Logan’s Past 14
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Well, I suppose I should be thankful that I’m still in once piece. Actually, thankful doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel. Dumbfounded, startled, shocked; the list could go on and on. Because the one thing I never expected Logan to do was nod at practically everything I said, not interrupt, then just up and walk out of my room.
I’ve never in my life been scared of him. Not when I first laid eyes on the cage fighting brawler, not when he first popped the claws at that stupid shit bigot at the bar, not even when he was driving off after ordering me outta his trailer.
But I’m scared of him now.
A sputtering Wolverine I can handle, a speechless Wolverine I can handle, I can even handle a pissed off Wolverine – hell I’m the only one that can handle a P-O-ed Wolverine! But whatever words could describe him as he walked out of my room, I don’t think I can handle any of those things. Heck, I can’t even find the words to use to describe him!! Scared? Maybe. Startled? Probably. Dumbfounded? Wait a minute, these words sound a little familiar.
Oh, yeah, heh, that’s how I’m feeling!
But Logan, the only word I can come up with is – blank. He was just, blank. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t make any faces, he didn’t have any questions. Even when I started in with the damn dream!! I thought for sure he’d call me on the carpet for that one!! Call me full o’shit and threaten me until I spilled who put me up to such a nasty trick as to fool with him about his past.
I thought the pictures and stuff would help. At least cause a change of expression. Do I dare admit that I secretly hoped for some sign of pleasure when he saw “our” wedding photo? He didn’t even ask if I knew anything about Jean Marie and me!! Was I her, was she me, am I some sorta reincarnation? Sure, I couldn’ta answered him, but, SHIT!! He at least coulda shown some damn curiosity!!
I’ve got no idea where he is right now. I’ve got no idea as to what to do right now. He certainly didn’t seem dangerous when he left here. I know that the Professor could sense if Logan were about to lose it; heck, he’s called me for de-fusing duty enough times. And since I haven’t gotten any calls on the brain phone, I can only assume he’s not about to shred the whole mansion. But there is one thing I’ve learned after all these years knowing Logan…never assume anything with him!
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~She did it. The kid actually did it. She found some of my past. An’ I don’t have a fuckin’ clue as to how to feel about it. How’s that for a kick in the teeth, huh? All these years, travelin’, huntin’, fightin’, brawlin’ all over the seven continents; well six anyway. Who the fuck goes to Antarctica because they want to??
All this time, goin’ all over Hell’s half acre lookin’ for this shit; and a little wisp of girl finds a whole folder full of stuff in a dusty damned library in an afternoon!
I’ll tell ya fer nothin’, my first impulse when she started in with that dream shit was ta call her full o’it! But, hell! Dream or not, ya can’t argue with what came of it. She really existed! This Jean Marie LeRouge. I’d be laughin’ my ass off if there weren’t papers and pictures to prove it. DAMN!! ‘Jean’! And that last name?? ‘LeRouge’? What the fuck is that about?
Aw, hell! Fuck the name, what the hell is up with Marie getting’ all this shit from a dream?? Ok, so she said this was gonna get a little ‘fantastic’. But info, on the past, from a dream??
*SNIKT*
Yup, there they are. Adamantium claws. Comin’ out m’knuckles…
*SNIKT*
…an goin’ right back in again. Skin and muscles and shit healin’ over like they was never there.
I got no backin’ to go questionin’ her on a fuckin’ dream!! If these damn things hadn’ta just popped outta my hands, then maybe I’d waltz right back up ta her room and ask her just what the fuck did she think she was pullin. But as long as the claws are still here, as long as she’s got the lethal skin, as long as Scooter’s got ta wear those damn ugly shades; I got no place questionin’ a simple dream.
Hell, a damn dream is the normal-est thing goin’ on around here!!
Fuck! What the fuck is normal anyway? Sure as shit ain’t runnin’ around in skin tight leather, flyin’ ‘cross the globe at mach 16 or whatever, fightin’ against bad guys intent on killin’ off the same damn fools I’d want ta kill if I hadn’ta run into Chuck! No, that sure as shit ain’t normal!
Yeah, ‘normal’…normal should be a man and his woman, a nice piece o’ground all their own. Little house, prob’ly built with ya own two hands. Some farmin’ or some ranchin’. Workin’ with whatever Mother Nature’ll give ya. Some good, honest, hands on labor and sweat. Good life surrounded by good people, like-minded, like ya’self.
It all sounds too damn good to be true. And yet, it all feels so familiar too.
I can’t get over this picture of this Jean Marie. Looks so damn much like *my*Marie. Yeah!! That’s what I said, asshole!! MY Marie! Can’t tell ya when the hell that changed, but it did. I guess it was always there, I just tried to ignore it. She’s still so fuckin’ young! But then, bein’ a hun’erd and twelve, I guess that makes pretty near everybody I know pretty damn young!!
I guess all this shit sorta explains all the screamin’ and yellin’ the other day in the woods when I got back. Gotta give Scooter the brownie points for figurin’ out she was probably damn scared about tellin’ me all this. It makes sense now, her wondering ‘what’ I’m lookin’ for. I bet she was thinking I’d be disappointed that this stuff didn’t have anything ta do with the bastards that gave me the hardware. She wanted to know how I’d feel about leads that didn’t have nothin’ ta do with the military, NOW I know why.
And how do ya feel, there, Logan?
Well, I tell ya, I’m surprised. I’m pleased in some way but don’t go askin’ for specifics on that right now, ‘cause I got nothin’ specific to say! I get this weird feelin’ in my chest when I look at the pictures of Jean Marie and me. I can’t say as I’m rememberin’ any of this stuff that *my*Marie found, at least not yet. But there is something familiar ticklin’ at the back of m’head when I look at these pictures. It’s a nice feeling, a little like when I think about how nervous Marie was at trying ta tell me all this. Something was buggin’ her but good, I knew that the second I opened the door to her room. Then I got all nuts on her about the damn picture up on her computer…nervous got shot right outta the window then, quickly replaced by antsy, then just flat out pissed!
But, I’m feelin’ good right about now. If I don’t think too hard, don’t try and think about all of it at one time; I can honestly say I feel good about this stuff. Tell anybody I said this and I’ll gut ya, but it’s nice to finally know that at one time I was human. Oh, sure, I was still obviously a mutant then, but then all I prob’ly had was the healin’ factor. But having somethin’ concrete now; showin’ I had a family, that I came from a family, that’s something I never even dared hoped to have.
I guess Marie and Scooter were right to ask if all I was after was revenge on those lab bastards. If I never hoped to find stuff like this, then I ‘spose revenge was all I had left to go after.
*YAWN*
Hell! Who knew so much thinkin’ could wear ya out so? Clock says it’s bout half past midnight. Guess I ought ta grab some shut eye. Definitely gotta talk ta Marie in th’mornin’. I know I kinda freaked her out by just walking outta her room. But saying I had ta process this shit is a damn understatement! Hmmm, wonder if I should try and talk to her now, maybe she’s too freaked ta try and sleep herself?
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