This is painful, because it's not happily ever after and their future agony (to say nothing of their current agony) underlies the entire piece, like the warp yarn of a weaving. It's a shaky foundation for what they have and utterly sad because you get to the end and just know that they'll suffer at the end, more than they deserve. Time is unforgiving and the Fates alter their course for no one.

Joltingly real. Affecting and effective. In spite of the darkness, thank you for sharing.

Melanie

Author's Response: Hi Melanie! Nice to meet ya! I think you got it spot on. It\'s the feel I got from the song, and as soon as I heard the song, I thought of the skeletal outline of this scenario (basically, the idea was: Marie tells Logan she loves him, he says he doesn\'t love her) and the rest just kind of flowed from that. But yeah, I couldn\'t make it a purely happily ever after and I\'m glad you got that from the end -- that they\'re not going to have an easy time of it. I think, although I didn\'t necessarily mean it, part of the theme of this fic is Marie growing up.

Wow! That was awesome. And the smut was pretty good too.

I think they should have the whole morning-after deal, but she should be all, thanks for the great lay, and he should be all hurt but not showing it. And then he should go after her and she should be all, okay but we're just friends with benefits. And he should drag her kicking and screaming into love and a relationship.

What can I say, I love my angst, but it's always better with lots of smut-chasers ;-P

Just my two cents.
Melanie

Author's Response: I was thinking she should be the one real chill about it, and let him be more concerned with defining the relationship....I hope to have the next chapter up sometime today or this evening. Thanks for the suggestions!

Wow. That was actually really good. I mean, the smut was your usual great work, but the angst and the way they interacted raised to a whole new level. If this really is the first you ever wrote, I'm almost jealous enough to hate. But I like your work more.

Props, chica.
Melanie

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Imagine my little thrill when I got home from a long night at work to a lovely dedication from my friend! That's never happened to me before *blushes*

You already know how much I loved this one, so I won't repeat myself, but I'm soooooooooooo happy we got through this one, darlin', and can't wait to wade into the next one with you!

Hugs and snowflakes (but only warms ones),
M

*sniggers* You mentioned my town in your story! Hee! I like how you're linking this stuff to science, even though I've never been very good at it. I look forward to seeing where it all ends.

Hi Desy,

I know I've never reviewed and you shouldn't take that personally: I'm a really bad reader because I hardly ever review, even though I enjoy the stuff I read. I should also mention that I almost never rate things, so don't panic when I don't rate yours either :-)

Since you seem so discouraged in your Author's Note, I thought I would just let you know that I really do like your story's premise. Sometimes I find your pacing a little slow because I think you get bogged down in details and description a little.

Still, I think I would not really notice that if the story flowed better for me. I get hung up on your grammar and spelling errors, mostly because I notice *every single one* because that's what I do for my job: I'm an editor.

So I know you probably hate me right now, but I think I have some good news. Most of your issues would probably be solved by finding yourself a beta reader or two whose first language is English, because they will catch the things you miss. For example, your syntax is often backwards for English, probably because you're German or Dutch or Danish or something.

There are many people on the site who would probably be happy to help you with that, especially if it meant they got updates that much sooner :-)

I like the interactions between the couple and the other X-men, but I sometimes feel like you don't flesh that out enough from the X-men's point of view, only giving Marie and Logan's. The different reactions of the different X-men was interesting, though, especially how Jean started to meddle, where Scott just disapproved and Ororo seemed to hold off on judgment. The professor's refusal to explain what he saw in Marie and Logan's minds to make the situation easier for everyone was very like him, I thought, and Marie and Logan's refusals to elaborate to the others was also very characteristic.

This last conversation between Logan and Marie seemed unfinished, though. Maybe because we're not privy to Logan's inner thoughts during it, the way we seem to be a bit more with Marie? I always thought that Logan was a very internal character, because he says so little in words, but quite a bit through body language and his reactions to others, and you just *know* that there's a whole lot going on behind behind those hazel eyes, especially considering the Wolverine, too.

Okay, I think that's it. I hope this review helps you.

Melanie

Author's Response: Thank you very much especially for this very long review! You\'re right with your assumption, I\'m German. I\'m sorry that my mistakes pop into your eyes right away and lessen your fun at reading my story - I\'m also quite picky about those little errors in German stories (I stopped reading fanfiction in German years ago) and can understand you completely. It\'s the same with some English first language writers, who don\'t seem to know the difference in your/you\'re, there/their and even our/own?!? (this one was no typo - it went on through the entire story), those little mistakes are for me like blinking in rainbow-colors - I can\'t oversee them.
So I don\'t hate you, but I\'m glad about your open criticism. I saw on your profile page that you\'re a beta-reader. Would you help me with my story, please?
Concerning the other X-Men: I\'ll bring more inner thoughts and also action towards the couple in the next few chapters (I hope you don\'t like Jean). So thanks again!

Interestingly non-romantic, but still sweet. It worked for me, though I admit I probably would have fleshed out the second half a bit more.

The last scene certainly left me hopeful of some romance in their unwritten future :-)

Author's Response: I was just happy to get it finished, to be quite honest. That thing had literally sat on my computer in six parts for...a long time. A very long time. Plus I didn\'t want to rush them. Maybe, given my penchant for sequels and series, I\'ll do more in this \'verse some time.

Guh! Did they share the dream? Did she get to talk to St. John? Huh, huh?

Gimme, gimme, gimme more!

Author's Response: No, they didn\'t share the dream, but don\'t worry, Marie\'s about to get hot and bothered, too. ;-)