The smell of salt in the air was thick as he sat watching the slim figure below him. For the first time since they’d boarded the cruise ship Rogue had managed to utilize the pool, and he was taking the opportunity to watch unabashed. She’d opted to wear the two piece green and black bikini that she’d bought while in St. Thomas, and he definitely approved of her choice.
Shifting in his seat, Mr. M lifted his hand to signal he wanted another beer even as his gaze stayed on the young woman doing laps in the pool on the deck below. She’d been avoiding him all afternoon, hiding from what her body and mind were telling her and it amused him.
He realized that she was on the verge of making a huge decision, one that would ultimately affect their future and he wanted her to know that she could win regardless of her choice. Of course he realized that there were still issues that had to be worked out and he knew he was going to enjoy that part of them – especially knowing how much of a firecracker she was. A slow, steady grin spread over his face as he shifted and watched her do a dive into the clear water and begin swimming another set of laps, the water glistening off her pale skin. Oh yes, he was relishing the thought of their rewards for all his subterfuge. His only concern was that she could still love the man he was, as well as the monster.
Draining his drink in one swallow, he rose and moved over to the railing. Leaning on it, he stared down at the shimmering blue water that reflected the sunlight and wished they were somewhere else, somewhere they could drop the facades, the lies and just take what they needed.
“So how goes the plotting?” the soft, aged tone had him glancing over his shoulder at the older woman smirking at him as she stood there with a wide-brimmed hat.
“It goes,” he grunted.
“She loves you; we can see it as plain as white paint on a black background.”
With a quick grin he shrugged, “So you don’t mind me takin’ over your boat, huh?”
“Taking over my yacht?” the woman gasped in false shock as she slapped a hand to her chest, “It’s like I told you. Anything we have is yours; after all if you hadn’t stepped in they would have killed him.”
A subtle shift of well muscled shoulders was the only indication of acknowledgement, “Did what anyone would have done, Mrs. Monroe. Did what any self-respecting man would have done.”
“So, I hear you’re leaving us in Greece?”
“Yes,” he replied shifting away from the railing and back into the shade of the canopy as Rogue climbed out of the pool, his gaze never leaving her as she walked over to grab a towel and settle on a lounge chair. “I’ve got to get things organized back home. Once this is over there’s going to be hell to pay, and I don’t want the geeks to find out about it.”
“You’re a very complex man, Mr. Mustelidae,” Mrs. Monroe declared easily, “Yet not so multifaceted that a person can’t see what you’re made of.”
“What does that mean?” the low growl held more than a little anger.
“You worship her, and no one can hide that. She doesn’t see it because of her own fear, her own set of blinders, but I do,” Mrs. Monroe moved over to him and rested her hand on his arm, “You know, loving her doesn’t mean you’re gonna hurt her.”
“I did once. Nearly killed her.”
“But she’s alive and, if what she’s said in the past few weeks is any indication, very much in love with the man who for some reason hasn’t called her on her cell phone. Perhaps you should; just to say hi, say you’re thinking of her. Let her see that side of you, vulnerability with the woman you love is not a crime.”
“No, it’s a weakness.”
“In love there are no weaknesses,” Mrs. Monroe replied as she turned away, “Only strengths, and joys, and pains of loving. Its like she told you, love isn’t a fairytale, Mr. Mustelidae, it’s what happens when the fairytale ends.”
With that soft barb she disappeared down the stairs, leaving him to his vigil over the young woman who was currently sunning on a lounge chair below. Frowning suddenly, every muscle in his body tensed as he spotted a familiar golden-boy figure approaching her.
With a low growl he grabbed his sunglasses and turned for the stairs, he’d be damned if he’d leave her to that oil-slick’s intentions. Barely suppressing the rage that boiled within him, he stalked across the deck toward the stairs and stomped down them before sliding the glasses back on and assuming the calm, silent role he’d adopted.
“So they tell me that you’re cruising with us all the way back to New York,” the slick tone had him grinding his teeth as he spotted Rogue calmly wrapping herself back up in a robe.
“Yes,” Rogue replied coldly and met Cherie’s husband’s gaze, “It’s a trip of discovery for me.”
“Oh? A girl as pretty as you needs an excuse to cruise?” the man chuckled and moved a few inches closer to her. A moment later he leaned closer and rested his hand on her robe covered thigh, “So where are you from, Rogue?” the question was loaded, filled with poorly concealed lust and more than a little conceit.
“Nowhere you’ve ever heard of,” Rogue rose to her feet and glared at him, “Excuse me, I’ve got to go.”
“So soon? And we were just getting to know one another,” the man rose smoothly and stared at her with a smile. His body leaning toward her, his gaze running up and down her body, peeling away the layers of clothing she wore.
“Excuse me, Miss Rogue,” the rather sudden appearance of one of the stewards drew everyone’s attention, and Mr. Mustelidae paused in his advance at the appearance of the young woman.
“Yes?”
“The Captain was wondering if you would be attending this evening’s social gathering.”
“Uh, what is it?” Rogue frowned as she moved a few steps away from Cherie’s too polished husband.
“A costume party,” the steward smiled softly, “The Captain was hoping you would join everyone for this event after all we are pulling into France in a day or so and it would be so lovely to have everyone present for the costume ball.”
“I didn’t really..”
*I’m certain there is something that you could wear,* came the quick motion from fingers that had remained idle. *If not, you could wear a mask and be the belle of the ball.*
Chuckling, Rogue flushed and glanced away from the comment, trying to calm the butterflies that had suddenly decided to make an appearance. With a quick smile at him, she turned and hurried back to her room.
Glancing at the smooth blonde, Mr. Mustelidae shifted and raised an eyebrow before shouldering past the man, knocking him into the pool, expensive suit and all. With a quickly hidden smirk at the steward, he headed for his cabin. He had a call to make.
The ringing of the phone had Rogue tossing her towel aside as she picked up her cell, “Hello.”
“Hey, kid,” the distinct growl from across the line had her sinking onto the bed, her hands trembling. “How’s it goin’?”
“Uh, fine, Logan,” she replied softly, “I miss you.”
“I miss you too. You know your hockey stats better ‘n anyone else I’ve ever met,” he stated calmly.
Giggling softly, Rogue shrugged, “You finding what you’re lookin’ for?”
“Yeah,” Logan replied seriously, “In a way. Found out more than I wanted, and yet it wasn’t what I really wanted. Guess that don’t make much sense.”
“Makes perfect sense,” Rogue replied softly, soothingly. It sounded very much like Logan was as confused as she was, and being so far from him didn’t help ease her confusion. “I ain’t found out jack shit on this trip, it’s a waste of time.”
“Naw kid, it ain’t. You’ll see. You’ll come back and be fully recharged and ready for anything.”
“I wish I could be so positive. I, uh, I met someone.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, he’s got a girlfriend, and he’s really nice. He kinda reminds me of you, only without the temper,” Rogue stated softly, “And it’s confusing as hell because I feel like I’m torn in two ways, like I’m betrayin’ you..”
“What do you want?”
“Something I’m not sure I can have,” Rogue stated sadly, rising to pace to her patio doors and slipping outside onto her small balcony, breathing in the warm salt air. “There are moments when it’s like we’re the only two people alive and yet a part of me longs for something simpler, something a little less…”
“Tame?” Logan asked softly.
“Yeah,” Rogue agreed and sighed, “I wish you were here, I wish I could talk to you all the time.”
“Aw kid, I’m always gonna be with you. Look, I gotta go, some asshole’s waiting for this phone. I tell ya what, I’ll try to call again – you know try and be less of an inconsiderate asshole.”
“I don’t care about that,” Rogue admitted softly, painfully. “As long as you call me, I’ll be happy. I’m sorry I didn’t give you much notice on this whole vacation thing. I should have thought more about it.”
“Naw, you obviously needed it. Have fun and I’ll call ya again, okay?”
“Okay,” Rogue replied as the phone went dead in her hand, “I love you, Logan.”
Leaning against the railing, Rogue stared out over the waves her throat tight, her eyes burning. It hurt to hear from him because she knew he was only touching base with a friend when she wanted so much more.
Staring down at the small silver phone in her hand, Rogue sighed before turning and heading inside, completely unaware of the dark shadow that leaned against the railing above hers. She needed a shower and some time to get ready for the upcoming ball. Shaking her head she sighed, whoever heard of a costume ball on a small boat?
Shaking her head at her own foolishness, Rogue slipped soundlessly onto the deck and paused to glance around. The Monroe’s were dancing to the slow jazzy beat; Cherie was sitting sulking in a corner, her husband conspicuously absent, and Mr. M was standing against the railing with a glass of something.
Smiling softly, Rogue moved toward her friend amid the swaying lights, warm breezes, and the sultry music, “I see they managed to get you out in this,” she smiled softly.
*I came to see you. I figured a woman as beautiful as you would be here, would know how to dance.*
Rogue flushed slightly and ducked her head before shrugging even as she noticed the offered hand held out to her. With a slight sigh, she pushed thoughts of the phone call aside and took it, moving gracefully into his embrace.
Swaying to the soft tunes, she easily put aside thoughts of anything but the night. Time after time she danced with him, sipping wine in between the dances until she had to admit that she felt a bit tipsy. Giggling softly, she moved against the warmth of his body, even as he twirled her away from the ‘brighter’ lights and over into a darker, more secluded corner.
“The Captain had a really good idea with this,” Rogue whispered softly even as she came to rest against the edge of the deck’s railing. “This has been such a wonderful and relaxing evening. I mean Els and Frank are acting like kids, even the stewards are having fun, and I’ve never danced so much in my life.”
Smiling softly he watched her steadily, noting the flush on her cheeks and the happy sparkle in her eyes, *Nearly perfect, huh?*
“No, no, it’s a perfect evening. I’m having fun, I’m not worried about tomorrow, and I’m free,” she giggled and held her arms out to turn in a quick circle. “It’s perfect!”
Nodding slowly he leaned forward, pulling her slowly into his arms as the music faded to a soft background noise. For the first time in a very long time, he wasn’t thinking about the ramifications of moving too fast, the problems that his hurried moves could create; instead he was focused on showing her he cared.
Dipping his head, he traced over her cheek with a thumb before closing in to kiss her gently, his tongue tracing over her lips softly. The soft gasp she gave left him an opening, and he deepened the kiss.
Her head swimming Rogue moaned softly at the pressure he exerted, deepening the kiss easily even as he pulled her a little tighter against him. The pounding in her head was echoed with the pounding in her chest as she responded blindly, letting her inhibitions fall to the wayside.
When he nipped her bottom lip, though, she gasped and jerked away from him to stare in horror, “Oh my god! I can’t,” she whispered tearfully and stepped back, her body trembling. “I can’t do this. I can’t betray him like that. I’m so sorry, I can’t…”
With her breath hitching on a sob, Rogue turned and raced down the stairs toward her stateroom.
Slamming the door and locking it, she slowly slid down the solid surface as the tears began to fall with even more rapid haste, dampening her cheeks and falling off her chin to land on her dress. Dropping her head onto her arms, folded on her knees, she sobbed silently, the haze from her drinks settling more confusion upon her as she hunkered there.
“I can’t believe I did that,” she sobbed before crawling over to her bed and falling on it to cry herself to sleep. She’d betrayed herself, and she’d betrayed Logan. There was no excuse, because this time she’d kissed him back and she’d enjoyed it.
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