Campfire had died out long ago. Sun was rising, and she was alone. No sign of Logan. He was gone.
She had stayed awake all night, listening and waiting for his return. Apparently he wasn’t going to come back. She stifled the sniffle and rubbed her eyes tiredly. She was unsure of what to do. She knew Logan could track her down if he decided to come back, but she had no idea of what to do next. She couldn’t just very well go and settle in to the town even if she had the money to support her. Logan wouldn’t come in there. She couldn’t stay out here alone.
It started to sink in. How much she had trusted him. How much of him she had taken for granted. How big of a difference he had made.
With Logan she had been safe most of the times. True, Logan had trusted her likewise, giving her free reign over their money and free choice of jobs they took. He had only followed her around, making sure everything went well. Now that she was alone, without his protective presence, she was an easy picking to anybody and anything.
I don’t need you anyway. Words she had shouted in anger. Now they came back taunting her. If she wanted any kind of safety and freedom in her life, she’d need him.
She made her decision when sun had crept high on the sky. She would go in to town. She would find her a place to stay. She could start making candles again. That way she could support herself, and it would give a plausible excuse for her to roam around the forest alone. She’d need herbs. She could live in town, relatively safe, and spend her days out here looking for him.
She took out the pouch where she kept all their… Her money and opened it. There was a hefty amount of silver, even more copper, and few gold coins. More than enough to secure her own house of her choosing from any town or city she liked. She pocketed the pouch and stood up, stretching her back and yawning widely.
Now that she had the chance, she felt strangely reluctant to leave these woods and return to civilization. She took her time in packing her belongings and securing them to the back of her horse. Trying to stall, to avoid the moment she had to turn her back to this campsite. Trying to buy some more time, because maybe Logan was already coming back. He would find her, but wouldn’t it be more convenient if she stayed and waited? She could sit down and eat before she got on the saddle. Maybe change her clothes. And she could leave a message for Logan, if he came back later. A note telling him where she had gone.
Except he wasn’t coming back. Nobody would read that note. She could sit here until she turned old and brittle, but he wouldn’t be coming back.
She walked to the remains of their campfire and kicked the ashes, making sure it was completely out. It had been raining often lately, but there was no telling what could happen if fire got loose in to these forests. Ground was covered with dry hay and small twigs and leaves.
“Coward. That’s what you are…” She muttered disgusted when she noted how badly her hands shook. Little over a year she had spent with Logan she had gotten so accustomed to his company, that him missing felt like she was walking around naked.
“Wasn’t this what you wanted?” She spat bitterly, grabbing the reigns of the horse and leading it to the path towards the nearby town.
As much as she longed the company of other people and comforts the town could offer, she had grown to fear them as well. Large crowds meant larger possibilities of getting caught. Few times they had had to go in with Logan, had been nightmarish. Logan had been skulking along the walls lining the streets, trying to stay out of the way of people who paid no attention to anything but themselves and their business. Cloak he wore masked him from their eyes, but were one of them stumble and brush against him, they would have immediately found out that he wasn’t exactly human.
“And why am I even thinking about it anymore?” It wasn’t like she had to worry over him anymore. He wasn’t with her. She could go in and throw herself against anybody. She was human. Inside out human. Nobody would point at her and scream. They wouldn’t be coming after her with weapons and fire. With the money she had, and good, made up past as a single child of a pastor from some small faraway village would grant her entrance and their trust, maybe even friends. She even had proof of that past, made up and gathered from different sources with Logan when they were still together. A backup plan if something went wrong and she ended up alone. Of course she hadn’t thought that she would need that plan ever. At least not because of her own stupidity and Logan’s stubbornness and pride.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Getting back on track again. Bear with me.