Ah jus' don't get why Ah'm here, that's all. Ah'm fine. There is nothin' wrong with me. None of the other voices in mah head think I need therap...why are you lookin' at me like that?
So Ah have voices in mah head. Yeah, sometimes they do tell me to do stuff, like the other day Ah growled an' called someone Bub. That definitely aint me talkin'. So what? You think Ah've got some sorta multiple personality disorder? Well Ah've known that for years – how much is the Professor payin' you again? Whatever it is, Ah think it's too much.
Ok, Ok, Ah'll sit down. Yeah, you were right. This *is* a comfy couch.
So, what d'ya want to talk about anyhow? Jus' 'cause Ah broke it off with Bobby, doesn't mean Ah have issues. Although there is the voices thing. And the nightmares thing. And the occasionally goin' crazy thing. And the sex addiction.
Don't look so shocked. You think a nice girl like me can't have se...oh. Ah see. You were shocked about the other things.
The sex addiction thing isn't really mah fault anyway. Y'see. There's this guy.
No, he's real. He's not one of the voices... well, actually he *is*, but not in this case. *No* Ah didn't have any imaginary friends during mah childhood. Look, see. Bruises on mah hips. Couldn't make them up mahself now, could Ah?
No, Ah don't have self harmin' issues. Where do'ya come up with these ideas?
Anyway, last week Ah was happily makin' mahself some coffee, when he jus' strides in, gives me this look. An' believe me, if you got that look, you'd have a sex addiction too.
He did this kinda growl thing, said he'd sorted a few things out in his head. Then all predator-like, he just up and slings me over his goddamn shoulder! An' Ah'm jus' hanging there, thinkin' that maybe the laundry mix-up had been pushin' it just one step too far. But he doesn't let go until he deposits me on the back seat of his bike.
Well, what's a girl supposed to do? Ah could act all affronted, but Ah had to hold on to him, as he was already drivin' off. And it's so much harder to feel put out when there's warm muscled adamantium t'hold on to...Mmmm...
...Sorry, where was Ah? So, anyway, he takes me out to the middle of goddamn nowhere, and...no this is me talkin', this is mah voice. Why are you so fixated on the multiple personality thing? Ah have to live with it, so should you! Ah'm in perfect control, Ah can even touch people these days without mah skin suckin' away their...why are you backin' towards the door?
Sit. The fuck. Back. Down.
...Bub.
See now look what you've done. You made the Wolverine come out to play. You'd better hope he doesn't wake Magneto 'cause then we'd be in trouble.
That's better.
So, we were in the middle of nowhere, an' he leads me to this small secluded spot. Ah nearly died when he threw down a picnic rug. Seriously, where the hell did he get that idea from? The Wolverine. With a picnic rug. Never thought Ah'd see it. And the damn wind kept tryin' to blow it away, and he was gettin' all techty tryin' to hold it down, so Ah had to go an' find some stones to weight it.
Then once it's sorted, he digs around under the seat of his bike, and produces some beer and some takeout. And damn it if he isn't lookin' so fuckin' pleased with himself.
By the time we get round to eatin' it though, it's cold an'...
Ok, yeah, Ah admit it. Ah did skip a bit. You wanna know about that too? You some sorta pervert or somthin'?
Fahne.
Yeah, he jumped me. Don't look at me like that. I did nothin' to provoke it. Ah had just opened the beer, nothin' wrong with that. Ah took a long swig, and Ah was hot, y'see. So I pressed it against mah forehead, lettin' those cool drips of condensation trickle off the bottle, down the side of mah face, and disappear under the collar of mah shirt, and suddenly, out of nowhere, there was six foot'a growlin' man on top 'a me.
Well, it certainly wasn't mah fault the beer spilt all over mah top. And it wasn't mah fault it went see through. Ok, Ah may have had somethin' to do with the fact that he seemed to be losin' all his clothes... but the rippin of my underwear was all down to him.
*Man* it was good. We're talkin' picnic mat burns good. We're talkin' over the bike, up against a tree, three times on the way home good. An' believe me when Ah say, that man is talented. In every respect. He knew exac-
*No* Ah don't have dominance issues. Yes, Ah know it's ok to admit it, but Ah don't. An'...why did you just turn the fan on? It's not hot in here?
Ok, Ah admit, Ah do feel a little guilty about breakin' it off with Bobby. But Ah did it as soon as we got home. Well, after we'd tried out the bed anyway. And the closet. And it's not like he was even that upset. Wouldn't even bother to come outta the bathroom to face me.
Y'see, so really, Ah'm fine. Honest Ah am. No reason for me to be here at all...
Who are you callin'? Y'know, it's awful rude to make phone calls when people are talkin' t'ya. You should learn some manners.
No Ah'm not stayin'. Ah don't care that we haven't finished. Ah'm gonna go. Ah've got me a hot man waitin' for me at home. An' Ah know jus' what to do with him.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Check me out. I'm productive this weekend. Two fics in as many days... This time it's Rogue's POV, it's my first attempt at her accent, so sorry if it sucks – and watch out guys, she's feisty! This is for Shadowlady, who asked so nicely *grins*, and who promised me Logan-in-tight-jeans on a plate... *looks around for said offering*