"The light's wrong."
She's curled up on my chest and that's the first thing she says as she starts coming to. It's morning and the sun's not high but it's reflected off the snow, off the bonnet and dazzling us pouring in. I guess it ain't like southern light. I wonder what that'd be like. Thick, I'd think, thick and hot like honey and cream.
How we ended up tangled together in my seat is a question I just know she's gonna ask when she comes to but for now, she's still sleepy for now and I wanna stay here. Holding this girl, well damn it to hell, it sure don't feel like anything else. No one can accuse the Wolverine of being a gentleman and I certainly know what to do with a woman when it's dark outside and she's warm and willing in my arms. And I can't say I haven't been thinking of her since back at the bar. The way she moved, that walk that just radiated innocence and made the sway of those hips even more enticing. Something about her just making me hungry and I couldn't even see her legs.
Now I know what I like, and it's a woman with long legs and long hair. Red heads do it for me, and I want women who know what they want and know how to give it too. I ain't got time for little girls who want a crack at the King of the Cage, I got no time for any inexperienced fingers fumbling round me, I want to get off and I don't want no tears after nor Papas waving shotguns.
So why I'm holding this girl all cradled up against my chest I just don't know. I can feel her breath warm on my neck. She just went flat out last night, she whipped me out with that speech and then tucked up and tuckered out. When it got too late I pulled over and she was just so lonesome over there. No, wait, I am the Wolverine and I don't even think words like that. God dammit, oh shit. Got to stop with the growling, I'm gonna wake her up again.
Who knew she'd talk in her sleep? Soft little murmurs all night long. Like seein into her dreams or some shit. I dunno. It was good anyway, felt good.
So she was there all cold and I got a sleeping bag but she ain't. I hate the cold anyway, with all the metal in my I can't stand it, gets right into my bones and it ain't gonna kill me but it hurts like a bitch. Course she'll freeze without a bag so I just y'know, put us in together. I know about her skin but who gives a shit? With us both wrapped up like mummies it didn't make no difference. I just turned my collar up a settled her down on my chest so her head was on my pecs rather than all up on my shoulder. She's so tiny an I ain't a small guy it's like she fitted there anyways.
Huh, I don't sneak a peek or nothin, not even when she's fidgeting and fussing in her sleep, rubbin up and down me. Aw, god damn those little noises, but there's something else here. I dunno, I think it's her smell or something it makes me feel, like calmer or some shit, she's soothing. So she shuffled and snuggled her way up in the night an as much of a treat as that was, her lips pressed close to my neck now, with just that long old hair of hers in between us. I can feel her breath moving, taste her, know she's breathing me in, taking my scent as her waking breath. That's something better than all the sweet wriggles and long legs in the country.
Huh, she's gone all tense, every muscle in her taunt, hard. All the softness of her, the warmth and the brightness of the snow light flickering over us - gone. It's business now. I can tell in her scent, she is on the alert, I'm starting to pick up on her and this one is when she feels threatened. Damn I'm stuck between heaven and hell now.
What the dammit to hell are you supposed to do when you've got a messed up military woman who can murder with a movement tucked up over your body like a sweet kitty cat?
I'm gonna go with disarmament,
"Hullo darlin' ",
And maybe it ain't playing fair that I cut that one with a nice growl and I know she felt those vibrations, she's pinned up against my chest and if I'm not mistaken, she really felt them. And being as close as we are it's not the kind of thing I can be mistaken about it you get my meaning.
What the...?
I'm up against the door on the other side and she's looking right at me. I don't know who's in those eyes but it ain't Marie.
"Hey, baby, I'm sorry, it's ok. It was safe, you were just cold, while you were sleeping. It was dangerous, you could get sick. I wrapped you up and held you next to me. Marie, it's me, Logan, I gave you a ride, remember?"
"Logan"
"Yes, Logan, that's right baby. Darlin, come on.", It's a flashback. I can see that, it's not her in there, or she isn't here now, just barely. She smells of rage not terror. This is a girl who likes her control. And ain't that a thought, especially with the strength she has, I've never met a woman who could.... No. Brain in gear, no fantasising in life threatening situations.
"Logan"
"Marie, how bout you let me down darlin, I'm gonna be over here, and you'll be there, we can get on driving in a minute and get on to the next town. How bout some breakfast there then huh? Coffee and pancakes, huh?"
She switched and just slumped forward. Oh baby, what happened to you?
"Marie, listen darlin, I ain't sure what's goin on, but I ain't gonna hurt you, darlin you need to know that."
"Ah know. Logan, it's not, Ah can't control it always, it's a reaction. Ah do, Ah trust you."
She's gathering herself, drawing herself together, and there's shades of martial arts in there damn that girl is a mystery and she'd be a trip to spar with too. Oh yeah..
"Logan!"
Trusting me. Trusting. Me. I don't think I've ever had that before. I don't know what to do with it, how do I do that?
"Logan, Ah'm sorry, Ah...."
"Sorry baby, just uh, distracted a little."
"Ah, ah was travelling at first, and I hitched a ride with some boys travelling back from one of the southern bases, they were army guys and they were heading north home. Ah, thought Ah'd be safe with some of our armed forces. They're defenders you know?"
Aw damn, this girl just glowed with naivety. She must have been a glowing beacon and life just rained dickheads in her path.
"So Ah hitched a ride an told them Ah was visiting my aunt in Minnesota. Ah thought Ah could get over the border there. They were young the guys, Ah thought they had just come out of basic training but they hadn't. They were specialists."
"Spec ops, black ops, baby?"
Paused, "Yes, there was one. He, he.... I have his powers now. He wasn't a mutant but when he touched me he wouldn't let go and now Ah have him in my head and all he knew and so now Ah do this, things like this. The training Logan, you wouldn't believe it, it's not human, it makes you into a machine. You know one day Ah was hitching and Ah heard the bullet. The silencer was on, it was just men shooting at strange cars, bad neighbourhood you know. But Ah heard the bullet release and Ah threw myself backwards and snapped the car seat in half. That's him, he knew."
Oh no, it's all familiar, all too familiar. She don't look like a weapon but she sure carries herself like one. That's how she can walk into that shithole of a bar like that. I've heard about how they train those guys, it's into killing machines. Most of them don't live past 30, they get used up, the tension, or on the missions.
"I would believe it Marie."
"What? You're not..."
"No, I'm not military, well, I'm not now, maybe I was."
She looks confused, I'll show her the tags. I don't want to tell her this story, don't wanna dirty her with it. But, she understands, she deserves to know. After all, she showed me hers.
"Marie, I don't remember nothing more than 15 years back. I woke up in the snow with claws, healing a feral side that won't let go and more military knowledge than the forces out together. They made me this Marie, I don't know who but it all fits. I was built as a weapon."
"Oh Logan."
That's warmth that is, her gaze feels like fire. I dunno what to do, I feel all, I dunno. I wish she'd stop staring at me, it's making me wanna do stupid shit like grab her and kiss her. Tell her she's the first woman to accept me, to get me, and I wanna have her. I wanna have all of her, all she has I wanna take it and then together we can be more. I...
"Ah just wanna live my life. Ah wanna be free to be safe. Ah want to, ah don't know. To paint and plant flowers and buy shoes and make mistakes and figure things out and not have to run and not know how to kill people and Ah don't know how Ah can have that. That's why Ah keep moving Ah guess. Lookin for home, huh, a cliche to the last..."
I'm just gonna take her hand, well not her hand she still ain't got the gloves back on, take her wrist and just hold on to her a minute cos I have to touch her right now I have to. Her dream that's, that sounds good. I know she's moving on, I know she's a fine woman and she has options even if she don't know them but a sanctuary, a place where she can get her feet under her, I know a place like that. I'm mean New York ain't that far away...
"Hey Marie?"
She's all curled up again now, trying to pull fingers through all that hair, slipping her little stockinged feet inside those boots, settling into her self, she was so brave then, so vulnerable. This has been a big morning for both of us, I think we need some space.
"Marie, how about breakfast?"
It's not all she asked for, I have to think on that but, breakfast is good too. She's smiling and that lights up everything. I'm gonna put the truck in gear and get going now. Still a long drive to the dinner and I got an itching to see how she does with pancakes, I can just see her licking syrup offa those sweet fingers...
And that's when all hell broke loose.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
So the good news is that my voice is coming back. The bad news is that even though I wrote a 2000 word article this morning, replied to 20 emails, planted beans and peas, made a mushroom log for the garden, and dinner of sweet potato soup with spiced peppers and southern corn bread, as soon as I have 10 mins not working my only desire is to write this fic! Am winding down for bed by writing this and doing 45 minutes of yoga. It's not normal. Oh, well, I'm corrupted now so on with the fic goodness.
Chapter End Notes:
Reviews are very welcome as always! Gratitude x