"Good morning," Bella mumbled sleepily, holding her arms out for a hug, as she did most mornings with both Marie and Logan.
"Morning sweetheart, did you sleep well?" Marie asked softly, trying to keep the tears she was still struggling not to shed, out of her voice.
"Mmhmm," Bella murmured, "I had a dream, Logan made pancakes, and we had a picnic outside, with the snowman... hey, where's the snowman gone?" Bella suddenly asked, as she peered out the front window into the yard where she and Logan had built a snowman the day before, before the snow and really started falling.
"I think your snowman got snowed in," Marie replied with a giggle, pointing at the snowman size mound of snow sticking up into the air in the otherwise flat area.
Bella pouted grumpily before requesting breakfast, asking if Logan would make pancakes anyway, even if they couldn't have a picnic with the now buried snowman.
"Um, well, Logan's not here right now but we could make pancakes if you like," Marie informed her uncertainly, answering the little girls queries of, 'where is he', and 'when will he be back', as noncommittally as she could.
For the whole day they hung out inside, cooking, reading, playing games, both periodically watching out the window to see if they could catch a glimpse of Logan. By dusk he still hadn't shown up, and Marie was on the verge of a panic attack. After already having put Bella to bed, she was ready to bundle up and go looking for him; to hell with the dark, and the fact she would probably get lost.
Suddenly, movement and heavy footsteps could be heard on the back porch.
Throwing the door open, Marie threw herself at Logan, almost before he had a chance to register her sudden appearance.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean- I mean, that wasn't right of me, I shouldn't have--" she began to ramble and cry, completely missing the sensation of Logan picking her up, and carrying her inside, out of the cold.
"Shh, it's okay, I'm sorry, I overreacted, I didn't mean to be gone so long either- I-I walked further than I realised," Logan interrupted her soothingly, rocking her and rubbing her back, as she sobbed against his chest. Her arms locked around his neck, as if she was worried he would disappear if she let him go.
"I'm sorry," she eventually repeated, with a dejected sniffle. "I know it wasn't fair of me to think things like that, it's just--"
"It's hard for you to trust people," Logan interrupted, a lopsided grin lifting one corner of his mouth. "I understand darlin, you've seen the darkest side of humanity, I should have been more understanding, you didn't necessarily think I would do that, it's just... what you've grown to expect from people in general, right?" he asked gently.
With a miserable nod, Marie shifted on his lap, burrowing into his chest again as his arms came up to wrap around her.
"When my mutation turned on, I was kissing a boy, I'd had a crush on him forever and he finally realised I existed and started trying to be friends with me," Marie began her story softly, she felt like she owed him an explanation. "We were in my room, we were talking, and then he kissed me, it felt good to start with but then I got scared, well nervous more like I suppose, and I tried to pull away but he- he wouldn't let me, he held onto me and rolled over on top of me, I couldn't move, and he started touching me and- and then it happened, I started... sucking him in through my skin, I could see what he was thinking, what he had been planning to do to me, he was going to- to... and then he was going to blackmail me to stay quiet, he would tell my parents I seduced him, and tell the kids at school I was a whore, and if I- I... he thought he could get me to keep letting him have sex with me, if he kept threatening me, he had done it before, to another girl, eventually he got her to- to let all his friends 'have a turn' with her, and then he 'dumped her', I knew her, she never told anyone what he did to her, and he was going to do that to me too.
"When I managed to push him off me, I just remember screaming, and screaming, feeling so dirty, and throwing up... my momma found him seizing on my bed, she thought that was what I was screaming about, she called an ambulance, then tried to get me to come out of the bathroom I locked myself in. Later, when the ambulance was gone and they had taken him to the hospital... momma was hugging me and telling me everything was alright, and I just started telling her what I'd seen, the things he was thinking, and- when I finished telling my story I fell asleep. When I woke up momma and daddy were arguing, about what they were going to do with me, I was a freak, possessed by a demon, unclean, they wanted to have me exorcised and they called their priest who said it was a serious case and they needed to take me to the church and it would take a while. I begged them the whole way not to send me away, I told them that I wasn't evil, that I was still me, that I wasn't trying to hurt anyone.
"My daddy looked me dead in the eye and told me I wasn't his daughter, that his daughter died when whatever evil spirit it was had taken over my body and turned me into a freak, that he wouldn't believe otherwise until the priest told him I was saved. They dragged me into that building kicking and screaming, I was so scared, I didn't know of what exactly just that whatever was going to happen in there wasn't going to be good. The priest had two helpers, and they took me down to the basement, and there was... it was a- a- they called it a dungeon, and they tied me up, and gagged me, and they took my clothes, and-" she sucked in a shuddering breath even as she felt Logan hold her tighter, rubbing her back comfortingly, even as he tensed and began to growl softly- "One of them touched me, and I saw what they were going to do to me, it was even worse than what the first boy wanted to do. I managed to hold onto him long enough to knock him out and escaped, I stole clothes from the church storeroom, and money from the Sunday collection... part of me felt bad for stealing from a church.
"I knew I couldn't go home, so I hit the road, I stowed away on a train, headed north, I almost got caught when it stopped. From there I hitchhiked. The first guy I got a ride with stole my money, the second... wanted payment, I- he- tried to force me to, um, with my mouth... he slipped and touched me, and as soon as his grip loosened I ran. The next guy was nice, or so I thought, he said he could get me across the border, into Canada, but I would have to hide in the back of his truck so the border guards wouldn't find me, he locked me in, two days later he let me out, and handed me over to two guys. That was the first time I was sold. I hadn't told the 'nice guy' about my skin, so he didn't tell the guys he sold me to, they took me to a motel, and got drunk, they forced me to drink too, they thought it would make me too drunk to fight them, and it did but... one of them tried... I couldn't push him away, so I held onto him, the things he was going to do to me... and then when they were done they were going to kill me, and bury me in the woods where they buried the last girl... she was twelve, they took her off her dad, he owed them money for drugs and stuff, she died before they even finished...
"When the second guy realised there was something wrong with the first guy, he knew it was me, he started yelling at me, and hitting me, and I was screaming... eventually the motel manager came and banged on the door, telling him he was scaring the neighbours. They talked about what had happened, and the motel manager said I was 'probably a freak', and he knew someone who would pay good money for me, that's when I was sold to the traffickers, they tried to- to pimp me out, no matter how many times I told them I couldn't be touched, they didn't believe me, I talked my mutation up, telling them it was more dangerous than it was, that people just had to get near me for it to work. It worked for a while, then one day they slapped the collar on me but all of them were too scared by then to touch me, then they discovered I was a- a virgin, and they decided they could sell me for more instead.
"That other girl, Kitty, she was brought in the next day, and Bella the same day. They were talking about military bids, and how much the military would pay for mutants, they were going to auction us off to the private market first to try and get more money. One of the guys, he had touched me a few times since the collar went on, he told me that if I didn't sell that night he was going to have me all to himself before they handed me over to the military, kept saying there was no point wasting 'good virgin meat' on those 'animals', that the soldiers would just tear me up until I was good for nothing, he'd be doing me favour, by- by doing that to me first, he... he hurt one of the other girls, one of the human girls, to show me what he would do to me, then to show me what the soldiers would do to me he... she screamed so much, I can still hear her screams...
"I know it wasn't fair of me to project those men's thoughts and actions onto you, it's just, every man I've come across since I was able to see what they were thinking, it was all one thought, how to hurt me," Marie eventually murmured.
"I'm sorry you had to go through that darlin, you never should have had to see that, I understand, I've seen the darkness that hides inside people, I have my own darkness, though it's not like that, it wouldn't do that," Logan assured her, his lips pressed to the crown of her head as he continued to hold her. "I can take the collar off, I can show you, I'll let you see, I'm not like that, not like them," he offered, even as Marie shook her head vehemently.
"I don't want to hurt you," she told him, "You've been good to us, I should trust you for that."
"There's a lot of people you should have been able to trust darlin, people even closer to you than me, and they all let you down, I know you don't want to hurt me but if you ever need to be sure I'll show you in a heartbeat, besides, you still need to learn how to control it," Logan insisted, reminding her of his offer the night before, before they had argued.
"... I'll think about it," Marie murmured softly, her eyes fluttering closed as her body suddenly remembered that she hadn't slept the night before. After the emotional rollercoaster that had been that day, and finally sharing her story, she was exhausted, almost too tired to notice Logan pick her up and carry her to bed. She was fast asleep even before he slid beneath the covers next to her.
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