That evening after dinner, Rogue sat outside on a bench in Ororo's rose garden keeping Ro company while she pruned her prized roses. Logan had taken James, declaring the boy needed more male bonding time, or he was going to turn in to a wuss like Scooter. Rogue knew by Logan's smirk, he was only teasing. Rogue was secretly thrilled with Logan wanting to spend time with James, so she let the two important males in her life go off to do whatever males did to bond.
Now that she was alone with her thoughts, Rogue hugged herself with a deep frown, sighing feeling discontented, confused, and nervous.
Looking back at her friend at hearing the distress sigh, Ro frowned concerned. She laid her shears down and sat down beside Rogue, placing her arm around the younger woman's shoulders, giving a gently squeeze. Ro smile warmly at Rogue when she looked up.
"Would you like to talk about what is upsetting you?" Ororo asked gently knowing Rogue was still suffering greatly from everything. She wouldn't press if Rogue said no, but she wanted Rogue to know she was always willing to listen.
Rogue's frown deepened and she sighed again, but she needed someone to talk to that she trusted, and would be honest with her without being judgmental.
"Logan told me he loves me. As in, in love with me. Ro, he doesn't know. If he knew, he would hate me. I don't want to lose him, but I can't let him attach himself to me. What should I do? I can't tell him, but I can't not tell him either." Rogue sighed greatly upset and frustrated.
Ro sighed herself, unsure how to help the young woman, who bore so much on her shoulders. She wanted to be angry at the world. Rogue had loved Logan since she had first laid eyes on him, and now she should be excited and happy to have his love returned, but instead it was just more heartache for the young woman.
She gave Rogue's shoulder's another squeeze, hoping to give her some comfort. "What you decide to tell Logan, is up to you, Honey. I know Charles told you that he, Scott, and Hank had to explain about the kidnapping and absorptions after last night. However, they have not revealed any of the details. That is for you to decide, when and if to tell him and how much if anything.” Ororo stated seriously. Reaching up to smooth Rogue’s hair back, she continued in a soft, but confident voice, “I know it may not have seem so, but Logan has always loved you in his own way. Even before his affair with Jean." Ororo was positive she was right. Logan may have lusted and desired Jean, but Ororo had not be blind or fooled, like most others, in who really owned the Wolverine’s heart.
"I don't think so, Ro, at least not romantically. Sure he cared about me, but he loved Jean, not me. I was just the first person he allowed himself to care about in a very long time." Rogue rebutted.
"Honey, it is true that you were the first person he allowed himself to care about, but you are wrong about him not loving you. Yes, he chased Jean relentlessly, especially right before they left. However I believe it was more because he was afraid." Ororo smiled softly.
"What do you mean?" Rogue asked confused. She didn't see the mighty Wolverine being afraid of anything.
"You were a threat to him." Ororo stated simply.
"Logan knows that I would never hurt him with my skin, at least not on purpose." Rogue stated hurriedly.
"Of course not. I'm not talking about that type of threat. Honey, you threaten his heart. Logan had all these intense emotions, and feelings swirling around in him for you, that he just wasn't ready to deal with. He didn't believe he was any good for you. You, a young girl, and him a unknown age, rough cage fighter with an unknown past, and not a very pretty life style. To him, you are someone precious, and should be cherished. The only way to make sure you had a chance at a normal, and happy life was without him. So he chose what he was comfortable with. He cared about Jean, Rogue, but she was no threat to his heart, like you were. He loved you even then Honey." Ororo stated feeling positive in her belief.
"I just don't know. I know he cared about me, but he never showed any signs of wanting me that way, Ro." Rogue still refused to accept the possibility was true.
"Think back. Remember how he used to threaten every boy that showed the slightest interested in you. Poor Bobby nearly wet himself when Logan snarled, and threatened him with his claws. Then there was Peter, David, Nate, St. John, Matt, just to name a few." Ro smiled.
"Yes, but that was just Logan being overprotective." Rogue countered.
"There was no one ever good enough for his Rogue." Ro smiled at the young woman, then continued, "He would watch you during the day. Always knew where you were. Always making sure to spend time with you. Always touching you."
"Logan and I are friends. He knows how important touch is to me, and how everyone was afraid to even get near me. That's what friends do for each other." Rogue still gently argued.
"Did you ever notice it was only after your eighteenth birthday that he started chasing Jean more seriously. You can believe me or not Rogue, but Logan has always loved you. No matter how hard he tried to deny it, or how much you refuse to accept it. My point is that Logan has always been attached to you. His feelings are not fleeting. We both know him to be a stubborn man, and not easily dissuaded once he has decided. I know things will be hard, but I do believe Logan's love for you will remain secure if you decided to open up to him and accept his love.” Ororo stated sincerely, hoping she was easing her friend’s mind and heart.
"Do you really think so? If you were me, could you tell him that you killed the woman he loved?" Rogue asked with such despair and helplessness that it broke Ro's heart.
Pulling Rogue into her embrace, she hugged her tightly, wishing she could take this burden from Rogue’s heart. It was no wonder the poor child was afraid. Ro frowned concerned, but she had faith in Logan. It might be hard to deal with, but he would not hold something against Rogue, that had been outside of her control. Ororo felt sure Logan would forgive Rogue, and not abandon her. At least, Ro prayed not for Rogue's sake. The young woman could not take much more heartache before it destroyed her.
"All I can tell you Honey, is that Logan loves you. I believe that with everything in me. What happened was not your fault, and I don't believe he would blame you for something you could not control." Ro tried to comfort Rogue, who was clinging to her tightly back.
"I'm scared Ro. I don't want to lose him." Rogue whispered frightened.
"No matter what happens Honey, you will always have us. You are very special to all of us. James and you will always have a home here with people who love you very much." Ro said her eyes wet with tears.
"I love you too. I love all of you. Everyone has been so wonderful to me, especially when I don't deserve it." Rogue whispered wiping at her own tears.
"Don't say such things. Nothing that happened was your fault. No one blames you. You are family, you and James will always deserve our love. Now don't forget that young lady." Ro stated firmly, pulling back to meet Rogue’s watery gaze.
"Yes your Highness." Rogue said with a brief smile. She love Ro very much, as she did Scott, Hank, Jubes and the Professor. She couldn't have asked for a better family. Thankful they still cared about her.
Becoming serious once again, Rogue needed to ask Ro something important. "Ro, what should I do about James?" Rogue asked looking up into Ro's face. Nervousness and anxiety back in Rogue expression.
"That is a difficult question, Honey. I know you are unsure how to handle things with Logan, but Logan cares a great deal for James. He would not turn his back on the child."
"I know he wouldn't, but what if he tries to take him away from me?" Rogue’s voice trembled as she worried her bottom lip with her teeth.
"Rogue, do you honestly believe Logan would ever do such a thing?" Ro asked surprised that Rogue would believe Logan would try to take James from her.
"Not now no, but what if after he finds out what I've done, and what I am? What if he does hate me, and thinks I'm a terrible person and mother?" Rogue asked fearful.
Ororo frowned and spoke with a soft, but serious tone. "Rogue, I'm not going to tell you what to do. All I can tell you is to look inside yourself for the answer. You of all people, know Logan better than anyone. I can tell you that he loves you. All I can say is to have faith in that love. But you can rest assure that we would never let anyone take James away from you." Ro said taking Rogue's hand and squeezing it, while smoothing her hair away from her face.
"Who's trying to take James from you?" Logan demanded sharply as he stepped out of the doors from the green house carrying a fussy James.
"No one, Logan." Ro said covering as she stood up so Logan could take her place next to Rogue.
"Don't you worry, Darlin, no one will ever take James away from you. They'd have to go through me first, and two set of adamantium claws. I promise you, I'll always take care of you and James. Now this little guy is demanding to be feed, and I'm not properly equipped for the job." Logan said with a smirk, trying to cheer Marie up.
Ro laughed causing Rogue to giggle as well, as Rogue took James from Logan arms.
"I'm going to go inside, and enjoy my husband's company. You two enjoy the evening. Rogue have faith." Ro spoke gently smiling tenderly at her friend.
"Thanks for listening Ro." Rogue said sincerely, thankful for Ro’s friendship.
"I'm always here for you, Honey." Ro smiled then left the three alone to bond, hopefully as a family.
"Is everything alright, Marie?" Logan asked concerned at the smell of Marie's distress. He watched as she arranged her clothes, and started nursing her son.
"Yes and no." Rogue said feeling to vulnerable right now to tell Logan about James. She knew deep down that Logan deserved the right to know, but she was still terrified of what his reaction would be to the news, as well the other things she had done. She just wasn't ready to tell him everything yet.
"Tell me what's wrong Marie, and I'll do my best to fix it." Logan said earnestly, wanting to take care of whatever was upsetting her.
"Not yet, okay? I'm still not really sure how to tell you." Rogue spoke softly with a nervous frown.
"Whenever you're ready to tell me Marie, and whatever it is, we'll deal with it together. I love you, and that's not going to change. I'm here for you. I'm going to take care of you, no matter what you need to tell me." Logan promised seriously.
"I don't want you to promise that Logan. Once you know everything, and only then, do I want you to decide if you can make that type of promise." Rogue stated seriously, her gaze intent as she met his.
"I don't have to wait to promise you that, Darlin, but if it will make you feel better then I will. But I want you to know that I love you with everything in me." Logan declared as he leaned over and kissed the side of her head.
He knew she still didn't completely believe him, but he hoped if he keep telling her every chance he got, that it would start to sink in, and take hold.
She only smiled tightly at him as she always did when he told her, he loved her. Logan knew they still had a long ways to go, but she was worth the wait and the battle.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men. All rights belong to Sam Lee, Marvel Comics, and whomever else owns rights. I have not nor will I receive any form of compensation for this story.
A/N: Just to let all of you know that I'm taking details from the Wolverine Origin movie, but it’s not going to be exactly like the movie, as you saw with Remy. Seeing how he is not a part of Logan's past in my story. There are other things that I have changed and are playing with so, just to let you know so you won’t be thinking, THAT'S NOT RIGHT, OR THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED. You'll see what I mean in the next few chapters.
A/N: Just to let all of you know that I'm taking details from the Wolverine Origin movie, but it’s not going to be exactly like the movie, as you saw with Remy. Seeing how he is not a part of Logan's past in my story. There are other things that I have changed and are playing with so, just to let you know so you won’t be thinking, THAT'S NOT RIGHT, OR THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED. You'll see what I mean in the next few chapters.
Chapter End Notes:
I hope you like the new chapter, feel free to review.