know the first thing about what to do. I-- ain't ever courted anyone, not that I know of. I'd make a big mess of things by takin' advantage of your good heart. I don't think I've ever said anything to anyone about lovin' them, so I'd probably never say it to you, if, uh, if I was in love with you."

"Which you're not." Marie kept her eyes on the road, too.

"Which I'm not."

"Good thing."

"Yeah."

They were quiet for a few minutes after that.

---

"How old are you, Logan?" Marie said, her tone suggesting a change of subject.

"What?"

"How old are you?"

"Why?"

"I don't know... I-- I don't think I've ever heard anyone use the word 'courted' that wasn't putting something on."

"It's a word." What was wrong with his choice of words?

"I know. I like it. I was just wondering. You don't have to tell me."

"I don't know."

"It's okay, you really don't have to tell me."

"No. I-- I really don't know. I-- my mutation. It's healing--I heal from everything. I've looked like this for as long as I can remember."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't-- I can't remember anything before about sixteen or seventeen years ago. The first part's fuzzy, 'cause I... I woke up in the woods. Lived there a while. Couldn't tell you how long. First thing I remember was wakin' up, tagged like some kinda-- like an animal."

"Oh..." She knew she couldn't look at him without crying, and he'd hate that. She glanced sideways at him.

"Don't. Just don't. I don't want you seein' me like-- like you pity me or anythin'."

"I won't. But... but who would do this?"

"Dunno. Government, maybe. Been lookin' for 'em a long time. 'Bout as long I've remembered that I'm human."

Her hand rose to his shoulder almost involuntarily. "Oh... I'd probably do something really stupid right now if I, um, you know. Like want to hug you and hold you--"

"Said I didn't want pity."

"It wouldn't be for pity. It'd be because I wanted to feel how strong you are, to go through that and be the man you are now. It'd be a pretty dumb thing to do, huh? I'd want to, though. If I--"

"But you don't." Eyes on the road, not looking at her.

"Right... I don't. Maybe..."

"What?"

"Maybe-- you could do that for me, right now? Um, hug me, I mean. I think I'd like that, and I'm all covered..."

"Don't matter if you are."

"I just have this awful feeling like I'm going to cry if you don't. I hate to cry."

"Don't want you to cry."

"Okay, then."

"Okay." He pulled the truck over and she jumped at him, wrapping him tight in her arms. His were steel bands around her body. They sat for a long while in silence, listening to their commingled breath and the beating of their hearts.

---

Anchorage, Alaska

"So... this is it?"

"Yep. You, uh, you stayin' or turning right back around and headin' south?"

"Um... I-- I think I might...."

"I'll start the truck."

"Yes."

---

Omineca Provincial Park, BC, near the Wolverine Range

The tent was plenty big enough for both of them, and the sleeping bags he'd bought in Alaska could zip together into one big bag. They had left the truck on the side of the road and hiked out to a lake. Marie's voice, soft and nervous, but tinged with anticipation, filled the tent. "Please be careful. I'd-- I'd die if..."

"Shhh... I'm careful. I want to."

"But-- but--"

"Marie... Let me. You'll like it."

"What if I can't--"

"I'll worry about bein' careful. Trust me."

"I do."

"Relax. I-- I'm gonna make it nice for you."

"Just... be careful, Logan. Be-- ummmm...."

"Shh."

---

Logan held Marie close to his chest, listening to her contented breathing. It was all so new; he didn't really know what had happened, only that it was good. "I think you were wrong."

Her voice was sleepy and happy. "What?"

"I think you were wrong, back then... when you said bein' in love isn't about bein' careful. I think-- I think maybe you were wrong about that."