'Seriously Chica, you've just got to tell him!'
Rogue rolled her eyes. 'Yeah right. Hi Logan, how you doing? Like the new wifebeater, very hardass-but- misunderstood. Wanna catch a movie then have sex?'
Jubilee tipped her head to one side as she gave it some thought. 'You know, that might actually work. Although maybe skip the wifebeater bit.'
Kitty snorted.
'Well subtlety isn't working!' defended Jubilee.
'Well it wouldn't. You could drop a brick on the guy with a note saying 'I want your fit ass' and he still wouldn't get the picture.'
'Thanks for that Kitty. Really helpful.'
'All I'm saying is, he's a guy-'
'Thus the basis of his appeal.'
'-And guys aren't always the most observant when it comes to stuff like this.'
There was a pause of sudden silence. Both girls looked at Kitty in surprise.
'Check you out! When did you turn into miss-relationship- expert?'
Kitty blushed and mumbled something about reading it in Cosmo.
'Well it still doesn't solve my problem,' said Rogue despondently, flopping on to the sofa.
'You could sneak in to his room at night?' suggested Kitty.
'Nah that won't work. Remember before? He'll either notice me long before I get there, or claw me when I surprise him.'
Jubilee's face creased into a frown, then lit up. `How about just jumping him when he's naked in the locker room?'
Now there was an image. Rogue sighed dreamily.
'Hello? Earth to Rogue?'
'Now you've done it,' mumbled Kitty. 'She'll be comatose for hours. Your fault, you can mop up the drool.'
'Like hell I will. Rogue! Snap out of it!' She clicked her fingers, hard, in front of the other girl's face.
'Huh?' said Rogue. `Oh yeah. Naked...Locker room.' She shook her head, though the dreamy look didn't quite vanish.
'Nah, that'll never work anyway,' said Kitty. 'That involves taking him by surprise, which involves...' She flicked up three fingers like claws and made a *snikt* sound, before proceeding to maul herself to a bloody and drawn out death amid cries of 'Oh yes Wolvie, YES! Hurt me!'
Awoken from her stupor Rogue giggled.
Jubilee shot her a black look for not taking the matter seriously. 'Hmmm,' she said thoughtfully. 'So our problem is this. How do you trap a Wolverine, without getting clawed?' A sly grin spread slowly across her face. 'Well Chica's, first you need bait. I think I have an idea.'
Logan swung open the fridge door to pull out a midnight beer. He reached in, fingers groping blindly for his stash at the back, when something made him pause half way. Damn kids. There was some kind of commotion going on in the corridor.
'This way!' Giggle.
'I shtill don't – oops!' A crash, then giggling again. 'I shtill don't get why we had to drink quite sho much.' That sounded like Marie, dammit. Underneath all the slurring. Had she been out to a bar?
He growled.
Ok, ok, so she was old enough to go out and get drunk and do whatever the fuck she wanted. But that didn't mean he had to like it. He listened again.
'It's because...woah. ..look at that.' Giggle. 'Kitty just phased through the table without noticing.' Lots more giggling.
'Eeep!' He assumed that was Kitty.
'Girl, you have a vase where your ass should be.'
'Yeah Kits,' giggled Marie. 'Did I ever tell ya you have really *hicup* fine mahogany legs.'
There was a crash.
'Oh shit. Now she's fallen through the floor.' That was definitely the kid always in yellow...whatsherface... Jubilee. Christ, they were gonna wake the whole house up if they carried on like that. Bout time he got out there and sorted some stuff out. Laid down the law.
'Sho you think this'll make Logan notish me?'
Fuck.
Ouch! FUCK. He stepped away from the fridge, giving it a damn good glare for not moving out the way when he cracked his head on it.
Fucking appliances. He resisted the urge to rip the door off its hinges. Teach it a damn lesson.
Instead he closed his eyes, his jaw clenching as pain lanced through his skull. He winced as it throbbed, then faded. Healing factor or no healing factor, it still fucking hurt. With a scowl, he reached in once more to grab his beer, while he tried his damned hardest to listen.
'Nope,' Jubilee was saying, sounding very pleased with herself.
'But I thought you shaid that um...that... ' There was a long pause, punctuated only by occasional hiccups. `What were we talking about again?'
'Logan. And the fact that you want to worship his fine ass till you melt into a puddle at his feet.'
'Mmmm.'
'The plan, Chica, was to get you drunk enough so you would flaunt your fine body in front of him in some skimpy clothes and show him just what he is missing.'
Interesting. Logan quirked an eyebrow. Now that didn't sound like such a bad idea.
But it still didn't change the fact that they were causing a right racket, and he didn't want One-eye waking up and discovering his late night beer habit. If he got one more lecture on drinking/smoking/ shreddingfurnitu re, he'd have no choice but to kill him. It'd be wadyacallit – justifiable homicide.
But then Jeanie would get all pissed and probably go all dark-eyed-and- veiny on him, and Storm would make him clean up all the mess – and that would be so much *effort*. Blood was so hard to get out of upholstery. It was really much easier just to go out there and see what was going on.
Taking a swig of his beer, he prowled out into the corridor.
'See all you have to do is – oh,' Jubilee trailed off. 'Oops.'
Marie wavered slightly, and just smiled at him as she slid slowly down the wall. `Lo Logan,' she slurred brightly. `I wanna worship a puddle at your feet.' Then promptly passed out.
He looked at her. He looked at Jubilee. He even looked at the damn vase.
The eyebrow was raised.
'Care to explain?'
Jubilee (who had noted said eyebrow) was already backing up the corridor. `I...um, yeah. Of course. An explanation. I just uh...need to find, uh...Oh look is that the time? It's very late,' she managed, before she turned and sprinted, leaving him with an unconscious Marie. A very drunk, unconscious Marie.
She wouldn't be flaunting anything tonight.
It wasn't disappointment he was feeling. He had just been curious, that's all. CURIOUS.
Damn shame though.
He sighed and scooped her up into a fireman's lift, stalking back along the corridor until he reached her room, where he deposited her on her neatly made bed.
He watched her for a moment, as she wriggled against the comfort of the pillows. It made his heart twist in a way that he wasn't quite ready to admit. He turned and left before he had the chance to think any more about it, closing the door quietly behind him.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Heh heh heh. I'm sure this has been done before. I have no excuses. Just felt like a bit of non-angsty fun.