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Rogue stood by the door staring at Logan as he was about to leave.
“I’ll be back for this,” he tells her.
*FLASH*
“Hey, kid, did you miss me?”
Rogue shook her head and hugged his neck. “Not really.”
*FLASH*
Rogue sat down next to Logan on a bench outside the mansion.
“What’s the matter with you?”
“Bobby and I broke up today.”
*FLASH*
Rogue burst into Logan’s room unannounced and out of breath. She jumped onto his bed where he was laying making him fall off the other side.
“I can touch!”
*FLASH*
Rogue’s body going limp after their first time having sex.
“No regrets, Darlin’?”
“None.”
*FLASH*
Rogue smiled as Logan slipped the ring on her finger. They stood before Kurt and exchanged vows with only the professor as their witness.
“I do.”
“I do.”
*FLASH*
“Cyclops, get her out of here now!” Logan shouted.
Rogue reached out and tried to grab Logan by the arm before he walked away. It was difficult to do with her hands tied together. “No. If you stay, then I stay.”
“Rogue, I have to do this,” Logan pleaded with her. “Can’t you see that you’re what they want? If I *don’t* do this, they’ll get you again.”
“Rogue, we have to go,” Scott said tugging at her arms and pulling her away.
“Just wait a goddamn minute!” Rogue shouted at her team leader. She looked back at Logan and started crying. “Promise me you’ll get out in time.”
Logan visibly relaxed and gave her a piercing stare. He gathered her in his arms and gave her a heated kiss on the lips. When her mutation started to react he pulled away. “I promise.”
Rogue stared at him to make sure he wasn’t lying. She watched as Logan gave Scott a look of understanding. And that’s when she realized he was the sacrifice in the mission. Shaking her head she cried, “No…”
Logan pushed her towards Scott as she began to cling to him. “Get her out of here!” he shouted above her ramblings.
Rogue kicked and screamed as Scott wrapped his arms around her waist. He threw her over his shoulder and began to run toward a safety point. Rogue stretched out her tied up hands toward Logan and begged, “Please don’t….I wanna stay with you.”
The further they ran from him the more she screamed. She began beating Scott in the back telling him to let her down. All the sudden, there was loud boom and she saw a big firewall rushing towards them.
With a thud they both landed in a nearby ditch. Rogue scrambled to her feet as fast she could and ran toward the flames. “No! Logan!”
Scott went to stop her but, she pulled away from him. “Logan!”
“Logan!”
Tripping over a tree root, Rogue fell to the ground. Watching the building be demolished by the flames, she shouted Logan’s name over and over again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Logan!” Rogue screamed as she sat up in her bed. She was panting heavily and her clothes were soaked with sweat.
Throwing her legs out from under the covers, she scooted to the edge of the bed. She wiped the sweat off her forehead and reached for her robe on the floor. The nightmares had started two weeks ago after she’d seen Logan in Canada.
Putting on her gloves, Rogue walked down to the kitchen in search for a snack. After raiding the freezer, she made herself comfortable on a stool at the counter and indulged in a pint of Ben and Jerry’s.
“Trouble sleeping?”
Rogue jumped at the sound of Scott’s voice coming from behind her. “Jesus Christ! Why do you have to sneak up on me like that?”
Scott chuckled and grabbed a glass out the cabinet. He filled it up with water from the faucet and sat down next her. “Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough?”
Rogue nodded her head and kept eating.
“Must be bad,” he commented.
She shrugged her shoulders and stared down into her pint of ice cream. She didn’t feel like talking to anyone at the moment.
“Rogue, you know you can talk to me,” Scott told her.
“You don’t understand,” she whispered.
“Yes, I do,” Scott said. “I know it’s hard for you right now, but it will get better soon.”
Rogue still kept her head down and ignored him. She wished that Scott, along with everyone else in the mansion, would leave her be and not try to get her to talk.
“Ever since that night in Canada you’ve shut yourself off from the rest of the world,” he informed her. “That’s not good for you. The best thing…”
“I am sick and tired of everyone telling me what they think is best for me,” Rogue shouted at him. She stood up and snatched her ice cream off the bar.
Scott watched her as she shoved the carton back in the freezer and slammed the door. “We just care about you, Rogue. I know how you feel.”
“No, you don’t,” Rogue snapped. She stood there in the door with her arms crossed. “No one realizes how hard it is for me.”
“Yes, I do,” Scott snapped back. “In case you’ve forgotten, I lost my wife.”
“At least yours is dead and you can move on,” Rogue retorted bitterly. She watched Scott slump his shoulders in defeat. Regretting what she said, Rogue whispered, “I’m sorry. I…”
Scott held up his hands to stop her. “Just forget it,” he whispered.
Rogue watched as he turned and walked out of the kitchen. She knew that she should follow him and apologize, but instead she stood there and stared at the empty kitchen.
“I think we should stop watching Logan,” Rogue said. She stood before the Professor in his office. Scott was also in the room, standing by the room with his arms folded across his chest and a grim expression on his face.
“Rogue, we are only trying to do what’s best for Logan,” Charles told her. He turned his chair sideways and wheeled his way closer to her.
“I can’t deal with it anymore,” Rogue confessed. She slumped her shoulders and sat down in the chair next the Professor. She put her face in her hands and rubbed them through her hair.
“Rogue, the reason we follow him is to make sure he is doing well…”
“From what I saw last time he is doing completely fine,” Rogue snapped glaring back at him. She watched as the professor stared at her with a thin smile on his face. She hated that smile. It meant that he was reading her mind. It was almost like it gave him a natural high.
“Yes, he seems to be doing well,” the professor concluded. “When he woke up this time I had a feeling it would be different than the last time he lost his memory.” He wheeled his chair a little closer to Rogue again and rested his hand on her knee. “My dear, he will return soon. I promise.”
Rogue stared at the Professor and he gave that smile again. “It is for the best to let Logan return on his own and sort everything out for himself,” he assured her.
“Damnit!” Rogue stood up and shouted at her mentor. “What makes you think that you’re right?”
“Rogue!” Scott said stepping forward.
Rogue continued ignoring Scott, “I’m asking you to respect my wishes as Logan’s *wife*,” she demanded, “and not follow him anymore. I can’t take it.”
“Rogue,” Scott started to speak but was interrupted mentally by the professor.
“I live every day knowing that Logan is out *there*,” Rogue said pointing toward the outside world, “He is out there doing just fine and he has no memory of ya’ll, of me and what we had together. And he is doing just *fine* with that.”
“We understand,” Scott said.
Noticing the compassion in Scott’s voice, she looked up at him and said, “If you understand, then ya’ll will stop trailing him.”
“If that is your wish, my dear, then we will stop,” the professor relented.
“Thank you,” she mumbled before walking out of the room.
“Do you think this will truly make it better for her?” Scott asked when they were alone in the room.
The professor shook his head, “No, but we will respect what she wants.”
“Professor?” Ororo’s voice came over the intercom.
“Yes?”
“You have a call on line 2,” she told him.
“I’ll go,” Scott said leaving the professor to his privacy.
Rogue sat in the library twirling Logan’s wedding band between her fingers. He always took it off before he went out on missions. She was carrying it down to the med-lab to give it back him the day he left. But she was too late; Logan had awakened the night before in a panic. Scott and the Professor were the only ones that saw him before he left.
She sat there thinking about the last few days, since she had told the Professor to cease watching Logan. She had thought that the pain would stop if no one were giving her a daily update on him. Now it just made her wonder if he was okay or hurt. It was driving her nuts.
“I thought you might be hiding here,” Jubilee said as she snuck up behind her.
Rogue looked up at her best friend and gave a weak smile. “Yeah.”
“You okay?”
Rogue shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t want to deal with this anymore. I’m tired of existing.”
“Okay, I may sound like the biggest bitch, but I don’t care,” Jubilee said firmly putting her hands on her hips. “You have got to get your ass out of this mansion. Get up, you’re going to the mall with me.”
“I don’t feel like it,” Rogue told her looking away.
“I know you don’t feel like it. I know that you’re hurting, and I know that you’re going through hell right now,” Jubilee said as starting to pull Rogue to her feet, “but at least you can buy a new outfit and go through hell looking decent. I mean come on chica, you haven’t bought any new clothes since last year.”
Rogue let a small smile slip past her lips. Only Jubilee could say something like that and get away with it. “I guess you’re right. I do need a break from this place.”
Still holding Rogue’s hand Jubilee dragged her to the door. “I know I’m right,” she said giving her friend a cheesy grin, “I’m alwa….”
Rogue stared at her friend as Jubilee stopped talking and her facial expression went blank. “Jubes?”
“We have to get to the foyer now!” Jubilee shouted as she took off running. “Chuck is calling.”
Rogue took after her. “He didn’t page me!”
“I don’t know why, but it’s a code red!” Jubilee shouted.
Rogue ran down the hall following Jubilee. When she reached the stairwell she saw some kids crouched down peering downstairs through the banisters. Jubilee was already at the bottom by the time Rogue started descending the steps.
When she reached the foyer Rogue saw the backs of all the X-Men in fight stance blocking the view of the front door. She could hear the Professor talking to someone. She began to take off at least one glove just in case.
“You don’t want to do anything irrational. Just put the boy down and we can talk about this,” the professor said.
“There will be no talkin’,” growled a familiar voice.
Rogue’s heart stopped. She was too short to see over Pete and Bobby to see who the Professor was talking to, but she knew the voice. She began to push her way toward the front line.
“Logan, we are your friends,” the professor began, “but we will take every measure to prevent you from hurting anyone. And trust me, you don’t want to cross that line.”
“There’s nothing you can do that will hurt me,” Logan snarled back.
Rogue reached the Professor’s side and came face to face with a very pissed-off Logan. He had his claws extended in one hand while holding Artie by the throat in the other. She stood still watching Logan’s eyes; he had yet to look at her. He kept his eyes on the professor.
Out of the corner of her eye Rogue saw Scott start to edge his way closer toward Logan. She wasn’t the only one that noticed, Logan growled and with quick movements he took Artie and threw him toward Rogue, Pete and Bobby knocking them to the ground.
In the sudden commotion Rogue heard Scott’s blast that ended with a sudden gasp and thud of someone hitting the floor. The Professor shouting “No!” She heard the familiar buzz of Storm causing lighting to strike.
Rogue looked up and saw that Logan was about to be electrocuted as he stood over the professor with his claws inches from the professor’s neck.
“No!” Rogue shouted trying to catch her footing and stand up.
She stood up and with her gloved hand pushed Logan away from the Professor. Logan cocked his head toward her and bared his teeth, “You!” he growled at her. Rogue hesitated a moment to late, and in one swift movement Logan’s claws sliced through her chest.
Gasping for breath Rogue stumbled backwards, tears automatically sliding down her face. She could faintly hear the screams of the others and the professor shouting for everyone to stand back but she kept her eyes locked with Logan. He extended his other set of claws and reared back to finish her off.
As Logan leaned forward to stab her in the stomach, Rogue raised her hand and cupped his face. She could feel his claws retreat as her mutation kicked in, causing him to drop to his knees. Rogue fell with him not letting go. She began to realize something was wrong, Logan was clearly in pain but she didn’t feel herself begin to heal. She didn’t want to heal; she wanted to die.
Rogue saw that Logan’s eyes were about to close and whispered, “I’m sorry.” She watched him fall over with a thud to the ground with a thud. Before the blackness took over her, Rogue turned slightly to look at the remainder of the X-Men, her vision coming and going. They all stood with shock written on their faces. “Don’t let him go this time,” she barely whispered before falling down beside Logan.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thank you Karen for the Beta.
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This is dream sequence
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This is dream sequence
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