Chapter 4
"There you are Chica, I went downstairs to see if you were hungry, but Hank told me he let you out on good behavior." Jubilee teased coming into Rogue's room.
"I had to promise to stay off my feet until this afternoon, and no heavy lifting until tomorrow." Rogue said from her place stretched out on her bed.
"Like you're going to need to be lifting any semis anytime soon." Jubilee rolled her eyes, then beamed down at James who was sleeping in his basinet. "Oh, I just can't get over how cute he is, and that he is finally here." Jubilee beamed reaching down, and picking up James's little hand. "He's just so tiny." Jubilee gushed.
"He sure didn't feel tiny coming out. He felt huge." Rogue made a face remembering the pain. "I know what you mean though, I find myself just staring at him, and touching him to make sure he's not just a dream."
"You're a mommy now, Chica." Jubilee flopped down on the bed and slapped Rogue's leg.
"I know, it's unreal." Rogue smiled down at her little boy.
"Speaking of unreal, have you talked to the knuckle head yet? I thought he was going to go all animal on us yesterday when he came barreling in the room with his claws out and teeth bared. He about took Remy's head thinking he was the one who got you pregnant."
"No one's told him how I got pregnant, have they?" Rogue frowned upset.
"Relax Chica, no one is going to say anything. That's your decision, when and if to say anything." Jubilee reassured as she patted Rogue's knee.
Rogue let out a relieved sigh and relaxed. Once she thought about it, she knew Logan hadn't known. The Wolverine would be having a fit if he had known how she had gotten pregnant with James.
"He came to see me this morning before Hank let me go. He wanted to know if I was doing okay."
"Did you tell him to kiss you cute mommy behind?" Jubilee hissed out annoyed while smacking her gum.
"No I did not. I told him I was doing okay, and he made me promise to follow Hank's orders. Like I don't have enough people telling me what to do, between you, Hank, Scott, Ro, and the Professor." Rogue sighed good naturedly. She really did love and appreciate their concern and love for her. She knew she really was blessed to have them as her family.
"We're just worried about you Chica, you know we don't mean to smother you, at least not much." Jubilee grinned.
"I know, and I love all of you for it." Rogue smiled and nudge her best friend with her foot.
"So you are just going to make up with him, and act like the knuckle head didn't break your heart by running off with that cheap bottle red head?" Jubes questioned with a small bit of hostility. She knew how sad Rogue had been at Logan choosing to take off with Jean, no matter what her friend said.
"Jubes, knock it off, okay." Rogue sighed frustrated, but knew Jubes was only upset because she care about her. "I've told you I don't know how many times, that I only want what's best for Logan. I want him to be happy, he deserves that, and apparently that's Jean. I'm happy for them, really. I've got James to focus on, and I don't want any hard feelings between Logan, Jean and me. Logan is my friend if nothing else, and I'm not going to lose that if I can help it. So if that means letting him go, then that's what I'm willing to do." Rogue said her voice resolved, but sad.
Logan leaned against the wall beside Marie's door and frowned. Part of him was glad to know that she cared for him, and if he was honest with himself he was touched that she loved him enough to want him to be happy even if it meant being with someone else. However, it unsettled him to know that it must be hard and painful for her to see him and Jean together. No one had ever cared more about what he wanted and needed, than what they wanted. He wasn't sure if he deserved to be happy, but it meant a lot to him to know that Marie believed that he deserved it.
What really bothered him though was that Marie had sound greatly distressed at him finding out how she had gotten pregnant. Like he would be angry at finding out. Had some guy used her and then hit the road, or had something more ugly happened. The thought that someone had hurt her enraged him. She would be right to think that he would be angry if that was the case. The fact that he hadn't met or heard anyone talk about a boyfriend or fiancé made Logan suspect this baby wasn't a plan pregnancy. However the Yellow wonder was right, that it was Rogue's choice when and if to tell him. He would make sure it was a when and not an if. However, he would let her come to him when she was ready. He was determined to be supportive when she told him no matter what had happened. She was his friend too, and if nothing else, he would be there for her. He did promise her to take care of her. 'Yeah, like you've done such a great job with that.' Logan though and headed back downstairs. He'd check up on her later, right now he need to be alone out in nature to think about his mixture of feelings.
A couple of month had past since Logan and Jean came back to the mansion to find Rogue giving birth to little James. Rogue had been friendly and respectful at all times to Logan and Jean's relationship. Logan was very proud of Marie. She was a lot more mature than even some of the older women Logan had met. Even more mature than Jean sometimes. Logan could sense Jean's insecurities growing more and more, which was making her snapper. She had even started questioning his were a bouts more and more. Logan was starting to seriously think about calling an end to his and Jean's engagement. He still cared about Jean, but he didn't know if what he was feeling was really love or not. Logan had been faithful and committed to Jean the whole time they had been together. Her distrustful behavior was starting to be more hurtful to Logan and their relationship. Even their sex life was starting to be affected. Jean was using it against him to get even with something she believed he deserved. Tonight he came back to their room to find her in another foul mood. She accused him of not making an effort to help her plan their wedding. He told her that he didn't care what type of wedding they had, it was a woman’s thing anyway, so do what ever she wanted.
"You don't really want to get married do you?" Jean demanded her voice loud and harsh.
Logan hated when she flew off the handle and started yelling and using that tone of voice with him. Her high pitch screeching grated on his sensitive hearing and his nerves.
"Do you mind lowering you voice." Logan said through gritted teeth.
"Answer me!" Jean snapped ignoring him.
"I'm getting tired of having this same argument Jeannie. I asked you, didn't I? Now whether your dress is white or ivory. Whether you have one or twelve bridesmaids, whether we have a three tier cake, or if we don't have a cake at all doesn't mean squat to me. It's up to you." He grunted out frustrated.
"None of those things are the real issue, Logan. You don't want to marry me. That's the real issue, isn't it? You don't like the fact that I don't want to live out of a camper for another who knows how many years, or move to a remote location away from civilization. You don't like that you can't control me."
"That ain't true Jean, and you know it. I have never tried to control you. But this is a relationship, it's not all about you or what you want. Maybe I don't want to live in the city, or maybe I want to have a say in if we ever have kids or not. This relationship is about both of us. What I want should matter to you, just as much as what you want should matter to me." Logan's answered more in a growl than he wanted. He was trying his best to keep calm. Now was not the time to blow his top. Plus he didn't want everyone in the entire mansion to hear this conversation. His and Jean's relationship was private, and he wanted to keep it that way.
"You can't be serious in wanting children? What do you know about having children?" Jean threw back at him, her voice showing how much she thought he was stupid for even thinking about him as a father.
"I know enough that I at least want to have the option of having them instead of someone deciding for me." Logan demanded heatedly.
"This is my body Logan, I'm the one that has the carry the baby. I'm the one who had to suffer morning sickness, puking my guts up every morning, noon, and night. I'm the one who has to feel tired and crappy all day. I'm the one who has to growing bigger and bigger, and getting stretch marks that will mark my body forever. I'm the one who has to suffer cramps and backaches. I'm the one who has to suffer who know how long a delivery from hell, while trying to push something the side of a watermelon out of my body. Me, Logan, me. Not you. I think I have every right to decide whether I want to suffer all that. When men start being able to carry and give birth then you can talk about what right you have about deciding to have a baby." Jean yelled loud enough that not long afterward they heard a baby start crying upstairs.
As soon as James started crying, Jean’s expression grew more pissed off. "That's another reason why I don't care to have children. They run your life, instead of you. I'd have to be the one feeding it, and caring for it, while you're free to go and come as you please. Thanks, but no thanks."
"Keep it down will you, Rogue just got the kid to sleep a little while ago." Logan snapped thinking how tired Rogue had been looking lately. He knew she was up and down most of the night tending to James. She need every bit of sleep she could get. He had been amazed how well she had been handling the lack of sleep. It was only recently that he had noticed the darkening circles and big yawns more and more each day.
"I think our relationship is more important than Rogue, and if she misses a little sleep. I am so sick of every one fawning over that kid like he's the beginning and end of everything. Then if everyone's not fawning over him, their fawning over poor little Rogue. The girl had a baby for Pete sake people, women do it every day. She's not that special." Jean snapped.
"You know what, I've had enough of this crap, you’re jealous over a baby stealing the spot light from you. Grow up Jeannie. I'm going downstairs to get a beer. Don't wait up." Logan growled, stomping from the room, slamming the door behind him.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
I don't own them, I just enjoy playing with them, and reading others who play with them. The X-men belong to Stan Lee, Marvel, Fox and whomever else has the rights. Those Lucky People.
Thanks to everyone who review.
Thanks to everyone who review.