“You sure about this baby?” Logan asked for the fourth time since he’d pulled out onto the main road heading south toward Calgary. He’d booked their hotel room, a nice, quiet, expensive room with a hot tub, and a king sized bed. It had been four years since they’d gotten back from Westchester, four years of struggling to rebuild what had been tore down and they desperately needed a holiday.
A holiday away from the kids, business, and the memories of the guilt that Marie still carried at turning away from her friends. So to guarantee a little private time with his girl, Logan had offered her a trip which she’d readily accepted.
“Are you kidding?” Marie gaped at him with a familiar, sexy grin. “Its been nearly a month since we’ve had enough privacy to actually do it without rushing. I need to be fucked long and hard darlin’ and home just ain’t doing it for me.”
“Doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that Jubilee’s letter said they might stop in does it?” Logan asked softly, lovingly his glaze darting to her before away.
“Not really,” Marie sighed pushing aside the old niggling feeling of guilt. She’d made her choices, made her decision and she was proud of it. “I miss them sure, but not enough to put up with them going on about how much Bobby’s still in love with me. I don’t think they truly understand what happened.”
Logan nodded as he shifted the gears, some part of him knew she wasn’t referring to the attacks; instead she was talking about disappearing without a word that fateful day. He knew that it bothered her on some level that she’d deserted her friends but she rarely spoke of it and he never pushed. Marie would do whatever was best for her when the time came!
“So what d’ya say we get the fuck outta Dodge then?” Logan grinned at her as she rolled her eyes at his statement. They were nearly five hours away from home by now and would be in Calgary within the next few hours.
“Mmm, as long as you can promise me some good, long drawn out sex we’ll be good to go.”
“Baby, I don’t plan on leavin’ the hotel room at all this week. Unless it’s an emergency and it had better be a damn good one cause I got plans for that hot tub!”
Marie laughed softly and scooted across the bench seat to snuggle closer to him. God she loved this man and it hadn’t changed in the years they’d known each other. Instead they’d gotten closer, each offering the other something no one would ever be able to compete with - utter understanding.
“You have got to be kidding,” Kitty gaped at Jubilee and Remy as they shook their heads at her. “Calgary! Its friggin’ cold up there right now, not to mention the fact that Bobby’s gonna be antsy the entire time we’re there.”
“Yes but Jean and Scott are coming to. Or at least we hope they are.”
“You have got to be insane!” Kitty smiled at the couple and nodded slightly. She would go with them, and she’d enjoy herself way too much. Briefly like smoke curling through the room, Kitty’s mind wandered to where Rogue was and she pushed such maudlin thoughts aside. Rogue was gone and nothing would bring her back.
“You are all packed aren’t you?” Jubes asked softly recognizing that familiar thoughtful look in Kitty’s eyes.
“Yeah, just tell me where you parked the wheels.”
“The blue van in the garage,” Remy declared easily sliding a familiar arm around Jubilee’s waist and pulling her flush against his body. “We’ll be there in ten minutes.”
“Cool, see you there.”
With a silent groan Marie watched the familiar man striding across the parking lot toward them. Glancing at Logan she sighed and snuggled closer to him, pressing her breast into his arm and smiling at his look.
“Hey Smoke,” Logan drawled his features relaxed, accepting of the man he respected so much.
“Logan, see you two are enjoying some no-kids-in-sight time.”
“Yep,” Logan shrugged and grinned reading the other man easily. “What do you need?”
“We got a situation, and normally I wouldn’t ask you to help me out with this but we need your particular skill.”
“No,” Marie snarled. “No. I haven’t even had him to myself for three days Smoke! I’d like to spend a little more time with him..”
“After this I’ll pay for you to take a cruise. A nice, long, adult only cruise in the most luxurious yacht I can find. But I really need Logan’s help with this,” Smoke looked apologetically at Marie, “There are kids involved. If we don’t do something it’s gonna go bad for all of them.”
“Baby,” Logan started only to stop at her look, leaning down he kissed her hard on the mouth before stepping away. “I’ll be as quick as I can be.”
“Fine, fine. I’ll just have to keep myself occupied until you get back!” she replied with a soft pout and a smile.
“You do that; I’ll try to be back within the next day or so.”
Marie smiled at him lovingly and shook her head, “The last time you said that it took you a week to get home. Then I spent a month listening to how much fun you had pummeling some poor shmuck who didn’t understand that you don’t set fires and you don’t hurt mutant kids.”
“What can I say?”
“Go, have fun. Smoke, I want him back in one piece and I can guarantee you that Doc’ll have your ass in a sling if you make her a widow before her first great-grand baby is born.”
“We’ll be back. Thanks darlin’ you’re the best.”
“Thanks Marie, I’m glad to see you’re being generous this afternoon!”
“Generous has nothing to do with it. I want my husband back in one piece Smoke. And Doc’s gonna want you back to, we have plans for that old school house.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Love you baby, take care.”
“Yeah, yeah so I’ve been told!” Marie said watching as they hurried off. With a smile she shrugged, “Well looks like I’m gonna spend the rest of the week shopping!”
Hailing a cab she headed downtown to some of the more expensive shops Logan’s credit card resting pleasantly in her wallet.
Hours later with a brand new outfit, two pairs of boots, and some clothes for the four kids Marie hurried through the lobby of the hotel toward the elevators intent on getting back to her room. Smiling softly at the bellman she slipped inside, unaware of the small group of people standing in the lobby watching her.
“Oh my God!” Jubilee whistled, “That couldn’t have been who I thought it was.”
“Marie’s here,” Jean said softly and glanced sharply at Bobby who’d tensed at the mention of the woman he was still head over heels for. Jean had long since decided that he wasn’t in love with her so much as obsessed but there was little that she could do. “Wonder which room?”
“I’ll find out,” Kitty said and hurried toward the counter. “Excuse me.”
“Yes Miss Pryde?” the front desk clerk smiled at her easily, “What can I do for you?”
“I just saw someone I think I know here. I was wondering if you could tell me if Marie..”
“Oh you mean Missus Logan?” the clerk, a perky young woman nodded briefly. “She comes every year. Well usually they both come and stay in the penthouse suite. Logan had to step out some emergency he had to handle but she’s going to be staying the rest of the week.”
“Thank you. I haven’t seen her in a few years, wasn’t sure if I recognized her.”
“You’ll find that Marie and Logan are very well known in these parts. They do a lot of business in the area.”
“Thank you,” with a smile Kitty headed for the elevator and headed up to the penthouse. Stepping out of the doors she caught sight of Marie standing next to a door trying to juggle the bags she had and her key.
“So how are you doing?” Kitty asked as she approached Marie who jumped and whirled to face her a dark look coming over her face.
“Jesus, ya trying to scare the devil outta me?” Marie hissed angrily.
“Could I?”
“Kitty you are my friend, so I won’t kill you. What are you doing here?”
“We came up for the wedding.”
“Wedding?”
“Yeah, Jubilee is getting married in a couple of days..”
“That’s right. Well its been nice but I wanna get inside..”
“Oh let me help you,” Kitty picked up the bags Marie had dropped and followed the other woman into the room. Setting the down she appraised the suite easily before glancing at Marie who was kicking her shoes off and dropping her purse on the counter of an island. “How are you doing Marie?”
“Good. It’s been a long road, but the kids and Logan help me.”
“What happened?” Kitty asked softly, knowing that the others would be on their way up even as she sent a mental message to Jean to tell her where she was. “Why would you turn your back on us?”
Marie sighed and reached for a cup to pour a coffee for herself, “You sure you want an explanation now? Or should I wait for the rest of the gang?”
“One explanation huh?”
“You have no idea how lucky you are,” Marie whispered and paced over to the window. Glancing down she picked up the picture frame she carried with her at all times and smiled. “You’ve never experienced hell, never known what it means to have your world torn apart.”
“Try me.”
“What good is this going to do?” Marie whirled as the door opened and Jean stepped into the room followed rather quickly by Scott, Remy, Jubilee, Bobby, and Storm.
“Don’t you think you owe us some sort of explanation?” Kitty asked softly.
Marie smiled and took a sip of her coffee. “So you want an explanation do you? Well then you’ll get one, just don’t blame me when you spend hours puking your guts out ladies and gentlemen.”
Glancing at Kitty Jean wondered just what they were going to get, Marie’s personalities had shifted within her and a familiar one was sitting in control. “It’s nice to see you looking so good Marie.”
“Glad you think so,” Marie smiled and settled into an overstuffed chair. “Please have a seat; y’all want to know what happened I’ll tell you. Then you can get outta my face about it!”
“You don’t have to tell us anything,” Scott said softly glancing at Storm who looked uneasy. “It’s none of our business.”
“No?” Marie shook her head. “No I’ll tell you just because I know what it’s going to mean for you to know. I won’t be looking over my shoulder waiting for you to pop up with this we’re your friends Marie routine.”
Settling in Bobby glanced at the others before leaning back, now they’d get the full story; get to the bottom of just how badly Logan had fucked up.
“I made the first mistake,” Marie stated calmly. “I got angry with Logan for doing what he had promised me he’d do and in my naivety all I saw was him being controlling. He wasn’t, he was just doing exactly what he knew he had to do. What he could to protect me, and I repaid him by tossing it in his face. When he left I followed intent on apologizing, making him understand that I had let my pride get in the way. God I wish I could go back and change the way I hurt him. But you can’t go back and I’ve learnt that the hard way. So I went looking for him, I was going to swallow my pride and beg him to come back to me. I was one bar away from him when they grabbed me.”
“Who?”
“Military,” Marie shifted uneasily even as she retreated into her mind, searching for the familiar memories that she clung to when the horror of being used as a thing got too much. “They used some sort of tranquilizer on me, I don’t remember too much about the first few hours they had me - something tells me I don’t wanna remember them. I remember the sound of the scissors though.”
“Scissors?” Bobby asked softly.
“Yeah, they gave me a hair cut. Word of advice ladies, never let a man cut your hair. They will fuck it up royally - unless they’re Logan and he can turn a nightmare cut into something sexy. Even when all you’ve got is a few tufts of hair long enough to actually tell the color of.”
“Something tells me he could turn just about anything sexy,” Jean smiled at Marie sensing the unease, the fear, and rage that simmered just under the surface.
“Yeah but then I’m biased, I think he’s sexy period.”
“No argument,” Jubilee declared with a grin. “I remember the first time I saw him, thought you were either the luckiest woman alive or just plain gifted.”
Smirking Marie shrugged and buried into the memories she’d absorbed from Logan that fateful day. Focused on the sensations of warm blood flowing over her fingers, the ease, the give of soft flesh as it was torn apart by adamantium.
“You don’t have to do this Marie,” Jean whispered noting the sick little smile on the other woman’s face.
“What do you mean?” Marie shifted looking across the room at the group that was assembled. “You mean you really don’t wanna know about the way they butted their cigarettes out on my body, or the feel of rope biting into my wrists when they pulled it taut as they stretched me out, leaving me tied to the side of a fuckin’ jeep while they raped me. Or that cotton tastes like shit, especially when it’s soaked in your own blood. You sure you don’t wanna know all the gory little details? Wanna know that the only way I could stay sane was to withdraw into my mind. Don’t you want to know how I focused on the Logan in my mind so I wouldn’t have to feel them raping me with beer bottles? Oh come on - these are juicy little tidbits! Perfect fodder for the gossip mills!”
Marie snarled rising to her feet sharply. “You wanna know how Logan found me? I’ll tell you. Huddled into a little ball in the corner of a motel room covered in blood, dried booze, and their semen. I had cuts and bruises all over my body, a few bite marks that were rather interesting, and lets not forget the burns and the brand that marked me for the rest of my life. A brand that I still wear today because not even Logan’s amazing healing powers could take it away!”
“Marie!” Jean rose sharply and moved toward her.
“Don’t, don’t touch me,” Marie glared at the other woman. “I still don’t know how many days it was before Logan’s healing powers fully kicked in and I was able to get up and move around. I do know that he went to get something to eat and I smashed a glass and sliced my wrists so I wouldn’t have to remember! He wouldn’t let me surrender to them like that - he touched me and made me better. None of you understand that!”
“Marie its okay..”
“No it isn’t! Its never going to be okay because you don’t understand that Logan loves me! Loves the scars, the voices, the anger, the fear, the darkness that lives within me. He hasn’t walked out that door once in the past eight years. Not when the nightmares have gotten so bad that I can’t sleep in the same room as him, not when I wake up to find I’ve driven a pair of scissors into his chest. Not once has he ever turned away from me..” Marie gasped the anger and the pain rolling through her with the force of a freight train.
“We wouldn’t have either Marie,” Storm spoke softly, calmly hoping that she’d be able to reach the young woman.
“Really? Do you know how I deal with my memories? I bring the images of what Logan did to the men who took me, who hurt me to the front of my mind and I watch them over and over again. I enjoy the memory of their blood flowing over his claws, over his fingers. I wallow in the smell of their fear, their pain. I listen very, very closely to the sound of their bones breaking, to the way their breath hitches in pain, the gurgle that they make as they slowly drown in their own blood. I surround myself with those memories when the darkness swallows me and I can’t bear to face it. ”
Bobby swallowed harshly, feeling sickened as he stared at the girl across the room. “You’re a survivor Marie.”
“No, Logan’s a survivor - I’m just a leech that sucked that ability outta him. I love him enough to be there for him, and if I have to spend the rest of my life on my knees I will be sure that he knows that. You think that its just gratitude, that its shame that keeps me with him but it isn’t.”
Stalking to the window Marie stared out, “The first time Logan touched me I knew, I knew what he would do. What he would say. In a moment of weakness I crossed the line, breached his defenses and wormed my way into that little fortress he lives in.”
“Logan loves you,” Jean sighed, “and he understand where you’re coming from Marie. Give us a chance, give us some time and we’ll try our hardest to be there for you like he is.”
Marie smiled coldly and turned to face Jean. “Did you know that the first time we had sex, I had to talk him into it? I begged him to touch me - not because he didn’t want to, but because he did. Logan knows himself knows that there are times when Wolverine is stronger than Logan and he didn’t want to scare me. I knew that, I knew exactly where Logan was coming from and I’ve nurtured his presence in my mind. Logan gave me back something that night that they stole away. He gave me back my control, I won’t desert him.”
“We don’t expect you to,” Scott said rising and moving over to stand in front of her. Reaching out he wasn’t surprised when she flinched away from him, and let his hand drop back to his side. “All we want is a chance to be your friends, to be there for you.”
Marie smirked, “Really? Funny I know one person in this room who is sickened by my past. Who wished that he could just get up and leave but he can’t cause he’s just as much a coward as I was. I don’t blame you for not wanting to be near me, most people don’t. But don’t act all wounded cause Logan’s where you used to want to be,” she glanced pointedly at Bobby. “I would rather have Logan on me, around me, in me than live a hundred years without him. I wouldn’t change the past no matter what.”
“Why not?” Bobby demanded sharply. “He let you down?”
Marie shrugged, “Did he? I knew him, I knew the man he was, the man he is, and I understood him most of the time but not all the time. After those two men took me I understood everything about him. I understood what was in his heart, what was in his mind. I understood the man and the beast. I’d rather have that with him, than an entire lifetime of simplicity with you!”
Jumping at the sharp peel of the phone she grabbed it up and snarled a greeting into it, “Yeah what?”
“What the fuck is wrong?” Logan’s angry growl had an immediate calming effect on her. “Who’s there?”
“Hey babe,” Marie sighed, her breathing coming in little gasps. “How’s it going?”
“I’ll be back at the hotel tomorrow morning. You don’t sound okay, who the fuck showed up? Some of Bucket brain’s goons?”
“No Logan.”
“Smoke, I’ve gotta motor. Something’s wrong with Marie,” Logan turned to his friend who nodded and reached for his cell. “You got it under control?”
“Yeah, I’m just gonna call in the clean-up crew, go back to your old lady.”
“Logan you don’t need to..” Marie whispered painfully.
“Fuck that shit Babe. You’re number one on my priority list and I’m coming back now.”
“You’re not even in Canada..”
“Don’t need to be,” Logan grinned suddenly. “Got my own teleporting agent.”
“Oh no you don’t!” Marie grinned suddenly. “You are not getting Doc to transport you.”
“Too late. I’ll be there within a few minutes. Whoever’s been bothering you better have their affairs in order.”
Marie stared at the phone as the line went dead then shrugged. “Logan’s on his way..”
“Wrong Logan’s back!” the low, angry snarl had everyone turning to face the man who was stalking across the room from by the doors. “And wanting to know what the fuck is going on?”
“They came for story time,” Marie replied softly watching him, feeling the heat starting to build within her already. “I’m just here for the sex.”
With a raised eyebrow Logan stared at his wife, “Story time over?”
Marie glanced at the assembled crowd and raised an eyebrow. “Just about. I got a question for you babe.”
Logan shrugged, restraining the urge to just gut the prick that was sitting glaring at him. “Shoot?”
“Before us, how many people did you let touch you?”
Logan frowned and stared at her for a moment, “You mean willingly?”
“Yeah?”
“None. Not the way we touch at least. Why?”
“Just wanted to be sure that you and I are coming from similar standpoints.”
Logan laughed suddenly, “Out of everyone in this room there are only two that can actually say they’ve survived life and that’s us. Quit worrying woman, you’re hotter then hell don’t need them.”
“Yeah I guess you’re right,” Bobby said suddenly and stalked toward the door. “Guess you always did know didn’t you?” Jerking it open he glared at Marie, “You know honesty goes a long way - and you aren’t even being honest with yourself.”
Marie shrugged, restraining Logan with one hand on his arm, “No? Unlike you Bobby Logan accepts everything about me. You only want the parts you can see.”
“Perhaps, but then can you say that you’re much different. You want what you know will be safe, nothing more.”
“Fuck off Ice Pick,” Logan snarled. “Your big problem isn’t that she’s with me, it’s the fact that she isn’t panting after you like a bitch in heat. You want what you can’t have and it bothers you that the better man won!”
“Better man?” Bobby shrugged. “You aren’t the better man - to be a better man you’d have to be a man. And you fail miserably on both counts.”
Logan snarled in his throat even as his claws came out and the door slammed. “Fuckin’ prick..”
“We’re sorry Marie,” Storm said softly. “We had no right to pry..”
“Fuckin’ rights you didn’t. What is it about upsetting her that gets you guys off?”
“We just wanted to understand,” Jean replied softly meeting his eyes. “Wanted to know where both of you were coming from. We’ll leave you to your holiday.”
“Are you sure you understand?” Marie asked sharply. “Do you really get it? The girl that they raped is dead, I’m a different person.”
Jean shrugged and looked at the others, “Not to us. To us you’re still that young woman we knew, just a whole lot stronger than any of us will ever be.”
“Told ya they wouldn’t know what its like to walk in shadows,” Logan grunted holding Marie tightly to him. “Too much class I guess.”
“No, class has nothing to do with it,” Scott said facing Logan squarely. “We’ve been exposed to some of the horrors that are out there but nothing like either of you have. Being used as a thing is never fun Logan, and that’s something we’ve had to learn. Are still learning but we are getting better at it.”
“You’ll never figure it all out,” Marie whispered looking at Jean. “Because you’ll never have to.”
Jubilee smiled softly, “And that makes you stronger than all of us put together Marie. You said you were a leech, you just sucked the survivor outta him but you are so wrong,” walking up to her friend the young Eurasian stared at her for a moment. “Two souls are stronger than one and two personalities so similar are helpful to each other but it’s deeper than that. You’ve learned how to walk that road; none of us even have the directions. Don’t be a stranger Marie. After all you are still our friend - even if you are the toughest bitch I know!”
Laughing softly Marie watched her friend as she gathered her coat and headed for the door. “Thank you.”
“Aw hell Chica, scars or no, what else are friends for?”
“Yeah,” Marie whispered as the door closed softly behind them. Turning she stared at Logan for a moment noting the tension in his body, the banked fury. “You’re mad at me aren’t you?”
“What?” Jerking his attention away from the door Logan stared at the woman in his arms. “Mad at you? Why the hell would I be mad at you?”
“For telling them.”
“That was yours to tell,” Logan shrugged softly. “I’m just pissed that Ice Pick didn’t get it. Even now he doesn’t understand and that bothers you because you thought him to be a friend.”
“Perhaps. But not for the reason you think. I thought I loved him at one time and it bothers me that my judgment could be so off. That I was so blind..”
“You weren’t blind,” Logan shot back. “It’s his problem not yours. One he ain’t gonna have very long if he don’t watch himself.”
“I guess.”
“I’m right, I’m always right,” Logan grinned down at her and shifted his hands resting on her ass as he pulled her flush against his body. Enjoying the flare of desire in her eyes he tilted his head slightly, letting the Wolverine have some control. “Now you said something about sex?”
Laughing Marie shrieked when he picked her up and headed for the large, king sized bed that occupied the bedroom of their suite. All thoughts of the X-men pushed aside as he kicked the door closed, his claws coming out to make short work of her clothes leaving her naked and wanting even as he stripped out of his jeans and shirt.
The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
Barely Legal Since 2000
Author's Chapter Notes:
This story contains adult themes, mature content and references to non-consensual sex. If these things offend you, please do not read any further. If not, please enjoy this story.
It's sorta an epilogue story for Going Back in the Need vs Pride series
It's sorta an epilogue story for Going Back in the Need vs Pride series