I just woke up. I feel so fucking crowded. Too much going on inside me. Professor explained what happened. This is probably the closest I will ever get with Marie. She’s inside of me now. Me, myself and Marie. Fuck. That lycan is still in the mix, too. But instead of me it’s in Marie now. Who’s in me. I always thought Chuck was a wise man. Now I’m starting to wonder his sanity.
I can’t communicate with her, but every time I close my eyes I can see her. She’s tiny dot of light in the darkness, floating around. Not too many men have the privilege to get this close with their wives, but I would give up this honor just to see her opening her eyes again. Her body looks cold and dead. Fuckers tried to stop me when I took her to my room.
Chuck promised to figure out a way to extract her mind from mine and move it back to her own body again. He better make it fast. My mind isn’t a safe place. I can only hope she doesn’t stumble in to some nasty surprises. When those fuckers in the lab scrambled my brain, they booby-trapped the whole place. There’s no telling what will happen if she trips over something.
Jean came over. Tried to make me take Marie back to med lab. Asked if I knew what responsibility it was to treat a coma patient. Like I’m fucking afraid of shit, piss and occasional drool bubble. I know how to set up an IV. I know how to keep her clean. I know how to keep her muscles and joints working. I can smell any possible cause of discomfort faster than any of those machines Jean has. I know human body from inside out. Up until now I have used that knowledge to maim and kill. Time to use it for something important now.
“There. You’re all set up now. Sorry, couldn’t put coke in that IV, but I’ll get you some as soon as you wake up. I’ll go and talk with professor now. Won’t take long. I’ll be right back.” Shit. That needle looked huge when I pushed it in. I expected her to scream and bolt up. Of course she didn’t. She’s still in my head. Probably screaming her lungs out. Professor better have some good news. It has been nearly two weeks already. I don’t know how much longer her body can take this. I don’t know how long I can take this. At least the baby is fine. I have been listening to it at nights. It’s so small it doesn’t have a heartbeat yet, but I can still hear something. Don’t really know what it is, but I haven’t slept ages as good as now. My head on her stomach, her heart in the background, and that small voice from her womb my lullaby.
“Lycan is probably the very thing keeping her trapped. It already managed to establish working connection with your mind. She has to let it go if she wishes to return to her own body.” Isn’t that nice. Either way I’m going to loose her.
“Can’t you do something? Pull that mutt out from us both?” Professor shakes his head.
“It’s impossible. I have no that kind of power. I could leash it once it leaves her mind. That was my intention in the beginning, before she pulled it to herself.”
“Leash it? What do you mean?” That sounds already promising.
“Lycan would still be in you, but in the background. You would be in control instead of it.”
“How do we tell her to let go? I have tried to talk to her, but I can’t reach her.” And isn’t that frustrating. Of all the possible places she’s lost in my own fucking head, and I can’t track her down. Shows how messed up that place is.
“You have to lower your guards. Your subconscious threw me out, and I have been unable to get in ever since.” Oh.
“I have some good news. Prof figured out a way to get this whole fucking mess sorted out.” I’m just going to cuddle with her for a while. Comb her hair. Keep her close. Listen to our baby grow. I don’t trust Professor’s plan any more than I would have trusted the previous one. Too many ifs. If he manages to get past my defenses. If he finds Marie. If she agrees to let lycan go. If she can let it go. But it still is our best shot.
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