The gentle swaying of the waves did little to ease Rogue’s mind as she sat on her deck, a frown marring her face. In the distance she could clearly see their upcoming port of call where they were slated to stay the next few days.
Shifting uneasily, she shook her head and reached for her bottle of water. She wasn’t too sure if she should go back to New York just yet. After all, she’d never run from a fight before and this one – well it was just a little more personal than any of the others.
She knew Logan’s advice while unusual was true. She had to listen to her heart, listen to what it said and take things from there. After all lust wasn’t a very good reason to do something – instead she would figure things out on her own.
Thankful that they were only spending the night in the quaint seaside town before moving inland to a small French village, Rogue remained in her stateroom long after the boat had docked, and all but the staff had departed. Sitting on her deck she stared out over the old Florentine buildings, the beautiful sprawling scenery, and wondered if she was losing her mind.
The fact that Logan had called twice during the most strained parts of this trip niggled at her mind. How could he possibly have known she needed to talk to him so desperately? Would he have called at any other time? What did it mean that he’d called at all?
Logan had been plenty pissed when she told him she was gonna be away from the mansion, somehow she couldn’t see him forgiving her that so easily. He would want her where he thought she was safe, but was she safe at the mansion? She couldn’t live in a gilded cage forever, not with him in her mind and heart.
Sighing she rested her chin on her hand and watched the birds flying above her. Logan had risked so much for her, given her so much, and for her to push that aside as nothing was stupid. She knew him, knew what he was like, and for him to give something of himself was a rarity. In the years of his life he could remember he’d never once allowed himself that weakness, and yet for her he had. He’d given her so much of him – not just his memories, not just his gifts, his blood, but his tags… the only tangible evidence of his past. A past that he clung to because he feared the future, he feared going through life alone without the other half of his soul.
“Ooh that man is driving me insane from thousands of miles away,” she muttered as she rose to pad into her stateroom. Grabbing another drink she retreated out into the warm sunshine and the seat she’d claimed.
Living in the here and now wasn’t reason enough to betray that sort of faith, that sort of emotional tie. Even if he lusted after Dr. Grey, sooner or later he’d allow himself to feel again and then, where would he turn if not to her? Good or bad, Logan saw her as a gift in his life, a treasure, and to toss that aside like yesterdays news made her worse than stupid… it made her a fool.
“Where is he when I need to talk?” she muttered picking up a pen and tapping it against her knees. Glancing at her watch, she rose and gathered her attire for the dinner in town.
From where he sat, Mr. M watched Rogue’s contemplation with a soft, easy grin. She had refused to come ashore earlier in the day, and he’d taken it upon himself to stay behind and protect her. Glancing across the cobblestones at the furthest table, he raised an eyebrow at the man sitting there with the manicured perfection that was his wife. The man had an obvious death wish, and he’d only proven how close he came to dying when the man had tried to sneak back aboard.
Not wanting to break his character he’d used intimidation and a few well placed punches to get his point across, you didn’t go anywhere near the beauty sitting thinking her day away.
Rising at the sudden appearance of the limo, he moved up the street to a shadowy alcove and watched Rogue slip into the car in a designer pants suit. “Good for you kid,” he muttered and headed for the hotel.
Sitting through dinner, Rogue tried desperately to avoid the conversations going on around her, as well as the people. She ate silently, kept to herself, and refused to look up. She knew that everyone was wondering where she’d been, and she couldn’t bring herself to tell them the truth.
Somehow she just couldn’t believe that they’d be overjoyed to hear she’d spent the day listening to her heart telling her she was falling in love with Logan all over again. Not the Logan everyone wanted to believe he was, but the man who had been willing to do whatever it took to survive, to keep her alive and whole. The man who’d done more for her in a week than any other man had ever done in her life.
“I do hope you aren’t feeling unwell,” Missus Monroe spoke softly to the young woman sitting next to her. “You look a bit pale.”
“Just, uh, doing some thinkin’,” Rogue replied softly with a hint of a smile. “Missing my friends, my family, Logan.”
The elder woman nodded carefully, her gaze darting across the table to the man dressed in black, his hair slicked back, and his glasses firmly in place, “Has he called you?”
Rogue smiled, “Yes. Twice now. I’m so glad that I’ve had a chance to talk to him, he gives me such great advice.”
“He still in Canada?”
“As far as I know. With him, you can never tell,” she sighed and shrugged, “But that’s okay. As long as he’s talking I know he’s alive.”
Missus Monroe chuckled, “Glad to hear it. Would you like to join us for drinks?”
Biting her lip, Rogue glanced up at the movement from across the table and shook her head, “I’d love to join you, but I’m still feeling a bit off from all the drinking I did last night. Perhaps for coffee?”
“Much better idea,” Missus Monroe declared and turned back to her husband, casting a quick glance at Mr. M who sat watching Rogue with a serious expression.
Ignoring most of the people in the room, Mr. M approached Rogue who stood next to a bookshelf holding a delicate china cup of coffee. Her fingers were tracing over the bindings of the books, a look of intense concentration on her face.
*I didn’t see you today, is everything okay?* he asked quickly.
Rogue glanced at him and shrugged, tensing up as she stared at him. Looking away for a second, she glanced back at him, “I, uh, I owe you an apology for last night. I let myself get carried away and that’s not like me.”
*No explanation…*
“I think you owe me one as well. You’re involved with some woman back in Rocky Mountain House, she’s waiting for you and you’re here smarming on me. I don’t think that’s fair to either of us, any of us.”
*You are quite right, it is not fair.*
“So in future we can spend time together, socially. But I will not allow myself to be directed by lust, or by the feeling of acceptance that you give me. I can’t. Logan may not realize it, but he loves the whole package, not just my looks, not just my accent; the whole package, deadly skin and all. Granted I’ve managed to master it but still – you’ve never experienced what he has, and you never will because you don’t heal,” Rogue stated raising a hand when the man standing next to her gathered himself. “Logan told me to listen to my heart, and my heart tells me that I love Logan. I love his bad moods, his surly attitude, his cigars, his fighting, his claws, everything! I couldn’t care less about his past or about what he’s done to survive because I know about it all. I’d rather be with him then be some holiday mistress. Are we clear?”
A quick nod, a ghost of a smile, *As glass. So I guess this means you wouldn’t be interested in going to the shops tomorrow before we leave?*
“Actually that was my plan. I was going shopping for something for Dr. Grey, she told me about a designer she wanted to get something from.”
*Shall we meet in the lobby at say nine a.m. then? I promise to respect your wishes.*
Rogue nodded, “That’s agreeable. Good evening, Mr. M.”
Watching her walk away, he hid his grin until she had disappeared.
“She’s gonna kill you,” Mr. Monroe declared with a chuckle, holding out a glass of bourbon. “And you’re going to let her.”
“Yep,” he grunted with a smirk, “Because I’ve got something worth dying for.”
“Yes, you do,” Mr. Monroe declared as the tall, broad shouldered man who’d helped him walked away with the grace of a cat, and the stealth and power of a born predator. Glancing across the room at his wife, he smiled, “And you’re going to spend a long, long time treasuring it.”
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