"Rogue? You got a minute?" Jean's soft voice had Rogue looking up from where she sat reading, her gloved fingers absently running over the tag that hung between her breasts.
"Sure Dr. Grey, what's up?" Rogue smiled easily at the other woman, who smiled back and sat down in a chair across from her. A quick glance at the clock revealed it was nearly one in the morning so the library - a favorite haunt of Rogue's when the nightmares got too bad- was guaranteed to be empty.
"How are you doing?"
"I'm doing good,"Rogue replied uneasily, something about the situation felt wrong, the Logan in her mind was on high alert.
Jean nodded and sighed, she'd watched Rogue fall deeper and deeper into a devotion to Logan that just wasn't healthy. Logan would never stop leaving, he would always be one step away and she wondered if Rogue knew that. She wondered if Rogue was aware that Logan would never want to be with a girl, not when he could have a woman.
"Has he called you?" she whispered softly, her eyes falling to the tag Rogue clutched before releasing and tucking under her nightgown.
"No," Rogue smiled. "But I didn't expect him to. This is Logan we're talkin' 'bout. Man probably doesn't have a clue about how to use a telephone!"
Jean laughed softly at the little joke then sobered and stared at Rogue, "You know I wondered about that. Wondered if he would call you, oh not that he's phoned any of us but you'd think.."
"He's doing what he has to," Rogue shot back shifting uneasily, fear darting into her eyes a moment before it was hidden behind a look of cool indifference. "For Logan finding his past is important."
"I know. Which is why I don't want you to get too attached to him."
"Why not?"
"Because Logan's always going to have one foot out the door. One eye on the road, and I know you care about him."
"But.." Rogue started only to stop when Jean shifted, pulling her robe tighter around her and looking steadily at her.
"Even if he did come back Rogue he isn't going to want you, not the way you want him to. To him you're just a kid.."
"I know how Logan sees me," Rogue whispered softly. "But he.."
"Isn't about to change his mind." Jean interrupted softly hoping her words weren't killing Rogue.
Glancing at the book in her hands, Rogue swallowed and shifted before nodding. Jean was right, to Logan she would never be anything but the kid, the girl he'd rescued time after time and there was no way around that. She could grow up all she wanted but she'd never be grown up enough for Logan.
"Are you sure he's going to want you?" Rogue asked and noted the flash of something in Jean's eyes and smiled coldly. "Are you? Because even I can see you want him."
"I very strongly doubt if Logan's going to come back," Jean whispered painfully. She didn't want to admit to anyone that Rogue was right, she did want Logan, she wanted the thrill of being with him and yet deep down she knew beyond a doubt she would never leave Scott. He was her anchor and she wouldn't leave him. "And we aren't discussing me."
Smiling Rogue shifted, rising to her bare feet and with the book clutched in one hand she turned and headed back for her room. "No, we aren't. We aren't discussing anyone. Good night Dr. Grey."
It was a long time before Jean went up to bed, her mind racing with the questions Rogue's comments had awoken.
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Dressing in her jeans, a long sleeved shirt, gloves, scarf and her heavy boots, Rogue grabbed her cloak and tossed a few items into her duffel bag before she glanced at her roommates and slipped soundlessly out the door.
Stepping out into the cool night air she took a deep breath and glanced behind her before slipping further into the shadows, it didn't matter where she went. After all, she'd only been stickin' around in the hope that Logan would come back to her, unfortunately Jean was right. Logan wouldn't want a girl he couldn't touch, a girl he would never really see as a woman. If he came back it would be for the tags, and the tags alone.
Feeling a single tear roll down her face she reached up to clasp the objects in her hand and smiled, she would take them with her when she went. After all he'd given them to her, not to Jean and there was no point in leaving them with her!
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The cold of the wind blew through her thin clothes and Rogue shivered even as she heard the familiar sound of a diesel engine gearing down and saw the massive hulk of a new Kenworth rolling to a stop a few feet from her.
Sighing she hurried to the door and pulled it open, "Hey."
"You need a lift kid?" the driver asked, a small, delicately featured woman asked with a grin.
"Sure, where you heading?"
"Right now? Horseshoe Bay on the west coast. Where you headed?"
"Wherever the truck is," Rogue grinned as she climbed up and threw her duffel back beside the seat before slamming the door shut and shifting as the truck rolled into motion. Glancing out the window at the rapidly growing snow storm Rogue swallowed a sigh, she'd been on the road now for a couple of months and she'd managed to get into Ontario but that's where the rides had ended, most of the short hauls were only a few days on the road and she wasn't one for sitting around a truck stop.
Sure it was a good place to get a ride, but it was also a good place to become a target, a trophy that someone wanted, she'd learnt that fact the first time before Logan had saved her. Instead she'd taken to walking and silently cursing the weather, her mutation, Jean, everyone and everything but the Logan in her head and the damn metal tags that hung around her neck.
Only one fool had tried to take them from her, one poor soul who had spent two days in the back of his rig nursing his wounds and cursing mutants.
"I'm Longhaul by the way," the woman offered her hand.
"Rogue," with a quick shake, Rogue looked at the woman. "You don't seem the type to be driving a rig."
"Appearances can be deceiving," Longhaul declared with an easy grin. "See right off the bat I can tell two things about you, one you're running. Don't know from what, don't much care. And two, a little as you are I can't see you taking out a big guy like Reefer back there.."
Rogue started at the mention of the trucker who'd threatened to take Logan's tags and reached for them just to make sure they were still around her throat, "Had no choice."
"Didn't say otherwise," Longhaul declared easily and eyed the hardware around the girl's neck. She'd seen those before, hell she wore a set under her clothes. "So you go by Rogue huh? Funny but your tag says your name's.."
"Its not my tag," Rogue whispered and turned her head away from the woman to stare out the door.
With an easy grin Longhaul nodded, "I figured that. You don't look like you spent time in a lab."
Rogue shifted, jerking her head around so fast she was surprised it stayed on her shoulder as the woman shifted gears smoothly, "How'd you know he'd been in a lab?"
"Its not a regular army tag," Longhaul declared. "Its for some serious shit that they were going to use Mutants for. Turn 'em into weapons or something.."
"And you know this because?"
Longhaul smiled suddenly and winked, "Cause I was there at one point. For a very brief time about twelve years ago. And before you ask no, I'm not going to talk about it."
"That's okay, I can probably guess what happened," Rogue whispered rubbing her head. The Logan in her head hadn't shut up his growling since she'd left the mansion and each night he paced in her dreams, growling, snarling, pleading. Trying to get her to go back, to return to where he'd left her - only she didn't listen so he kept up a steady growl during the day, one that was soft enough for her to be able to think, but persistent enough for her to know he was there.
"Headache?"
"Naw," Rogue sighed leaning her head against the head rest, "A friend just won't shut up."
"Sometimes its hard to get your friends to be quiet, I got a lot of 'em," Longhaul pointed to the radio, "And most of 'em are nice people, I'd trust any and all of 'em in a fight."
Rogue nodded, "I like him being up there," she whispered. "Means he's with me. I got part of him no one else will ever have."
"You miss him a lot don't you?"
"I've been missing him for a very long time," Rogue whispered thinking about it. She'd started missing him the first time she'd run from the school, missed him when he'd ran, she was still missing him.
"If you're tired you can bunk down on the bed back there. Its small but comfortable and no charge."
"Thanks," Rogue smiled tiredly as she scrambled into the back, her gaze darting around quickly. Yep it was empty, and the bed did look inviting.
"Before you bunk down, you think you could toss me a can of pop? I just don't want to pull over to grab one."
"Sure," Rogue handed the trucker a can of coke and kicked off her boots before crawling into the bunk and rolling over to lay on her back, her fingers pulling the tags away from her throat so she could stare at them. "I sure miss you, Logan." she thought before tucking them away and closing her eyes, rolling over so her back was to the windshield, within minutes she was sound asleep.
"Hey Longhaul you out there?" the familiar crackle of the CB coming on had the driver smiling.
Grabbing the handset she pulled it down from its hook, "That you Goliath?"
"You betcha sugar, hows it going?"
"Good. On the ETC right now, just outside of some dinky little town in the middle of nowhere."
"You gonna stop in for the fights?"
"Now why the fuck would I do that?"
"Some mutant's been kicking ass and making a ton of money," Goliath replied. "Went to see him and he's something else."
"Mutant? Goliath you and this fascination with the fights," she laughed. "Where and when?"
"There's one tonight at a little roadside bar called Patti-Jack's, just off ETC. Come to think of it, that might be the dinky little town you're rollin' into now."
"Its goin' ta throw me off schedule."
"I ain't worried 'bout it. Highway is closed from Barrie onward. This'll be more entertaining."
"Yeah I get yelled at I'm coming for your ass," Longhaul promised.
"Fuck baby, you don't need to wait for that. You want me, y'know where I am."
Shaking her head Longhaul hung up the radio and hit the signal to pull off into the upcoming truck stop slash bar. "Hey Rogue, looks like we're stopping here for a bit, you wanna come in with me?"
"Won't we run into trouble?" Rogue asked softly as she crawled out of the bunk and glanced around.
"Nothin' I can't handle," Longhaul declared. "Besides, there's a fight tonight."
"Really?" Rogue perked up at that thought and smiled, maybe Logan was fighting. Course she'd have to be careful not to let him see her, but she didn't think that would be too hard. Places like this it was easy to get lost in the crowd.
"Yeah, buddy of mine recommended we stop in and watch it," Longhaul said taking her spare keys with her and leaving the truck running as she hopped down and pulled her winter coat around her shoulders. Noting the way Rogue was hunched over with only her cloak on she smiled and jerked it off, "Here, you look like you could use this a lot more than me."
"Thank you," Rogue said following Longhaul inside, her gaze scanning the parking lot looking for Scott's bike with no luck.
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An hour later, Longhaul was hurrying with Rogue back to her truck, her mind on her schedule again. The fights had been brutally short and mercifully bloodless something Rogue had been glad of even as she stared at the man who won time and again, naked longing in her eyes.
Climbing into the warmth of the cab she waited while Longhaul fueled up, munching on the chips that she found on the floor of the cab and smiling softly to herself. He hadn't seen her, of that she was certain, if he had of he'd have come over to her wanting answers. Instead he'd fought hard, won enough money to live on for a month and when the crowd swallowed them up, she'd been glad of it. Meant that he wouldn't know how close she'd been to him.
"Well lets get rolling," Longhaul said pulling out and glancing at Rogue who sat smiling softly, her fingers playing with her tags. "They're his aren't they?"
"Yes," Rogue whispered softly and glanced up at her. "It was a good fight."
"Goliath's gonna be pissed he missed it," Longhaul drawled as she pulled out onto the highway the truck rolling and pitching in the potholes that made up the parking lot. "I swear that man follows the circuit like a bloodhound follows scent. Next stop we'll pull off so you can shower and such."
Smiling Rogue fell silent, turning her attention back to her bag of pilfered chips, a warmth settling in her stomach even as she stared at the crumpled bag, her mind wandering to the man she'd seen that night.
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With a furious growl Logan watched the crowd as they thinned out, until he was alone sitting at the bar. He'd smelt her, not just a phantom scent, not just a wishful thinking scent but an honest to god, Rogue-was-right-here smell. Mixed with her smell was another woman's and that bothered him no end. What the fuck was Rogue doing in Ontario? What reason would she have had to run, and not to come to him? Course from every clue she'd left before he'd finished his last fight, probably so she wouldn't miss her ride.
Ordering a beer he glared at the television behind the bar for a few seconds, "You got a phone around here?"
"Yeah," the bartender an older woman pulled out one from behind the bar and plunked it down before Logan. "No long distance.."
"Yeah, whatever," Logan snarled and punched in the number.
"Xavier's School for the.." Storm's familiar voice did little to ease the slow burn of Logan's ire.
"Where is Chuck?" the low snarl interrupted Storm's voice and there was a few seconds of silence on the line.
"Hello Logan. He's in his office.."
"Get him," Logan growled and waited impatiently.
"Charles here," the soft, smooth voice had Logan shifting on the stool. "What's wrong Logan?"
"Would you like to explain to me why the fuck my girl is here?" Logan snarled angrily.
"Your girl? Do you mean Rogue?"
"I don't have any other girl," Logan snapped. "She was here tonight, left with a trucker.."
"I don't know," Charles replied apologetically. "She left several months ago.."
"Months ago? And you couldn't send me a mental telegraph saying Rogue just up and left? I left her there for a reason. That reason was to keep her from having to deal with this shit and instead she's hitchin' rides.."
"Logan I've been trying to find her, but she's developed a method of avoiding my telepathy."
"You'd better pray she's okay when I catch up with her," Logan warned. "And someone had better have a damn fuckin' good reason for her leaving or things are going to get shredded!" Slamming the phone down he downed his beer and stalked to the door.
Jerking it open he glanced around, there was no way of telling which direction she'd gone in but if he had to wager a guess it would have been west. Something told him she wasn't running from him, just running again and he would find out why.
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By the third day on the road with Longhaul, Rogue was making herself useful. When they stopped in Moosejaw at a huge truck stop Rogue offered to fuel up and was rewarded with a quick smile.
"Naw, that's what they're here for," Longhaul gestured to the pock marked face of a teenager who was walking toward them. "You want a shower?"
"Would kill for one," Rogue admitted. She felt dirty, like she had soaked in beer, smoke, and sweat. Grabbing her duffel bag she dug through it to grab a change of clothes and hopped out of the truck.
"No need to kill for it," Longhaul grinned. "Come on, you can use the shower first. They know I'm on this route and were nice enough to give me a private shower."
"Sounds good," Rogue said stepping inside the room and locking the door after checking to make sure it was unoccupied. Stripping down she stepped under the hot spray and sighed, the pounding water felt good and she quickly washed up, before washing her hair. With it still wet and hanging in tangled locks around her face she dressed quickly, pulling on a black t-shirt and jeans.
Moving out of the room she smiled at Longhaul who was standing talking to another trucker. When Longhaul smiled back at her and nodded, Rogue glanced away from the man and headed for the counter. She still had enough for a coffee, and she dug it out of her pocket.
"Coffee please," she said settling on a stool.
"So you're the girl Longhaul's been dragging around huh?" the man said settling on the next stool.
"Yeah," Rogue said taking her coffee and sipping on it. She hated coffee most of the time but lately it was all she wanted.
"Goliath," the man offered his hand and she reached out to shake it without blinking when he eyed her glove. "I'm the fight fanatic."
"You follow the circuit?" she asked eying the man. He was huge, nearly the same size as Sabertooth, and he didn't look fat. He was lean, with a barrel chest and huge arms. A dusty, worn ball cap sat perched upon red hair and his green eyes sparkled with laughter.
"Yep, know every stop it makes, every fighter that sticks with it," Goliath replied quickly. "Even got my favorites. Why you like the fights?"
"Been to a few," Rogue replied softly, noncommital. Indeed she'd been to a couple, both of them had featured Logan and the last one had made the ache worse. She missed him more now than ever before because she knew how easy it was to be close to him.
"So you got a favorite?" Goliath asked eying the girl who had reached up to finger a tag. Reading it he frowned, it looked a little battered for someone so young.
"Hey sugar, ya just having coffee?" the soft question had both of them glancing up at Longhaul who stood there eying Rogue's coffee.
"Uh yeah, ain't got the money for anything else," Rogue acknowledged with a shrug. "Don't worry about it. I got some jerky in my bag."
"You keep eatin' that shit and you're going to turn into jerky," Longhaul declared smacking Goliath on the arm to get him to move. "Order something hot."
"Don't you listen?" Goliath asked noting the uneasy look on the girl's face, "She said.."
"I heard her," Longhaul said sinking onto the stool and waving a hand to catch the waitress's attention, "Menus please."
"I ain't got the money to pay for something hot," Rogue replied sharply.
"I'm buying lunch," Longhaul shot back. "If you're that worried about it you can pay me back by doing that fuckin' paperwork that's still sitting in the cab."
Goliath grinned at the pair, "I'm off ladies. Got a run to finish."
"See you on the flip side baby," Longhaul said as he walked away. Taking the menu from the waitress she looked it over then tossed it aside and glanced at Rogue who hadn't lifted hers at all.
"Two BLTs on white," she ordered quickly and shifted. "Those nightmares of yours seem pretty rough," she whispered softly. She'd been driving along listening to a cd when Rogue had sat up screaming like she was being murdered.
"It wasn't my nightmare, it was his."
"I'd have to argue. Seems to me if you're the one having it, it becomes yours."
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Didn't think so," Longhaul said sitting there eating in silence as the waitress brought their meals. Watching Rogue devour her lunch Longhaul shook her head, they'd have to stop at the local grocery store on their way out of town.
An hour later Rogue was storing the food in the cupboards and fridge as Longhaul got the truck rolling. "I think you bought enough to get you there and back."
"Enough for a few days," Longhaul replied as Rogue joined her up front.
"You and Goliath seem close."
"We've been friends forever, were even lovers once or twice."
"You don't seem too bothered about him being with someone else.."
Longhaul smiled, "I trust him with my life. Its not exactly easy being a mutant on a good day. With Goliath I don't have to worry about whether he's after sex, or out to hurt me. He just is. Our relationship will never be what most folks consider normal," Longhaul checked the road and pulled out into the slight traffic.
"So why don't you tell him..?"
"That I love him?" Longhaul shrugged, "He knows. We both know though that anything permanent, long term wouldn't work between us."
"Why not?"
Longhaul sighed and glanced at Rogue, wondering briefly if the truth would be too harsh then figuring she would probably have a good idea what she meant anyway, "Because neither of us is the stickin' around type. We have a good thing cause we both know how to let go, how to let the other be who they are. You can't hold onto someone who needs to be free, because if you do hang on. If you hold them so tightly they can't breath in the end it'll kill them, and your relationship."
"Maybe I was right then," Rogue sighed looking out the window. "Maybe by leaving he'll understand I want him to be happy."
"Did you tell him you wanted him to be happy?"
Smiling Rogue shook her head, "No. I'm not the only one that runs. Logan left a long time ago, I just couldn't deal with the fact that the woman he loves pities me."
"Pardon?"
"Logan's in love with Doctor Grey," Rogue whispered softly. "She's a woman, and I'm never going to be anything more than a girl. The girl he picked up in Canada and saved, time and again before he walked away."
Pausing Rogue shifted, plucking at her jeans, "Its hard you know. Hard to look in someone's eyes and see the same longing, see the need for the one person you love above all others and know that he feels the same way about her. I stuck it out for as long as I did because I thought maybe he'd realize I was grown up, that I wasn't that girl anymore." Laughing harshly, Rogue swallowed her tears. "She was right though. He will never see me as more than a responsibility."
Longhaul tilted her head slightly, there was a lot of pain in the young woman sitting beside her. A lot of it was her own but there was other's pain in there as well. "You absolutely sure that he loves her?"
"Oh yeah, he told her he did himself," Rogue acknowledged sadly. "He didn't come right out and say I love you, but he told her his heart belonged to her. And it pisses me off cause she's already got a guy, what does she need with mine? "
"Maybe she just likes the attention," Longhaul said. "Maybe she needs it to feel complete. Who knows about these things but I do have to say you're a lot more mature than some. You left before you could get hurt even more than you already did. A lot of women in your position would stick it out, try to compete. It never works, you can't make someone love you."
"Its like that song said, you can lead a heart to love, but you can't make it fall. I'm so tired of this, so tired of hurting," Rogue stated softly, her hand rubbing her head. "He's still up there, still growling at me to go back but I can't. I know he worries about me, but I can't.."
Smiling sadly Longhaul nodded. "You have to let him go Rogue."
"I don't have him.." Rogue whispered tightening her grip on the tag uneasily.
"All of him," Longhaul said looking pointedly at the tag, "Let him fly Rogue, you can't hold him down. You aren't a responsibility to someone, you're a young woman with a lot of living to do. Let him go."
Blinking Rogue shook her head, "These pieces of metal are the only things I have of his. I can't let them go, I can't let go of them."
"Sometimes its hard to let go but you have to. Send them back to him, give yourself a chance to forget the past, a chance to look ahead. You keep living in the moment, keep hanging onto those things it's only going to tie you down."
Nodding Rogue struggled with the tears she could feel gathering, burning her eyes. "You're right."
"Lucky me," Longhaul declared as Rogue fell silent, her face turning to stare out the window of the cab. It didn't take a genius to know that the girl was sobbing softly, that her tension had little to do with the scenery and everything to do with the fact that she was letting go.
"How long till we reach Horseshoe Bay?"
"'Bout another week, if we don't hit another snow storm."
"Where you headed from there? Back east?"
"Hard to say. You want to go another direction?"
"I don't know," Rogue whispered. "I'd like to just sit and think, y'know? Take some time for me."
"Well you're more'n welcome to stay at my apartment."
"Where's that?"
"Little place outside of Vancouver. I'll drop you off there, and you can relax for a while, decide what you're going to do."
"Thanks."
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The remainder of the trip was done mostly in silence, Rogue spent the time staring out of the window her mind whirling with confusion. She wanted to keep the tags, wanted to keep what little bit of him she had but she realized that she needed to severe all links to him, to the past. It was time to move on, time to quit dreaming about him coming for her and telling her he loved her, and only her.
When Longhaul pulled up in front of a small mansion, Rogue raised an eyebrow but didn't say a word. "My apartment's on the bottom floor. As soon as you go in, take a sharp right. Here's the key to the door, feel free to stay as long as you like. I should be back through sometime tomorrow but I won't be staying."
"Thank you again."
Longhaul shrugged and handed her the keys, "Don't thank me. You're the one with some tough choices to make."
"Yeah I know," Rogue hopped out of the cab and closed the door, watching until the rig had faded into the growing darkness before heading inside. Stepping into the foyer of Longhaul's apartment Rogue dropped the bag and walked around, searching for something.
"Just let him go," she whispered painfully as she pulled the tags off and stared at them, sinking onto the couch without a thought. "Let him be free." Closing her eyes as the tears fell, she shook her head. "I have to, I can't hold onto him when he doesn't deserve to be tied down."
With her decision made, Rogue curled up onto the couch and pulled the blanket off the back down over her, crying herself into a troubled sleep.
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Roaring into the mansion Logan parked Scott's bike in the garage, his steps furious, his body tense. He'd lost Rogue just after Moosejaw, and if the truckers knew where she was, they sure as shit weren't talking.
Slamming the door as he stomped into the mansion he headed for Chuck's office. With any luck he had found her, of course that meant that Logan would have to back track to catch her but he was beyond caring.
"Hello," Jean's soft voice barely had him faltering.
"Not now Doc," Logan snarled as he stalked past her. Without knocking he jerked open the door to the professor's office and stepped inside, not really surprised to see Scott in there kissing ass.
"Logan!" Scott rose smoothly, shock clearly written on his face.
"You find her yet?"
"I found her but lost her again. She's somewhere on the west coast."
"Narrow it down," Logan snarled ignoring Scott.
"I can't Logan. Rogue obviously does not want to be found."
"She's running scared, you think of that?" Logan snapped crossing his arm over his chest.
"I think you need to calm down," Scott said firmly.
"Stow it One Eye, I'm not in the mood," Logan growled his knuckles going red then white from the pressure of his claws that were itching to come out.
"Rogue knows how to contact us, if she wants to be found.." Charles started.
"She doesn't know what the fuck she wants right now. One of you prick's said something cause she sure as shit wouldn't have just run off. Rogue keeps her word."
"Logan.." Scott snapped just as the door popped open and Jean stuck her head in.
"Sorry to bother you but there's a semi pulling in."
"Semi?" Charles frowned, "We aren't expecting a delivery."
Following Charles out into the hall Logan was half a step behind him as they approached the front door just as Storm pulled it open after the doorbell peeled.
Charles stared at the boyish figure that stood on the other side, a cocky grin on the young woman's face as she eyed Storm. Her hair had recently been done, it hung in disarray around her face and her jeans hugged her hips, a loose chambray shirt was tucked into the jeans and heavy hikers covered her feet.
"Hi," Storm stared at the young woman. "Can I help you?"
A low growl had everyone glancing at Logan who eyed the woman with thinly veiled fury.
"Nice to see you to," the woman said reaching into her pocket and pulling something out even as she stepped over the threshold. Tossing it at Logan she wasn't surprised to see him catch it with deceptive ease.
"What the fuck is this?"
"Open it and see," the woman replied crossing her arms over her chest.
Logan scowled, trying to place the scent. It was familiar and suddenly he tensed his claws coming out as he realized where it had come from, "She left with you."
"Sure she did," the woman replied looking unimpressed by Logan's deductions. "She came in with me, she rode out with me. I think she said there was a note in there, wanted me to drop it in the mail. Figured that would take too long so I brought it by myself."
Stepping past Charles, Logan stalked toward the woman who shifted, taking on a defensive stance but she didn't back down. "Where is she?"
"What do you care?" Longhaul snapped, catching sight of a red haired woman joining them. "You got what you want, let it lay."
"I won't ask again," Logan warned as he glanced at the package in his hand. Flipping it over he made short work of the paper and stared at the small box in his hand. Opening it he swore profusely, his tags lay on a slip of folded paper. "Where is she?"
"I wouldn't tell you if you were the last man on this earth," Longhaul replied. "You did more than enough already. Go play with your doctor," Whirling she stalked toward the door. "If Rogue wants you to know where she is, she'll let you know. Although I strongly doubt that she's going to do that, nothing like a clean break," Opening the door she glanced at Logan, noting the leashed fury in his body and sighed. Fuckin' guy had no idea what he'd done, he didn't know he'd destroyed her at all.
"Logan?" Charles asked softly.
"Its my tags," Logan muttered and stalked out the door headed for where the woman was digging a set of keys out of her pocket. Grabbing her he slammed her against the fender of the rig and held her there. "I want to know where she is."
"I am not scared of you," Longhaul snapped struggling in his grasp. "How many ways do you want me to say this, I will not tell you. I have no intention of revealing anything about her whereabouts."
"You will if you value your hide."
"You can't hurt me," Longhaul drawled.
"Just tell me where she is," Logan ground out.
"No. Go back to your little doctor friend. She needs to let go, and you following her isn't going to do that."
"I am not going to.."
"She doesn't want to hurt anymore," Longhaul snapped breaking Logan's grip and shoving him back a step. "You think she wants to come back and watch you and Dr. Grey carrying on? I don't think so, personally I think she should have just kicked your sorry ass to the curb a long, long time ago but there's no accounting.."
"I need her," Logan ground out. "You realize that I can find out?"
"Then do it, but I ain't going to tell on her." Whirling Longhaul jerked open the door to the cab and started up the step to her seat.
"Please, I have to know where she is," Logan stared at the woman who froze and sighed.
"I got her a job at an office in Millstone, its half an hour northwest of Vancouver. She works Monday, Wednesday, and Friday nine to five," Longhaul whispered hearing something in the man's voice that she'd never heard before - desperation laced with pain. For all his faults, Logan was very much in love with Rogue and maybe, just maybe there was a chance.. She let her thought trail off as she answered softly before climbing into the cab.
"Name of the office?"
"Millstone Omega International. I drive for them, she's answering phones and such," Longhaul glanced at Logan, noting the quick flash of something in his eyes. "It won't do you any good. She won't come back."
"Coming back isn't important," Logan muttered under his breath. "Being with her is."
"How'd you know it was me?" Longhaul asked suddenly.
"Your smell, I could smell you on Rogue."
"She was wearing my coat. Damn kid didn't have hardly enough clothes on."
"She's a southern girl, never did wear a lot of clothes even when it was freezing," Logan whispered and whirled around to stalk to the garage.
"Logan?" Longhaul sighed, "Don't do this if its just cause you made a promise. She doesn't want to be a burden to you, and you can't live with that sort of burden on your soul."
"Its none of your fuckin' business."
"No, no it isn't," Longhaul shot back as the red head stepped out onto the porch. "But I know where she's coming from. You can't expect her to want to be here, to be around and watch everything she's ever wanted crumble around her ears," she glanced pointedly at the woman on the porch watching them.
Logan shot a glance at Jean then back at the woman, "She doesn't enter into this."
"Doesn't she?" Longhaul shrugged and finished crawling into the cab. "If that's the case, and I hope it is - for both your sakes, send me an invitation. Rogue's got my address."
"Whatever," Logan snarled and stomped off toward the bike. Remembering it was low on fuel he opted instead to take the four by four, the pass in Alberta and BC was still mired in several feet of snow, and there was more slated to come calling.
"Logan where are you going?" Jean asked softly as she caught him about to get into the jeep.
"After Rogue," Logan ground out. "Why?"
"Don't, don't give her false hopes," Jean pleaded softly, catching his arm. "We both know you don't want her.."
"I am going to get Rogue," Logan ground out brushing her hand off his arm. "After that I don't know, depends on what she wants. Me? I wouldn't come back here if you paid me."
Watching the jeep pull out of the garage as the semi pulled out onto the highway, Jean shook her head. Logan and Rogue were both in for some heartache. Logan didn't understand that Rogue had cut him loose, cut him away from her, and Rogue, well she had always understood that she was just the "Kid" to Logan.
"You're wrong," Charles's soft voice had her glancing sharply at him. It was a rarity that he would sneak up on her like he had.
"About what?"
"Them," Charles sighed. "Logan and Rogue aren't two individuals - they're a team, a unit. You can't have one without the other."
"He's going to hurt her."
"No, he won't," Charles replied softly. "Because he can no more hurt her than he can kill himself. And he's thought of it, rather a lot lately. You have to let go."
Standing there long after Charles went back inside Jean wondered if he understood what he was asking of her, because she sure as heck didn't.
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Sliding out the front door Rogue shook her head, it was nice to have a regular job but it sure wasn't fun. She hated dealing with the truckers that came through, the ones that didn't think anything wrong with hitting on her. And the fact that the man she'd laid out cold so long ago had popped in this morning did little to ease her exhaustion.
He'd threatened to make her sorry, threatened to come back and while it terrified her at the possibilities, she was too busy to worry about it for long. Instead she pushed it to the back of her mind, and focused on checking over the forms, answering the phones and running an office all by herself.
Striding across the parking lot she headed for home, her shoulders hunched against the cold misty rain that fell even as her mind wandered to thoughts of Logan. It had been nearly a month since Longhaul had promised to drop the tags and letter into the mail - a month of endless nights spent dreaming of Logan, and hard days of work and struggling to keep it together.
Seeing a jeep rolling by Rogue sighed, it looked familiar but she shook it off. Everything looked familiar to her to some extent and she figured it was just cause she'd seen it before. Striding across the street she headed up the sidewalk toward the small apartment she'd been lucky enough to snag.
With her head down, and her shoulders hunched she didn't see the huge frame that blocked her path a few feet away, or how close he was to the alley. Had she, she might have been a bit better prepared.
The sudden shuffling of feet drew her attention a moment before a gloved hand slammed down, clamping itself onto her upper arm. Before she could react, before she could even scream she was being drug backwards into the alley, a hand over her mouth to stop her from screaming.
Struggling as hard as she could she bit down hard, wincing at the sudden acrid taste of blood even as she felt the blow land on the side of her face, dazing her momentarily. Blinking furiously trying to clear her mind she barely felt the hard grip tighten around her arm, or the way the world tilted, upending so that she was laying flat on her stomach her face pressed mercilessly into the gravel of the alley with a knee on her back.
The sound of fabric tearing forced her to move, to renew her struggles as she fought desperately to keep his skin from making contact with hers. She didn't want him in her head, didn't want to know his kind of insanity. With each struggle, with each blow she struck he'd strike back, beating her even as she fought harder, desperation giving her strength.
Suddenly past the roaring in her head, she heard another set of boots crunching on gravel and sobbed low, no! Not another one! Getting one hand beneath her she pushed with all her might, focusing on the growling in her head, the traces of Logan that she still had and renewed her struggle.
With the sudden absence of weight on her she scrambled forward, getting to her feet and running only to stumble and fall, her gaze settling on the grey strip of sidewalk she could clearly see.
With a snarl Logan dropped the bastard on the ground, and glanced around. Marie was struggling to her feet a stride or two up the alley, heading further into the darkness than out of it and he hurried to her.
The rage he'd felt when he'd seen that prick grab her off the street had filled him quickly and he'd barely let the jeep stop rocking on its shocks before he'd been racing across the street, running down the alley.
Only the thought that Marie needed him had kept him from using the claws, so he'd restricted himself to breaking the fucker's skull. "Baby?" he whispered softly as she flinched away from his touch.
Eying her torn and bloody clothes Logan jerked off his coat and wrapped it around her despite her weak struggles. Picking her up he headed back for his wheels even as a large, imposing figure stepped into the alley.
"What the fuck's goin' on?" the male voice was low, angry.
Logan growled low, but didn't stop. If it was a buddy of the bastard's he'd just kick his ass. When the prick stepped into his path, Logan shifted Rogue's form closer to him and eyed the other man. "Move on," he growled low, his flesh tearing slightly as the claws started to come out.
"Whatcha do to her?"
"Nothin',"Logan ground out and stalked past the man toward his jeep. Hearing him following Logan deposited Rogue into the jeep, via the driver's door which still hung open before turning to face the oncoming threat.
"Look buddy," the stranger started even as Logan shifted stance, his body tensing and his claws coming all the way out.
"Move on bub," Logan growled again cracking his neck easily.
Goliath stared at the stranger and frowned, he'd seen Reefer grab Rogue and moved to help her only to see the stranger react faster, and from where he'd been standing watching, with more deadly force than was necessary - but it had saved Rogue.
The soft moan from inside the jeep had Logan shifting, turning most of his attention to Rogue who had shifted, and leaning precariously against the door.
"Shh, baby. I got you," Logan whispered reaching out to trail a hand through her hair. Jerking off his glove he touched her face, wincing at the pull for a few seconds before pulling away from her. Healing her too quickly could cause more problems than it would solve. Besides he wanted to be somewhere he could pass out safely if he needed to before then.
"Logan?" Rogue's soft whisper drew a pained smile.
"Yeah baby, I'm here."
"She wasn't supposed to take them to you," the soft pained whisper echoed in Logan's ears.
"Wouldn't have mattered. The minute I smelled you in that bar I was looking for you," Logan replied and with a dark glare at the man who stood staring into the alley he slammed the door and hit the gas. "Where you staying?"
"Just up the street," Rogue whispered shakily, her entire body trembling. "The Oceanside Apartments, 2C."
Following directions Logan took Rogue in the back way, carrying her up to her apartment and locking the door behind him. Settling her on the couch he quickly investigated the rooms, a massive claw footed tub sat in one corner behind a curtain and he made for it, drawing her a hot bath easily.
Returning to the couch he stripped her quickly, his gloves back in place before depositing her in the tub and kneeling next to it. Soothing her with soft whispers and easy touches he washed away the mud and blood before he jerked off a glove and pressed his exposed skin to her face.
"Trust me," he whispered softly as the power switched on and the bruises, cuts, and scrapes started to fade into nothing.
Feeling the exhaustion Logan pulled away and with a quick move picked her out of the tub and carried her to the bed. After drying her off quickly he slid her under the sheets and settled next to her, letting his face rest against hers so the bare skin touched a little when they moved.
By morning they'd both be back in top condition, with only memories of the evening to haunt them.
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Cupping her mug of hot coffee, Rogue stared out the window glancing back over her shoulder periodically to see Logan still sleeping on her bed. He'd risked a lot to save her, but the memories, the thoughts she'd acquired this time had confused her.
The knowledge that he'd started looking for her after he'd smelt her in the bar in Ontario created an ache in her chest. Her thoughts had run rampant until his had forced hers to quiet down and she'd sorted through them. All the money, the fights, the nights alone had all been because of her. He'd run from her, not from his feelings about Jean, not because of his past but because he'd been terrified of his feelings about her.
One thought had surfaced time and again, no matter what he wasn't going back to the mansion, not without his Marie, his girl. That thought had eased the ache, helped to make her feel a little better about what had happened. The fact that his tags had appeared around her neck sometime during the night had only solidified the thoughts.
For Logan his life, his sense of self worth was wrapped up within the danger of her poisonous skin, her heart, and mind. He would risk everything, anything to save her, to bring her back to him – give up everything – even his past, his habits, his sins to make her want him.
Smiling softly Rogue set her cup down and moved back to the bed where she sat on the edge, over the sheet and trailed a gloved hand down his face, "Morning sugar," she whispered softly.
"Mmm Morning," Logan shifted slightly before blinking his eyes and glancing at her, "How you feelin'?"
"Like your woman," Rogue replied softly, "Silly man running from me like that."
"Had no choice," Logan grunted as he sat up against the pillows. "I couldn't…"
"No more running Logan, not for me, not for you. Neither of us can survive without the other, we're not really alive unless we're together. So why don't we just stick together, we can face anything as long as we're together Logan, we can save each other."
Logan stared at her for a moment, "Can you honestly say that you don't mind that reality? Tying ourselves together means you're gonna have a real long life, you're never gonna have the stability, the perks of life at the mansion.."
"But I'll have you," Rogue stated calmly eying him, "And that's worth more to me than anything Chuck could possibly offer me. I'd rather spend an eternity with you than a day without – and you feel the same way."
Logan sighed as he rubbed a hand down his face before facing her squarely, "I know I do, just wanted to make sure you did."
Rogue smirked at him, "Glad you gave me back my tags, sugar, neck was feeling kinda exposed without 'em."
Logan chuckled as he reached for her, "Your tags huh? I think I can live with that."
Giggling softly Rogue let him pull her back into the blankets and sheets, his hands tracing over her curves through her clothes, she loved him, and she knew, KNEW down deep that he loved her enough to make this work.
The end.
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