Her absence was explained as being due to her recuperating from the previous day’s events, Professor Xavier bringing Gambit and Cyclops up to speed at their looks of confusion. Wolverine sat in the back of the meeting room, sullen and unapproachable in his impatience, ignoring the pointed looks Charles sent his way. He spent all night in the Danger Room, and his resolve to stay away from Rogue was deteriorating with every second that he remained in the mansion.
Let’s GO, damnit!
Professor Xavier winced from the psychic shout Logan bellowed at him. With a growl, Logan stormed out of the debriefing room, making his way through the lower levels to get to the hangar where he quickly boarded the Blackbird. Alone, he buried his head in his hands, struggling to keep his composure, desperate to get far away from the woman upstairs.
“He’s pissed off,” noted Jubilee unnecessarily. The others looked at her, annoyed and she shrugged her shoulders. “Well, he is.”
The professor cleared his throat, choosing to ignore her comments, and came to the end of the meeting. “There is a lot at stake, X-Men. Based on what Cyclops has shared with us, it appears certain governments are restarting mutant suppression protocols. ” He paused, looking to each of them. “With rumors of a proposed Mutant Registration Bill running rampart, knowledge will be our greatest defense. Destroying these facilities prematurely will only cause these groups to go even further underground so, for now, we keep our ears to the ground.”
The X-Men around the large conference table stood up, nodding in understanding. Cyclops motioned for Gambit to follow him and they returned to the Blackbird to join the Wolverine, who was already fully strapped in the co-pilots seat. Within moments, the powerful machine lifted into the early morning air, and took off with a sonic boom that reverberated throughout the mansion, startling Rogue awake from where she had fallen asleep in Logan’s chair.
Blinking slowly, she didn’t recognize where she was. The memory of what happened hours earlier came rushing forward and reality crashed down around her with merciless clarity.
She curled back up into a ball, drawing Logan’s jacket around her, and cried.
She straightened up his room, throwing out his destroyed uniform, tidying the bathroom and smoothing out the wrinkled bedspread. She placed his jacket back across the chair, and left for her own room. The heaviness in her chest seemed to be growing and Rogue could barely breathe.
After taking a shower, she wiped the steam away from the mirror and stared back at the woman inside it. After what she had been through the past week, she expected her hair to be a rainbow of colors. She tugged at the platinum streak, thoughts hurtling her back in time.
Ah kinda like it.
Her pain spiked at the memory. She turned away and re-entered her room, feeling caged by its four walls. The sky outside was stormy, the clouds hanging low outside her bedroom window and she stood there for a while, staring sightlessly into the distance.
Kitty and Jubilee looked at their friend warily when she finally answered their incessant knocking on her bedroom door. Stepping inside, their eyes fell to the two bags of luggage set at the foot of the neatly made bed. They noticed that the walls and furniture were bare.
“Rogue?” Kitty looked at Rogue questioningly.
“Ah have to go.” She had her green cape over her arm, leather gloves in hand.
Jubilee felt herself becoming angry. “I think you’ve been hanging out with the wolfster a little too long. You don’t have to go anywhere, you got us. Whatever it is, we can help you. We’re supposed to be your best friends.”
Rogue winced at the reminder of Logan. With a watery smile, she replied quietly, “You are my best friends. But this is something Ah need to do. On my own.”
The yellow clad mutant opened her mouth to argue but Kitty tugged at her arm and shook her head, her brown eyes filling with tears. “Does this have anything to do with the stranger that came here a few days ago?” she asked gently.
Rogue looked at her, conflicted. Should she tell them? Should she tell them that her heart was in a million pieces? That the thought of seeing Logan again was too much for her to bear? That she had realized, after so many years, that the only reason she had stayed, was for him? That she had been hoping, in vain, that he would come back to her, for her? That he would love her?
Averting her gaze from the concerned eyes of her friends, she nodded, and her vision blurred once again with tears.
The two young women hugged her, and she allowed herself cry in their arms. They offered her words of comfort, and Rogue took it greedily, feeling like she would never again be able to breathe deeply, that she would never stop crying over her aching, broken heart.
“Is this what you truly want, Rogue?”
Professor Xavier was sitting behind his desk, his eyes intent on the young woman seated before him. Her hands were once again encased in gloves, dressed in the green hooded cloak he first saw her wearing when she arrived at the academy all those years ago. She wore her misery just as tightly around her.
~ Let me help you Rogue. ~
Rogue mentally pushed back, hard. “Please don’t, Professor,” she requested softly. She felt him pull away from her mind immediately, his apology sincere.
“I am sorry, Rogue.” He looked at her compassionately. “Your pain is very harsh. Do you think it’s prudent for you to leave like this?”
Tears slipped out of her eyes, and she wiped them away tiredly, wet spots darkening the leather of her gloves. In a subdued voice, she told him, “Ah can’t stay here. Ah can’t bear it, sir.” She covered her face in her hands, ashamed of her tears.
He went to her and held her as she sobbed, her suffering overwhelming him. She accepted the handkerchief he offered and wiped away the tears on her cheeks. Her eyes were even dimmer, looking much older than her twenty years as she stood up, her face haggard with sorrow.
“Rogue, if you would allow me one suggestion.”
She nodded, biting her lower lip to stop its trembling. He took her hands into his. “Live your life. Wring from it every drop of experience you can, good and bad, and fight for the happiness you deserve. Remember, you will always have a place here, with the X-Men. This will always be your home.”
And Charles Xavier let her go.
Rogue left his office and walked swiftly through hallways, the clicking sounds of her boots against the wooden floors quickening. She couldn’t breathe, the hurt overwhelming her so she began to run. She ran down the stairs, across the foyer and through the large front doors into the waiting taxi outside.
She lay down on the backseat and buried her face into her arms, her shoulders shuddering from the sobs that ripped out of her. The car pulled away slowly and many tear-filled eyes watched the yellow colored vehicle glide down the snow covered driveway, past the iron gates and into the night.
Rogue was gone.