Author's Chapter Notes:
I own nothing. The X-men belong to Sam Lee, Marvel, Fox, and whomever else legally own the rights.

That said, thanks to all you lovely people who have taken the time to tell me what you think.
Chapter 5:

Rogue groaned exhausted as she picked a crying James up, and tried to sooth him back to sleep. After a few minutes and his cries weren't quieting down, she decided to go so he wouldn't keep anyone else awake. Plus she had missed dinner, she could use a snack herself.

"Come on sweetie, let's go downstairs. You can fuss while I eat." Rogue said and headed downstairs to the kitchen.

Rogue rounded the corner entering the kitchen, coming to a stop surprised to see Logan seated at the table nursing a third bottle of beer.

"Sorry, didn't think anyone would be in here at this hour." Rogue said as she came in lightly bouncing a still fussing James.

"Needed a beer." Logan answer gruffly.

"Or three by the looks of it." Rogue smiled then headed over to the refrigerator. "Sorry to disturb you, we'll just grab something quick and get out of you hair." Rogue said opening the refrigerator door and tried to find something that would be quick and easy and wouldn't take two hands to fix.

"Your not bothering me. Want me to hold him so you can use both hands?" Logan asked hopeful, he hadn't had a chance to hold James since the day he went down to the medlab to check on them. James had felt so right in his arms, and he wanted to feel that since of awe and rightfulness again.

"That would be great if you don't mind. Although he's a little fussy. I know that can't be good for your ears." Rogue frowned hating to be a bother.

"Give the little brat to me." Logan smirked making his statement less mean. He was now standing beside Rogue at the island.

"He might be a little brat, but he's all mine." Rogue smiled as she handed over her son to Logan. To both Rogue's and Logan's surprise James quieted down immediately and smiled really big at Logan.
"Awe, he likes you. Look at that big smile. I hardly get to see those." Rogue said with a teasingly pout. "I'm more just the food source and diaper changer." Rogue said with a mock pout as she went back to digging into the fridge.

"Why don't you let others help more." Logan asked as he played with James little hand that was grabbing at Logan's large fingers.

"Because, James is my responsibility. Plus everyone has gone out of their way for me. I don't like taking advantage of everyone. Anyway it's not that bad, what's a little missed sleep." Rogue peeked over the refrigerator door with a small smile before pulling out stuff to make a sandwich.
"Do you want one?" Rogue asked looking over at Logan.

"Here you sit down, and I'll fix the sandwiches." Logan said feeling like he could do at least this much to help her. She was dead on her feet.

"I can do it, I don't mind." Rogue said as Logan got back up and came over to her.

"Well I do, anyway it's partly my fault this little guys is up. So you just sit down and let me take care of it." Logan said putting his free hand on the small of Rogue's back, and steering her over to the table. Once he had her seated, he handed little James back to her, and went to work on making their sandwiches.

"Thanks," Rogue smiled grateful.

"Don't mention it. You still like the works?" Logan asked curious as he started piling everything between two slices of bread.

"Of course, is there any other way." Rogue asked as if the though was unthinkable.

"Stow it Kid." Logan growled but with a smile on his lips and in his eyes.

"James did you say anything?" Rogue asked as she put her ear closer to her son who was now smiling, and making a grab his mommy's hair, which Rogue expertly maneuvered out of his way, but gave him her fingers to play with. "Nope, I didn't think so, but I don't see any other kid in here." Rogue said avoiding Logan's eyes as she keep her attention on James playing with her fingers all the while tried to put them in his mouth.

Logan looked over at Rogue and watched her playing and smiling down at her son laying her arms. She was right she was no longer a kid. She was a mature woman, trying to take care of herself and raise her son, doing a mighty fine job at it, in his opinion. No matter that she had friends that were there to help in anyway. Logan was proud of her. He respected her and her need to take responsibility for herself and the kid.

That didn't stop his want to protect and take care of them. When he thought about Rogue and James his heart felt warm, tight, and full. He couldn't help the smile that came to his face when he thought of them. He wanted to spend as much time with them as possible. He wanted to be a part of James and Marie's life. He wanted to watch James grow up, while being able to teach him about life. Logan wanted to be James's father.

It struck Logan as he watched them that he loved them. He had never felt this warm and encompassing happy feeling when he looked at Jean. He had only felt lust and desire. It was a purely physical reaction. There wasn't nothing emotional about his feelings. He didn't care about spending time with Jean or talking with her about her day. He realized what he had told Jean was true. A relationship was about both of them. She should care about what he wanted just as much as he cared about what she wanted. He couldn't honest say that he did. If he did, wouldn't he care that she wanted his input about the wedding. Instead he didn't really care what she wanted. However he could picture himself helping Marie picking out colors and flowers and cakes if she really wanted him too. He cared what Marie would like and wanted. He was in love for the first time in a long time, and it wasn't with his fiancée. It was with a young woman, who was his best friend, and had giving up on him so he could have what he wanted, so he could be happy. The sad thing was that he wasn't happy, and that the one that made him happy, was the one that gave up.

"Logan are you alright?" Rogue asked frowning confused at Logan who was seemingly to just stand there with a knife in his hand with mayo on it, staring at her.

"What?" Logan jerked out of his unsettling thoughts. 'What in the world was he going to do now that he knew he was in love with her?' Logan,s frowned deepened.

"I asked are you alright? You've been holding that knife, and glaring at me like you couldn't decide whether to us it on the bread or use it on me. Are the sandwiches giving you that much trouble? Maybe you should sit down and let me take a swing at it." Rogue giggled.

"Nah, I got it. Just got lost in thought there for a minute." He answered honestly, making sure none of his conflicting emotions showed on his face.

"Must had been some serious thoughts. If you didn't have a healing factor, I'd bet you'd have permanent frown lines." Rogue teased.

"Ha, Ha very funny." Logan finished up the sandwiches and brought them over to the table.

"I thought so." Rogue laughed as she took the knife from Logan to cut her huge sandwich in half so she could actually fit her mouth around it. James made to grab the knife in her hand, but Rogue jerked the knife away to protect James, causing her to slice her other hand.

Logan grabbed his napkin, and grabbed her balled up fist concerned at how serious she was hurt. Whether she might need to go see Hank. "Let me see your hand, Kid." Logan order concerned.

"I'm fine Logan. It's nothing, forget about it, okay. Let's eat." Rogue said trying to pull her hand out of his grasp.

"Not going to happen, now open you hand. You might need stitches. In fact come on we need to clean it." Logan said starting to come to his feet.

"I'm telling you Logan, it was just a scratch. I'm fine. Now let me go." Rogue said a little more serious.

"Open your hand now, Rogue." Logan said just as serious.

Rogue could tell by the set of Logan's jaw that he wasn't going to let up until she did as he said. She frowned and sighed then relaxed her fist. She watched as Logan opened her hand, to inspected the damage, then frown confused at her unmarred palm.

"Where did it go? I know I saw you cut your hand, and it was more than just a scratch. There’s a good amount of blood on your napkin. What's going on here, Marie?" Logan growled while frowning suspicious at her, retaking his seat.

She knew Logan was dead serious now. He only called her Marie when they were alone, and when it was very important to him. "I picked up some healing while you were away." Rogue frowned upset, her eyes dimming from the pain and sadness of thinking of her past. She withdrew her hand from Logan’s grasp.

"When?" he asked stunned. His frown deepening as he leaned back in his chair and took her in. His sandwich forgot. He paid special attention to her movements and scent. Her scent was sad and upset mixed with nervousness. She was scared to tell him what had happened. "Come on Marie, talk to me." Logan pleaded, leaning forward, reaching over and taking her hand back in his, but this time he held in and caress it gently.

"There's not really much to say.” Rogue returned with a distressed frown and a shrug of her shoulders. “My friends and I were attacked and I had to touch someone to protect myself. End of story. Can we change the subject now?" Rogue said leaning down and kissing James' head of full dark black hair.

"No. Tell me what happened." Logan ordered his voice soft, but serious.

"I told you, we were attacked, and we had to use our mutations to protect ourselves. The Professor helped me regain control afterwards. Hey, look at it this way, now you don't have to worry about me. Heck, I may even out live you, seeing how I'm younger." Rogue tried to lighting up the tension coming off of Logan. She didn't want to talk about what happened with Logan just yet. She still wasn't prepared to go back through the painful time in her life.

Logan didn't looked relieved, if anything he looked more upset.
"I'm sorry Marie, you didn't deserve that darlin`." Logan replied with a deep distressed sigh.

"We deal with the cards we're dealt, right? At least that's what Remy says. Then again, he is a card shark." Rogue said in a weak attempt to tease.

After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, Rogue whispered nervous and uncertain, "Can I ask you a question Logan? You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but it would mean a lot to me if you would?"

"What?" Logan asked almost willing to tell her anything she asked for. He wasn't prepared for the question she chose.

"Have you learned anything about your past?" Rogue knew Logan would either do two things. Tell her to mind her own business, or answer her. His past was one of the things that Logan kept close to his chest. He didn't trust many with the details. She knew it was one of the things that made him feel inadequate, and unworthy. She hoped he trusted her enough to give her an answer of some sort at least.

Logan was quiet thinking about his forgotten past. Part of him still wanted to know the details, while the other part had given up hope on ever finding out. He figured it might be better that way. What if there were things in there he didn't want to know? That he was really only an animal, or that he had been some monster. He didn't normally tell anyone about his past, expect sometimes Chuck, if Logan thought he could help him. Which hadn't been very fruitful. But if there was anyone else in the world that he trusted enough to tell, it was the woman sitting in front of him looking like she was afraid that he would tell her to mind her own business. Which normally was the answer he would have given, to anyone else other than her. She already knew more about him than anyone. She had his nightmares, she already knew his darkness fears and insecurities. He sighed and looked down at his untouched sandwich. "No, I haven't found anything. I've pretty much giving up on finding anything. I've been searching for as long as I can remember, and so far I've found little to nothing but disappointments. I think it's best just to forget it and move forward." Logan growled low with disappointment evident in his voice.

"I see. I'm sorry you haven't found anything. Maybe your right, maybe it best to more forward. But if there was just one thing you could know, what would it be?" Rogue asked needing to know if there was something that Logan wanted to know that she might be able to help him with. She didn't want to bring up his past if he was finally really ready to let it go.

Logan frowned thinking seriously about her question. There were a lot of things he really wanted to know. Like if he had any family still out there? If he had ever been married or had kids. How old was he really? He figured that even if he did have any family, a wife or kids, they would either be dead or moved on without him. He wouldn't want to disturb any of their lives. He didn't see really what it matter how old he was. He would live until he died, there wasn't any need to keep count when you didn't really age.

"There are a lot of things I'd like to know Marie, but it would be nice to know my name. To know who I really am, instead of wondering if Logan is even my real name. To be able to give my family my namesake. But it doesn't do any good to think on something I'll never know. I just have to let it go, and so do you. I know you've got a lot of my thoughts up in that pretty head of yours, but I'm a big boy. I'm old enough for my wants and disappointments not to hurt me." Logan said serious, but gently. "Come on let's eat these sandwiches I slaved over." Logan gave her a forced smirk, wanting to change the subject.

Rogue smile, and let the subject drop. She knew now wasn't the time to press things. Plus she wasn't ready to answer everything once the questions started rolling. "They are master pieces." Rogue grinned and picked up a half of her sandwich and took a huge bite.

A week later news that Logan and Jean had broken up was circulating around the mansion. Rogue pretty much stayed out of sight for a few days. She had heard Jean screaming at Logan about that he didn't care about her, that instead of trying to save their relationship, he spent all his free time with Rogue and James. To everyone's surprise Logan had only stood there, and let Jean yell and scream. When she had seemed to finally run out of things to yell about, Logan calmly and quietly told Jean that the engagement was off. That he wasn't what she needed. She needed someone who loved her better, and could make her happy. He said that he was sorry, but he realized that he couldn't be that person for her.

It was said that Jean had just stood there speechless as Logan calmly and quietly packed his stuff, and left closing the door quietly behind him. There was no anger or resentment in him at all. He only felt sorry that he had hurt Jean, and relief that the relationship was now over.
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