Chapter 16
“I’m sorry about the lights.” Rogue sniffed wiping her tears away having calmed down.
“Don’t worry about that, Honey. The Professor and I have been talking about new lighting in here for some time now. This will make us stop procrastinating and make a decision.” Scott smiled trying to ease the guilt he knew Rogue always felt after an episode.
“Where’s Logan?” Rogue asked taking a steadying breath. She knew she had to talk to him about what Jean had said. She couldn’t let him think James was Sabertooth’s.
“I don’t know, come on, I’m sure we can find him.” Scott answered as he and Ro help Rogue to her feet.
“Rogue, how are you feeling?” The Professor asked meeting them in the Rec. room.
“Better, I’m sorry about the library. I’ll find a way to pay for the damages.” Rogue said sincerely hating all the trouble she kept causing everyone.
“Nonsense, you will do no such thing. The lighting needed updating anyway. Now I’m sure you wish to speak with, Logan.” The Professor informed her, then giving her a kind smile.
“Yes sir, where is he?” Rogue asked nervous. She hated facing him, and having to tell him about Sabertooth and everything, but knew it had to be done.
“He has taken James for a walk. There is no need to fear, my dear, all will be well.” Charles picked up on Rogue nervousness about confront Logan. He also thought she might be worried about James’s safety with the Wolverine. The Wolverine’s emotions were surging all over the place, due to his just finding out Victor Creed was his brother, and could have been James’s father. With a calm voice Charles assured her. “James is perfectly safe. They are in the northern woods whenever you are ready to find them.”
“Thank you, Professor.” Rogue smiled truly thankful for his, Ororo, and Scott’s support. She took a deep breath, then went to find Logan and her son. Knowing what had to be done.
Twenty minutes later, she found Logan sitting on the ground with his back leaning against a fallen tree. James was sitting in his lap, leaning back against Logan’s bent thighs.
“Hey.” She called out softly, but knew that Logan had heard her.
Logan’s only response was to grunt. Rogue sighed knowing she was going to have to tell Logan everything. There was no holding back.
“Can I sit with you?” She asked not wanting to approach him uninvited. Although she didn’t fear him hurting her, she could tell that the Wolverine was just under the surface, and he didn’t like having his space invaded without his permission.
Again he only grunted at her. Rogue took it for, “do what you want,” and sat down beside him.
Rogue remained quiet for a few minutes just watching as Logan stared down at the little boy in his lap. She took a deep breath to steady herself, before letting it out nervously and in a soft subdued tone explaining what had happened between her and Sabertooth.
“James is your son, Logan. Like I told you, Hank will retest if you want, but I have never lied to you before, and I would never lie to you about something like this.” Rogue affirmed. “It is true at first, about me thinking it was possible about Sabertooth being the father.” Rogue said cringing. “Sabertooth was working with the people who had me, and he would rape me.” Rogue whispered shaky. “He enjoyed hearing me scream, begging for him to stop. The same day they put the fertilized eggs inside me, Sabertooth had raped me, and the condom broke. That’s the other reason I had Hank test James. I prayed everyday that it would be you. I just couldn’t be sure until Hank got the results.” Rogue said taking a unsteady breath before continuing. “It is in my file about me being unsure, but it is in James’s file about you being the father. You can look at the file, and see for yourself if you want.” Rogue said praying that Logan would believe her. That he would smell the truth of her words underneath her nervous and scared scent.
“James is mine.” Logan growled abruptly, shooting her a hard possessive glare.
“Yes, James is yours. Yours and mine. He is our son.” Rogue said passively knowing Logan and Wolverine were upset and territorial.
“Why did Jean say Sabertooth and I were brothers?” Logan demanded upset continuing to watch her with a hard glare, but Rogue could clearly see uncertainty in his hard eyes.
Keeping her voice soft and gentle she answered, “Because, he is.”
“No, he’s not! I’m not related to that overgrown Sewer Rat! I’m nothing like him.” Logan snarled.
“No, you’re not.” Rogue quickly assured him, confidence strong in her voice. Not wanting him to associate himself with the likes of Sabertooth. “You’re nothing like him, Logan. You’re a good man. A honorable man. A man with decency and kindness. A man worthy of respect and love. You are a wonderful man, Logan, you are nothing like Sabertooth.” Rogue stated assuredly and with sincere fervor.
“How can you be so sure we’re brothers then?” Logan frowned eyeing her intently, but also glad that he could hear and smell her sincerity in not believing him to be anything like Creed.
Rogue sighed upset having to tell him how she knew. Closing her eyes for a moment, she drew in a deep breath, trying to gather her courage. Reopening her eyes, she glanced down at her son sleeping in his father’s embrace, unaware of his parents turmoil. Rogue lifted her sad eye up to Logan before answering. “Because Logan, I absorbed him, and two other people who knew the both of you, from before you lost your memories.” Rogue answered knowing this was going to be hard for him, but also knowing this could be where she lost him for good.
“You WHAT?!” Logan snapped in shock, his eyes wide, staring at her in confusion and disbelief.
Logan loud upset voice, startled James awake, causing him to start squalling, kicking his little legs and waving his little arms about scared and upset. Logan winced at the pain, but continued to stare in shock at Rogue.
“Shh, it’s alright, Sweetie. You’re alright.” Rogue soothed as she reached over, taking James from Logan, and placing him against her shoulder, bouncing him gently, whispering calming sounds and words of reassurance. James quickly quieted down, and drifted back to sleep against Rogue’s chest.
Once James was quiet, Rogue looked back over to Logan. “I wanted to be able to tell you everything that I knew Logan, but I needed time. I needed to be more stable.” Rogue hurried to explain. “To tell you everything, I have to go back inside the memories. Sabertooth has a very wicked and sick mind. His memories are very hard to deal with. I try to keep them pushed back and locked away tight. That’s how I got the healing, him plus another woman.” Rogue told him shakily, tears started to form in her eyes.
“Did you kill him?” Logan asked part of him hopeful, the other part wanted to kill the monster himself.
“I did, but they were able to restart his heart by shocking him. It took quite a few shocks though. They didn’t try to save the woman.”
“Who did you absorb that knew me?” Logan demanded quietly so not to wake James, but with no less intensity, wanting answers.
“One of the two, I’m not sorry for, but the other I am very sorry for, Logan, and I want you to know I didn’t want to do it, but I didn’t have a choice.” Rogue whispered sadly.
“Who where they?” Logan asked again. He had given up hope of ever finding out anything about his past, and now he had a chance to learn at least some of it.
“Do you remember a man by the name of William Stryker?” Rogue asked watching his face closely for any signs of recognition.
Logan frowned thinking hard. The name seemed to ring a bell, but he couldn’t remember why, or grasp any information. “The name sounds familiar, but I can’t recall him. Why, who is he?”
Rogue took a deep breath bracing herself for the rage she knew was to come, then said gently, “He’s the one responsible for giving you the metal skeleton and metal claws.”
With a hard low growl, Logan jumping to his feet and starting to pace, popping said claws in and out. “How do you know this?” Logan demanded out as he would glance at her every few moments while pacing.
“I should start at the beginning, or as much of it as I know.” Rogue sighed resolved. “Your full name is James Logan Howlett.”
Logan’s pacing came to an abrupt stop, as he just stared at her speechless, overwhelmed that after all these years, he finally knew his real name. He didn’t doubt anything Marie said. He could smell the truth. He repeat the name to himself still overwhelmed, then glanced down at James in Marie’s arms. Realizing with satisfaction and prided that his son cared his name.
Rogue saw his eyes drop to James who was starting to stir from all the noise, but was still mostly sleeping. “That’s why I named him James, after you.” Rogue’s voice wobbled, but she had a tender smile on her lips as she gazed down at their son in her arms.
Logan didn’t say anything, after a few silent moments he started pacing again, his pleasure over his son caring his name replaced with his need for information. “Go on.” he ordered gruffly.
Rogue didn’t take offense to Logan’s barked order. She knew this was hard for him. Rogue gave as much detail as she could remember and told him all she knew, crying off and on. By the end, Logan had clawed trees, and howled angrily, shredding trees to nothing but splinters.
“I didn’t want to absorb Kayla, but Stryker had her strapped to a table, while he had Sabertooth forced me to touch her. I tried to stop my mutation, but I just couldn’t.” Rogue rushed out, hugging a whimpering James to her chest. “She loved you very much. She hated that she lied to you in the beginning, but she did it for her sister. She wanted me to tell you that she was sorry and that she did love you.” Rogue said, then cried silently as a panting Logan collapsed against a tree across from her, looking totally haggard, and unsure what to think or say.
Holding his head in his hands, Logan tried to process all that Marie had told him. “Is Stryker dead?” Logan grunted, his urge to kill the man great, for what he had done not only to Logan, himself, but to Kayla, and Marie.
“Yes, I’m sorry you didn’t get to do it yourself, but at least you can know he suffered.” After a couple of minutes of silence, Rogue came to her feet. James in her arms looking around upset and unsure after the loud noise from his father’s anger and pained commotion. “You need time to think and absorb everything. We’ll leave you alone to think.” Rogue said softly, her heart heavy and pained at knowing Logan was hurting, and she could very well lose his friendship and his love. She was scared that he would realize that she wasn’t worth loving, and leave her. She cried quietly into James’s hair as she headed back to the mansion leaving Logan to himself.
Logan stayed in the forest for the rest of the night, again leaning back against the fall tree Marie had found him and James. His mind going over everything he had learned. He was relieved to finally have answers. He was distressed to know he and Creed were really brothers. Although, Logan had no allegiance to the man. Creed had tried to kill his fiancée, and destroy his life, then he tried to kill him, and hurt Marie. The man was as good as dead to him. A part of him wished he had gotten a chance to meet and talk to this Kayla Silverfox woman, but he wouldn’t trade what he had with Marie and James for someone he didn’t remember. Even if they had loved each other once before.
“James Logan Howlett.” Logan whispered aloud, thinking about his two fathers. One who raised him, and one who sired him. Now his own son was named after him. Finally calm, Logan smiled at knowing James carried his name. Logan wanted both James and Marie to carry his last name as well.
He also knew Marie was scared he wouldn’t love her anymore once he found out about her killing Kayla, as well for not telling him about his past right away. He couldn’t blame her for killing Kayla, she had been forced too. As for not telling him about his past, he knew now. She should have taken care of herself first. He knew she had suffered to bring the memories back to the surface. He had smelt her pain and fear. He had been just to volatile at the time to comfort her. She was strong though, and brave. She got through it, so he could know about his past. He needed to make sure that he thanked her for being brave enough to give him back his missing past, along with a part of himself.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Disclaimer: I don’t own the X-men. All rights belong to Stan Lee, Marvel Comics, and whomever else owns rights. I have not nor will I receive any form of compensation for this story.
Hello my loyal fans. (I’ve always wanted to say that. LOL!!) Anyway seriously, thanks everyone for your taking a chance and reading my story. A big shout out and BIG WAVE to Wanderlust, Melancholy Rogue, and Serafim for reviewing. It puts a smile on my face to know that all of you are enjoying my story.
Hello my loyal fans. (I’ve always wanted to say that. LOL!!) Anyway seriously, thanks everyone for your taking a chance and reading my story. A big shout out and BIG WAVE to Wanderlust, Melancholy Rogue, and Serafim for reviewing. It puts a smile on my face to know that all of you are enjoying my story.
Chapter End Notes:
A reader on another site pointed out that I had Sam Lee instead of Stan Lee in the disclaimer. I've corrected it in this chapter. I have been copying and pasting the disclaimer, so all the past chapters have Sam Lee as well. I plan on going back and changing that soon. Sorry Mr. Stan Lee, and all you hardcore Stan Lee fans.