Rogue:
Month 4, June
‘If he doesn’t stop hovering I’m going to leave,’ I thought as I lay in bed, which was practically the only thing Logan would let me do, sleep... But even that meant he shared the bed with me, a lot. ‘Yeah, go right ahead… That worked so well last time.’ Logan’s here in bed with me now and he’s asked me for the four-hundred and twenty-second time if I was comfortable and if I needed anything. “Logan. Stop. I’m okay. Go to a bar or somethin’,” I told him. My instincts told me that he needed to relax and soon. ‘God, I would even be happy if he tried to fuck Jean… Okay, maybe not so much that. Maybe I could deal with him getting a hand job from her. That’s right, I said maybe… But then Hell would have to freeze over before I actually agreed to it.’ Ever since I woke up this mornin’ he’s been attentive but that’s a nice word for pain in the ass. He was always asking from sun up to sundown, if I was hungry, comfortable, or sleepy. It was getting old fast. I was only four months and was fine and from what Hank said, I could do whatever I wanted with some limits. “Everything in moderation,” he said and I quote. At my last appointment I asked him if that meant I couldn’t kill Logan, Hank just laughed at me.
Thinking of Hank made me think of those girls, Jubes and Kitty. If Logan had to go somewhere he’d sick one of them on me. They reported everything I did back to him. I almost killed the cat, oops I mean Kitty the other day. She told Logan that I was in Remy’s room for hours with the door locked. Logan cornered Remy and was saying something, I’m sure it was a threat. I stepped in between them, “If you hurt Remy, Logan so help you God, I’ll leave.” This was a bluff, really and he knew it. I could leave the mansion for some things but if I thought about going to Victor or not coming back, my body would cripple me and he knew that too. After that little encounter he put me on Wolverine mandated bed rest. He wouldn’t let me out of his sight I think because he sensed that there was some truth in my threatening to leave. My body might have been hampered by leaving but I could have made it to the garage to ‘borrow’ a car for a few days, or called a cab to meet me on the outside of the gate. It might not have been improbable to escape, but it was possible. Now that I think about it, that’s what probably scared him, the most, whether he wanted to admit it or not. Not that I ‘could leave, but that I ‘would’ leave…
Life was awesome sauce. My baby could control me and Logan was trying. “GO-A-WAY. Please Logan, you’re driving me nuts. Look, go get Jubes, or Kitty, or hell Jean, we’ll go shopping or somethin’. Just stop.” The look on Logan’s face made me want to apologize but I held back. I needed a break from his constant worry. He was stressing me and Lil’ Lo out. Yes, I know it sounds stupid but it’s better than Jubes’ name: Wolf Babe. I could have died but Logan just grinned. I respected Kitty, Jubes, and Logan’s relationship but when it comes to the baby, I let them know. I shut that down from the get go and now she calls the baby Rolo. I let her have it ‘cause it was cute.
But back to Logan. He sighed, “Okay. I’ll go find them.” I felt relieved as he left. I couldn’t help but think he was waiting for me to tell him I loved him. I frowned; Hell would freeze over before I told another man I loved him. I was thinking about waking up in his arms for the past month and how much I felt lost when he wasn’t there. Yeah I loved him, he was the father of my child and I felt safe with him. Like I was home, but that didn’t mean I was going to say it out loud. I managed to ‘carefully’ dash into the bathroom with my jeans and a tie-dyed t-shirt to get dressed. I made it back to the bed before the gang was about to descend on me. After about ten minutes of peace Logan walked in with both Kitty and Jubes. I was brushing my hair up into a ponytail as I sat on the bed. I stood up, looked down at my stomach, and it didn’t look like I was pregnant. It looked like I had a Buddha belly, the laughing Buddha as he was called, but I wasn’t laughing. I put a hand on my belly as I walked toward them. “Ready?” I asked. Kitty smiled at me and I realized I did like them, it was just hormones. Jubes asked, “Where we going?”
I grinned at them, “I was thinking we could go baby shopping. I need basics and then we can register for the baby shower.” Both girls began to squeal, Logan smirked as he plugged his ears because of the noise level. When they settled down, he pulled me into his arms. I knew he hadn’t expected that and he realized that I was trying. I pulled away and the girls followed me out to my car. Kitty peeped, “Are you supposed to drive?” Okay maybe I didn’t like her as much as I thought. “Hank said it was fine. Get in.”
We ended up at Babies R Us. Walking in, I felt overwhelmed… There was so much stuff. I pulled out my list I had written down during one of my long escapes in the bathroom.
Baby Needs
1. Breast pump.
2. Bottles.
3. Crib.
4. Clothes.
5. Blankets.
6. Diapers.
7. Pacifiers.
8. One of those bouncy things.
9. A Name.
10. A new mother?
I sighed. There were only a few things on the list I could get right now. “Okay let’s start with clothes.” “But we don’t know if it’s a Boy or Girl.” “Kitty, they have unisex clothes.” “What does that mean?” I was walking around looking for the newborn aisle. A-ha. I lead them down to the end where there was a rack of onesies. They were white, yellow, or green. I picked up a few of each color, and one of blue, and pink. “I don’t think Logan would like if you dressed his son in pink.” I thought about what Logan would look like if I dressed our son in pink and started laughing. “You’re right Jubes, but this is just in case.”
We ended up spending almost three hundred dollars on basics alone. I was glad I had saved my money from my ‘jobs’. “Ya’ll wanna go get somethin’ to eat?” My accent was heavy and I winced. Damn, must be tired. I handed my keys to Jubes, “If you kill us or scratch my car your D-E-A-D got me light bright?” Jubes smirked, “Got it. Where we going to eat?”
When we got back to the mansion Kitty and I were asleep in the backseat. I felt someone lift me up and then I felt someone removed my shoes, and my jeans being removed. Damn, I wished he’d stop hovering. The next morning, I woke up to yelling and growling, ‘what the hell was going on?’
“Logan, I’m not a child. I can sleep with whoever I want.”
“Yeah, well, the way you’re acting right now is proving you wrong.”
“It’s not like I’m planning on marrying him. It’s just sex.”
I wondered who they were yelling about. “Yeah, that’s all it’ll ever be with that swamp rat. He don’t want anything but ass.” ‘Oh, Remy was always getting in trouble.’
“I believe that is my swamp rat you’re talking about.” Both Jubes and Logan turned toward me. Logan looked pissed, meanwhile Jubes looked relieved.
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