"Is it always this cold?" Rogue asked, as she stood wrapped in a blanket, staring out the hotel window. Just looking at a snow-covered Anchorage sent a shiver through her.
Logan chuckled from the bed, "It doesn't get cold for another month."
Turning around, she pouted at him. In Whitehorse, they'd been greeted with Happy Holidays when they took the last room available. The next morning without a word Logan loaded up their stuff and made the thirteen hour drive to Anchorage.
He wouldn't give her a straight answer why. Instead, he acted as if this had been part of the bargain the entire time. She was beginning to hate this whole thing, this long drawn out goodbye. There was no regret for staying with him, but a quick, clean break wouldn't have left her heart in such turmoil.
What was supposed to have been another ride to get her a few miles further down the road had turned into something completely different. For instance, they'd spent the entire day in bed, the only time either of them put on clothes had been when she went down to pick up waffles and sausages for breakfast. Then around lunch, he'd pulled on a pair of jeans to pay for the Chinese takeout. Otherwise, they'd spent the day together in bed, naked.
Not that they'd had nothing but sex. There had been other activities like cuddling while watching old movies, feeding each other cold chow mein, and at some point, she'd taken a nap. All in all, this was the way she wanted to spend every Christmas from now on, and that was the problem. Their deal was already up and come tomorrow she'd need to start thinking about what she was going to do.
Logan extended a hand to her from where he lounged on the bed. God, she loved that about him. The fact that he was so completely uninhibited about his body. There wasn't an ounce of embarrassment in him. And he made her feel loved with the way he looked at her. The way he touched her left her feeling adored.
Rogue knew she wouldn't ever regret her time with him. She also knew her life would never be the same. There would never be another man that would make her feel this way again.
Logan sensed her hesitation and said, "Come on, I'll keep you warm."
He had to smile at the way she blushed and he detested himself for doing this to her. The urge to be with her was too strong. At first, he wanted to attribute it to the need to feel that he'd put recent events behind him. Yet he knew now he was falling in love with her, had probably been in love with her since Moose Jaw.
But he was being selfish. In Whitehorse, he'd made the decision to keep her with him for a little longer. He'd thought about telling Marie that she'd have a tough time getting a ride over the holidays. Or that she would run out of money waiting. When in actuality he was afraid that something would happen to her.
She was always looking at the bright side of things, making the most of what she was given. Logan sorely lacked that in his own life. Being with her, the drudgery of life didn't weigh quite so heavily on him. There was also the way she looked at him like he was capable of anything, that she loved him; that was too much to hope for, but he wanted that for himself for a little bit longer.
He saw the twinkle in her eyes build. "I don't know my blanket's pleasantly warm," she said. "What's in it for me?"
Leaning over, he grabbed at the edge of the blanket, pulling her closer. "What you got in mind?"
Rogue felt the heat on her cheeks. They hadn't exactly done missionary the entire time but she remembered the way he'd touched her when she'd bent over the couch. It was a different feeling, something almost animalistic, selfish. Logan had been very considerate up to this point during sex. Yet she'd glimpsed the wildness underneath, wanted to experience it.
Letting the blanket fall to the floor, she crawled up on the bed stopping in the middle. He smiled and spanked her ass lightly before trying to pull her up to him. She refused to budge.
"Nah-uh," she protested, shaking her head. In response, he growled deep in his chest. To some degree, he'd intentionally avoided this. He took pleasure in watching her revel in touching. This for him would be less about her and more about a feral need.
Turning, she placed herself in a direct line so all he would have to do was sidle up behind her. He could tell from the way she held herself and her smell how badly she wanted this. He was getting hard thinking about her softness and filling her.
Repositioning himself, he leaned forward and carefully bit her butt cheek. She squirmed a little and moaned. He let his hand drift down to her clit, circling it slowly until she jerked.
Logan rolled on a condom then bit her once more before slicking himself on her folds. Slowly he entered her until he was completely sheathed in her heat. His first instinct was to begin thrusting but he fought that down. Instead, he reached around and slide a finger against her clit.
Rogue sucked in a quick breath. His other hand squeezed her hip and she bucked back on him. "I like that," she hissed.
The 'mmm' he made, came out more as a growl and he started to move shallowly and she thought she might fall apart. His fingers were working magic on her and she didn't want it to end. Slumping down she grabbed a handful of sheets and locked her feet over his legs behind the knee. He growled again, thrusting faster.
The heat in her belly intensified, coiling tighter until it burst, leaving her shaky and gasping. Logan thrust a final time, bent over her raking his teeth down her spine.
"Damn," he mumbled, his voice a tad floaty before he could clear his throat. He moved to dispose of the condom before flopping down beside her. He ran a hand up her still sweaty back.
"Tamer than I expected," she mused. "Maybe later?" Rogue saw his eyes slide away, a guilty look on his face. It had been good, ranking up there with the top five orgasms he'd given her. She would even venture to say that might be a favorite position with a little more practice on her part. However, she had felt that he was holding back.
Logan sighed inwardly. He should've known he couldn't fool her. The orgasm had been intense but he was learning that was purely due to her responsiveness to him. She already knew the feral side of him, had seen the worst of him that night. Yet he found himself wanting to keep the feral side subdued. He didn't know if he could show her and have her walk away in a couple of days. It wouldn't break him, but it would wound him severely and she wouldn't be there to help him this time.
He trusted few people completely and he'd found he trusted her more than most, but he couldn't go handing over his heart and soul to her and never see her again. 'If you love someone set them free.' What a fucking asinine saying. He wasn't that stupid, if you truly loved someone, you were set free in a different way. Love liberated you to be a better person for the one you loved.
In loving Marie he couldn't confine her to being just what she was at the moment. If she had other dreams, he needed to help her achieve those. Even if he lost her in the process and in turn he could be happy that she was doing well.
He also knew he couldn't stay here in Alaska with her. He'd already been gone, on the flimsiest of excuses, for far too long. There was business back in New York he needed to attend to.
This was it. They'd been sitting in the parking lot of the job center for a good 10 minutes. Rogue still couldn't make herself get out of the vehicle. There would be no going back if she did.
She'd promised herself over the weekend that there would be no tears. Their bargain had long ago expired and everything else had merely been gravy. Logan still looked at her in a way that stole her breath away but this was real life. It wasn't always easy and she knew for a fact happy endings didn't happen.
The weekend had been spent driving around Anchorage. He said he wanted to make sure she knew her way around. She realized during that time that Alaska wasn't for her. It was beautiful, especially in the snow, an excellent place to visit but she couldn't see herself there year around.
Rogue thought he was trying to prolong their time together with the guided tour, though she knew that was wishful thinking on her part. Setting a personal deadline of Monday, she'd politely turned down any ideas that would make her reliant on him. The break needed to be clean and the longer they drew it out the worse it would hurt.
"I best be going," she said with a heavy sigh.
Logan got out to help her with her bag. Stubbornly she'd refused any other help from him; extra cash or even the hotel room for the week. She seemed dead set on this course of action and was leaving with the additional coat and boots he'd gotten her, nothing extra.
It was just as well, his life was erratic. He never stayed in one place long, even if he considered the mansion the closest thing to a home he'd ever had. There was little he could offer her.
Shouldering her duffle bag, she tried to think of how to proceed. A handshake was weird; a kiss would be awkward because she'd learned that led to other things with him. Saying goodbye seemed so final.
Ultimately, she settled on, "See ya'." It seemed to leave some space for the future.
He grunted, the smile not reaching his eyes. She could see he was feeling lost. No, she was the lost one. He looked miserable standing there with his wild hair and tough attitude.
Turning, she started to walk away. At that moment, as he watched the distance grow between them, something snapped inside. He was a dumbass; she fit into his life just fine. The past few weeks she'd carved a niche out for herself. If she could put up with him at his worst, they might have a chance of making it work. He had nothing to lose and everything to gain.
"Don't," he said. It held a hard pleading edge to his ears.
Spinning around, she stared at him. "What'd you say?"
"Ain't got no sage advice," he began. "But I love you and want you to stay with me."
"You do?" She blinked. This seemed to be turning around. Skepticism would be the best approach but she couldn't stomp down the hope rising in her chest.
Instead, she leaped the measly few steps she'd walked into his arms. He stumbled back as he caught her, scooping her up into an embrace.
"Me too!" She hugged him hard, afraid to let him go. "I mean, I love you too," she said letting her merriment show in her voice.
It was such a relief to get that off her mind. She'd been so scared to tell him, frightened that there was nothing beyond the bargain. Hearing him say it made her feel a little less adrift.
She wanted a kiss to go with the hug, but she wasn't ready for where that kiss would lead, in a parking lot of all places. Logan wouldn't have any qualms about sex right then and there; she, on the other hand, didn't want to give everyone a show. Pulling back, she settled for a quick kiss. There would be time to show him how he made her feel in a more private place later. "Now what?"
"I can't stay," he stated, reluctantly letting her go. He took her bag and threw it in the backseat. "Got responsibilities in New York."
Rogue nodded and smiled, "Never made it to New York like I wanted to."
"What about Alaska?"
Lifting a shoulder, she wrinkled her nose. "It kinda lost its appeal without you." She caught his knowing smile at the way she played it off, but she was being truthful.
On impulse, he pulled her back into his arms and covered her lips with his. He kissed her thoroughly until she made a little whimpering sound. The way she looked at him when he let her up for a breath filled his heart with hope, giving her a ride had turned sideways on him and he was glad it had.
Maybe if he'd opened up sooner they could have avoided this, then again maybe he needed this lesson. Having Marie in his life made a difference and now he would make sure to let her know more often so there wouldn't be any more misunderstandings. He opened the door for Marie to climb in; he wasn't taking a chance on her changing her mind. "We can easily make Tok and get one of those cabins for the night."
Reaching up, she pinched his cheek. "I might even give you a second chance to show me that feral side." The gleam in her eye was unmistakable, they needed to get going before this led to a free show for any passerby.
Logan swatted her ass as she pulled herself into the cab of the vehicle. To think he'd almost let all that sass slip through his fingers. He had the entire drive back to New York to show her how he really felt, and he didn't need to hide anything from her this time. Although with the way she was running her hand up his thigh and how she was talking, it wouldn't surprise him if they got lost somewhere along the way.
~*~
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