I held my warm milk in my hands a long while after my talk with Hank, stunned. Like actually telling someone had made it clear that I wasn’t dreaming or anything of the sort. I made my way out to the back porch to grab a seat on the gazebo and finish the milk when I saw him standing outside the window. Facing away, having a cigar as usual. A strong part of me said to walk away and not to engage in any form of discussion with him.
But it didn’t make me any less weak.
“You’re awake too?” I said softly as I walked out and sat on the bench next to him. He smiled slightly when he saw me, but didn’t react other than that. I hated the way his one small grin had enough in it to send a whirl of butterflies through my stomach, and I felt it all over again. I forced myself to regain concentration. “What’s keeping you up?”
He glanced away from me a moment, like he was deciding whether or not to tell me, then he shrugged casually. “Thoughts.” He admitted vaguely. I decided not to press, seeing as he would tell me if he wanted me to know. Instead we just sat there in comfortable silence for a moment. “I’m sorry... about the spring fling.”
I blinked. “Please don’t.”
“Kid...”
“No, we said we wouldn’t talk about it.” I felt the anger build inside. That untamed aggression of not wanting to listen to this and not wanting to talk about anything to do with my current predicament. I didn’t want to deal with this right now. I just couldn’t deal with this right now. I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready to tell him the truth.
“We’re alone.” He said sternly, his voice with a surprising level of authority. “We can talk.”
I took a deep breath resisting my sudden urge to stand up as I tried to sound like I was joking around. “Well it’s a spring ‘fling’ for a reason ain’t it?”
“You wouldn’t have if I hadn’t pushed you to—” He interrupted easily.
“I think I’m ready to go back to sleep—”
“And you were drinking, so I shouldn’t have let you—”
“I’m gonna go—” He grabbed my arm with a fierce grip and held me in place.
“Let me apologize.” His voice a tired grumble, dark and untameable.
I looked into his eyes, warm as melted chocolate staring into mine with the utmost importance. I ran one hand through my hair. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” He was shaking his head before I finished.
“You were drunk.”
“I was sober enough to know that it was mutual so stop acting like you raped me, I’m not a child anymore.”
That stopped him dead in his tracks. But I had no words for the look on his face when I said that. His eyes had softened briefly before his expression hardened into the mask that I had never seen him wear while looking at me. I had to look away.
I stood, gulped down the rest of my milk and walked back into the mansion desperately trying not to cry. I found my pace faster than normal as I made my way through the dining room, past the fireplace and up the stairs towards my bedroom. I wasn’t going to cry. I simply refused. I rushed down my hall and opened the door to my bedroom with a quiet sigh, closing it gently behind me. I crawled back into bed, clamping my eyes closed determined to fall asleep.
Remy’s warm arm curled around my waist pulling me closer to him, the usual embrace we slept in. “You okay?”
I nodded to myself. “Yeah.” I whispered.
***
May 14th
3 Weeks Prior
My eyes trailed across the empty enclosed tennis court, focussing in on the distant lights and the glistening of the grass after fresh rain. The smell, I’d never forget that lush smell of damp soil and the brisk spring air. Everything was moist, cool, something made it all sparkle a bit. I stretched my legs out in front of me, closed my eyes and tipped my head up to feel a small sprinkle of rain mist over my face.
“How long before Gumbo realizes you’re missing?” Logan asked, as he uncorked a bottle of champagne next to me. I motioned vaguely, not really caring. I heard a small snicker from him after my nonchalant answer and he handed me my glass, and picked up his beer. “Well, here’s to another spring fling.”
I clinked my glass against his, acting overly bubbly. “Whoop dee doo.” I took a gulp and rolled my eyes as I looked down at my white lace sun dress that fell just above my knees, but had gotten wet from the last rainfall. “Why d’ya think Xavier throws these things?” If I mispronounced his name, I didn’t notice. All I was aware of was the fact that my southern accent leaked into my voice when I was tipsy.
Logan smiled down towards the ground, as though to hide his amusement at my lack of weight when it came to holding liquor. Wasn’t my fault Remy kept getting me shots, hoping I would go to bed soon so he could show off his dancing skills without my speculating eyes. “After you finish that, we’re going to bed.”
“We?” I emphasized the word, dragging it out dramatically.
“Not what I meant,” Logan shook his head, chuckling.
I leaned against his shoulder, closing my eyes. “Why not?”
He let out one harsh laugh, but it lacked the humour his voice usually had. “Don’t ask me that.”
I peered up at him from where my head rested, trying to understand the tone he was using. Sober me didn’t understand Logan, who could possibly expect drunk me to? “Ah’m honestly curious Logan.” He looked down at me as I spoke, his eyes smouldering me till I lost my train of thought. Words jumbled in my mind. I couldn’t for the life of me put together a sentence.
He lifted one slow and gentle hand to caress my cheek, pushing a white strand of hair out of my eyes with his thumb. I could hear thunder a small distance away, crackling like the sound of a whip, anticipating Logan’s next move.
I wound my hands into the hair on the back of his head, knotting my fingers through his curls. His lips curved into a little smug smirk, as he leaned his face closer to mine. “If I kissed you right now,” he paused. “Would you kill me?”
I couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Only if you’re into that.” I murmured with a small grin. His smile grew slightly before he pulled me closer, maintaining eye contact with one tender movement his lips caught mine. My heart sputtered and sped as the urgency grew into a heavy passion.
My hands shakily found their way up his shirt, his chest warm against my fingers. The heat of his palms slid up my legs, pulling one around his torso so I was straddling him. And almost timidly, his fingers nimbly pushed my dress up my thighs and finally up to my hips. I knew that my breathing was heavy when I started undoing his belt and suddenly he paused with his lips on my neck, close to my ear.
His voice was a small panting whisper. “Are you sure?”
I kissed the nape of his neck gently, breathing hard. In the back of my mind I could hear the Remy in my head hissing dark and devious French swears, but I had gotten used to ignoring him. “Yes.” I breathed against his skin as I felt the air moisten, and the rain began to fall again.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
I don't know why i was able to write another chapter in a day, but it just happened for no apparent reason. I'll get the next one up asap. I promise, either before the weekend or during.
Chapter End Notes:
Comment comment comment! I find them oh so very inspiring. :)