Rogue stayed there for what seemed like an eternity, lulled by the song of Logan’s heartbeats. She had been about to kill him and he was worried about her safety around him instead of being afraid of the freak she was. White streaked hair, and metal claws and bones, trained to kill; oh yes, she was a very dangerous mutant, she was a weapon. But there in his arms, she felt safe, almost normal. He wasn’t hating her, it was all the other way around, she was sure of it. He didn’t hate her. If anything, he smelt relieved and the previous tension in his shoulders just a memory now.
“Maybe we should eat a little, you must be starving.” He said, carefully caressing her greasy hair.
“…I don’t mean to bother you.”
“You don’t.” He said, then hesitated as he saw her frown slightly. He could practically hear her think and he knew how much she longed to clean the lab and her hard journey off her skin now. He would need a bath too. God, they were a mess. Still he didn’t know how to break it to her. He didn’t know how she would react if he mentioned this. He felt so silly and out of his depth right now; he just wasn’t used to talking to people. Not used to communicate, not used to intimacy.
Looking at her once again, he decided to be blunt about it, blurt it out and hope for the best. After what they just went through, he guessed they were past these petty considerations.
“There’s a bathtub in the basement, but we’ll need some water from the river.”
“Oh…” Was all the girl said. ‘That went well’, Logan thought.
“Is it alright?” The girl looked up to him. She sounded surprised but not outraged by his statement, so yes, it was a good sign…probably.
“Yes. Thank you, for everything. I won’t stay long…I’ll just…clean up a bit, and then I’ll go. If the river isn’t too far, I could get the water myself…” She offered, but Logan just shook his head, saying that he’d do it, she didn’t know the way, that it was okay, really.
Rogue tried not to move, tried to keep some of the feeling of safety her position in Logan’s embrace provided. She *really* wanted this bath but she was strangely reluctant to have to leave the comfort of his warmth…and his scent. Something about it made her want to purr. She thought about what she’d said. There was no way she could stay here with this man. For all extensive purpose, they were strangers, no matter how good she felt in his arms right now, and he didn’t correct her or offered her to stay longer when she said that she’d go. She had to leave and soon if she didn’t want to bring trouble to this man’s doorstep.
“Where will you go?” He then asked softly, not wanting to break the spell he too had fallen under without really noticing.
“I…I’m going South.” She retorted, lowering her gaze to the floor involuntarily.
“South? The States? Anyone you know there?” Logan asked, taking in her appearance once again, noticing the obviously burrowed clothes and the dried mud and blood on them. The girl had virtually nothing, no car, not even decent clothes. How did she want to get wherever it was she wanted to go; and it was the middle of winter for crying out loud! Winter in the North West Territories in Canada, was a force to be reckoned with, Logan could testify of that; and he *was* Canadian.
“I don’t know, but I feel I have to go there.” She had to, that was the only place she could almost remember; a sunbathed house by a lake, hidden among green leafy trees…And the South, wherever that may be; just somewhere real sunny and warm. She would recognize it when she’d get to it, she was sure!
“You could stay here.” Logan said forcing a casual tone. “For a while…Roads will probably be unusable by the time you’ll be ready to leave; winter is setting in well and good now.” He wanted her here with him, he needed her, needed to protect her.
Now where had *that* come from? Was it how *he* truly felt? The man still had a hard time getting a hold of the primal emotions battling in his mind. It was usually easier for him to sort out the personalities in his crowded head!
“No, I can’t. I’d only end up hurting you again. There are people after me, and I’m not the safest person to be around either.”
“Who’s after you?” Logan asked hastily, the desire to help and protect the young girl in his arms almost overwhelming. “And you don’t seem that dangerous to me. I’d rather be scared of *me* if I were you.” He added more softly this time, as if to himself.
“It’s better if you don’t know who those people are. And I’m not afraid of you.” She paused. “Are you afraid of me?” Rogue asked on the tone of confidence.
“No, I’m not.”
Silence stretched on between them as they still lay on the floor curled up around each other, refusing to let go.
“Everybody’s afraid of me” Rogue finally said, breaking the spell somewhat. “And they’re right.”
“I could claim the same…Killer skin doesn’t add up to ‘safe’. I can kill even when I’m asleep, almost without a thought.”
“I rarely sleep…”
“I know.”
She looked at Logan somewhat stunned by his answer. Feeling the smaller version of her he had in his head stir, he quickly prompted:
“That’s a part of my mutation. I don’t only take people’s life force, I also take their feelings and memories, everything they are rushes into me, and I can feel them in my head even long after they’ve touched me. They become a part of me.”
“Oh.” The girl said, averting her gaze, suddenly feeling ashamed. If he had a part of her stuck in his head it couldn’t be good. She was something else than human, that much she knew, but even as a mutant, she realized she was different.
He was still holding her in his arms, letting her body warm up to his. She was warmer by the moment, her life force pulsing all around her; so powerful. And she was in his head, but not only her, Logan noticed. Something darker than her but still a part of what she was, something more primal, deeper, almost animal lurking in the dark corners of her mind. He had never felt anything like this before. He knew he should be scared, but he couldn’t help himself, he caught a glimpse of who she was, of what she could do, but still he couldn’t make himself run from her. Now, she lived inside of him, she was a part of him.
“It’s not safe to stay near me either…” he added, lowering his lips to the top of her head.
“You’d never hurt me.” Rogue said, adamant.
“How can you tell? How can you be so sure? With my skin…How can you even stand being so close?”
“That’s what my instincts tell me, and I always trust my instincts, and they tell me that you’d never hurt me. I know I can trust you. What are your instincts telling you?”
Logan thought long and hard, trying to find the answer to that question. He tried to find the part that was only him, among the personalities crowding up his mind. Closing his eyes, he tried to center himself, and strangely enough, it had never been as easier than now. Something made him feel at peace.
“That I can trust you too.” He finally declared, once more brushing his lips to the crown of Rogue’s head. The tender gesture making her eyes roll close in pleasure. If he sensed it, the man holding her didn’t show. He just rose slowly, reluctantly to his feet, looking down at the young girl still lying on the floor.
“ I’ll get us some water before the snow starts to fall.”
“Us…?” Rogue asked, perplexed.
“Well, that is if you don’t mind. Id’ like to clean up a bit too.” Logan said pointing at his ruined clothing and the smeared blood on the skin visible through the tears of the many layers he wore. A flash of guilt and shame crossed Rogue’s face like a dark cloud at seeing the evidence of their violent encounter. If Logan noticed, he didn’t show.
With that he halfheartedly turned around, grabbed his jacket and two old wooden buckets that stood by the door and stepped out into the night. Rogue crawled after him but remained next to the bed, just where his blood was still staining the floor and she looked down at it fighting the urge to bend down and lick the floor clean from the thick, red splotches. What was wrong with her? No, she wouldn’t let the beast out, not now, not ever, she had to hold the leash harder and tighter than usual at least as long as he was around. So she just sat there, her eyes closed, monitoring his heartbeats as he stepped further and further away from the cabin. She’d clean up the floor later, when her mind would be hers again; the urge to soak up Logan’s precious blood off the floor and into herself was just too disturbingly strong, and she could only wonder at the strength of her reactions to him.
Rogue thought about the man’s offer to stay with him. God, it was tempting! There was nothing she’d want more than that… Have someone to be with her; stay with her and not hurt her or be afraid. Someone to *be* with. Then she thought about this monster lurking inside of her. She thought about what had just happened between Logan and her, about how easily she almost ended his life…And how she could heal him, maybe even touch him. God! Her mind was a mess, she couldn’t concentrate! It was stronger than her. His sweet and alluring scent was everywhere around her, in the air, on her skin, clouding her judgment. She wanted him, oh yes she wanted him; more than anything. She had to make sure he was alright, make sure he had everything he needed, because well, he was hers and that was all there was to it, he belonged to her even though he didn’t know it yet. As the minutes ticked by on an unseen clock, Rogue felt her grip on the beast inside her slip more and more, until she felt its presence buzz just beneath her skin.
“Mine.” She whispered to herself as her gaze shifted to the dancing flames in the fireplace. It was the first time she felt something so strong for someone, overwhelming. The beast in her screaming that he was hers and that she knew it, he was, she would die for him, and she would protect him.
The thought startled her so hard she felt it like a physical blow to her gut. No, she wasn’t safe to be around… But yet, how could she let him go? Rogue kept listening to the muffled sound of the man’s boots in the snow, his steady breathing as clearly as if he was still there in the room with her. She heard him come back and ran out to help him with the buckets, trying her best to push her primal need for him back to the darkest confines of her mind where it belonged.
Logan poured the water in a giant tank that stood in the basement next to the bathtub and he went out again and again until it was filled up completely. He lit a fire in a small stove-like case under the tank and stayed there watching the flickering flames. Logan knew the girl was there watching the whole scene without a word, he was attuned to her every move. She was tense. It had been such a long time since he felt someone else’s presence that close to him. He had been with women, a few ones bold or crazy enough to get that close to him, thrilled by the idea of high danger sex. But never had he felt the softness of a woman’s flesh under his bare hands, not even a kiss, not until tonight. And then trying to remember the feel of Rogue’s lips on his Logan unconsciously traced his lower lip with a leather clad fingertip. Yes, it felt warm, intimate and painful at the very same time. He had hurt her that way, with something as simple as a kiss he’d almost killed her. One night it happened too but his partner didn’t survive. He’d felt her in his head for weeks, still felt her every now and then when his guard was down, hearing her hateful screams and insults every single minute, he really thought he’d go mad at the time. He had been moving inside and out of her as fast as he could, as protected as he could but then something went wrong. Was it the two condoms that gave up under his desperate assaults on the woman’s body, or was it her frayed leggings, he didn’t know. All he could remember was that he felt a prickling sensation at the base of his member buried deep inside the nameless redhead and the next minute she was dying in his arms. Realizing that there was nothing he could do for her anymore, Logan ran away from the cheap motel room and drove like a mad man, until he crossed the border to Canada. But since that night he promised himself not to ever touch another woman again, no matter what. It was over five years ago.
And there was Rogue, who hadn’t died when he touched her and that thought set his every nerve on fire. But he wouldn’t do that, he couldn’t do that!
The smell of his arousal hit her like a punch to the gut. He wanted her. The beast in her mind roared and then purred his name in her head like a mantra.
“Mine.”
The word escaped her mouth even before she could react. She had made her choice and self control be damned. The man that had saved her hide tonight had taken her in and held her without fearing her or hating her; he would be her mate. He did what no one else had ever done for her. He didn’t reek of fear or sheer disgust when she was close, no, he smelt of nature, of outdoors, and he smelt like hers! The thought was maddening, she knew how desperate it all sounded, but how could she resist the call? Hunger and fatigue clouded her judgment too much for Rogue to focus on anything else than her primal needs; and it included ‘mating’, now.
Rogue stepped closer to Logan’s standing silhouette, inch after inch, silently. The claws in her forearms itching to break free, the tension in her so high it made her tremble. He turned around suddenly aware of her moves, warned by the new entity in his mind. He was feeling her every thought, her every need and her hunger. It wasn’t just about lust and sexual gratification, no, it was about trust, abandon and acceptation, and pure need, and he would be damned if he wasn’t craving those very same things. He stayed there, grounded by the overwhelming presence of her desire. How could someone so small and fragile looking display so much power and contained dominance. She was small and young looking, pure somehow. So he inched toward her, almost unconsciously, trying to understand the meaning of her.
Here he was, at last, close to her. He was so tall that she had to lift up her head full height to meet his eyes. He was also handsome, she could easily tell. She had seen many men in her remembered life; men from the labs, men thrown at her as rewards, men to play with. But she had never touched any of them, they reeked too much of fear, vomit if not other bodily fluids and of death. She never wanted to mate with any of them, they weren’t hers, not like the man standing now in front of her, and they didn’t care for her like he did. It had been her choice, she never backed down, and even though she knew the lab men would introduce her to a world of hurt for not doing as expected, even when those ‘men’ were supposed to be hers to do as she wished.
She lifted a hand to Logan’s flannel covered chest, sensing his heart rate speed up in anticipation. Hazel eyes looked down at her in awe as she started to tug at the buttons of the first shirt. She opened them one by one, taking her time, enjoying the man’s reactions under her ministrations.
His breathing was already erratic, Logan knew it was about to happen right here, right now. The first shirt gone, Rogue continued her explorations getting rid of the second and third layer of flannel and cotton, still attuned to the man’s physical response. But he didn’t move though, didn’t try to discard her from her clothes, he just stood there looking down at her undressing him.
Now the under shirt, a thin piece of white cotton cloth, almost transparent. And it’s her turn to stare in awe at the sculptured chest before her, enhanced vision allowing her to clearly see each detail, each freckle, and each silky hair. Rogue almost lost her composure at the sight of his erected nipples under the fabric and a shiver ran down her spine as the urge to lick them flashed bright and hot in her mind. Logan felt it too, his own self control harshly pressed, but he managed to keep his need down, still afraid of what could happen if he lost it.
He could never hurt her; he realized that, she was right. But now what? She knew she couldn’t touch him skin to skin, knew she might die if she did. Her hand trailed random patterns on his chest where it was protected by a thin layer of fabric, drawing small circles around his nipples, sending electricity throughout his body every time. He was about to spasm already and she knew it. He felt her hand slide down toward his straining groin and press his aching body slightly, just enough to make him clench his teeth and roll his eyes close in pleasure. At the very same time, he felt her warm lips close down on one of his nipples, and then her wet and overheated tongue lavishing upon each in turn, suckling and teasing it with her teeth.
“No, please stop…I can’t…we can’t…please...” Logan tried to articulate between panting and moaning, hands hovering by the girl’s arms, wanting to get her to stop, but yet unwilling to ever see the end of what she’d just started. What was she playing at? He was almost at a breaking point!
“Why?” she murmured, her face still buried in his chest, trailing open mouthed kisses up and down the well defined expanse, her hands never resting still; one low across his denim clad buttocks and caressing, the other clasped on the growing bulge at the front of his jeans.
“I can’t do that…I could kill you.” he said throat tight at the thought, but his body already taking up a rhythm, hips undulating, pushing towards Rogue’s hands.
“You won’t kill me, you won’t ever hurt me. You want it, don’t you?”
“Yes…Oh, yes I do, but…You don’t understand. I just can’t do it.” Still unmoving his arms, acutely aware of their nakedness, of their danger.
Rogue’s hands suddenly stopped and he immediately missed their warmth. She looked at him with an unreadable look to her face. Was she mad he’d refuse her? Was she testing him? The idea was somewhat ludicrous.
“I’ll fill up the tub.” He said after a long pause. “Take your time.”
And with those words Logan was out of the basement leaving Rogue alone with her unfulfilled hunger. What was his problem? She was there, he wanted her and she wanted him, things should have gone differently. Why? That’s when the strong, bitter smell of his pain, anger and frustration reached her. He wanted to take her, but he wouldn’t allow himself because of what he was, his own desire and hunger notwithstanding, he would never take her no matter what.
As realization slowly sank in, Rogue looked at the tub filled with steaming hot water and the beast in her mind murmured that she would have him, she just had to find the right way; there had to be a way. But more than that, beside the desire, there was the beginning of something else. She cared for him, he was hers, and her duty was to help him, let him feel that there was nothing wrong with him and that he could trust her.
His skin, there had to be a way around it, to allow him to touch and be in contact with those around him; with her. Of all people, Rogue knew exactly what touching someone meant. It meant memories, it meant safety, sometimes pain, but it was the best way of knowing who or what you were dealing with. Touching meant death for her too somehow, but she knew there was something else to it, she felt it when that woman in the lab touched her. It was so long ago and it felt so good that she actually cried; it talked about affection and safety and that’s what she wanted to offer Logan as much as she could, even if she didn’t know a lot about that, about showing all that.
She entered the tub after letting go of her dirty clothes and immersed herself completely in the water, still a little confused by the turn the events were taking. Yes, she could help him, she was sure of that, but would he let her?
The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Hi folks!
Have a couple of days off, so I decided to update! (I know, it was long overdue, but well....... Sorry?)
Just know that I *love* remote, secluded places with a nice fire going and a sexy clawed mutant to snuggle up to. And if it serves the plot? Well it's all for the best!
Note the rating for this part...
Enjoy
Have a couple of days off, so I decided to update! (I know, it was long overdue, but well....... Sorry?)
Just know that I *love* remote, secluded places with a nice fire going and a sexy clawed mutant to snuggle up to. And if it serves the plot? Well it's all for the best!
Note the rating for this part...
Enjoy