Rolling to a stop in the new truck he owned, Logan put it in park and sighed. It had been four months since Alkali Lake, four months of endless nightmares, and confusion. He'd left shortly after the services, he'd known that even if he wanted to stay he couldn't. He doubted if anyone would understand why he was happy about Jean's death.
Not that he didn't miss her, he did - the same as he'd miss Storm or God forbid even Wheels if anything were to happen, hell he'd even miss Scooter. No he was glad that it hadn't been Marie, that he'd had another chance to watch her, even if it was from a distance. And so he'd pulled out. Hit the road again following the fighting curcuit, the bars, hell even the booze until he'd pulled into this parking lot.
Sitting in the cab of his pickup staring at the blinking sign, "Express Bar and Grill," he read quickly and sighed. This place didn't look like the usual place for a cage fight but then what the hell it wasn't like he needed to fight tonight, naw he'd rather a beer and some solitude to the cluster of a fight.
Stalking inside he settled into a bench near the back of the place, the lighting was darker and more suited to his mood then anywhere else and he dug out a wad of bills.
"What'll it be sugah?" The low sultry tone had him jerking his head up to stare into the blue gaze of the waitress a tall, willowy woman with short red hair and a sexy smile.
"Beer." Logan grunted.
"Coors okay?"
"Molsen's better."
With a nod the waitress hurried off her hips swayin' enticingly. A moment later she was back with the bottle of beer and a glass.
"Take the glass," Logan grunted pushing it back toward her and raising the beer to his lips. He downed half of it in one swallow, before turning his head to stare out the window. God he missed her, missed the teasing way she said his name, the way she hugged him when he least expected it. Hell he'd started wishin' he was Bobby Drake the past few nights, merely cause the little prick had Marie's heart.
"Here," The soft even tone had him glancing sharply at the woman who'd plunked herself into the booth across from him.
"I ain't lookin' for company."
"Good. Cause I ain't sellin' company baby, I'm selling booze. Have a bourbon chaser," The woman pushed the glass toward him and leaned back in the booth. "They call me Camellion."
"Wolverine."
"You miss her a lot?"
"What's it to you?"
"Normally I'd say nothin' but this time well even I can see you're not happy. What the hell you doing in here if your heart's somewhere else?"
"You ever been in love?"
"Yeah."
"There's your answer."
"So tell me Wolverine, if you love her so much why didn't you stay?'
"Cause everyone figures I'm in love with another woman, " he paused, "I'm not but they think I am."
"The girl you're in love with what's she like?'
"A southern belle, beautiful, spirited, everything a man could want, and what I'll never deserve."
"You always so hard on yourself?"
"I'm a man without a past, she's got a whole future ahead of her we'd never work."
"Let me tell you something, that is a load of horse shit," Camilion declared as a waitress brought a glass of wine and two slices of cheesecake to the table, "You'll never work as long as you think that way."
"She's barely eighteen.."
"And you're how old?"
"Don't have a fuckin' clue."
Nodding Camilion sighed, "I was seventeen when I met the man of my dreams. I was hiding out from everything in this world in some dumpy little cabin in the middle of nowhere when this rough, tough lookin' guy stumbled upon me. Being as I'm a coward I told him I was a mutant, hoping it would scare him off. It didn't."
"There a point to this?"
"Yep, I spent two years tryin' to chase him off, and the last thirty trying to get him to stay. See it didn't take long before I realized something, I needed him. We were friends long before we were lovers, and now," she smiled over Logan's shoulder and he turned to see a tall, dark haired man staring at her with love in his eyes.
"Now?"
"Now I can't imagine life without him!"
"Then you've got it made," Logan growled turning his attention to the beer in his hand.
"What are you so scared of?" Camellion asked.
"Fuck," dragging a hand through his hair Logan stared at the bottle before him. He was way too confused to explain it to someone else, he could barely grasp it himself. He wasn't scared of much, but the thought of hurting Marie killed him, and he knew sooner or later that is exactly what he'd do.
"So she woke you up did she?" Camellion asked softly, "reached in with one tiny smile and stirred the embers of your soul. Woke the man sleeping within the animal, and now you're trying desperately to return to your slumber."
"It's safer, easier," Logan replied.
"Let me tell ya somethin' darlin'; there's a fine line between existing and living. And that line once you've crossed it you can't go back. Even if you could step back, step away from your feelings it would kill you in the end because you know what its like to taste life," leaning forward she stared at the bulky brooder, "take some free advice darlin' quit runnin' cause if you don't one day you're gonna have to pay the price and it's not going to be pretty."
"She's a kid," came the angry growl, "with a boyfriend her own age, friends who spend hours at the mall.."
"And a soul that completes yours," rising Camellion patted Logan on the shoulder. "Call her before you lose whatever you gained when you met her and end up a lonely, bitter shell."
With a snort Logan watched the woman walk away and turned his attention backto his beer, but his mind wouldn't let him sit idly there. He kept remembering what she'd said, "There's a fine line between existing and living. Once you've crossed that line you can't go back."
Three beers later and the last bite of his cheesecake, Logan rose and walked smoothly to the payphone, pulling out a calling card and staring at it as he reached for the phone.
"Just gonna call make sure she's okay," he grumbled to himself as he punched in the numbers and waited for it to ring.
"Good evening, Xavier's School for the Gifted." The familiar voice of Storm came on the line.
"Hey Storm," Logan sighed, he didn't want to talk to her.
"Logan?" Storm paused. "What on earth are you callin' for?"
"Is Rogue handy?"
"Sure," Storm replied and a moment later Rogue came on the line.
"Hello," Rogue's sultry accent made Logan smile, "This is Rogue."
"Hey kid," Logan said digging out one of his customary cigars. "How's it going?"
"Logan?" Rogue paused for a moment then scurried out of the common room and locked herself in the study. "Logan is it really you?"
"Yeah kid. You sound rushed, did I catch you at a bad time?"
"NO!" Rogue denied fiercely. "Just avoiding everyone."
"What happened?"
"Bobby and I had a fight. He said somethings to piss me off so I booted his ass to the curb."
Logan could hear the faint traces of pain in her voice and sighed. "Sorry kid, I know he meant something to ya."
"If he was really my friend he wouldn't have be so unrealistic."
"What do you mean?" Logan growled. "He hurt you? Cause if he did I'll come down there and let him now what adamantium can do to flesh."
"That's okay Logan. All he said was that I wasn't overly willing to experiment and take our relationship to the next level. Fuck if I wanted something to screw with I'd be less toxic."
"Baby he had it coming," Logan grinned at the thought of Rogue giving Bobby Drake what for.
"How about you? How are you doing?"
"Gettin' better every minute," Logan admitted.
"When you comin' home?"
"You want me to?"
"Yeah," Rogue's soft sigh seemed to echo in Logan's chest, "I want you Logan."
"I'll be home in a few days," he said after a brief pause, his soul taking in her words, common sense told him not to read too much into them but still his heart couldn't help it.
"Logan?"
"Yeah kid."
"I'm glad."
"So am I," Logan said softly, hanging up and standing there for a few more seconds. Maybe this was the first step in learning how to live, in how to do more than just exsist.
"Well?" The soft tone behind him had an eyebrow going up but he shrugged.
"Goin' home."
"Good," Camellion smiled at him, "Here, send me an invitation to the wedding," She said handing him a postcard with her address on it, "Have fun Wolverine, don't stop living."
With a smirk at the woman Logan pocketed the postcard and headed for the door he was due in Westchester in a couple of days and he planned on bein' there.
end
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