This is getting real old, real fast. I have to get her cornered and make her talk. But first I have to confiscate her cell phone. Can’t have Kurt bamfing to the rescue at the wrong moment. And I already know how to do it. Every Saturday she goes swimming. Alone of course, now that her skin is “an issue” again. All I have to do is to keep my head together for couple more days. Shouldn’t be that hard. Shouldn’t. Fuck. It’s a miracle I haven’t blown the gasket already. I just want to make sure she’s all right, and she has everything she needs, but every time I manage to sneak close enough she bolts away like I have a leper or something. Kurt isn’t helping much. He seems to think he’s her personal watchdog. Fucking Nightcrawler… Back the fuck off. She already has one mean mutt covering her ass. Mean and pissed off.
Logan, do this. Logan, do that. Logan, don’t do it. Logan, must you every time… Yackety-yackety-yack! I nearly skewered Weathergirl today. I had erased that nightmarish scenario with Magneto in it, and wrote a new one. Replaced Bucket head with Sabretooth. Kids get their fair share of action, and I don’t have to worry over early arthritis. Was testing it when she stormed in. Told me I shouldn’t squander resources for my personal use. Fuck, if I were doing this just to get my rocks off, I would have programmed the playmate of the month instead of Vic! Not so pleasant as one might think. Tried it once. No need to try again. Anyway… There was I, claws buried to knuckle to good old Vic when Ororo froze the whole fucking scenario and left. I would have probably been there for a while if Pyro wouldn’t have gone past on his way to the gym. He melted Vic just enough that I could get loose. Then he ran off and locked me in before I managed to get after Ororo. Have to thank the kid some day. As soon as he stops running away every time he sees my face. And it’s only Thursday evening. Two whole days before I can kick back and relax. Because I’m not letting Marie out of that pool house until we have cleared this fucked up mess once and for all.
Danger Room is now off limits for me. Ororo took away my clearance there, and told me to go and find some other place to act out my aggressions. Fucking unbelievable. Is that woman insane? I know I will be, soon enough. I can’t go to gym. Those frilly gadgets they have in there… Wouldn’t stand a chance with me now. Better just sit out here and grit my teeth. At least those will grow back if I break something. And if that Weatherbitch knows what’s best for her, she will keep away from me. Oh, is that sulphur I smell…?
What the fuck are they doing? Why is she crying? I swear if that blue bastard has done something to her…
“Marie?” Shit. That came out all wrong. Wasn’t going to sound so angry. Well that got her attention. And Kurt is backing off. Good. What were they doing out here anyway? It’s past curfew already.
“You have my number if you need a lift,” I can hear Kurt whisper to her. She nods and clutches the phone in her hand when he disappears.
“Has something happened?” I really try to sound worried. I am worried. But the best I can muster is something between plain angry and total berserk.
“We have to talk, Logan.” Finally! Give the lady a prize!
“Yeah. We have to. Because I’m splitting from the seams already. Talk to me, Marie. Tell me what you want from me, because I don’t have a fucking clue what’s going on!” Should stop screaming. I don’t want nosy audience busting in right now. Not when she’s about to spill her beans.
“I don’t have the right to ask you what I want.” That doesn’t sound right. If she wants something from me, she can have it. Anything.
“Ask anyway. I can’t take this anymore. I want you back.”
“I told you I love you…”
“And I love you. So what’s the problem?” She flinches and turns her gaze to the ground, plucking grass with her fingers.
“It’s not the same. Not the same. And it hurts…” Oh, for fuck’s sake… She can’t possibly mean…
“When I touched you, I saw you. Saw your mind. You don’t look at me like you looked at her. Like you looked at Jean. You love me, that I know. But you just love me, and that’s not enough.”
“Kid, I don’t…” She tries to hush me.
“Shut up and listen.” And that sounded really angry. Well, at least she shut her mouth.
“You don’t want it. You don’t want me to see you like I saw Jean. Ever. Maybe what I feel for you isn’t enough, but what I felt for Jean… What do you think it was?”
“At least you saw her as a woman. You look at me, and all you see is a kid!” Crap. Fuck. Shit. I knew this day would come, sooner or later. I was hoping later.
I really, really would like to say I handled it like a mature adult. Sat down and talked it through with her. Starting from fucking bees and flowers, ending to the point where protection was needed. Tossed in couple warnings and big talk about feelings, responsibility and stuff. Told her about me. What I was. What I did. Why she should stay away from me and be fucking grateful I didn’t want to fuck with her.
That was the big talk we were supposed to have. I chickened. As soon as I realized she was actually talking about why I wanted to fuck Jean, but not her, I run off. Took Scott’s bike. Here I am now. At the same roadhouse I was in last week. Bartender does his best, trying to drown me to the strongest booze this place has to offer, but it isn’t working.
I fucking lost her.
It’s kind of hard to drink when you cry so hard you can barely see the shots in front of you. Why the fuck he can’t just leave the bottle?
This really isn’t working. I’m not as think as you drunk I am. That line must be older than me.
Fuck. Better go and clean up my face. Can’t sit here puffy eyed and drooling.
Better… What the fuck? Who the hell took my bottle?
“Kid?” Now I know I must be drunk. It’s Marie. She stole my booze. And it looks like there are two… No. There’s three of her. Which one is the right one? Why is she taking that bottle away? Aww, come on, woman! It’s your fault I’m in here. In this state. Don’t you start nagging at me now…
“Come on, Logan. I came to take you home.”
“No. I’m not coming. Not with you. Ever. You don’t want that…”
“Logan? Logan! Wake the fuck up!”
“Easy, missy. I’ll help you there… Where’s your car?”
“Just around the corner. Jesus! How much did he drink?”
“Apparently enough.”
Don’t you fucking touch me. Keep your paws off from me. Let me go! Let me go!
“Stop that, before you break something. It’s just a seatbelt.” Seatbelt? Might be. Might very well be. Marie wasn’t in the lab. Never. Never in there. Now, if I can only crack my eyes open… Just a little… Oohkay… In a car. No bright lights. Just car. And Marie. Good. Can sleep now…
“Wha…”
“Logan? Wake up. I can’t carry you. You have to walk to your room.”
“Stop shaking. I think I’m going to be sick if you don’t stop…”
“No wonder. Well, get up now…” Oww. I can’t even see. Does she really expect me to walk straight? All those stairs? Fuck.
“Just take me to rec room. I’ll sleep this off there…”
“Can’t do that. Ororo’s still pissed at you. Wouldn’t want her to freeze your jewels like she threatened to do earlier.”
“Of course you wouldn’t want that. You want to have a go with me and my jewels…”
“Fuck. Can we talk about that in the morning? When you’re sober?”
“I think we can. Hey, why are we whispering?”
“Because it’s five am, and I don’t want to wake up the whole mansion.”
“Why we shouldn’t wake them up? Do you have something in your mind?”
“I just want to get you in bed…”
“I knew it! But you really, really don’t want it, Kid!”
“Shut the fuck up, already. There. This is your room. Can you make it to the bed if I leave you here?”
“Which door it was again?”
“Fuck.”
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