"Marie, what the hell do you think you're doin'?"
"What does it look like? I'm suiting up."
"Yeah, I see that, but what I mean is why. You weren't assigned to this mission."
"Neither were you, but I figured since the mighty Wolverine can get away with disregarding the Professor's orders then I can do the same."
"That's different. You need—"
"I need to what? What do I need to do that is so important I can't back my friend up when he's stupidly going after someone who can easily kill him, huh? I fail to see why I need to still be treated like a scared teenager when it comes to Magneto."
"Damn it, Marie! Just stay!"
"Don't shout, Logan. Anyway, you're wasting your breath. I'm coming; I already traded assignments with Kitty. She always preferred the technical side of missions anyway, so she doesn't mind."
"Why are you so willing to risk your safety? Just stay home like a good kid."
"Logan, open your eyes; I'm not a damn kid anymore! I'm going with you because I can't stand to wait around, going crazy while wondering what's going to happen to you."
"And I can't have you with me! You heard the Professor; Magneto might still be after you."
"I'm coming."
"The hell you are—"
"You can't tell me what I can and can't do, Logan! I will not stay while the man I love is in danger of getting turned inside out. I still remember what he did to you on the train."
"Uh…"
"Logan… damn it Logan, what is it?"
"You love me?"
"What?"
"You love me."
"I—wait—I—no—"
"Yeah, you did."
"I didn't mea—no, that's a lie. I did mean it. I'm sorry."
"No, don't apologize."
"Alright, I love you, Logan. I'm not sorry for it."
"Okay."
That was the first time she told me she loved me.
Actually, come to think of it, that's the only time she told me she loved me. After that day she started doing her best to avoid me.
You see, I haven't said the words back.
To be honest, I'm not completely sure I do love her. I care about her. I'm certain of that, but love? Even when I had my sights set on Jean I wasn't sure I loved her. Anyway, what can I compare my feelings to? I don't remember ever being with anybody longer than a few nights. I never felt the need to.
Before I met Marie, I was a brutal and selfish bastard who didn't give a damn about anybody.
I was the fuckin' Wolverine.
Somehow she managed to turn me soft with one look into her innocent eyes through my rearview mirror, and that was before I got to know her.
Kid turned me into a pansy like the damn Boy Scout.
I never thought I'd be the one to protect anybody when I'm the one they usually need protecting from, but something changed when I met her. I didn't feel the need to be such an animal. I put down some roots and got comfortable.
I'd be lying if I said protecting her wasn't a key factor in my staying at the mansion. If she was going to join the X-team than I sure as hell was going to. I couldn't just let her walk into danger unprotected.
Protecting her isn't a job; it's just... natural. I don't do it because she's a kid and needs protecting. I'm not as blind as some of her friends like to say I am. I've noticed she stopped being a kid a long time ago. Trust me, kids don't look like her. I've never needed to do anything. I protect her because I want to.
True, there are times when I get close to wishing I hadn't taken on that responsibility. No, I've never regretted making the promise to take care of Marie, but there are times when she annoys me so much I want to just wring that pretty white neck of hers.
I'm the type of guy who needs things to be in their place. If something were to happen I need to get what I need swiftly; not that I ever had to rely on anything, but it's always good to be prepared. Being aware of my surrounding gives me the upper hand over my opponent, even if I don't need it. But that kid, that kid is extremely disorganized. I try to tell her, "Be prepared," but Marie just insists she knows where all her crap is. I don't want another night like the one we had with Stryker, and that's what I told her, but she just said she could take care of herself before telling me I needed to lighten up.
I know Marie is capable of taking care of herself; she never would have made the team if she couldn't, but I need her to be safe. Fuck, if she had been kidnapped like some of the other students… well, there would have been hell to pay.
Did I also mention she's stubborn? Any other person would have relented after the glares I shot her in an effort to persuade her to get her shit organized, but Marie just brushed it off and continued on throwing her clothes on her bedroom floor and stuffing items in her closet. She doesn't change for anybody; not even for me. It damn well better stay that way.
Okay, there is one thing I wish I could change.
Marie has always had the bad habit of chewing with her mouth wide open. Ordinarily chewing like hers wouldn't bug anyone too much, but with my keen ears I hear her chomping loud and clear like a damn cow. It drives me insane. And people wonder why I don't like eating with everyone else. I've told her time and time again how much the noise grates on my nerves but it never makes any difference. Damn, I'm starting to sound like her father.
Well, bub, I'm not.
I've said before that I haven't been completely oblivious to her, um, maturity. No, I've noticed her. It would be hard not to.
That girl can wear leather better than anyone I've seen, and I know I'm not the only one who's noticed. I've caught that new recruit leering at her. That smooth-talkin' buffoon is so obvious that I'm surprised Marie hasn't slapped him yet. All she does is stand there, smiling and soaking up the attention.
Damn it.
As luscious as her body is, there is more to Marie than just her sensual curves. I don't know how to put it in words, but that girl sure is something special.
Before meeting her, home for me didn't exist. Since I couldn't remember ever having one, I didn't mind my nomadic existence. The first time I came back to the mansion I was surprised at how much I had come to miss it, at how relaxed I felt to be back.
Of course that sense of relaxation barely lasted twelve hours.
Marie makes the mansion feel like home. She gives me a reason to come back, a reason to want to come back. I still don't understand why she would even want me back.
Our relationship is of the push-and-pull kind. I push her away. She pulls me in.
I've lost track of the amount of times Marie's absorbed me. The first time wasn't pleasant. It was agony, and it was one of the few times I thought I was going to snuff it. The second time was life-changing. Luckily, all the times after that have been much less exciting. It never mattered to her all the shit I've done. Even after absorbing all of me, knowing all of me, she still managed to care for me. Maybe I should ask the Fur-ball to double check her sanity. No way can someone so… so good feel that way towards me.
I've killed without thought or remorse. I've let terrible people do even more terrible things to innocent bystanders without doing a damn thing to stop them.
Marie does all she can to help others. She risked her safety to help the younger students during Stryker's raid on the mansion. She even fell behind to save me.
She's seen me as the Wolverine. Hell, that's how we met.
Maybe that's part of why I love her so much. I can be myself around her without… without…
Oh! But I-I can't love the kid.
That's who she is: "The Kid."
Marie's a little sister, a friend, a—
No, that isn't right.
What kind of pervert looks at their sister the way I look at Marie?
What kind of asshole abandons his friend for months at a time without as much as a phone call?
What kind of man treats the woman he loves as simply a kid?
The man who only says "Okay" when she tells him she loves him, that's who.
Damn it. I've fucked things up.
I need to go find her.
I need to tell Marie I love her.
It's about time I said the words back to her.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
"The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved—loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves."
Victor Hugo
Victor Hugo
Chapter End Notes:
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