“Are we absolutely certain this is a good idea?” Scott asked staring at the bills sitting on the desk before him.
“What do you mean?” Charles poured himself another coffee.
Scott glanced up at his pseudo father and sighed, “Thirteen various latex dildos, two dozen bottles of various lubricants, three tubes of toothpaste, one case muscle balm, and two boxes of assorted sized batteries? What in the world is he teaching?”
“I don’t know but I’d love to sit in on a class.” Jean stated as the door popped open and a slim figure dressed in jeans and a t-shirt slid inside.
“Kitty what on earth are you doing?”
“Hiding. Jubilee has lost her mind!” Kitty gasped. “She drew up a list!”
“Of what?”
Questions. She’s got an entire page of them she plans on asking us.”
“Obviously she’s gotten into her studies.” Charles stated.
“But she’s asking us!” Kitty sank into the nearest chair. “Personally I don’t care about the difference between muscle balm and massage oil as a lubricant. I don’t want to know which sexual aid she likes the best…I hear enough of it as is!”
“She isn’t using it!” Scott gaped.
“I got informed this morning that she has no intention of returning it. Why in the hell she opened the package when the rest of us didn’t is beyond me.”
“Well you have to admit she’s closer to Logan’s room than you are. Perhaps she’s hearing…”
“Or maybe she’s watching that tape we made.” Kitty muttered with a pointed look at Scott.
“Kitty just calm down. Why are you getting so worked up over this?”
“Whose brilliant idea was it to try to find out the details of their sexual escapades by having him teach us sexual education?”
“This is only the start of week three. Don’t you think you should give it some time? I mean surely you have to admit you’re learning something.”
“But its all about self-pleasure!” Kitty groaned. “I know about that! I wanna know about the good stuff. The whole two people thing.” She fell silent at the soft chuckle from everyone else in the room.
“Trust me. If Logan’s teaching you about sex just soak it all in. He probably knows more in five minutes than the rest of us do in a lifetime.
“
“Okay.” Kitty rose smoothly. “But if Jubilee tells me one more time about that stupid bunny shaped thing again I swear I’m gonna stick it where the sun don’t shine and leave it there.”
Charles hid a snicker as Kitty departed. “I must admit he’s shown a remarkable talent for this particular class.”
“You find another teacher?”
“Haven’t even looked.” Charles admitted. “Frankly I’m too interested in finding out what everyone else seems to be so determined to know.”
Laughing softly they sipped their drinks carefully. Today would be interesting.
Rogue sat the folders she carried on Logan’s desk amid the soft murmurs from the other students. Glancing up as the door opened she smiled at Bobby and Kitty.
“Morning.”
“What’s this week’s torture?” Bobby asked sinking into a seat and eying Rogue carefully.
“What makes you think I know?” Rogue asked softly.
“Hmm you’re obviously the teacher’s pet!”
Rogue giggled. “Relax it’s painless.”
“Morning brats,” Logan ground out as he stomped over to his desk. “This week I figured we could move onto some of the more unpleasant side of sex.”
“What do you mean?”
“STD’s, STI’s, Pregnancies.” Logan listed off.
“What’s so bad about being pregnant?” Jubilee cracked her gum.
With a roll of his eyes Logan reached for the top folder. “If you ain’t got any questions…”
“I believe I asked one.”
“Being seventeen and knocked up ain’t pretty. Most guys have a hard time with it as is, you saying some pansy-ass knocks you up and leaves and you’d be happy?”
“Put like that.” Jubilee shrugged and settled back into her seat. “Talk away oh Great Sex God!”
“When do we get to the good stuff?” Kitty demanded.
“When you’re ready.” Logan shot back and tossed the folder in front of her. “That’s this week’s reading.”
“We all know about the Clap and shit like that. Can’t we just…?”
“No. Now then anyone else with a deathwish? No good. In case you ain’t familiar with this it’s called a condom. If you’re even thinking of sex have some on hand.”
“Why? If you’re dry humping or doing oral you can’t…”
“Jubilee please shut up!” Logan growled. “Before I tape your mouth shut.”
“But…”
“JUBILEE!”
“No need to shout.” Jubilee slid further down in her seat.
“Now where was I? Oh yeah,” Logan nodded as Rogue pointed at the condom in his hand. “Just cause you’re a girl don’t mean you shouldn’t have some on hand. Guys are notorious for wanting to go bareback…” He paused. “Definitions will be given after the lecture Jubilee.”
“I just wanted to say I knew what that meant.”
Growling softly Logan glared at her before glancing at Rogue. “Buy her a dictionary or something.”
Rogue giggled and nodded before leaning back in her seat, her ankles crossed under her desk.
“If there’s even the slightest chance of bodily fluids being exchanged then you need to be prepared.”
“Uh Logan, sir?” Kitty raised her hand. “You can’t get pregnant from not contact.”
“Bullshit. If there’s the possibility of sperm coming into contact with the vagina from any source,” Logan paused and looked around. “There’s a chance of pregnancy. Dry humping, anal, early withdrawal all of that brings sperm into contact with the body.”
“What if they um you know…” Lara flushed and waved at her chest. “Um on your chest or face.”
“If you spread it around with our hands you’re looking at possible contact. Sperm can live three to five days outside of the male body as long as its somewhere moist and warm. Besides that you really want to risk getting a disease or infection? Invest in a box of these babies and you’re set.”
Rising he took out a small bowl filled with pieces of paper. “Y’all are going to be researching this week. There’s a bunch of names in this bowl. Diseases, infections, even pregnancy and I want everyone to become very familiar with them. Whatever name you draw you’ll be doing a oral presentation on during Thursday’s class.”
“What’s Friday?”
“Exam day.”
“Uh why can’t we learn this the way Dr. Grey teaches it? All this is doing is making me want to abstain from sex for the rest of my life?” Bobby muttered under his breath as he reached into the bowl.
“Cause I ain’t Jeannie Drake. Whatcha got?”
Bobby groaned as he let his head hit his desk with a thud. “You’re torturing me because I wanted an invitation to watch aren’t you?”
“What have you got?” Logan replied taking the slip from Bobby’s slack hand. Laughing he patted the young man on the shoulder. “Well at least your wife’ll be glad to know you’re an expert.”
“Why what did you get?” Jubilee craned her neck to see what had Bobby going red in the face and Logan laughing.
“Pregnancy.” Bobby muttered amid growing laughter. “I’m not even a girl!”
The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
Barely Legal Since 2000