Rogue walked down the metal gangway of the jet toward the rear mansion entrance. Exhaustion was screaming out from every muscle in her body. The past three days had been almost more than she could handle. The failed mission. The bullet in her arm. The cold. The vodka. So much vodka. The two idiots she’d been stuck with who’d been in a two-day long pissing contest over her. The wolf. Logan healing her. She shuddered again as she remembered the base and primal instincts of the wolf as they’d taken over her consciousness for a short time. Logan had saved her. Again.
Fuck. How was she ever going to make things even with him? Prove to him that she didn’t need constant rescue? Show him that she was more than capable of taking care of things herself? Sure, the femoral artery in her leg had been punctured and she’d been close to bleeding out, but she was sure she would have managed something before he’d come along.
But he had come along. Taken care of what needed doing, and brought her back to herself and given her the gift of his mutation so that she would keep living. Keep going. Keep being Rogue. He was a man of strong principles. An unbreakable adamantium fucking backbone that would never allow him to break a promise. Even one that he’d made to a seventeen-year old girl.
She’d felt everything in those few brief moments of contact. His crushing desire to keep her safe. The lingering thoughts from Wolverine about wanting more and Logan’s never-failing response of, No. Whatever his instincts were telling him, the man was shouting them down, refusing to submit to what he believed was best for her.
It was crippling. That desire to keep her safe above all costs, while sacrificing his feelings because of it. Because he thought he wasn’t safe for her. Wasn’t good for her. She almost snorted out loud at this. He really was an idiot.
But still. He was a stubborn idiot. And she couldn’t see a way for her to make him understand. He wouldn’t be hurting her. Goddammit. He would be giving her something she never thought she’d have. How could he not see that? All this time, and yet...nothing. Nothing.
No one had said much on the flight back. Instead, an awkward silence between Scott and the rest of them had settled its oppressive weight on Rogue right after they’d taken off, and the rest of the flight had passed in exhaustive sort of silence. She found herself jerking awake as Scott touched down, having finally succumbed to exhaustion after several hours.
“Clean up. Debriefing room in five minutes.”
Scott’s tone didn’t allow any room for argument, and she sighed as she felt fatigue setting in in a way it hadn’t on the long ride back home. It wasn’t just a physical exhaustion, but a mental one. And she tried to suppress her feelings of frustration as she quietly made her way to the women’s locker room on her own. She avoided looking at either of the men she had spent the last three days with. It was too much right now, all of it.
The locker room, thank god, was empty, and slowly and precisely she shed the torn remnants of her uniform that had become caked in dried blood. Her blood. The wolf. She took a quick sniff to see if she could detect any other scents, wondering if her borrowed senses were still in play. No. Nothing. She frowned as she tossed the uniform in the garbage. It was unsalvageable. She flicked the faucet on to hot, and, silently, she let the scalding hot water pour over her body, steam rising up off her as she exhaled.
She tried not to think about how her body had recoiled when Remy had moved closer to her, both of them drunk on too much vodka. She tried not to think about his hand on the small of her back, how she had let him put it there. How he had leaned in, pressing his lips against her own. How she had torn away, intuitively knowing in that one instant that it was wrong. That she had been wrong, only out to make Logan jealous, to make him pay for being such an ass. For being so god damn stubborn. For not seeing her, who she was, how she was now.
A sudden surge of anger had her twisting the faucet off and throwing back the curtain. She was tired of it. All of it. She grabbed the closest clean towel and began to dry off. She wasn’t a kid anymore. She wasn’t someone that needed protecting. She was strong and powerful, in her own way. She would’ve figured out a way to get herself out of the shitstorm of the facility and the cold.
And the wolf?
It was a question from a voice she didn’t want to have to answer.
It was then she heard a sudden shift, and she knew Kitty was at the door. Quickly, she returned back from the innermost place her thoughts had led her, and smiled brightly as she looked up to the one person she needed to know was truly safe throughout all of this.
Uncaring of the wet towel between them, Rogue threw her arms around Kitty and squeezed tight as she let out a sigh of relief.
“Missed me, huh?” Kitty smiled into Rogue’s damp hair.
“Hell, Kitty. I’m so damn glad to see you,” Rogue said as she released Kitty from her embrace. “You have no idea.”
Kitty smirked at her as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ears. “What? The three of you didn’t have fun on your little camping trip?”
Rogue rolled her eyes at this. “Sure. Fun. Yeah. Stuck between two jackasses who were fighting over who has the biggest dick. Lots of fun.”
Kitty laughed as she sat down on one of the benches. Rogue moved to her locker to change into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. She didn’t care if it wasn't protocol. After three days in the fucking frozen tundra of Siberia, she wanted to be comfortable.
“So tell me,” Rogue said as she zipped up her boots and threaded her fingers through her damp hair. “How did you get back to the jet? What happened after you and Remy were separated in the explosion?”
Kitty smirked at her again. “You know I can walk through walls, right?”
Rogue laughed. “Of course. But what happened on the jet? Why did you guys leave us behind?”
Kitty shook her head. “Rogue, this weapon. It’s the real deal. We need to go to the debrief so that you understand.”
There was so much unsaid in Kitty’s words and it had a pit of uneasiness growing in Rogue’s stomach. She let out a sigh and nodded. “Alright. But I’m so glad you’re okay,” she said as she reached over to squeeze Kitty’s shoulder.
Together they left the locker room and headed up toward the space that Scott had designated as the official debriefing room. Rogue sat herself in the middle of the large wooden table, and waited for the rest of the team to join them.
She wasn’t sure what she was expecting. She wasn’t even sure how to feel, exactly. One by one, she watched the rest of the team entered, and her overwhelming feeling of dread grew. Scott finally entered with a brief nod of his head in her direction, before she felt Logan’s presence descend upon them. He was moody, gruff, as he stalked into the room, eyes on the floor and back to the wall closest to the door. He made no move to join them at the table, and Rogue wasn’t sure if she was relieved or perturbed by his decision.
Still, Rogue frowned as Scott moved to start the briefing. She glanced around at the other team members to make sure she hadn’t missed him. But no. Remy was decidedly absent.
“Let’s get started,” Scott said as he began to pull together some notes that had been spread out on the table.
“Hold up,” Rogue interrupted. “Are we not waiting for Remy?”
Scott cleared his throat uncomfortably as she heard a small growl issue from Logan’s direction. “Remy decided to go back to Baton Rouge. He left the mansion a few minutes ago.”
Rogue felt the slight twinge of guilt as she took in Scott’s words. Remy had left. Because of her. Not that she regretted turning him down, but still. Maybe he could have found a place here, eventually. She hated to think she might’ve prevented him from having a home.
Scott was still awkwardly shuffling papers as he looked at her. Rogue didn’t know how to tell Scott, particularly with the entire team bearing witness, that she was fine with Remy not being here. But instead of her having to tell him to go ahead and get on with it, Logan spared her the humiliation and instead barked out, “Who cares if that swamp rat ain’t here. Get on with it, Cyke.”
Rogue shuddered at the unhampered sound of animosity in Logan’s voice. No lost love there, that was for sure.
“Wolverine, Rogue,” Scott began, “It’s time to catch you up on what the rest of the team has already been made aware of.”
“Bet ya had plenty of time to talk if over on the jet after you left us in fuckin’ Siberia.”
Rogue’s eyes shifted over to where Logan stood. He was barely holding on to his temper. He hadn’t forgiven Scott and the others for abandoning them at the facility. Far from it. Rogue couldn’t blame him either. She wasn’t feeling overly appreciative of Scott’s actions, even if they had been necessary to maintain the integrity of the core team. What Scott had done went against everything that Logan stood for. He would sacrifice himself a million times over if that’s what it took to keep everyone safe. And that, Rogue thought, was the core difference between the two men.
“Well,” Scott answered, a fair bit of heat in his own voice as he glared back at Logan, “it was either that or we all would have ended up dead. And we have too much to do for me to let that happen.”
The muscles in Logan’s jaw were tight, the bands of muscles in his forearms twitching. Rogue knew he was struggling to reign in his temper, and while most of the time a good old fashioned brawl between Logan and Scott was prime entertainment, they had more serious matters to discuss at present.
“It emits sound waves,” Scott was saying, from somewhere far off. Rogue couldn’t focus. She couldn’t make herself listen, even as the team was huddled together, in the cramped space of the debriefing room. Logan had begun pacing in front of the entryway, tension visible in every taut line of muscle. As irritated as she was with him, Rogue couldn’t keep her eyes off him, found herself drawn to his every movement. Shit. Pay attention, she berated herself as she heard Scott saying something about dangerous frequencies.
“That can kill people?” Rogue found herself asking, forcing herself to focus on the briefing.
“No. At least, not yet. But they can affect mutants. Not kill them, precisely, but render their powers useless for hours, maybe days. It’s only a matter of time until it could potentially wipe out human and mutantkind alike.” Rogue could hear the gentle tones of the professor’s voice as he made his way into the room, always at the right moment, always like clockwork.
Rogue could feel Logan’s eyes dart quickly to her, and there was nothing she could do but sit still. What did he want from her? What more could she possibly do or say to shake him awake? Had something changed, or had nothing? He was his typical self, brooding and self-loathing, and yet all she could recall was the feeling of him pressed up against her on that awful, old mattress, telling her to breathe, showing her how to fall asleep. She knew what she wanted. But what did he want?
She could feel her frustration mounting, the more Scott kept talking. Now this news, the knowledge that it was most likely too little, too late. She was selfish for even being entangled in this fucking love triangle, when it was likely that they might all be in imminent danger. For all they had suffered in fucking Siberia, it wasn’t enough. It would take months to gather more intel, to even understand what they were up against. And what they were up against was already too much. There was no way-
“We’re gone however many fucking days, and that’s all you can tell us?” Logan barked, finally pausing from his frantic pacing. Rogue couldn’t help but glance up in his direction, and for the first time since the meeting began, he made eye contact with her. His eyes were fiery, fierce, and Rogue instinctively wanted to half-shudder, half-retaliate with her own snarl. His anger was overwhelming, but also infectious. She was just as frustrated as Logan, but only one of them was acting like an adult. Meanwhile, Scott scowled in Logan’s general direction, before clearing his throat.
“It’s complicated,” Scott finally muttered, his patience wearing thin. No one spoke as he looked around the room once more, and Rogue realized that, as leader, it was his job to say what everyone already knew.
“Whatever it is,” Scott finally added. “It’s biological warfare.”
At this, Rogue actually shuddered. And then, without any notice, Logan had left, out the door as silently as he had entered it. Rogue’s eyes followed him until they couldn’t make out his tall, retreating form any longer. What a fucking mess, she thought.
After the depressing briefing was over, Rogue returned to her room, exasperated. It was funny how so many things had stayed the same, when so many other things had changed. Her book was still propped open on her desk from where she had been reading it before they’d been called out for the mission. The Wood Brothers poster still tacked up on the wall. The lingering sense of peace, when nothing about these past few days had been peaceful. It all felt wrong.
She picked up her book and tried to pick up where she’d left off as she flopped down on the bed. But she found herself re-reading the same sentence over and over again, not taking in any of the words. She threw it off the edge of the bed, letting out a frustrated sigh. Maybe she was just too fucking exhausted and needed some sleep. No vodka. No bullets. No stinking mattresses. Just her own bed and the quiet calm of her room.
She kicked off her boots and closed her eyes, determined to try and rest. Determined to put the past few days behind her. But when she closed her eyes, no matter how much she tried to focus on her breathing, all she could see was the endless white snow. The yellow eyes of the wolf and its matted foul-smelling fur. Remy’s red eyes as he moved closer. The sound of Logan’s growling as he stalked her. The feeling of his lips, his teeth against her neck as she’d felt a hot and quick dart of arousal spreading through her as she found herself submitting. The desire to press against him, open herself to him, use her own teeth against his skin. Taste him, feel him shuddering against her with his own need.
Rogue bolted upright, feeling her heart pound with the remembered intensity of those instincts. There was no way in hell she was going to be able to rest now. Her body was thrumming with unspent energy, with the echoes of adrenaline and lust. And she needed an outlet. Now.
She quickly changed out of her jeans and tshirt into her standard Danger Room gear; black skin-tight workout pants, dark green sports bra, and black workout tank. She decided to forgo her usual combat boots and instead opted for her cross-trainers. She could see programming in some running into her sessions to burn off her nervous energy. She pulled her hair back into a tight braid and twisted it up so it was secure against her head. No loose ponytails for her. Nothing for an enemy to grab hold of.
Rogue headed down the staff hallway and down to the lower levels of the mansion, her blood humming beneath her skin in anticipation of a good fight. But then, noises from the danger room, the doors already sealed shut, meaning it was already in use. She huffed in annoyance as she typed in the code to access the control center, only to see what she already anticipated happening in front of her.
He was there, and he had the settings turned up to Utter Insanity.
An instant feeling of rage coupled with fear surged through her body. She didn’t want him here, and she wanted to tear apart some sentinels, fighting with him back to back. She wanted to run away, and wanted to join him, all at the same time.
She watched momentarily from the control room, stock still and frozen with indecision as he moved animalistically, viciously tearing apart threat after threat. What took her breath away, what really made her pause, was how thoughtless it was. No hesitation. No pause in his actions before he took them. He was his body, and his body was primal, fluid.
Her fingers twitched over the emergency shutdown button while her feet were automatically turning toward the door. She didn’t know what she wanted to do. She was caught between what she wanted and what was safe. And the two didn’t mix. Not for her. Never for her.
She hung her head slightly as she felt the pull of safety winning out over desire and her fingers curled back into a fist as she turned away from the control center. The sudden deafening sound of metal against glass had her jumping and instantly crouching down into a fighting stance, heart racing, eyes wide and alert. She whipped around to face the safety glass that overlooked the Danger Room and saw that severed head of a sentinel tumbling back down to the floor where Logan stood. He was glaring at her. Chest heaving. Claws out. Eyes dark. She couldn’t hear him, but saw the words he mouthed at her nonetheless.
“Get yer ass in here.”
The idea of him ordering her to do anything instantly caused her spine to draw up straight and she glared right back at him. She flipped him the finger as she turned her back to him and headed back to her room. She wasn’t going to fight him. Not when he was in that kind of a mood.
She was moving fast, faster than a brisk pace. But it still wasn’t fast enough. Logan came tearing out of the entrance to the lower level of the Danger Room, just as she had started to slip past it. He’d sheathed his claws and reached out to grab her shoulder.
“Where the hell do you think yer going?” he growled, pressing her back against the door just tight enough for her pulse to quicken.
“Let go, Logan,” she said as she tried unsuccessfully to throw off his grip. She never had been good at breaking close grips. And right now she was in no mood to put up with any more of his surly standoffish self. She took in the grim set of his jaw, the tension coiled beneath a black tshirt, black tactical pants and combat boots. He was almost shaking with anger. And Rogue found herself matching his level of frustration. He wasn’t the only one who had shit to work through.
“What. You afraid I’ll win?”
“Ha,” she let out a short bitter laugh. “We both know that I’m the stronger of the two of us and could kick your ass any day of the week.”
He only stepped closer to her. “Then fuckin’ prove it.”
At this, Rogue raised her lip in a snarl as a new, gritty spark of determination flooded her body. Maybe if he saw what she was capable of, he’d finally stop treating her like a scrawny scared teenager.
“Fine,” she murmured, before she finally shoved him off, striding intently to the Danger Room door again. She could feel his smirk smouldering behind her, which made her anger flare even hotter. Nothing about this, nothing at all, was child’s play.
“So where did all the smoldering rubble and mutant-thirsty sentinels go?” she asked curtly, looking around the now-empty Danger Room.
“Though ya needed to start out easy, kid. You’ve been through a lot the past few days.”
Rogue felt all of her rage and frustration boiling up and for just a moment she wished she’d touched Scott recently so she could blast the hell out of him and that smug-ass look he was sporting clear across the fucking room.
“You put the Danger Room on ‘Toddler’?” She managed to get out through her gritted teeth.
Logan shrugged and stood back at her, arms crossed across his chest. “I call ‘em like I see ‘em,” he finally muttered.
“God. I’m gonna kick your ass, Logan.”
“Don’t get cocky, kid. That’ll be your first and last mistake.”
Rogue forced herself to swallow her temper. While his attitude wasn’t helping her get over all of the frustration that had been bottling up over the past days, no, years, she sure as shit wasn’t going to let him beat her with the Danger Room set to a kiddie-playtime level.
She stopped half-way, turning on her heel in the middle of the empty room and facing him once more. For a moment, she simply smirked, arching a brow before swiftly and effectively changing the settings.
“Switch settings back to Utter Insanity,” she said cooly.
“Override,” Logan immediately growled.
The cool calm voice of the computer came over the loudspeaker, “Override request denied.”
“Goddammit. Override! Authorization code echo-alpha-tango six seven nine.”
“Override request denied.”
“What’s the matter, Logan. You scared?” Rogue knew she was treading on thin ice, but couldn’t help but goad him just as he’d done her. It was time he learned that she could dish it out as well as take it.
Meanwhile, the room was quickly changing, the ground beneath them scorched, the sounds of bullet shells falling to the ground. Everything was suddenly on fire, and Rogue’s grin only widened.
As shrapnel began reigning down, she watched him flinch. And then, the roar of a flatbed being ripped apart, and just as the back half of the vehicle flew in their direction, she felt him up against her, pushing out of the way of the falling debris. As he tackled her to the ground, she only growled, easily wrapping her legs around him and pinning him to the ground.
“The point’s not to save me, Logan,” she muttered. “So quit trying to.”
He shoved her back hard and she twisted around so that she landed on her hands and knees instead of her back. She was on her feet again in an instant, years of training coming easily to her aid.
“You got it, kid.”
She felt herself smiling in anticipation of what was to come. Logan had underestimated her for too long. And after years of training and several rounds of contact with other mutants, she was more than ready to face him in a fight even as the world fell apart around them.
He was already coming at her, but she knew what to do. He was telegraphing his moves, intentional or otherwise, he was being too easy on her. Giving her an opening that she didn’t want. Or need. Instead, she closed her eyes for a moment and focused all of her energy on calling forth Magneto. Even though it had been more than ten years, her long-fought battle for control had taught her how to channel and focus her previous absorptions at will. Logan had nearly reached her when she raised one hand and forced all of that lovely metal beneath his skin to hum in response to her command. She only had a brief moment to laugh as his stunned expression before she tossed him clear across the room, sailing clear past the oncoming sentinel hoard.
She heard him land, and she felt satisfaction and worry all at once. He was up almost instantly, and was snarling as he began to stalk back over to her, barely holding on to the animal.
“Yer not playin’ fair, Rogue,” he growled out at her from across the room.
“Who said anything about fair, Wolverine?” she threw back at him. “You wanted to fight. So let’s fight.”
“I can’t fight you, kid. Not for real,” he muttered, and something in his eyes darkened.
“Stop treatin’ me like a kid. I can take whatever you can dish out.” She could feel recklessness coursing through her as she reached out once more to focus Magneto’s power to toss a wrecked sedan at his head. He snarled as he reached up to shred the metal apart like butter with his claws, the car splitting easily into two pieces on either side of him. She knew she was deliberately pissing him off now, but she couldn’t help it. Ten years of him handling her with kid gloves, treating her like a fragile tender flower. She’d had enough.
“What do you want, Rogue?” he growled, lunging closer to her. He stopped just in front of her, without touching her. And she felt herself starting to sway closer to him.
“I-” she stopped, breathing heavy as she stared back at him, mere inches from hazel eyes. His chest was heaving with effort and she could feel the warmth of his muscles, watched a bead of sweat roll off his temple and disappear against the dark fabric of his shirt. She couldn’t stand it any longer. He was too close, and the memory of his lips against her throat was too fresh. She gripped the front of his shirt with both hands and pulled him close, raising herself up to kiss him. He froze against her as she pressed her lips against his, tasting the sweat of his exertion and she shuddered against him.
His fists were clenched at his side and she felt the sting of rejection coming from him as she broke the kiss.
She stepped back and wiped her lips, closing her eyes against the hurt that threatened to drown her.
“I-I’m sorry,” she said as she turned away. “I thought-” she broke off then. Determined to prevent him from seeing any more of her hurt. “Nevermind.”
Logan hadn’t moved. His breathing was coming fast and hard, and she could see the fluttering pulse at his neck. Jesus, how embarrassing. She blinked back the sting of tears as she took a step toward the exit, thoroughly and completely ashamed of what she’d just done. Maybe she’d read him wrong. Maybe she’d misinterpreted everything he’d ever done for her. Maybe every single one of his actions had been geared toward protecting her and keeping her safe. Without the intent of furthering their relationship past the point of friendship.
Instantly a hard searing pain drove through her as she realized what she’d been hoping for. What she’d wanted for so many years. It was gone in an instant. Leaving behind the hollow empty pain of shattered thoughts.
And then, to her complete and utter shock, the sound of a harsh guttural growl, and a strong and firm grip on her left arm, pulling her backward. She gasped, before she was up against him, and he was kissing her savagely. Disbelief was flooding her body. God, he was kissing her. Logan. Kissing. Her. And suddenly she responded back with the frustration of ten years of wanting. Needing. And going without. She pressed herself close to him, unaware and uncaring of the world around them crashing to their feet. Warmth and acceptance swiftly replaced the hollowness of despair as she kissed him back. Hard. Harder than was good for her. But she couldn’t help it. She needed him. Longing was flooding her body and she found her hips rocking against his, need driving her past all common sense.
“Logan,” she breathed.
“What?” he snarled, before kissing her roughly again.
Just then though, he snarled, instinctively moving her to his left, protecting her from a large, robotic fist decimating the ground where she’d just been.
Rogue looked up at him then, the warm buzz of his kiss lingering on her lips. She’d had no idea of the danger they’d been in. And still. Without a thought for his own safety. He’d protected her. Again.
“C’mon,” he growled. “Let’s get outta here.”
“End program,” she muttered as she grabbed his hand and followed him toward the exit, the world around them instantly going dark and quiet.
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Chapter End Notes:
Sooooo….hiiiii. Sorry it took us so long to post. We were pretty busy with other writing and life things, but we’re totally intent on finishing this project.