Oh, Logan. This was so very touching, Ara. With his preoccupation about touching her and trying to keep awake, worrying about her not coming again, and trying to figure out where to put his hands. Trying to figure out how little he can say.

It's his last question that makes me want to cry, though.

That's what I like about this one - its particularity, its ambiguity.

Usually, while I waited, I’d wonder what he was thinking about.

That night I didn’t have to…

And he never gave me the signal.

Because this time they don't have to speak because she knows already. And perhaps this time, he really should but doesn't. And the audience doesn't know what it's all about, but we've got a picture with the Miracle Gro lawn and the night and cigar smoke, and the fact that she's been silent there a few minutes, expecting him to know she's there but never calling herself to attention.

Sometimes life is about those moments. I get a full visual image with this fic, as beating as a painting.

Author's Response: woah! thanks, i kinda learned something about my poem just then.

Very helpless feeling to the poem. I can see where the song felt to you like an L&M song.

There's less visualization and metaphor than in your other typical poems. You seem to be going for stream-of-consciousness here. I think other poems may have been stronger in their particularity, because my favorite short poems limit themselves to a single vivid moment that is not in itself necessarily meaningful either, just revealing. Here, we've got insight without a moment. But it's a mood and a way of describing a relationship, so I think you'll develop this more and get there.

Author's Response: yep, \'stream of consciousness\', that\'s me ;) hence why it may not make a lot of sense. heh, thanks ;)

hahaha - loved Jean kissing Scott because he break the rules...in a grocery store! And what a little player he is, screwing with Logan like that. So I guess I agree with Jean - he's only fun when he's playing. *g*

And Logan getting jealous of the voice at the grocery store! Although I have to share my experiences - I've only ever heard female voices at self checkouts. Sad. Or from now on, I'd be imagining Scott.

Author's Response: i sorta changed things... it usually is a female ;)

I think the moments between M&L are the strongest in the story. You hear that expression that "He brings out the best in you". And I feel like that goes for both M&L in this story. I don't quite understand them when they're not together. I don't quite 'get' how Rogue feels that she's not betraying Bobby by being with Logan this way. How she's stiff with Bobby, confrontational, finger-pointing, and more demanding, when she's as much to blame as Bobby is for the way that relationship is not working. She sometimes seems so young to me - she is young.

But then with Logan - she's giving and loving and thoughtful. And she puts him first. And she teases him. Her sexuality is no longer so closed off - it's natural and curious and unflawed. I remember long ago, you admitted that you were blocked by the 'smut'. Was it this series? I think you've found it. It's not 'hot', necessarily. It's not really supposed to be. It's all burgeoning and slowly, slowly opening, like Rogue & Logan in this new relationship. And you get the feeling that it's that way for both of them. Fits.

I think Logan is a better person, too, when he's with Rogue. In earlier chapters, we get hints that he maybe doesn't treat everyone as nicely as he does Rogue. (heh.) That he can be a bit antisocial and dictatorial and likes to get his own way. But with her, he's quiet and patient, and I loved, in this chapter, how he was willing to submit to her. That was rather beautiful, the way he leaned back against the wall. He's gentle for her, and he'll explain himself for her. It allows her to admit her fears to him. Does she bring out the best in him, too?

But the other part of it is that he's dealing with the loss of his powers, like her. I'm surprised that isn't more of an issue for him. But maybe his current behavior is a symptom of that loss, and this is the gentle 'James Howlett' he used to be before his mutation came along. Or maybe I'm wrong? And his feelings regarding impotence and immortality are there, just overshadowed by this growing relationship with Marie.

I'm not as interested in the rest of the plot, though it seems that the Magneto/spy story continues. I think that is largely in service to this other part of the story, the M&L relationship, so I'm interested to see what sort of 'test' they will undergo. Of course...:D I could be utterly wrong about that.

Anyway, I think I'm seeing the story come together better now, and I'm getting to know your M&L better, too. Interested to see where it goes, and good luck!

Author's Response: Rogue betraying Bobby - he strayed first, and she\'s going to explain a bit of that later. Her sexuality no longer closed off - with the squelching of her mutation, she\'s allowed to relax and react to life in ways that she\'s never had before. antisocial and dictatorial? Logan? It\'s that darned \'alpha male\' thing, I guess. lol! <<< gentle \'James Howlett\' he used to be - damn, that didn\'t even occur to me, but it makes much more sense than what I was developing. I\'m sticking with your explanation. Magneto/spy story - gives Rogue a chance to shine later. OOPSIE! No plot give-aways - sorry!

Glad you picked this one up again. I find it your most compelling AU. Though these chapters do make me wonder if they'll ever really get over what happened in that lab. I keep thinking, "Ah, this is it. They've accepted it..." But then, no. Like life, I suppose. Once something like that happens, it's never really over. You're just moving on and picking yourself up.

Thought back to the first story, too. That first home that Logan built for himself, before he ever met Marie. The honey. Their little cave that they had to abandon. It's like they keep trying to build that, over and over again, but they're different people now. And that hide-out was more like some kind of symbol that Logan, all this time, even as a Destroyer, really wanted to take someone in and save them. But he's always thought of himself as obsolete, a Destroyer. He really needs someone to "Fix him", and he backs off at the last moment, believing he doesn't deserve it.

These few chapters reaffirmed for me how much W is part of Logan. I find W so thrillingly scary - he's Logan but cripplingly unemotional. But still human-sounding? Somehow? As W, he's capable of all kinds of things, but he's capable of selfless feats as well - saving Marie the child from a burning building, fighting off the guy in the forest, finding a mate, sparing the life of Mother and her Cub. And Logan is not exactly free from heinous acts; they just come from a different place. Anger and fear instead of expedience and need.

Sam is really out, I feel. What place does he have with M&L? In some ways, Marie seems to have abandoned the child for the father. And Sam is unlike anyone else. He's what the breeding program wanted out of everything all along. Makes him special and different and ultimately alone. I hope he finds where he fits in.

And Marie is at once empowered and left out. She has a power she can't harness and a past she can't shake.

All of it set against a backdrop of the war. As though the psychology of a war-torn country has been made familial and explicit.

I don't know if this series warrants it, but I hope they all find a lasting peace. Eventually.

Aw...after everything, and lulling me for two wonderful, cute chapters! I was totally diverted and didn't see this coming. Poor M&L. Ara is so mean to you sometimes.

This argument wasn't precisely linear. More like the arguments with someone you've known for a v. long time, patterns of behavior build up and a shorthand in communication is allowed. I never saw Logan as particularly whiny. Bitchy? Sometimes. Not many people have been through all he's been through, and it's tough. But I also get Marie's, "Enough already. You've had a hard life, two personalities, you're a crusty old man. Yeah, and you've had years to get used to it. Don't take it out on me, and give it a rest."

I wonder if the reason Marie really doesn't trust him actually has nothing to do with whether or not he'll hurt her or want to. More to do with his priorities. He didn't *want* to hurt her in that cell, either. The Destroyer has never wanted to hurt her, particularly. But not hurting her was not the most important thing in that moment to him - breeding was, expedience was. She was just a regrettable casualty in that situation. And that's all part of a pattern that isn't *just* W but is L, as well. He just *does* things without asking her because he thinks something else is more important, and sometimes she's scared or unready. He did it in attempt to draw out that other breeder in the woods: she was on display, made to submit, and she was bait. All without telling her. He has moved her from one place to another many times - the mold, the army. He forced Sam off and away without asking - twice. When she asked him to leave, he always stayed. He made himself helpful, but still, he ignored what she said she wanted.

He thought her safety was more important than her consent. You could argue that it is. But maybe that's what she doesn't trust in either of them.

I feel sorry for Logan that way, too. He puts a lot of pressure on himself to keep her safe, feels unworthy when he fails, and he bears that burden alone. That's why he wanted her to promise to kill him, to gain control of the blue mist. He wouldn't mind giving up some of the control to her. Maybe even part of him wants to.

I can see both sides. I'm a little cautious about reading next chapter, I admit. But I have a feeling it'll be interesting. And important.

*smiles happily* Ah, they both learned something.

And I am trying hard not to think about that other shoe.

Aw...*pets your muse*

I like smut as much as the next person (and please tell Wolvie I especially like his brand - you can even send him my way, and I'll tell him personally *g*), but as much as I like it, I like *plot*, too. Better even, and plot makes smut soooo much better.

I just don't like cliffhangers! *wails*

But alright, Ara. *feeling meek* I'll be good, promise. If you write some more. Please?!! Tryin' to be good over here.

Author's Response: *I don\'t think I can lure her to the comp long enough. Her old man got a present from her mom. Last time I saw Ara she was drooling next to something that looked like a crossbreed between circular saw and sewing machine. Come on! How the hell I\'m supposed to compete with that? Huh? When I tried to propose that I could help them out, at least cut the tapestry, she threw me out. Locked me in this tiny room with the comp, and I have been sitting in here ever since. That was like three days ago! I think her old man suspects something. He\'s been coming in here every once and a while, pretending to play solitaire on the comp for a moment while he\'s having a beer. Then he leaves and \"forgets\" the beer.* Uhh... Seriously, the cliffy was unintentional. I wasn\'t even aware that I left it open like that. More is coming, but it\'ll have to wait, probably until next monday. And you, mister... This computer belongs to my mom. Keep your hands off. I don\'t want to explain her why the log is suddenly filled with porn sites. *Porn? There\'s real porn in there as well?* Shit. I have a feeling that I\'m creating a monster.....

he felt part of it sliding in to his mouth, down to his throat, throbbing and dribbling something warm and sticky, bony legs wrapping around his head, locking in to place. EWWWWW!!! This is much grosser than watching it in Alien. I think it was the sticky dribbling, personally.

Logan seems like he still doesn't know how to tell Marie that he doesn't want their child - or *that* child, anyway. I wonder if he realizes that if he had sex with her that day, he could at least persuade himself that it was his, that it had come from him, if that's what he needed. But he's still dealing with too much at the moment: betrayal by the army, by civilization, AGAIN, a new deadly enemy, a deadly injured comrade, and Marie in the desert. So he hasn't had much time to think, and maybe he would always reject that idea anyway. Logan hasn't had many certainties in life - not even, really, Marie. They only really trusted each other recently. So I think he needs to tell her. Maybe, instead, there are things he's scared that she will tell him.

It's clear that Marie is more important than Vasquez to him - loved his outrage over Marie's being bitten. But my favorite was the way he asked to just hold her. I can understand wanting to replace the lab's touch with his.

BUT NOW, you have made him an incubator for a huge acid-for-blood, bony space/sea slug!!!! *evil cackle* Man, I guess I'll just have to hold on to my hat and wait and see for future plot developments. It's never what I expect.

Author's Response: I think he doesn\'t want children. At all. He\'s afraid that they\'d be used just like he and Marie have been used.

Sometimes it takes me a while to figure your fics out. In this case, this chapter. Now that I've got a handle on it, I'm sure you'll pull out the rug from under me. :D But I love it. If you didn't give us so much, I wouldn't find so much.

I loved the title when I had only read the first chapter. "Problem solved"? Um - hell no! I hear Logan's brand of dry humor in the line. Because his act (and Marie's) in the first chapter created it's own set of problems. Sure, her breasts didn't ache from milk, but she'd just cheated on her husband, had sex with Logan, was still missing her child. Life isn't easier, magically, just because you've solved your most pressing problem or come to some new conclusion about yourself.

That's what I love about this story. So much of the plot seems convenient - Bobby is gay, Camille is gone, Logan is available and willing to commit to Marie and adopt her son - problem solved! But that doesn't make things simple and easy for either of them. You still have to work things out - like intimacy, love, guilt, regret. And that all takes time.

“I know this isn’t the right time, but… Does this change things between us?” Marie asked. She hated to do this, but she had to know. Logan let go of her and they started walking towards the mansion.
“Doesn’t change a thing. But…” She stopped walking. There was always the ‘but’.
Exactly.
But...
"...I need to know that you and Nate are safe, but if I have a nightmare it’s safer for you if I claw that ratty couch instead of you two.” Logan's dry sense of humor, so dry and frank it almost isn't humor, saves them every time.

It's not over, and it's not easy. But it's one problem solved. :D Dig it, Ara. Thanks.

Aw...this is kind of quietly lovely, and I love the way the Rocking Horse winner is used. "even though there would be times of complete quiet… through the tension… I could still hear what went unsaid.” Because I think this fic is about quiet. It's about what Logan doesn't say, the not-quite-pointed comment at the beginning, and then his quiet expression at the end.

It's the quiet ear of friends, the understanding of someone who will support you even if their experiences have been completely different. It's also the soft melancholy on both their parts, the wish that things could be different.

This is one of my favorites.