Title: Feeling Sorry For Rogue
Author: Tornado Ally
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Set about 4 months after X2. Rogue's life, told through letters, emails, and notes from Secret Societies, like in Feeling Sorry for Celia
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em...
A/N: The format of this story is based on the Book Feeling Sorry for Celia, by Jaclyn Moriarty, but the idea to do a fanfic in this format is from Jaffacake1, who is a fantastic writer, and deserves all the credit for my inspiration.

Phone Memo #1

For: Rogue

From: Kitty and Jubilee/Katherine and Jubilation/
Mrs. Orlando Bloom and Madam McGreggor
(there was some confusion over the callers identity)

Time: 9:15

Message: Wanted to ensure patient was not dead and/or dying, that she was getting plenty of rest and that "Stupid expletive expletive evil minion expletive" was not "expletive trying anything and/or "being even more of an expletive than he already is." (Caller number one seemed particularly agitated with so-called expletive.) Callers wish to inform patient that: "Blankity Blank is back and that even though he has history with blankity, they are sure that she will be fine. And also that he was being made a blankity, if you can believe that!"

Phone Memo #2

For: (continued phone memo #1)

From _

Time_

Memo: Callers realized that patient would not understand such a cryptic message and promised to send patient a letter/fax that would explain more. Also, callers send regards (as phone operator assumes "Give a shout out to my bro" is meant to mean this) to a person referred to as "Psych" (?) and that "Jubes is missing her homeboy." (phone operator was unsure if this was meant as a joke or not)

Rogue,

Okay. Wake up, slowly. Now, before you panic and wonder where you are and what you are doing there, slowly think back to the events of yesterday. Slowly now, you don't want to overwhelm yourself.

That's right. Remember the jet ride and the apartment and the stare-down with Scott. Remember the smell of lighter fluid and the cab ride to the hospital.

That's right Rogue. You're in the hospital. Calm down, you are perfectly all right (at least you will be). Scott is in that corner over there, and that's John in the bed next to you. Logan is the one leaning against the doorway watching you wake up-

Wait, Logan? We must check our files. We'll get back to you.

Frantically,

The Everything Is All Right and Perfectly Normal Support Group

To: Operative:

You never saw this letter and it never saw you. You've never heard, seen, or been aware of us before (No, seriously. We can tell by the bewildered look on your face that you really haven't).

We would like to offer you a conditional membership in our Association.

Apparently, a mysterious stranger (Okay, a man whom you are clearly familiar with, but mysterious, nonetheless) has appeared in your hospital room without explanation.

There is obviously something Secret and Mysterious going on here. And athough our name may suggest otherwise, that is exactly what we are in the business of. Mysterious men who mysteriously appear are the stories that make up our (non-existent) history. They create the shadows that follow you home at night, make the noises that cause your spine to tingle when you are without companionship. They put the fog under street lamps and blow your doors closed on windless days. In other words, Rogue, Mysterious Men are where it's at!

So you cannot blame us for being intrigued. We await your response Single-Eyebrow- Raisedly,

The Secret and Mysterious Association
Of All That is Secret and Mysterious

Rouge,

That whole Logan showing up out of nowhere thing? We can explain that. It's because Cyke can't stand being around you any longer and called Logan to come look after you.

He had to bribe him to come, because he can't stand being around you either.

THE COLD HARD TRUTH ASSOCIATION

Rogue,

And another thing.

We can't stand being around you either.
You are a waste of space on our mailing list.
We wish you'd never been born.

THE COLD HARD TRUTH ASSOCIATION

Dear Rogue,

HA. Mystery solved.

Logan didn't come to deliver a top secret message. He didn't drop in to see if you wanted to join him on a Secret Mission.

He just flew in to see if Scott needed any help.

Conditional offer unconditionally withdrawn.

Don't expect to hear from US again.

The Secret and Mysterious Association
of All that is Secret and Mysterious

Dear Rogue,

Still.

He flew all the way to Boston.

We await further developments with interest.

Sincerely,

The Young Romance Association

Dear Rogue,

So, here's what we know.

He flew the red eye to get to Boston.

So he cares.

He hates flying with a burning passion, and isn't too much more fond of John.

So he came for you.

You and John are basically incapacitated, and Scott doesn't seem to need any help.

And Logan is probably the last person he'd ask if he did.

They keep on talking in whispers, surreptitiously glancing over at you every once in a while.

So why is he here? Figure it out.

Yours in anticipation,

Society of Amateur Detectives

ROGUE! LOOK AT THIS LETTER! SLIDING OUT OF THE FAX MACHINE, INTO THE NURSES HANDS (this letter is for Marie D'Ancanto, btw, please ensure that it reaches her safely and without interception), COMING DOWN THE HALL, AND INTO YOUR ROOM!

Hello. It is us, your best friends (KITTY AND JUBILEE, IN CASE YOU FORGOT)

We wanted to make sure that you are okay. The nurse told us a lot of times this morning that you were, but…

WE WANTED TO BE SURE

Ya.

YOU HAD US SO WORRIED. WE THOUGHT YOU…

Well, I don't know what I thought, but Jubilee…

I THOUGHT YOU WENT CRAZY ROGUE.

Well, yeah. And no one would tell us anything, other than that you were safe.

YEAH. AND WHAT DOES SAFE MEAN, ANYWAY? "SAFE" IN A MENTAL INSTITUTION? "SAFE" DEAD IN AN ALLEY?

But then I found out you were in Boston…

YA, KIT USED HER SUPER STEALTH EAVESDROPPING SKILLS TO LISTEN TO THE PROFESSOR AND ORORO.

…with John! And Scott and Logan! And they said you were sick!

DROP KICK JOHN FOR ME ROGUE, OKAY?

Anyways, we're all really worried.

ESPECIALLY BOBBY-WAIT, AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO BRING HIM U-?

We haven't told him any of this.

OUT OF LOYALTY TO YOU, YOU KNOW?

But I kinda feel like we should, just because, well…

HE'S REALLY WORRIED. OH, BUT GUESS WHO'S BACK?

Jubilee, don't tell her.

PETER! PETEY-PETE! AND GUESS WHO THE FIRST PERSON HE WANTED TO SEE WAS?

I'm going down to dinner.

I KNOW, RIGHT? LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GOING TO GET SOME GOOD DRAMA GOING ON AROUND HERE TOO.

Anyway, we love you and we hope you get better.

Kitty and Jubilee

Rogue,

Okay, I had to send you this letter separately, because Jubilee is not letting me hear the end of it. Seriously. Even when she's not around I swear she's got little minions who follow me around and whisper in my ear "Kitty and Peter, sitting in a tree…"

But really, I'm fine. I know that you probably won't believe me, but I don't want you worrying, okay? I need you to get better. And you've been taking on so much lately…I feel bad because you've been here for me and I have a feeling I haven't been there for you, or else I would have seen this coming.

I just have to say one thing though, okay? It's about Bobby. I know I'm supposed to tell you he's a bastard and screw him and all men and if he can't see how great you are he doesn't deserve you and all that. But it's not true. Because he does see how great you are. I can see it in his eyes every time he asks about you (the fact that he's been moping around the mansion ever since you broke up kinda makes it obvious too).

I guess what I really want to say is this, (and if there's one thing, in all of our years of friendship, I want you to believe, let it be this thing): He did not break up with you because he doesn't care about you. He did it because he does.

I really hope I don't have to explain that to you.

I know you, and I know that chances are you aren't going to believe me. I'm pretty sure that you've already decided that you've been dumped and why, but you're wrong. Just…please. Think about that.

I love you. I want you to get better. Please?

Love and Marshmallow Fruit Loops,

Kitty

ROGUE,

I'm worried about Kitty. She keeps on walking around and saying she's okay ("That's great," I tell her. "I didn't ask."), but she so is not.

Neither is Andrew. He keeps on looking back and forth between Pete and Kitty at dinner, certain there's a reason for the awkward silence, but too nice (or maybe too scared) to ask. He likes her so much. This could not have come at a worse time.

There's something else we didn't tell you. It's about Pete. The reason he's back, actually. Remember right after the attack on the mansion, when he found out that his sister was sick? He went back to Russia to help out his family and be there for his sister, but it turned out she was REALLY sick. Like, more sick than anyone could have thought, because she died. And apparently Pete took it really hard. They were really close, you know? And his family was having a hard enough time as it was, trying to make ends meet and stuff. They basically spent everything they had on medical expenses.

And now Pete's back. As an X-Man. Apparently Prof X offered him a place on the team, and he took it. He's sending all of his pay checks back to his family and the Professor told him that he can continue classes if he wants, or enrol in college classes. Basically, he can do whatever he wants as long as he helps fend off a bad guy every once in a while.

I feel really bad for him, I do. I mean, with his sister dying and his family in trouble, and on top of that coming back and finding everything so different…

He didn't even know about John leaving, or Jean dying. At the same time, I think that he's being really unfair to Kitty.

Yeah, they have all this history.

And yeah, he was like the love of her life, and she was his.

And I don't blame him for not putting romance at the top of his list of priorities when he left.

But he barely even wrote to her, let alone calle!. And now he wants to come back and have everything exactly the way it was? I don't think so.

So I'm worried. About both of them. But mostly about Kitty…she was so hurt when he left, remember? I just don't want her to have to go through anything like that again.

Anyways, the point of this letter is too inform you that I am doing enough worrying for the both of us, so concentrate on getting better, okay? Don't forget what I said about the drop kicking (but only if you're up to it).

Love and Strawberry Ringpops,

Jubilee

Dear Keltie,

WOW…so very, very little has happened since my last letter. I was in the hospital right? Last letter? Well, surprise, surprise, I'm still here.

And I am BORED. OUT OF MY MIND.

I feel like I've been in this hospital forever. I don't remember a time when I wasn't in this hospital.

Scott's reminding me that I've only been here a day and a half. Whatever. There's no way it's only been that long. I've been here a week, at LEAST.

I guess I can't say that nothings happened, but compared to that first night, it seems insignificant.

As it turns out, John and I are both really sick. The preliminary diagnosis is tonsillitis for me, and pneumonia for John, as well as severe dehydration and malnutrition. They're running more tests though, to rule out anything more serious. I don't know what he could have possibly been doing that didn't allow him to get water or some OJ, but I'm not about to ask.

Scott's been running around like a madman talking to the doctors, calling the school to make sure someone can take care of his classes for the next few days, and updating the Professor on our conditions, not to mention fetching an endless supply of food, books, water, etc. Basically he's responding to our (well, my) every beck and call.

Logan loves this, of course (did I mention that he showed up? I don't think I did. He walked in this morning looking exhausted and worried), and when he's not dozing in the chair next to my bed, he's chuckling at some of the outrageous things that John and I (okay, mostly I) dream up for Scott to do, and refuses even the simplest of my demands. Even when I ask him to take his feet of my bed so that the nurse doesn't yell at us again, he glares at me.

To be honest, it's nice having him here, although I'm not sure why (he's still here, I mean.) He wasn't very clear about why he showed up in the first place.

I still haven't said a word to John. Once, when Logan managed to convince the nurse that it was Scott, and not him, who got dirt all over my sheets, I caught him giving Logan an admiring smirk. Which quickly dissolved into a fit of coughing.

I think Scott and Logan can sense the tension between us, because so far they haven't left us alone in the room together, which I'm (mostly) grateful for.

I kind of wouldn't mind just letting him have it though. I'm pretty sure in the state he's in he couldn't hurt me. Actually, I'm still pretty amused every time he starts coughing sparks. He set the pillowcase on fire this morning.

It's a mark of how bored I am that I managed to write even this much based on the events of the last few weeks (okay, I guess it might be days).

If you can, please try to write to me. I'm soooo bored, and I need to know what's going on with you.

Love,

Rogue

To Keltie. (Letter # 2)

Well, that was interesting.

Logan only left the room for one minute, to go get me a Fresca…

He glared at both of us before he got up, as if he was assessing whether or not we could be trusted on our own. I guess we didn't look too threatening, both of us pretty sick (and looking it) by this point. John was lying back against his pillows with his eyes closed, his face pale and about a million blankets on top of him because he still couldn't stop shivering; my hair was stuck to my face, my eyes were watering, and there was a layer of snotty Kleenex's covering my bed.

I didn't even think John had noticed Logan leaving, but as soon as his footsteps were no longer audible, he cracked one eye open and looked at me. I pretended not to notice, being far too interested in the magazine Scott had picked up for me at the gift shop.

"Did you get my e-mail?"

Again, I was shocked at how raspy his voice sounded. I had a small inner battle with myself over whether or not to respond. Finally, I smiled sweetly at him and said "What e-mail?"

He wasn't buying it. "Why did you come?"

I laughed, closing my magazine and turning to look at him.

"Don't kid yourself," I said spitefully. I'm not exaggerating when I say that there was so much hostility in that sentence, it was like all of my resentment had poured into those three words.

He looked at me blankly. It was infuriating.

"Don't think for one second that I came here by choice…" Venom spilled out of the last word, and I practically spit out the next bit: "…or because I felt SORRY for you. I despise you John. Everything you've done…every…every person you have hurt in your twisted little hunt for acceptance …I am never going to forgive you for that, so don't even try."

My accent had almost completely dissipated by the end of my outburst, that's how angry I was. I had to stop, partly to catch my breath and partly because my throat was burning, otherwise I probably could have gone on.

There was silence for a few seconds and I started to feel victorious. I've never been able to shut John up before. He always has to have the last word.

And then he said the one thing (probably the only thing) that could make me lose it (more than I already had, I mean).

"How's Bobby?"

"Aurrgghh!" I screamed in frustration, and picked up a water glass beside my bed to hurl at him, but something stopped me. Not, like, a sudden burst of pity or self restraint, but physically grabbed both my arms and said "Okay kid, that's enough."

I glared at John as I let Logan take the glass out of my hands and put it back on the table. I continued to glare at him as Logan led me outside the hospital room, still holding both my arms as though he didn't trust me not to attack.

To be honest, I didn't trust me either.

I couldn't read the expression of John's face, but I know what mine said. All I could feel was burning hatred.

Logan sat me down in one of the chairs across the hall, and stood in front of me, arms crossed and eyes narrowed, a mirror image of my own position. I noticed that he looked a lot shorter when he stood like that. He took a deep breath, and then…

Nothing. He looked confused for a second, as though he had expected inspiration to strike and it hadn't. I chanced a glance up at him, and he sighed and sat down next to me.

"He started it," I muttered after a moment of silence. He snorted at this, but didn't say anything. He stood up when he saw Scott coming down the hall. I guess from the look on Logan's face it was obvious that something was wrong, because the first thing Scott asked was "What happened?"

Logan looked at me. "I left them for two seconds—"

"It's not my fault!" I insisted. "He provoked me!"

"John did?" Scott said slowly, looking to Logan for confirmation.

"Yeah. He…he…" Thinking about it, saying "He asked me a question!" didn't sound like the best defence at the moment. Neither did telling Scott about the e-mail I probably should have told him about a long time ago.

"I heard her yelling from down the hall."

"I wasn't yelling."

"You were yelling."

"Okay, so they were yelling at each other," Scott said tiredly. I felt really bad for him at this point. He sounded really stressed out. "What happened next?"

"I don't know about him..."(I was slightly comforted to hear the hint of a sneer in Logan's voice. "...but when I came into the room, she was hurling things at him."

"What? Rogue, is that true?"

But I'd stopped listening.

"I grabbed her by the arms and pulled her out of the room…"

Logan's voice sounded funny.

"Rogue, what's gotten into you? What could he possibly say that would make you…"

Scott kept on talking, and I could feel Logan staring at me, but all I could do was stare at my arms. My bare arms.

"Rogue. Rogue, I'm asking you…"

I looked up to meet Logan's eyes, which looked just as shocked as I'm sure mine did. He looked at his hands for a second, and Scott looked from me to him as though we had both gone insane.

And then I fainted.