Rogue:
‘I hate when I get trapped in my own head when I’m stressed. You just had to save Remy didn’t you…?’ She thought as she sighed. ‘I’m now sitting on a porch swing chastising myself because I put my child at risk. ‘What kind of mother does that? Am I going to make it as a mother if I can’t even protect the kid before it’s born?’ Rogue was going through some natural pre-birth fears. ‘I can smell the honeysuckle in the air. This was where Marie lived when things got hard and I loved it when I was being tortured and in pain. This is where I would come, this little patch of heaven in my mind. I looked down at myself; I’m dressed in a white cocktail dress. Only Marie thought I had the right to wear white. “Marie, I know your there. I’m not mad.” She walked out and let the screen door slam. She was my age but she looked different. Her eyes were brown and innocent. Her hair lacked the white stripes and she still wore gloves. I smiled at her, who needed best friends when I had one inside my head.
She sat down beside me, smoothed out her lovely pastel peach colored sundress, and folded her hands in her lap. She was no slouch, but I watched as she relaxed her back on the natural cedar wood of the swing. “Why did you lie to him?” I looked out over the yard which was surrounded by a white picket fence and felt the guilt coming. I looked at Marie and said, “Because I was scared.” She nodded, “I know, but you could have let him know you were pregnant.” “Marie. Stop. He is in love with someone else, what can I do? He would have felt honor bound to marry me or take care of me. I’m not comfortable with that.” She shook her head at me, “You can’t lie to me, Rogue. You love him, but you’re scared because of Stryker. You’re scared that Stryker’s training will kick in and you’ll kill him.”
I stood up and started to walk away when she grabbed me, “Rogue you need to trust yourself around him. You trust Remy, why can’t you just let go for once?” “Because of what happened in Japan.” Marie looked confused and said, “I don’t remember Japan.”
“Of course you don’t.” I turned to look at a blond in a silk green kimono. “Carol. Don’t do this she isn’t ready. Marie go back inside.” Carol smiled and walked toward Marie. “Hello Marie, would you like to hear what happened in Japan, why you don’t remember, and why Logan didn’t realize Rogue was pregnant.”
I felt defeated. I was too tired to fight Carol. It was hard enough to keep my personality at the forefront. Fighting her would just allow her to take control. Marie looked at me. She saw the fear there and knew I didn’t think she was ready, but she nodded. Carol smiled and looked at me, “Well Mommy dearest, you might as well as get comfy.”
Carol set beside Marie on the swing and I set in the rocking chair. My eyes were watching Marie’s face. Carol leaned back, “Let’s start at the beginning. The reason she ended up in Japan. Rogue had just finished delivering the briefcase that contained the Suppression Collar. She had only met a few of the Brotherhood and now she was going to meet a higher up. When Eric or Magneto, whatever you wish to call him, called for Sabretooth, Roguie didn’t realize it was Victor. Well, you know how she feels about Victor right?” Carol paused to look at Marie, “I thought I did, ‘till she went with him.”
“You’re not the only one. She had loved him once, or so she thought she did, but he left her in that lab with Stryker.” Carol laughed and I growled, “If you’re going to tell get on with it. I would like to see my child born.”
Carol waved her hand at me, “Anyway, you know how crazy she gets when she’s hurt. She ripped Victor’s throat out and then knocked Eric on his ass. But you know that already. So Rogue decided to leave the country figured it would be safer. She flipped a coin to see if you would be going to Japan or Australia; should have gone to Australia… Anyway, she went to Japan and met up with that Samurai Guy from the Clan Yashida. Go figure that our little Rogue likes the bad guys, but back to the story. She and he ended up having a fling; although I don’t think you want to tell Wolvie that. She was working for a gang and sleeping with the enforcer; they gave her an assignment that she really didn’t want to do.”
Marie looked so confused and hurt, I wanted to kill Carol but she was already dead. “Rogue had to go after someone who had offended The Lady, the boss, The Jeffe, The-““Okay Carol, we get it.” “Fine. Her target was a woman who was in the city by herself. This woman had a mission of her own and Rogue interfered by seducing said woman and sucking the life out of her. That’s how I got to be here.” Marie gasped and stared at me. “But, we were talking about why she won’t trust and why Logan can’t smell the baby right? The Samurai Guy decided she was too much of a risk and decided she would be better off dead. Thanks to my wonderful powers she survived. Once he realized that, he started hunting her with a feral. She had figured out how to hide her emotions from Victor a long time ago. So she just took that and applied it to her scent.”
“You know you talk way too much. Some days I wish I could kill you all over again. Marie, I hid this from you for reasons Carol didn’t disclose. He hurt me. Not just my feelings, but physical and you didn’t need that after everything else I let you see. So I shut it out for you. Without you, we are nothing Marie.” Those big brown eyes that would never let me forget why I protected myself stared at me, “You would be something Rogue. Heartless, cold, distant, and hard. You’d be the perfect assassin if you just got rid of me. Kill me Rogue, so you can be free.”
Carol and I both stood up, “No, I will not. GAWD DAMNIT CAROL!” I screamed at Carol as I started pacing. Marie started crying and Carol was watching me. Then everything went black. That was never a good sign. I stood in blackness and was starting to panic when I heard a voice, “Rogue, I’m here to help you.”
I snorted, that was a laugh. Charles Xavier stood before me, “Yeah, Yeah. You ain’t the first to say that sugah and guess what, when people help me, I end up almost dying.” He was watching me, I started pacing again. That was never a good sign when I pace, it usually means I going to lash out. “Why are you still unconscious?” “Because everyone in my head is out vying for the main role in this picture babe. I can’t think and focus at the same time.” Exhausted, mentally, physically, and emotionally, I fell to my knees and looked up at Charles, “I’m so tired Charles. I want to let go but I have to think about my child. My child is the only reason I’m even this much alive.”
Charles sat down beside me and just stared out into space. I could tell he didn’t know what to say. When he finally looked back at me, “What has to happen for you to come back to the real world?” I sighed and thought about it. I could come back now, but I would just sleep. There was also Marie, who I know is now hiding from me. She probably hates me from hiding things from her, but I wanted her to stay innocent. I took a deep breath, “I need you to help me cage them back up. After that I need a few hours.” He nodded, “Let’s get started then. I will follow your lead.”
After hours of putting people back in their cages, Charles left me. I finally relaxed and was on the porch swing when Marie approached. She set down beside me, “Rogue, I forgive you. Just like Remy forgave you. You tried to protect me and I love you for that. Now go back and see Remy. Talk to Logan.” I just nodded and knew that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.
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