This isn’t my room. Isn’t my bed, either. Too short and narrow. Too many stuffed animals staring at me from the shelf above. Shit. Too much Marie wrapped around me. Absolutely too much. Well, at least I have clothes on. She didn’t have her wicked ways with me after all. Damn. Should wake her up. Should talk with her. We should both take turns in talking and listening. Maybe we could get this mess sorted out. But where to start?
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
“How do you feel?” Well, I feel like somebody drove me over with a truck and stuffed a turd to my mouth, but…
“I’m okay. I’ll just go… I’ll go and wash up a bit. Get something to eat. Wait here. You want some breakfast?”
“I’ll have what you’re having…” Dear God she’s cute. Cute as a kitten, curling under those blankets. I could get used to waking up like this. Waking up with her. That’s not the part that worries me. Not even close. This is actually something I have wanted to do for a long time now. What worries me is the part that comes before this.
She’s going to have what I’m having? Roast beef sandwiches it is. Made from white bread. What a rebel! Fuck. Who am I kidding? She’ll lop off my head if I make them from this shit. Where’s that… There. Come on. Rabbits, birds and hamsters eat seeds. We learned to grind them to flour ages ago. Well, she likes this health-crap, so health-crap she gets. Coffee for me, tea for her. Not that Ororo’s herbal stuff. That crap smells god-awful. Nope. Besides Marie likes peppermint more. What else? Cookies. Cookies… Where the fuck they are?
“Are you looking for these?” Sulphur and beeswax. Black cloud, and a plate with cookies appear out of nowhere. Then he’s gone. Our very own Casper.
“I’m still not through with you yet…” Another bamf and he’s sitting on a counter, next to the tray.
“Breakfast for two? Things are starting to… Looking up?”
“You could say that. But do me a favor. Do not answer to your phone if Marie calls.”
“Does she have a reason to call me?” I never thought a blue, skinny guy with a tail could look threatening, but I knew all I had to do was to give her a reason to call, and Kurt would be there within a second from that call. First he would take her out from there. Then he would try to take me out for good.
“I hope not.”
“So…”
“You or me first?” She asks.
“Me. I already made an ass out of myself last night. I have nothing to loose.” Except the shreds that are still left from my dignity, but if giving up them helps to sort this through, it’s worth it. So, here goes nothing…
“I have never made love. Not that I recall.”
“But Logan… What about… I have seen your memories. What about those women…”
“Easy lays. One cheap fuck after another. Absolutely too long list, and I don’t want to add your name and face to that list.” That would be a new low even for me.
“Every one of them…? Didn’t they mean anything to you?” Shit. Don’t cry. Don’t you fucking cry now. I can’t keep talking if you start to cry.
“They meant something when it happened. But when it was over… Heck, none of us wanted to stick around any longer than it was necessary. They had husbands and boyfriends waiting at home, I had more miles to cover.”
“That sounds…”
“Awful. I know. I’m really just a big bastard.”
“No. That sounds lonely. And sad. How could you go on like that? Day after day? I would have… I don’t even know what I would have done!” I knew. I knew what to do. Tried it enough times to realize I couldn’t take my own life. At least not permanently. Kept waking up, no matter what I did. But that’s something she doesn’t need to know. That part of my life is locked up so deep she would need a fucking bulldozer to dig it up and rifle through.
“What about Jean?”
“She was different. Probably mainly because I had no chance to nail her. And I actually had the time to get to know her. Know the person.”
“Would you have done it? Fucked her?” Wasn’t this supposed to be me talking, she listening? How the hell this turned to a “twenty embarrassing answers”?
“Yeah. I would have.”
“But you wouldn’t do it with me?” Shit. Back to square one. What part of my rambling she missed?
“No.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want to loose you. I need you in my life.”
“And I want you in my life. All of you. In case you haven’t noticed, I haven’t needed a guardian for a long time now. I need a man. And I want you to be that man.” Fuck. Should have asked Kurt’s number. I could use a lift right now…
“What you need, and will soon get if you don’t stop this, is a good spanking. Kid… Marie. Sorry, I try to remember to call you that… I don’t want to fuck you. I want to make love to you. I want to wake up next to you every morning so bad it fucking hurts, but I can’t. I don’t know how to do it. How to make it work. I have never done those things before.”
“So? I haven’t done those things either! Why can’t we try and learn together?”
Have I already told you she’s a genius?
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