Logan sat at the small island table in the kitchen chewing on a sandwich he had made, extra lunch meat. He kept running the conversation between him and the professor over and over again. He could tell Marie how he felt, but would she feel the same? He knew she wasn’t the little girl he picked up in his truck all those years ago, she was an adult now, even if she didn’t act like it sometimes.
Logan glanced at the clock, almost one. Lunch was usually over by then and then he had his appointment to go to. First he had to find Marie and tell her was going on, he kind of hoped she would sense his discomfort about the situation and decline going with him. He really didn’t want to put her in such a situation. He snorted, like she would ever say no.
He washed off his plate and placed in the sink, he’d wash it later, maybe, someone would do it. He had more pressing matters to think about. Logan stalked down the halls on his way to where he last saw Marie, and glaring at anyone who came across his way.
As he approached the rec room he could pick up on the mindless chatter of the group of youngsters, nothing really interesting was being said, but what he could pick up it was about the movie like
“Oh my GOD! Hugh Jackman is so GORGEOUS!”
“You girl’s are ridiculous, I am way better looking than Jackman.”
“Bobby…just…no..”
Logan snorted ‘Again with that Jackman guy…’ He poked his head through the door and saw them all spread out over the room.
“Logan! Hey just in time! The movie just ende-“ Marie stopped, she intently looked at Logan’s face, there was something wrong she could just tell, when he left her earlier he at least looked like he was trying to look happy.
“Logan what’s wrong?”
“I need to talk to you kid, it’s kinda important.”
“Oh, uh, ok, Ah’ll see you guys later I guess.”
“Okie Dokie Roguie! See ya later! Hey Logan, try turning that frown upside down!” exclaimed Jubilee
Logan just growled and Marie rolled her eyes. Marie got up and walked over to Logan and when she was in grabbing distance he reached for her arm and held tight as he dragged her down the hall towards the professor’s study.
“Logan, what is going on? Let go.”
He stopped mid stride, satisfied that they were far enough away from the three idiots so that they couldn’t overhear. He let go of her arm and turned to look at her. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He didn’t even know where to start. She was looking worriedly at him and it made his heart ache. He felt bad that she worried so much for him all the time.
“Marie…I…I talked with Chuck and he thinks my headaches are something more,” he paused and she nodded for him to go on
“He thinks these images I’m seeing, the voices, are actually memories…he wants me to meet him at one to have a session, but there’s a catch…” Logan hesitated to go on “He says, there might be a chance that I could lose it…like forever. He wants to try to unlock the memories but if it goes wrong, I could go into a feral state. Scott, Ororo and Hank are going to be there today…for protection…while Jean and Chuck go into my head.”
“Oh Logan.”
“Chuck thinks the only thing that might help me is…you…but you are in no way going to be there!” the last sentence came out in a rush as he stared at her.
“Now just wait one minute! Ah believe this is my choice, if the professor thinks it’s a good idea, then I’m goin!” she yelled “Plus, if it will help yah, I want to be there. I want to help yah sugah.” She pouted
Logan groaned, there she went again with that adorable pout that he couldn’t say no to. “Kid, I could really hurt you if this goes wrong. I couldn’t live with myself if I did, or anyone here for that matter.” He stated quietly. Marie closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around Logan.
“Logan, you would never hurt me, I know you.” She reassured
“Kid, I don’t think you get it! Chuck thinks this could be really bad. When I go into a feral state, there’s still a part of me that knows who I am, this time…I have no idea what will happen.”
“Logan, calm down. Please…just let me try to help yah?” she pleaded
Logan sighed and returned the hug, holding Marie tight in his arms. “Alright, you can help…but at the first sign of danger, you got to promise me you’ll run. I mean it Marie, promise me.”
“I promise Logan.”
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Everyone stood silently around the professor’s desk, nobody wanted to break the silence that lingered in the air. Logan sat slouched in a chair looking anything but pleased while Marie sat next to him in the opposite chair. The Professor sat behind his desk with his hands steepled across his desk. The silence was begging to become uncomfortable. Logan growled.
“Damn it! Can we get this shit on the road!” yelled Logan startling everyone in the room
“Logan, language,” the professor chided “But yes, I agree if you are ready I do believe we can begin.”
“Finally.”
“Right well let me explain than. As you know Jean and myself shall enter your mind finding the source of the dreams and headaches you have been experiencing. Once we do, we shall have to dig deeper to get the full memory. Once the memory is unlocked I believe it shall open the flood gates to your memory loss, to put it simply. Logan I must warn you again, this is very dangerous. The things you will see might not be pleasant and it could trigger a berserker rage so awful, you might not be able to come out of it.”
“Well if that happens Chuck I hope you guys do whatever it takes to stop me.”
“Logan, this is very serious, we don’t want to hurt you,” said Hank.
“You bet this is serious Hank, I mean it, stop at nothing and I mean nothing to bring me down.”
“Well none of that is going to be necessary ‘cause Ah’m here. If I can keep you calm than that’s what Ah’m going to do.” Stated Marie, her complexion a little paler. Logan stared at her intently considering his options, which weren’t a lot.
“Let’s do this professor.”
“Of course,” the professor sighed “Also before we start, during this time when Jean and I will be combining our telepathy some scenes and emotions of yours might become projected and I won’t be able to block them from the others, I will be engulfed in what is going on I will nedd all of consentration. Will you be alright with that?” asked the professor.
Logan was silent for a long time, he really did not like this new development. He didn’t want the others to see what he has done. Nobody needed to see that, from the memories that he did have, they weren’t anything to brag about. But he really wanted to know about his past, and he had a feeling that if this problem wasn’t solved now, it would only get worse.
“Logan?”
“Hm? What?”
“Are you ready to begin?” asked the professor
“Uh…yeah...”
“Right well lean back, close your eyes, and try to relax. Jean are you ready?”
“Sure am professor.”
“Excellent, now let’s begin.”
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There was a small breeze blowing somewhere, it was dark but he could hear the leaves blowing. The scent, so familiar, he couldn’t place it. Something in the back of his head was tingling. Logan shook his head to dispel the odd feeling, slowly it began to brighten.
‘That must be Jean and the professor, working their mind magic’ chuckled Logan
One came to focus first was a giant house. The mansion? No, it was different in so many ways although it certainly was a mansion. It looked cold, like there was no light anywhere to be seen, no happiness or hope. Logan shivered. The house had two identical like towers on each side with an old black weather vane on top of just one. A porch circled the house like a moat. Dark windows spotted the house giving it an eery look. Despite the darkness to this house it seemed like it was kept in a state of upkeep. He could hear voices, lots of them, but he couldn’t see the people. He felt like he was in a dead zone. He shivered again.
Logan turned to survey his other surroundings and found that the property was surrounded by a forest. There was a long winding path leading to the only exit and road. He felt cut off from the world and it almost gave him a sense of piece. He stood in silence as he took in this familiar scene.
“James?”
That voice, it was the woman, again calling out for Jimmy. He turned and called back to let her know that at least he was there.
“Hey I’m L-“ he stopped, that voice wasn’t his own, but a child’s. Confused he looked down at himself and was stunned at what he saw. His hands, instead of being large and masculine, were small, weak, soft hands. He continued his exploration and found himself to be wearing a light brown jacket and matching shorts, definitely more fancy than what he would ever deem as “casual.” Shiny black dress shoes completed his ensemble and Logan felt himself blush.
‘This is ridiculous. I beat Summers is having a hoot about this.’
“James? Oh blast you boy where have you gone?”
Logan looked up to see a woman searching frantically around the grounds. She was beautiful that much was obvious. She had dark hair, just like him and she wore a long elegant blue dress. The dress looked like something out of the 1800’s which puzzled him. Her face was long and elegant and everthing about her radiated beauty. Seeing her made his heart ache, and he wasn’t sure why. He continued staring at her when she suddenly glanced over and began to rush over to him.
“James! Oh my darling! There you are!” the woman exclaimed
Logan, obviously confused looked behind him and saw no one. Logan dared to speak as the woman finally stopped in front of him. He turned back to her as he began speaking.
“Uh…I’m sorry-“ he froze. This woman, THIS WOMAN, he knew her. The tingling feeling began again at the back of his head. The first thing to come back to him was her name, it was Elizabeth. The second was who she was to him.
“Mother…”
“Goodness James, what are you doing out? You need to rest! You know what being outside can do to you! I swear child you will be the death of me!” she smiled at him as she hugged him close.
“I’m...I’m sorry mama,” James stammered “I just wanted ta go outside…it looked so pretty out.” He pouted, he could feel the tears begin to prickle at the corners of his eyes, making him want to cry more.
“Oh now now my darling, I am not cross,” she smiled “You just gave mother a scare is all, now come, back to bed with you, you’re going to overwork yourself.” She bent down and picked up the tiny James and began to make their way back to the house. James buried his head into his mother’s hair and inhaled deeply. Her smell always comforted him. Elizabeth began to hum softly, a tune James knew like the back of his hand. James’ eyes slowly began to droop and he just snuggled closer.
“Hush now my sweet boy, later you, Victor and perhaps your big brother John can all go out and play. How does that sound?”
“Mmm..” he hummed his response, being too tired to speak.
“Hmm…such a sweet boy, my darling James.”
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Author's Chapter Notes:
ok, so um WOW. Sorry I basically dropped off of the face of the Earth but my life. UGH JUST SHOOT ME! This is literally the first day I've had to myself!!! So please forgive me!
Chapter End Notes:
Sorry, I suppose this is a short update..but yeah...oh well. If you are wondering what song his mother was humming it was "Baby Mine" like from DUMBO. Everytime I hear this song...it's just so cute and sad. I thought it would be nice. Next chapter, more awesomeness! Please let me know how you think I'm doing!