Marie snuggled deeper into Logan’s arms and twirled his hair, the ends flipping away softly as she repeatedly caught them between her fingers. It was the middle of the night and they were alone on the balcony, everyone fast asleep throughout the estate. The air was hot and humid, their sweat slickened bodies fitting perfectly together on the lounge chair just outside the French doors of the bedroom. They both knew that he needed to get ready to leave and return to Westchester, but neither was willing to be the first to let go.
Smiling contentedly, he gave her a tight hug. Let the rest of the world call her Anina, let their friends call her Anna, but to him, she was his Marie. So perfect, so sweet, so beautiful; so damn sexy. Looking up at him, her dark green eyes shone with love.
“Ah don’t want you to go,” she told him softly, frowning slightly.
He rubbed her lower lip with his thumb before placing a gentle kiss on it. “I’ll be back, darlin’. As soon as yer done in D.C. and Slim’s back in New York, I’m comin’ right back.”
She nodded and continued to play with his hair. Over the past two days and nights they had time to talk. They talked about Jean, talked about Scott, talked about Logan’s past and her time spent away from the X-Men. He confessed how his love for her had scared him, how hard it was watching her live her life without him and she confessed how not having his love had devastated her, how hard she tried to stop loving him.
Marie was sitting across his lap – she enjoyed this position most – her legs drawn up together, her shoulder leaning against his chest as Logan slid his hand along her arm, tracing a circuitous path over her hip and thigh. He refused to allow her any clothes, even the bed sheets were forbidden so he could feast on the sight of her, naked. He liked being able to touch her bare skin, constantly, with no barriers. She pressed little kisses to his neck, inhaling his musk, enjoying the smell of the lit cigar presently clamped in between his teeth and he kissed the top of her head, enjoying the silence, and her.
He watched her fidget with his hair for a few more moments more before asking, “Who stole you away when you were little, Marie?”
Her movements stilled completely. Alarm rushed through her and her eyes shot up to his, startled. Pulling away his cigar, Logan caught her lips with his own, deepening the kiss so she was forced to return it, and she did, both of them flushed with desire before he forced himself to pull away.
“I don’t like the way you’re feelin’ Marie. I don’t like how scared you’re gettin’.” His eyes flashed, rubbing his free hand down her back again soothingly, upset at her reaction to his question. She sighed and rested her head against his chest, curling into him, drawing her legs higher. He stubbed out his cigar on the ground and wrapped his arms around her tightly, wanting to show her that she was safe, with him.
He waited patiently, knowing by the way she was breathing that she was preparing to answer him. When she started, her voice was soft, sounding calm although he could hear her heart fluttering nervously in her chest.
“Ah was on my way to ballet class, rushing, because Ah was late,” she began, ringing his hair around her finger again. “Ah was running along the pathway that connected the main school to the dormitory.” She closed her eyes, remembering. “There was a blind woman, about fifty years old or so, standing off to the side, waiting for me. She said that she had known my mother, told me my mother’s name.” Logan’s arms tightened encouragingly when she stopped, her voice catching.
“She said that they had come to rescue me.” Marie’s voice sounded far away now, her eyes dimmed. “That’s when Ah saw her for the first time.” She looked up at Logan then, eyes filling with tears. “She was so beautiful, Logan, the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. When she took my hand in hers, Ah felt so loved. She told me she was going to take care of me, that she would be my mother from then on. No one stole me away, Logan. That day, without a moment’s hesitation, Ah went away with her. Willingly.”
Logan held her face in his hands and kissed her eyelids, tasting the salt of her tears, hating the sadness that suddenly surrounded her. “It's okay, darlin’. You don’t have to tell me.”
Marie shook her head, rewrapping his arms around her, needing them about her. “No. Ah want to.” She took a steadying breath and continued. “Ah was nine years old at the time. She was like a fairy godmother, appearing out of nowhere, giving me the family Ah always wanted, and Ah loved her. Ah loved her so much. Ah lived to make her happy, to make her proud of me. She worked for the federal government, Ah don’t know which department, and was away a lot, but Auntie Irene was always there, taking care of me. Ah still got to take dance and music lessons, but Momma insisted Ah stop singing. Said it was too painful for me, that it was a part of a past she wanted me to forget. Ah just wanted to make her happy, terrified that Ah would lose her love, just like Ah did my father’s, so Ah never sang again. Life seemed so perfect, just the three of us, living in our little house.” She stopped, and let go of his hair, drawing into herself.
“Until I turned fifteen, and Cody kissed me.” Logan felt her shiver as her sadness gave way to horror at the memory. His hold on her tightened, all senses alert to her powerful emotions.
“It was awful. Ah couldn’t tell which screams were Cody’s, and which were mine inside my head. Ah’ve never been so scared. Momma told the paramedics that Cody had a seizure, and Ah let her. We hid the truth about what really happened. She told me that Ah couldn’t tell anyone, told me that Ah would be hunted down like a dog if anyone knew about my mutation. She said that the world would see me as a monster, a freak and that she would protect me.”
Marie pulled away from him, ashamed. “Ah can’t remember too much after that. Ah lost all my friends, Momma took me out of school, and Ah stopped going anywhere altogether, scared that Ah would hurt more people like Ah did Cody. As time went by, more and more different voices began to enter my mind, constantly screaming at me. I don’t remember touching any of those people, but Ah figured out that Momma must have been responsible. She kept telling me Ah had a gift, that Ah had a responsibility. Ah didn’t complain. Ah loved her, Ah trusted her. Then one day Ah was being choked to death by Carol Danvers.”
She looked at him, her heart beating more frantically, her fear hanging thick around them. “Ah still don’t know how Ah got to be in that alleyway in New York City. One moment Ah was in my bedroom, falling asleep, and then suddenly, Carol’s hands were wrapped around my bare throat, skin to skin. Ah could feel her personality taking over mine, telling me to not fight back, to let her kill me. Momma was there, trying to save me, trying to get Carol to release her hold on me, but Carol was too strong. Ah don’t know how Ah managed to break free, but Ah must have because suddenly Ah was running, with Auntie Irene’s voice in my head telling me to run faster and faster away.”
Marie kept her eyes averted from Logan’s, afraid of what she would find there. “Ah hate myself for what Ah did for Momma, for what Ah must have done to all those people to trap their personalities in my mind. Ah didn’t have their memories like Ah did Cody’s, just their voices screaming at me for hurting them. Momma had taken advantage of my love for her, making me think that Ah owed her, but Ah let her, it was my fault. Ah knew all along that it had been wrong, no matter how hard Ah tried to convince myself that it was okay.”
She cleared her throat, and resumed playing with his hair, trying to ignore how still Logan had become.
“That was the night Ah buried Anna Marie D’Ancanto and became the Rogue. Ah spent the next year trying to make my way to Alaska, where Ah figured Ah could get away with wearing gloves and heavy clothing all the time. After almost nine months on the road and no news reports to report me missing, Ah figured Momma had just let me go, glad to be rid of me, just like Ah believed my father had done when Ah left the school years before. It got to be pathetic, how Ah would always try to catch the news to see if she reported me missing, only to be constantly reminded that she didn’t. Momma just didn’t care Ah was gone.” She blinked away her tears, and became quiet.
Logan was staring down at her, trying to process what she had told him. He knew Carol Danvers. Very well. Ms Marvel had recovered from the coma Marie had put her in years ago, although she had to go through hell before her memories were restored to her. He never thought to question Carol when she assumed it was her that attacked Rogue in a drunken rage when Marie was just a kid on the streets. He had been angry with his old friend at the time at the discovery, when all along it might have been Marie who attacked her, not the other way around.
Seeing the look in his eyes, Marie took his face into her hands, heart in her throat. “Ah never lied to you, Logan. Ah know Carol thought it was her fault that Ah took away her memories and powers, but Ah was so confused at the time, Ah’m still not sure what really happened. Ah was wrong to not tell anyone about my suspicions that it might have been my fault, and about Momma. But Ah wanted to forget my past, forget about that woman who used me, who pretended to love me like a daughter.”
She was crying openly now, his face blurred through her tears. “Ah was wrong, Ah know, but finding you and going to Xavier’s Academy was a chance for me to try and make up for all the things Ah did for her. Please Logan, please try to understand. Ah was so lonely, and so tired. Ah didn’t want to run anymore.”
Logan was already hushing her, stroking her hair soothingly, holding her close, his face a mask of sympathy and love. “I do understand darlin’, I do. I didn’t exactly stick around long enough fer you to trust me anyway.” He rested his chin on her head, his voice gruff. "Please don’t cry, Marie. I love you.”
His Marie had suffered so much in her life, used and tossed around like a rag doll. He had no idea that she had gone through so much before coming into his life, he had assumed her life was picture perfect before her mutation had kicked in. It infuriated him to learn it hadn’t been. He had so many more questions, about her mother, about her step-mother, about this Auntie Irene, but he needed to wait, seeing that she was too raw. All he wanted to do was to stop her pain, her fear, and make her feel happy again. He lifted her chin and swallowed her sobs with a tender kiss, letting her know he was here now, that she could love and trust him, that he would protect her.
Marie took his kiss and deepened it, desperately clinging to him as she banished away the image of the only mother she had ever known back into the recesses of her mind. Logan didn’t stop her when she sat up and straddled him between her legs, didn’t stop her when she reached between her legs and began to stroke him, her bites on his throat almost painful, eyes reflecting her growing feral state.
She raised her hips and impaled herself on him, lifting herself up and slowly sinking back down, wriggling her taut, voluptuous body as a rhythm took hold of her. Logan forced himself to not reach out to her, giving her the control she needed. She threw her head back and reached behind to steady herself on his thighs, her fingers digging into his unyielding, muscled flesh as she rocked against him steadily, as deeply as she could, gasps escaping her open mouth. The moon made the sweat on her skin gleam, and he watched beads of it roll down her spectacular body with envy, devouring the sight of her, her hair falling over her shoulders and tickling his chest.
He dug his fingers into the palms of his hands to prevent them from grabbing her, tasted blood from where he bit his lip to prevent them from tasting her, growling himself when she quickened her pace, her moans becoming louder and louder as the tension built within her, within him. But he couldn’t help thrusting his hips, giving her that extra pressure to cast her over the precipice to ecstasy that he knew was evading her and with a grateful sob, she reached for him, suddenly desperate for his hands on her body, for his lips to be on hers as explosions of pleasure burst through her.
Logan brushed her hair away from her face, running his hands all over her trembling body, catching all the sweat that had accumulated on her smooth, hot skin. Logan continued to push himself into her as she pooled around him, kissing his Marie, kissing and kissing her, gasping out words of love and words of forever into her ear until he joined her in blissful relief.
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