He watched her early in the morning when she would go swimming in the pool after taking her daily run around the perimeter of the estate and he watched her when she would visit classes throughout the day. He watched her when she pretended to be blown by wind, much to the delight of the young students in the creative dance room, and he watched her correct the forms of young ballet dancers when they struggled for balance at the barre. He watched her demonstrate proper breathing techniques to reach perfect and sustained pitch, and he watched her sit at the piano with the students, tuning violins and guitars while patiently answering, what seemed to him, endless questions from the children. He watched her groom the horses before and after riding lessons, and watched her comb children’s hair in the common room after dinner, encouraging young artists as they painted on easels set up along the large bank of windows. She never rushed, always listened, affectionate and gentle with the students, gracious and kind to the staff. He watched her greet the many guests and business associates who came to the academy, graceful and charming, every inch the well mannered, soft spoken genteel lady she had become.
Impeccably dressed, prepared, dependable, responsible, very much like…
Yes. The similarities were many.
But Logan didn’t watch her when she was with Scott. Whenever the X-Men leader appeared by her side, Logan always, always, looked away.
Bobby, Kitty, Logan, Anna and Scott were sitting around a boardroom table in the war room beneath the academy. It was late Thursday afternoon, and four weeks had passed since Logan’s arrival with Laura.
“She’s adapted well to be being around other children,” Bobby contributed, agreeing with his wife who had just verbally handed in her report on their newest student. He leaned back against the comfortable leather chair. “Laura’s not your average twelve year old, but I see a marked difference in her behavior since arriving here a couple of weeks ago.”
Charles Xavier’s holographic image sharpened. “I’m glad that she has developed a relationship with Julian and Amy, and has become familiar with your recently graduated class. It will make her transition back to the senior academy less jarring.” His eyes rested on Anna. “Good work, Anna.”
Anna straightened in her chair and told her former mentor, “While I think she should attend classes Charles, accommodations need to be made for her. Expecting her to partake in the same level scholastically with the other students is unrealistic. She is already well educated and speaks ten languages fluently. Her SAT score is perfect. Attending classes is imperative for socialization, but I feel the focus ought to be more on her training with the intention of joining the junior team, if she chooses to, in the future.”
Professor Xavier nodded his head at her words, the familiar wood paneling of his study visible behind him.
“I’ll be back in New York on Monday, Chuck.”
All eyes turned to Logan. He was sitting alone at the far end of the table, his legs propped up on the seat of an empty chair, cowboy hat set low on his head.
Anna looked away, frowning slightly. She heard Professor Xavier say, “Good. We will need a field leader to stay behind with the students while Henry, Ororo, Scott and I attend the Senate Committee meeting next week.”
Scott’s eyes were on Anna, watching her.
“Are you able to join us in Washington, Anna?” asked the professor, eyes resting on her again.
She nodded, avoiding Scott’s probing gaze and ignoring the disappointment that had flooded through her at Logan’s words. “I’ll be there. Bobby and Kitty will be in charge during my absence, so the junior academy will be well taken care of.”
“Wonderful. By the way my dear, I hope you have a wonderful time at your charity gala tomorrow night.”
Smiling, she replied, “Thank you, Charles.”
He returned the smile and then addressed the group as a whole. “Goodbye, my X-Men. Keep up the good work.” And with that, Professor Xavier’s image dissolved from view.
Everyone stood up to leave but Logan had already left the room, leaving the war room door open in his wake. Anna looked at his empty chair, her face clouding over.
Scott rested his hand on top of hers, startling her out of her thoughts. “Ready for dinner, sweetheart?”
She nodded and stood up, taking his hand as he led her out of the room.
It wasn’t too hard to find him. The stench of his cigar made her want to wretch.
“Can you put that away, Wolvie? I think I’m gonna hurl.”
With an annoyed grunt, he stubbed out the just lit Cuban on the meter high brick wall he was sitting on that bordered the back garden’s inner courtyard. “You don’t have to be here, kid.”
Kitty had a look of disgust on her face, her bulky frame preceding her before she came into view. “Neither do you, you know.”
Logan arched an eyebrow at the expectant mother. “House rules, kitten. No smokin’ near the kids.”
She leaned against the low lying wall beside him, her expressive brown eyes flashing in annoyance. “I meant, you don’t have to be here. In Mississippi.”
He regarded her for a few moments before deciding to ignore her comment. “Got a name for him?”
She wasn’t going to let him change the subject. “Yeah. It’s moron.”
“Holy shit. Poor kid.”
“I meant you. You need to talk to Anna. The sooner the better, I’d say.”
He swung his legs to the top of the wall and lay all the way down, closing his eyes and resting his hands on his stomach. “I think you lost your mind, Mrs. Popsicle.”
Kitty glared at him as he rotated his shoulders to get more comfortable. She tried a different tactic. “You know, Rogue was always such a hurt little thing.”
His jaw clenched, but his eyes remained closed, making no indication that he had heard her.
“She always tried to hide it from us, the times when she felt sad. We knew it was hard for her, seeing how close we were to our families, or when we began to develop relationships. She had such a hard time fitting in at first, and it was even worse for her after the Liberty Island incident.” Kitty voice became softer, remembering. “She was so quiet, and kept to herself, tormented as she was with all those voices running around in her head. The only time she was ever truly happy, was when you were around.”
Logan remained silent. Despite the even rise and fall of his chest, Kitty knew she had his full attention, and she carried on, undeterred.
“It was obvious there was something special between you two. I guess almost killing each other can do that to people. We all knew she was nursing a big ass crush on you, the whole time. Bobby tried to reach out to her, and lots of guys tried after him, but in Rogue’s eyes, I guess they all couldn’t measure up. And you only had eyes for Jean.”
His jaw clenched again. Kitty stepped closer to him, looking up into the clear early evening sky before resting her eyes back on him.
“We pretended not see her tears each time you left,” she continued, aware that he was getting upset. “And we pretended not to notice the change in her behavior the few times that you did come back. The happy girl you got to see definitely wasn’t the same girl we saw whenever you weren’t around. When we almost lost her, she kept asking the professor to keep trying to locate you with Cerebro, just so that she could tell you goodbye in case she didn’t make it. She didn’t want you to feel guilty, for not being there for her when she needed you.” Kitty shifted uncomfortably. Her swollen feet were killing her.
In an instant, Logan jumped off the wall and grabbed two iron garden chairs nearby, placing them beside her. She gratefully sat down, fanning herself with her hand in an attempt to get relief from the heat around them. He reached for her legs, placed them across his lap, and began to massage one of her feet.
“Better, Kitkat?” he asked sympathetically.
“You have NO idea,” she groaned, fluttering her eyelids in pleasure. His large strong fingers rubbed her aching appendage, and she decided to enjoy it, staying quiet for the time being. The two friends remained that way for a few minutes.
“She was too young.” His voice was so quiet she had to strain to hear him.
Kitty considered what he said for a few moments, and sighed. “That’s the thing, Logan. Rogue was never too young. She just looked it.”
His face shuttered closed at her words. He reached for her other foot, and began giving it the same attention as he did the first. “I’m an old man, Kitty. I’ve lived lifetimes already. She might have had the memories of other people’s lifetimes trapped in her mind, but she didn’t have any experiences of her own. She deserves to at least have that.” He was silent, and then added, “Women have nasty habit of dyin’ around me.”
Kitty caught the bleakness in his gruff voice. She lifted her legs off his lap and stood up, facing him.
“I remember the day she gained control of her skin.” She smiled at the memory. “I had never seen her so happy, Logan. And yet, the very next day, I had never seen her so devastated.” Kitty gave him a hard look. “Rogue said she had to leave, letting us think it was because of her father’s surprise appearance. She came back here and inherited not just this place, but her father’s guilt as well. After his death, she set about achieving all the dreams he had for her, just so that he could rest in peace. But is she truly living her life, gathering up all these experiences you say she needs and deserves? Or is she living for someone else, as someone else?”
A deep weariness settled over Katherine Pryde Drake that had nothing to do with the baby now kicking with gusto within her. Rubbing her belly, her heart ached for the miserable man in front of her. She touched his arm gently. “I just need her to be happy, Logan.”
She kissed his cheek and walked away.