“I think I’m going to be sick…”

It had been perfect. Tender, loving and passionate. Everything they both had craved for nearly two decades. Just two of them, becoming one feeling creature, amalgam of sweat slicked skin, heat and hushed whispers. Soft caresses, small moans and gasps. Both of them relaxed, exhausted, but immensely satisfied afterwards. They had fallen asleep, still joined together, cradling each other.

Dream had taken him by surprise. Strapped down to a cool metal table, surrounded by inky darkness. Blinking lights closing in from above. Low hum echoing in his ears, steady, relentless pull tugging in his lower abdomen. Voices around him. Pen on paper. Men talking about the procedure.
“We could increase the power. Test the full capacity of sperm production…”

He had flown away from the bed, his gut-wrenching scream waking Marie. Now he was sitting naked on the floor, rocking back and forth, trying to calm down. He couldn’t close his eyes. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t make his limbs obey. His thighs and abdomen were cramping. Sweat was pouring from him in sheets.
“Logan, it’s alright…” Marie draped a blanket over his shoulders and tried to help him back to bed.
“No…”
“Come back to bed. It’s all right. Everything’s alright…”
“I think I’m going to be sick…” He crawled across the floor on his hands and knees, blanket flapping around him. He made it to the front porch. Bile rose to the back of his throat, but he didn’t dare to let it out. Internal cramps forced him to curl on his side. Cool night air, fresh from the rain, felt heavenly in his lungs. He tried to breathe deeply. To make his body obey.

“Logan?” Marie was standing at the doorstep. Too far away. He reached towards her.
“Come here…” She crouched next to him. He grabbed her and buried his head to her lap. Her scent surrounded him. Sound of her heartbeat vanquished the last remainder of his dream, the hum of the machine. Her hands rubbed his stomach, loosening the knotted muscles.
“Christ…” Tears he had held back for years spilled over, making him hide his face deeper to her lap, nearly crushing her in the circle of his arms.

“Are you really okay with this?” Logan asked with a thick voice when Marie helped him back inside.
“Yes. We both need this. I have missed this.”
“I can go, you know. Just tell me if you don’t want me to stay…”
“Logan, come back to bed. It’s cold.”
“I can go. I can. But can I stay this one night? I… Just one night…” Marie pushed him to the bed and crawled under the blanket next to him.
“I don’t want you to go. I want you to stay with me.”
“How long?”
“As long as you want. Calm down, Logan. It was just a nightmare.”
“Can I hold you?”
“Yes. Wait, no. Not like this…” She felt sudden surge of fear when Logan tried to spoon with her. She was already better, but she wasn’t yet able to trust herself not to bolt from the feel of Logan draped over her back. She turned around, cuddling against Logan’s chest, his trembling hands cradling her to him.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t stop it. I tried, but I was so fucking scared…”
“It’s okay, Logan.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. Go back to sleep.”
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