The night had passed slowly, their touches on each other had been planned, slowly mapped out in each others minds before skin met skin. Each one a sensory memory, complete in all form and sense, nothing about them would ever be forgotten from this time, this night where he'd lost her and she'd lost sight of him.
She memorised the way his skin tasted, the way it creased near his shoulder, the tufts of hair that knitted together on his thighs and the way she seemed to fill all of his hard places with softness. The planes of her own muscled body matching his own, but rounded, gentler than his own strength but not weaker in any way. That night love was shared, rebonded, remade as the memories of the boy were lost in her shadow filled void of a mind.
Next morning she was up before him, a rarity these days but the look on his face when she'd walked in had told her enough. He was disappointed in her, there was some line she'd crossed, something he'd never expected her to do.
Like talk to an enemy, give them information about their plans, show them their weakness and the way to harm them.
He didn't chastise her, he didn't need to she felt it in her bones, in her blood that she'd crossed a line, made herself less in his eyes. He didn't look at her as she gave him breakfast from the diner on the corner. Steak and eggs, black coffee, two sweet rolls and an orange. They'd both eaten in complete silence, she'd finished first plucking the keys from the table she'd just gone to the truck and started it up. She needed to talk to him, to get him to open up and this way was best, if she was driving she couldn't kill him if he annoyed her. Being in control of the vehicle also meant he couldn't just stop the truck and avoid her questions.
Throwing their things into the truck he settled back and let her drive them off into the morning light.
They had seven hours to talk before they got home, seven hours to get this thrashed out before they came into range of the worlds most powerful psychic. She hoped she had the stamina to keep him talking that long.
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HOUR ONE
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Music filled the cab, something rocky, she knew the faces of the band but just couldn't seem to place them, she did know the lyrics though; Thomas had liked them. Singing along seemed to make the miles go by that was until Logan's hand had snapped the radio off, his silence so far had made her skin itch. She *knew* he wanted to chew her out for being stupid, for risking everything they'd been planning so carefully. But he was hesitating and that *could* get them both killed.
"Logan if ya don't talk to me soon ah swear ah'll never touch you again." His eyes slid over to hers, crossing his arms he made his point by bunching himself up, showing her exactly what she would be missing. Even now her hands were tightening on the steering wheel, her fingers needing to touch, to feel the firm flesh of his arm, the blood beneath the skin.
Shaking herself back to her resolve she just concentrated on the road ahead of her, keeping her animal drives locked down. She was just as stubborn as he was, they needed to clear the air before they got home and if she had to start things rolling then she would.
"Ah knew what ah was doin' ya know. Emma Frost isn't someone who'd go blabbin' to Xaiver or one of his cronies. Besides all she got from me was what Xavier did to *me*, ya'll didn't even get a look in. All she saw was my personal hatred of the old bastard, the whole 'Ah'll look after you' spiel pity he didn't tell me the rest of it. How ah'd have to turn into a weapon for him, close off everything and everyone just so he can be the so called 'saviour' in mah life!" Her accent was thickening, she was losing her control over her emotions as Wolverine began pacing in her head. The more she thought about what Xavier had convinced her, that she was untouchable, unlovable, unobtainable even to Logan. The more Wolverine began moving in her mind, all the times she'd been told to be careful, all the times she'd been excluded from activities because 'she had to be more careful' had to be 'more responsible' that the burden of her gift was on *her*. Grinding her teeth together as she lost herself in the road and the people on it, avoiding heavy trucks, making sure she kept to the speed limit. Anything to block out the anger she had running around her body.
Finally when she felt she'd explode Logan touched her hand, the feeling of his fingers running up her bare skin giving her something to focus on apart from her rage. Daring a look at him she saw his face, lined and looking old, as if he'd aged twenty years in a second. He looked away into the countryside passing them by, as if looking for the way to start into the huge maelstrom churning inside his head. Sighing he began, "You were always mine, I told you already. He promised you to me."
Marie tried to concentrate on the semi that was overtaking her keeping herself calm as the backwash shifted the rear end out a little.
"How?"
The silence lasted no less than a minute a record in their stakes of comunication.
"After my first multiple, I wanted to leave, wanted to get the hell out of there, go back to my life. What life I had, thats when he brought you there. He promised me someone, someone I could *have* but I had to be patient, be a good little solider and I'd get my 'reward'." He looked at her then, his eyes blazing, the heat in them were surprising to her. The scent of them both filling the confines of the truck, confusing scents, anger, upset, lust, frustration, Marie cracked a window letting in the still cold air of spring lessening the odours they were both picking up on.
Silence reigned again for about six miles when Logan ended it again, his hand now hanging out of his window. The wind running through his long hair, making it swirl in the eddies that filled the cab. "When Sabertooth grabbed you, why do you think he sent me after you?" Keeping her eyes forward she let him continue, seeing her tighten her grip on the wheel he just finished the thought. "Xavier knew what you were, what you were hiding inside, what you were capable of. Why else would Buckethead want you? You'd have made a wonderful warrior for him don't you think? Someone with your gifts learning control from Mystique, using your talents to kill as and when?"
He let the words settle on her skin, the weight of them forcing her to blink her eyes free of tears. Even when he'd offered her a home he'd been planning this, planning to use her as a weapon. One that even Magneto couldn't resist, so he'd sent his team to get her, and she'd fought, fought back right up until the team had come to get her. Then she'd given in, let herself be rescued, being weak so they could see she needed their help. If she'd fought a hand free she could've killed Sabertooth, touched and drained him dry in moments. What state her mind would've been in was another matter entirely but she could've done it. Just as she killed the man back on the mountain.
"Why you?" He turned to look at her fully, the wind making his hair obscure part of his face, the only part of him she could see clearly were his hands as they flexed. Knuckles taut and skin red as he rubbed them with his palms.
"Who else would've bothered? I mean you couldn't kill me, not unless you made a real effort and before I trained you I could've killed you in less than a second." The complete dead pan tone was something she hadn't expected, the total lack of feeling was something she'd never have thought him capable of with her. But he wasn't finished; not yet.
"Xavier made sure I was on the team to go after you, you have me in your blood Marie, once I'd seen you in that furball's grip do you honestly think I'd've given you up to anyone? Even Xavier? I stabbed that bastard through the skull to get you away from him, I didn't finish him like I wanted to. I took you away *first*, Scott had to restrain him while I saw to *you*. You were *mine*, the only thing that fucker ever gave me that made me want to stay. *You* were there, it was the only reason I came back. I couldn't leave you behind and I couldn't take you with me, not until you were old enough." A wry smile filled his lips giving him some life back to his gaze as he watched the miles go by.
"You did that yourself, got fed up of wondering what I did all those days away from you. Personally I thought you'd have done it sooner but what did I know. You were being trained and cowed as much as I'd been, only when I was allowed to be free was I really myself. The day you saw me kill that suit, I knew I was free, either way, with or without you I was free. Xavier had no hold on me anymore."
It made a terrible sense to her, that she'd been waiting for him to make a move, to show her she was ready to know what he was doing. Only when she'd taken the first step herself had things changed, like now, she was getting into all the dirty laundry. Airing it out, getting him to tell her what he knew, how he knew. Slowing down she parked up on the verge for a moment, Logan turned his empty eyed gaze toward her questioning one.
"How did you know ah'd come?"
His hand reached out to her hair tracing the snow white that was in it, her eyes following the fingers as they traced through the hairs.
"How did you know I'd save you?"
She hadn't but he had, he'd given everything to her, everything he'd been, everything he'd had he'd given over for her life and she knew he'd do it again if she asked him. Tears were blurring her vision again as his presence in her mind shifted to comfort her.
"Why?"
"Because you're mine, an the only good thing I had left in the world. It was a win win situation for me, even if you never followed me you'd still have put me down if I'd asked you to."
Shaking she let go of the wheel and gripped his shirt to her face, pulling him over to her in the process. Speaking into his chest she felt his hands running through her hair, "Ah love you Logan, no one's *ever* gonna take you from me or me from you again. Ah'll kill him, let me kill him, let me see him suffer Logan ah *need* to see it."
That he'd given up all hope of being human again, that Xaiver had taken his choice and hung it on her. That it lay in her hands if he was saved, and she didn't know it. All the time she'd wasted, all the moments she could've been living instead of fearing.
It took her ten minutes to calm down before she could pull back into traffic, tear tracks on her skin, saltyness making it taught and red. Like war paint she knew they'd be worn into her skin by the end of this day. Sneaking a look over at Logan she saw his own tears silent and hot running down his skin, the price of his salvation had been her own damnation but he didn't know she'd have paid it several times over to be here with him. She'd tell him afterward, there were more questions to ask, more answers to get before they went home and she was determined to get them.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Talking never was his strong suit but now it's time to share the burden on his shoulders.