Sitting at his lone table Mr. Mustelidae sipped at the glass of bourbon in front of him and stared out over the water. He didn’t doubt that Rogue wouldn’t join him; he knew she’d been on the phone with her friends back home. No, he waited for something much more dangerous than the slip of a girl that occupied his mind. He waited for the fear, the anxiety over her to rear its ugly head and destroy him.
Downing the last of the strong liquor quickly, he raised his glass at the young tuxedo-wearing crew member standing by the bar and waited for another drink. It had been too long since he’d relaxed, since he’d been somewhere his heart could rest easily. Too long since he’d seen the eyes of a beautiful woman filled with warmth, with laughter, and yes, with the love he so desperately needed.
He didn’t think for one minute that things would ever be easy but he was willing to do whatever was needed to be sure that she knew, that she understood, *why* if not *what* he was doing.
Accepting the glass of amber liquid with a nod, he glanced at the doorway once more before focusing his attention on the water, “Bring the bottle, Jack,” he muttered, grateful that the steward merely nodded and set the bottle down in front of him.
He had a lot of thinking, a lot of planning to do before the end of this little trip and he needed every ounce of courage he could muster. This wasn’t like kicking someone’s ass, this was about being what she needed him to be, what she needed …and deserved…to have in her life.
Glancing at the book to his right he smiled slightly, he still had four and a half months to prove it to her, four and a half months to show her what she meant to him even if it killed him.
Sitting in the warm tropical breeze Rogue sipped at her drink even as she struggled to contain her hair. The rapidly growing coastline didn’t hold her attention; rather the setting sun wrapping its warmth and golden light over her did.
She hadn’t called home in a few days, not since her talk with Jubilee, and she was feeling more than a little uneasy. What if Logan hadn’t called, what if he didn’t want anything more to do with her? What if he’d read more into her taking a vacation than she’d intended?
This cruise was supposed to be about her; about finding out who Rogue was, but so far all she’d done was cause herself pain and worry, and perhaps hurt Logan. She knew Logan needed to know where she was, needed to have some sort of contact with her because that’s the only way he could keep himself centered. It just hurt to know that she would never have more than that from him, never have what she really wanted.
The discreet sound of a cough from behind her had her glancing up to see Mr. Mustelidae standing there with a slight smile on his face. He gestured to a chair and she nodded, smiling politely.
“By all means,” Rogue said, shifting so he could sit down comfortably. She hid the bitterness that flooded her as she realized that he was spending an awful lot of time trying to think of ways to spend time with her. Not that she thought she had any reason to complain, he was charming and sweet, and he didn’t care that she was a mutant. No, she cared because out of everything he was it, it was what he *wasn’t* that bothered her. He wasn’t crass, gruff, unruly, loyal to a fault, and lined with adamantium.
“How are you today?” Rogue asked softly and was rewarded with a nod and a smile.
*Well,* he signed, glad that she’d been rather quick on the uptake with sign language. Made him wonder where she’d picked up the knowledge, not that he questioned it too deeply. Everyone, after all, was entitled to a few secrets. *And yourself?*
“Just a little homesick. Miss my friends, miss Logan.”
He nodded and gestured to the glass in her hand in a clear gesture she took to mean a query about another drink. Shaking her head she smiled and set the glass back on the table.
“Are you going to be completing the entire trip?” she asked softly.
Shaking his head he smiled at her, *No, I’ll be getting off in Greece. Flying home from there.*
“Where’s home if you don’t mind me asking?”
*Rocky Mountain House,* he replied quickly.
“Where’s that?”
The warm smile and a quick shrug were her only answer as he turned his attention to the view, *It’s beautiful, isn’t it? Almost as pretty as the ones back home for colors and warmth.*
“I’m sure your girlfriend or significant other would agree,” Rogue replied neutrally.
A quick nod and a wink, *I know she does. She just doesn’t know it yet,* he signed quickly before reaching for a glass of water.
Giggling Rogue nodded, “So you’ll be enjoying Spain, France, Italy, and Greece with us, huh? Bet you’ll be getting plenty of souvenirs. She’ll want a ton, I’m sure.”
*She’s not really a materialistic person. Prefers the real stuff, the things the heart chooses over the things the pocketbook can afford,* he replied seriously even as he smiled slightly. *Much like someone else I know.*
“How long will we be staying in port this time?” Rogue wondered softly.
*I imagine it will be long enough,* the soft reply echoed through the air. *I’m sure you’ll have plenty to do while here.*
Rogue nodded and sipped at her drink. She would do some shopping, take plenty of pictures and enjoy herself as much as she could without thinking of Logan. Growling softly at herself she stared down at the table, missing the secretive smile on her companion’s face at the sound.
*Well, if you’d like some company on a walking tour, please let me offer my services. I’m sure there are many beautiful sights to see.*
Rogue nodded and smiled, grateful. “Yes, thank you, I think it would be a wonderful way to pass the afternoon away.”
With a nod he rose and waved slightly before slipping away down the stairs into the cabin of the boat. Watching him go she frowned slightly at the easy way he had of walking, the sure, confident steps that reminded her of something. She pushed those nagging thoughts aside and turned her attention to focusing on herself and not Logan. She still had a handful of ports to get over him, and she intended to make things work out for herself.
The sheer white curtains billowed out the window onto the balcony of the hotel suite as Rogue slipped outside into the crisp evening air. She shuddered at the slight chill in the air and wrapped her arms around herself, her eyes focused on the horizon as her mind raced.
It had been months since she’d had a nightmare of Logan’s, months since his memories had haunted her and yet tonight, the first night in Spain that is exactly what had happened. The memory of being sliced open and molten metal poured over exposed bone was nauseating, a living, breathing agony that even now awake she couldn’t shake.
Frowning Rogue tried to think about what it was that had triggered the nightmare. She’d spent the entire afternoon merely walking the old, cobblestone streets with Mr. Mustelidae, talking, laughing, and just enjoying the sights and sounds. She’d done a little shopping, not really caring for anything that the high priced shops had provided; instead she’d bought things from the sidewalk vendors, items that were more personal, more reflective of the receiver than the wallet.
When Mr. Mustelidae had escorted her back to the hotel, he’d paused outside her door, kissed her gently and walked off down the hallway. Rogue had stared after him, her stomach twisting into knots even as she slipped inside.
Groaning Rogue shook her head, “It was just a friendly kiss,” she muttered to herself. “It’s not like I betrayed Logan, we’re not even dating!”
Still the nagging, haunted feeling she always had after a nightmare didn’t fade, instead her stomach protested her words with a violent upheaval and a wave of nausea that had her running to the bathroom.
Sitting on the cold tile floor on a towel, Rogue shook her head as she leaned against the wall. She needed to be brutally honest with herself; she needed to face what was happening in her life. In her co-cruiser Mr. M she’d found someone she could talk to, someone who didn’t always turn away from emotions, rather he encouraged her to speak of her home, her friends, her life, and her dreams. He didn’t call her on her attraction to Logan, didn’t try to make her feel foolish about it and actually encouraged it – even if he had kissed her
Groaning she slapped her forehead and rested it against the cold porcelain of the toilet, “Oh God what am I doing?” she whispered tearfully, aware of the tiny little details she’d missed before like the butterflies in her stomach when he smiled at her, or the tingle she got through a glove when he touched her arm, her hand, put his hand on her lower back to usher her through a doorway and into a room. She’d been fighting an attraction to him and it sickened her, she *loved* Logan, she wouldn’t betray him like that.
~But you’re not betraying him. The man hasn’t even called you; he won’t admit he cares about you or nothing. Besides, it’s not like you’ve had sex with Mr. M, ~ the annoying little buzz of her conscience tickled at her mind.
“I love Logan, I shouldn’t be attracted to anyone,” Rogue moaned softly. “Oh God I have to face Mr. M in the morning, I have to talk to him.
~And tell him what? Hi, I’m attracted to you so we need to stop hanging out because I’m clinging to the memory of a man who doesn’t give a damn. ~
“Shut up,” Rogue hissed to herself, “It’s not like you’d know anything anyway.”
The sudden mental silence was more uncomfortable than the voices. With a quick shake of her head Rogue rose to her feet and padded into her bedroom to grab her cell phone. Dialing a now familiar number she waited for it to ring.
“Hello, Xavier’s School for the Gifted,” the tired sounding voice had Rogue cringing.
“Hello Mister Summers,” Rogue flopped down on her bed, “I’m sorry. I didn’t wake you, did I?”
“No,” Scott replied seriously, “I was up grading papers. What can I do for you, Rogue?”
“Just wanted to check in. I’m in Spain now; we’ll be leaving for France in the morning.”
“Are you enjoying your trip?”
“Yes and no,” Rogue sighed wondering just how much to tell him. “I miss everyone.”
“You mean you miss Logan,” there was a soft thread of understanding and laughter in his voice. “And that’s okay. You’ve been close to him for a really long time, Rogue; he’s saved your life. It’s okay to miss the man.”
“I don’t suppose..”
“Yes, he called. About an hour ago,” Scott admitted quickly, “Said to tell you that he’s been out in the boondocks and hasn’t had a chance to call before now. Said to tell you and I quote, ‘tell the kid I’m sorry, I miss her and hope she has fun’; end quote.”
Rogue grinned at that and shuddered happily, “At least he’s not mad at me.”
“He sounded tired if that’s any consolation.”
“It is, I’d better go, Mister Summers. Let you get back to your work.”
“Hey Rogue, I’m glad you’re doing this, that you’re taking this cruise. You need it.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve been so keen to please around here that you’ve forgotten who you are, who you’re supposed to be. This cruise gives you a chance to find out who you are again.”
Rogue nodded and sighed, “Perhaps, but right now it’s more confusing than anything.”
“But at least you’re making headway, right? I mean you’re not a tangled mess of voices like before.”
Rogue shrugged quickly, “I guess. Goodbye, Mister Summers.”
“Bye, Rogue,” Scott stated quickly.
Tossing the phone aside Rogue smiled, Logan had called and left a message for her. That must mean he cares, perhaps not as much as she’d like but it was a sign. Pulling the blankets up over her she snuggled down into bed and closed her eyes, she would have to find a way to control her attraction to the handsome man on board the boat. She couldn’t, wouldn’t, risk destroying any newfound ground with Logan.
From outside the suite’s door, the soft smile that played over his face showed more than a little emotional pleasure. Pushing away from the door, he stalked down the hallway, the lights illuminating worn jeans, white muscle shirt, heavy boots, and a large, worn buckle. The dark hair that was so closely tamed during the day was in disarray, the dark glasses so familiar during the day were gone, revealing dark eyes that were filled with laughter, and a softness, and pleasure. He still had time, still had ports of call to make before he went back. When he left he would leave her with the memory of a good time, and it was high time he turned up the heat.
Closing his room door he glanced at the phone by the bed and reached for it.
“Front desk,” the warm greeting drew a roll of the eyes but he settled on the bed anyway.
“I want a delivery done.”
“Certainly,” the woman’s voice agreed.
Frowning, he searched his mind until he grinned, “You got a flower shop?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good, I want a bouquet of Freesia, Huckleberry, Roses, make that Red Roses, Lilies and baby’s breath,” the order was ground out. “And I want them delivered no later than six am.”
“I will do my best.”
“You will deliver them,” he ground out, uncomfortable with the thought of ordering flowers in the first place. “No later than six am.”
“Yes, sir.”
Satisfied that his plan was going right along, he smirked and flopped back onto his bed. Glancing at the clock he grinned before reaching for the bottle of beer left sitting on the bedside table. Tomorrow was another day, and he would enjoy it, and enjoy her.
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