For me, insanity is super sanity.
The normal is psychotic.
Normal means lack of imagination,
lack of creativity.
-Jean Dubuffet
YEAR ONE
Do you think past lives are a possibility? I keep having these graphic and intense dreams of a different life I could’ve had. I don’t seem to dream of anything else, and that frightens me. I see this possible life and I shudder, the reason this unnerves me is because I see myself in these dreams. I walk the shoes of my dream ego feeling what she feels and seeing what she sees, and even though I know this version of me isn’t real I feel guilty at how pathetic I think she is. How sad is that to think of yourself as pathetic, especially a version of yourself that doesn’t exist. It’s gotten worse over time, now even in my waking moments I see this alternate ego plaguing me.
Some days while I complete my daily chores or if I’m just simply living my life I see her. She’s nearly covered head to toe with clothes including fine silk gloves on both of her hands, and she also has a unique white streak in her hair, and even though me and her share the same face we don’t share these qualities.
As much as I want to ignore her presence in my life my desirous curiosity outweighed my concern. I started to wonder why I was seeing her after all this time, and I started wondering if I was going crazy. Is it normal to see things other people can’t see?
Trying to understand my situation I went to the professor for help.
“Hello Rogue. What do I owe the pleasure of your company?”
She was standing right behind him, and it seemed like every time I saw the apparition her eyes were becoming hollow and her skin losing its alabaster color with peach undertones.
“Rogue?”
Shaking off the vision I turned my attentions back to the professor.
“Sorry professor.” I took a deep breath and proceeded to tell him what has been going on with me. “ Professor I’ve been seeing things lately well to be more specific I’ve been seeing a ghost-like version of myself, and even for me this isn’t normal.”
The professor looked at me like I was a crazy person. “You’re going to have to be a little more specific for me Rogue.”
~maybe I am going crazy~
“I don’t know how to explain it. It kind of looks like an astral-projection of me.”
“Hmm interesting. How long have you been seeing this projection of yourself?”
“It’s hard to remember when it started exactly maybe a few weeks.” I really started thinking as to when I started seeing this other version of myself and I honestly couldn’t remember—kind of like the beginning of a dream it just starts to fade away the deeper you fall asleep.
“Come see me later on today Rogue, I’d like to do a telepathic session with you. Come back to my office around three.”
“Okay professor I’ll be back around three.”
Deciding to skip breakfast I headed back to my room. Setting my alarm to go off at two I went back to sleep because I was feely oddly fatigued.
I saw her walking around and tried to follow her, it also didn’t escape my attention that each time I saw her she was becoming more ghost-like and transparent she would become. I felt like she was finally within my reach when all the sudden I could hear this weird beeping noise.
My eyes snapped open to the blaring sound of the alarm clock. Groggily getting out of bed I switched out my pajamas for a pair of baggy sweats then removing the t-shirt I had on I slipped on one of my fitted tees.
Walking into the bathroom I looked at myself in the mirror. I couldn’t help but notice my skin was paler than usual, and my eyes had a grey tinge to it similar to eyes that belong on a corpse.
~This is getting out of control~
It didn’t take me to long to get ready so I made my way down to the professors office. Knocking on the door he responded by saying ‘come in.’
“Hi Professor”
“Rogue, are you okay?”
It didn’t take a genius to figure out he was talking about my appearance, even though I took care of my toiletries and put some light makeup on I knew it didn’t hide my pale skin, and dark circles.
“Just tired, but can we get to the point professor?”
“Yes Rogue,lie down on the futon over there.”
I took two strides over to the futon near the back of his office, and then I laid my body down horizontally on the futon. The professor rolled his wheelchair to the top of the futon where my head rested.
“Relax this won’t hurt.”
I closed my eyes so I could relax, the last thing I felt was the tickling of his telepathic presence in my mind as we both went deeper into the crevices of my mind.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry about the long wait I lost direction with this story but finally after much deliberation I'm back on track.
Chapter End Notes:
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