Rogue lay on her side in silence, curled up into a ball under the covers.  Another tear ran over the bridge of her nose and down the side of her face, disappearing into the big wet spot on her pillow; Jubes and Kitty were passed out in their own beds, blissfully unaware of her crying only a few feet away.  Thank goodness they were not aware of what had just transpired; it was embarrassing enough already.  As she played out the whole scene in her mind over and over again, she went through the gamut of emotions; anger, when Logan had the nerve to disapprove of her outfit; surprise, then satisfaction when she realized that Logan was looking at her in a way that was very, shall we say, unbrotherly; an immediate rush of desire, when Logan had backed her into the wall and skimmed his hand along her thigh; pure lust mixed with joy as he kissed and touched her body, an act she stupidly assumed meant he reciprocated her feelings for him; and then finally, horrible, sickening realization that Logan's date was still there, sleeping on the couch just feet away.

Rogue could feel her face turning red at the thought.  How desperate she must have appeared;  Logan barely even touched her and within seconds she was practically spreading her legs for him to take her right then and there in the foyer.

She could just hear her mama lecturing her now.  Wait for the right person, Marie.  Someone who loves you.  Respects you.  Well, wouldn't her mama be proud.  Rogue was about to throw away her virginity on a meaningless fuck, with someone who obviously didn't respect or love her. 

Rogue drew in a ragged sigh and flipped onto her back, staring at the ceiling.  Ever since she learned to control her mutation, she had been itching to catch up on all the physical contact that she missed out on when she was a teenager.  How many times had she fantasized about all the social experiences she would garner once she was touchable?  Being kissed, being touched, being made love to...hell, being fucked senseless in a one night stand, she admitted if she was being honest with herself.  But when it came down to it, fantasy was all it was.

The very same day that Rogue had bounded into her room and proudly announced to her roommates that she had finally learned control, Jubilee had spread the word through every social circle she knew.  Next thing Rogue knew, she had a slew of guys lined up for a date and her dance card was full for weeks.  She went out with a few, even let a few kiss her.  They were all nice boys.  But those boys were not what she wanted.

Rogue huffed to herself.  If she had known that Logan would continue to brush her off as a kid, only to turn around later and treat her like one of his cheap, slutty dates...well, she might not have been so quick to toss aside those boys without a thought.  Ugh, so much wasted time, pinning her hopes on Logan, thinking she could ever be more to him.

Rogue got out of bed and slipped into the bathroom to take a shower.  As the hot spray hit her shoulders, she sighed and tilted her head back to let the soothing water run down her body.  She wished she could wash away those pesky feelings for Logan that stubbornly pervaded in her heart as easily as she washed away the soap from her skin.  It would make her life so much simpler if she could just turn off her emotions.  Or at least turn off the ones that made her want Logan.

She should be busy hating him right now, writing him off for good.  This man was like a bad habit that she needed to break, an addiction that she needed to kick.  Instead, she let her mind idly wander back to the moment when Logan's hands were sliding up her hips beneath her dress...his hot mouth on her lips and then down her neck...feather light touches grazing over her nipples...fingers finding their way up her inner thigh...little moans escaping her lips...

"Dammit!" she cursed, looking down with realization.  She was touching herself, again!  Another Logan addiction she seemed helpless to resist, she thought wryly.  Ugh, she was so weak.  She turned off the water and quickly wrapped herself in a towel, trying not to think about the feel of the fabric brushing over her sensitized skin.  She stepped out of the tub and walked over to sink.  For a long moment, she just stood there, staring at the foggy mirror.  What was she doing?  Is this what she had been reduced to?  She didn't remember another time in her life when she allowed all pride and self-respect to fly right out the window like this.  A blurry shadow of herself stared back at her through the fogged mirror.

This wasn't her.  She was stronger than this.  The Rogue she knew was smart, sassy, tough, independent and confident; not this tearful, pathetic person who allowed herself to be grateful for whatever scraps a man was willing to throw her.  If Logan didn't want to be with her--really be with her, not like the travesty that happened downstairs--it was his loss, not hers!  She was tired of living her life in limbo, waiting for him to come to his senses and hinging her happiness on whether or not he returned her feelings.  This simply would not do.  No, not any more.

"Get busy livin', or get busy dyin'", she murmured to herself.  Well, she planned on living.  No more feeling sorry for herself.  No more following Logan around like a puppy dog.  No more arranging her schedule so that she could just "happen" to bump into Logan, and no more acting like a lovesick fool.  And certainly no more letting her good sense fly out the window just from a single touch by Logan!  Her mind was made up; things were going to be very different from now on.

Rogue wiped her hand across the mirror.  Two fierce brown eyes stared back at her through the streak in the fog.  She saw something in those eyes that she hadn't seen in a long time, and immediately she was reminded of Iris, the heroine of her favorite movie, The Holiday.  She and Iris had quite a bit in common, Rogue mused.  They were both strong, vibrant women who needed start acting like it and stop mooning over a man who would never appreciate them.

"You're supposed to be the leading lady of your own life, for god's sake!" she said, wiping the rest of the fog away.  She lifted her chin and fixed her steely gaze on the woman in the mirror, straightening her back and squaring her shoulders as her conviction grew.

"Who are you talking to?" Jubilee yawned as she shuffled into the bathroom.

"To myself, Jubes.  Channeling my inner Iris.  Apparently I needed a good talking to."

Jubilee paused and looked at Rogue.  "Um, ok...So, how'd it go with Wolvie?"

Rogue turned her face and looked at Jubilee.  "Don't ask.  It doesn't matter anyway.  I'm done with all of that.  I'm done with him."

Jubilee cocked an eyebrow.  "Really."  Her voice carried a tone of disbelief.  "Done with Logan."

"Done with Logan."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

There was long period of silence as Jubilee wrapped her head around this interesting turn of events.  She found it hard to believe that Rogue could or would quit Logan cold turkey like this.  Rogue didn't just have a crush on the thick-skulled ape; she loved him.  And you don't simply stop loving someone just because you make up your mind to stop loving him.

Still, Jubilee couldn't help thinking that maybe this was a good thing for Rogue.  Maybe a good thing for Logan, too.  It was about time Rogue started enjoying herself, especially now that she was touchable.  And Logan...well, Logan would figure it out eventually and get his head out of his ass.  In the meantime, Rogue would have a little fun, and maybe learn a little something about herself.  Jubilee didn't know where this sudden conviction came from, but she was glad to see Rogue show a little sass.

"Well alright, then," Jubilee said with a nod.  "Girl, I don't know what's gotten into you, but I like it."

Rogue smiled at herself in the mirror.  "I don't know...but I think what I've got is something slightly resembling...gumption!"

Logan waited until the last student exited the gym before heading to the door himself.  He was hoping that this time, when he walked out into that hallway, Rogue would be waiting for him to walk her to lunch like she usually did, but he knew that she wouldn't be.  He hadn't seen her for days.

He knew he had fucked up.  But he was kind of hoping that she would cool off after a day or two of ignoring him and they could go back to normal.  Normal meaning Marie doting on him while he went about his business, enjoying said doting whenever the opportunity presented itself.

They had this routine they followed when he did something to piss her off, and it was always the same.  First, she'd give him the silent treatment.  That never lasted long.  Then, slowly, she'd come around little by little, starting with an occasional glance casted his way, which eventually would progress to eye contact; then allowing reluctant one-word answers to his pointed questions.  He'd joke and tease her a little, flash a charming smile, and despite herself, she'd crack a smile and then he'd know that he was off the hook.  That night, she'd find a way to let him turn her up sweet without him even trying; maybe she'd just happen to be in the lounge with a plate of nachos when he was heading there to watch the hockey game or something.  He'd plop down next to her uninvited, reach for her nachos, and she'd give him that look--part 'oh no you didn't' and part secretly pleased.  He loved that look.

They'd banter back and forth for a minute or two, which would turn into laughs, and next thing you know, she'd be leaning on his arm, watching the game with a smile on her face.  The next day she'd be back to her usual self and all would be right with the world.

Logan knew it wouldn't be that easy this time. 

He still wondered how things had escalated so quickly that night, and winced at how quickly things had gone downhill.  One thing was for sure; the way Rogue looked that night, the way her luscious body felt in his hands, the way she tasted...how ready she was for him right then and there...well, let's just say that her grown-up status hit him like a ton of bricks.  His cock was growing hard just thinking about it.

He did feel bad about how things went down, what with Lisa or Linda or whatever the hell her name was, sawing logs in the rec room while he and Marie were getting intimate.  He wasn't deliberately trying to be disrespectful of Rogue; he just...God, when he saw that flash of creamy white skin on her thigh, and she started making those little sounds and responding to his touch...all common sense and reasonable thought just flew out the window.  He just couldn't think of anything else besides needing to hear his name, breathlessly wrung from her luscious lips over and over again...

Logan growled at the memory, causing a passing student to squeak and scurry out of his way.  He cleared his throat and then looked up and down the hall for Rogue.  No sign of her anywhere.  Shit.  Well, maybe she needed just a little more time to come around, and then they could get back to normal.  And maybe, now that she had a little taste of Logan, she'd want to come back for the whole meal.  Hmm.  Maybe that could be the new normal, Logan thought hopefully.  But he was getting ahead of himself.  First things first; they were already in stage one of their Marie-is-pissed-at-Logan routine.  Now all he had to do was move them on to stage two, which was getting her to cast furtive glances his way, and the ball would be set in motion.