What's wrong? Are you okay?

-K&J

To Kubilee and Jitty

I'm fine, I just feel a little nauseous. It must have been the turbulence on the plane. I'll be out in a minute.

-Rogue.

Rogue,

Are you sure? Did it have anything to do with the letter you just read?

-K&J

Guys,

No.

-Rogue

Rogue,

You're such a bad liar. We found it under your mattress. Don't worry, we'd feel like throwing up after reading that too. You can come out if you want now.

-K&J

Bobby,

Actually...I don't think I can go to the movies tonight. Kitty is upset about something, and I think it's my duty as her friend to stay here with her.

Maybe next week?

-Rogue

Rogue,

Sure, next week is fine. I just passed Kitty in the hall, though, and she looked fine. I asked her what was wrong and she gave me a funny look. Then she told me that her hair had been acting weird lately, and what did I think she should do about it, get a hair cut or use more conditioner?

Are you sure she's really that upset?

-Bobby

A LETTER FROM A STRANGER

Rogue,

Emma gave me your letter when I got home from a party on Saturday. She had to go to school over the weekend for some reason that is unbeknownst to me, and picked it up. I had to wait to read it though, because my aunt wanted to take me out for brunch on Sunday morning. She does this every once in a while, convinced I need a female role model in my life. Because my Mom's gone, you see? She's worried I may slide into the sinister world of girls who don't know how to use lipliner (the horror!). So we go out somewhere fancy and I pick at my food and she tries to teach me things that she's deemed essential knowledge for female existence. (i.e: You are never ever supposed to wear reinforced toe pantyhose with open toed shoes, did you know that?). As though I really care. I told her I didn't really wear pantyhose and the only open toe shoes I wear are flip-flops in the summer. She looked disappointed, so I tried to give her some advice, like how you can substitute pencil crayons for eyeliner by soaking them in water. I don't think she was very impressed.

Hold on a minute and I'll look at your letter again.

You are very right about the thing with He-Who-Is-Sitting-Next-To-Me-In-Chem-Class, but I think I'm too chicken to ever do anything about it.

And I can't tell Leah. Reason the First: It would get weird. You can't understand how close the three of us are. We've been friends since forever, even though we are definitely very different. Like, Leah really should be one of those prissy private school girls because her Dad is super rich and she lives on one of those mansions up the hill. But her Mom is on the schoolboard, so she goes to public school with us. That means that her prissy girl education was nipped in the bud fairly early, thank God. And Ben...well, he's just Ben. He is very focused on sports and has loads of guy friends but when he's with us he's sweet and fun and sometimes I feel like we're still in primary school when it's just the three of us, you know? I know basically everything about them and they know everything about me, except for like, specific boy-girl stuff that we haven't quite figured out yet. For example, I know that Ben has extremely hairy legs and that his voice started getting lower when we were in the ninth grade BUT I don't know if he feels weird about changing in the boys locker room or exactly what they talk about in there, because refuses to tell us.

Reason the Second: She kisses Ben. In our school play.

Yeah, so you can see how awkward that could get for her. They have to do this big scene, where he grabs her and kisses her. I think this is completely unnecessary for the plot, but apparently when you tell drama teachers things like this, they have a tendency to ask you where you got your degree in theatre. And when you tell them they must be completely deranged, because clearly you are still in high school, how could you have a degree in theatre? they have a tendency to demote you from your tiny walk-on role (that you only auditioned for to spend time with your two best friends) to a lowly stage hand who's sole job it is to feed people their lines when they've forgotten them. Touchy much?

(Actually, since I've now seen this play a bazzilion times, I kind of get her point. Watching pimply teenagers completely destroy a semi-decent (if gratuitous) play would make me hate myself for never following my dreams to Broadway, too.)

It's awful.

I don't want to talk about them anymore, so back to what you said.

It's so cool that you can just take off and get on a plane with your teachers. Especially in the middle of the week. I wish I could do that, instead of sitting here in class learning about moles. Why are we learning about moles, anyway? This is Chemistry, not Zoology. Ha, isn't it funny how there are only two O's, even though technically, there should be three? Zoo-ology. Zooology.

Back on topic. Yeah, that blizzard has turned into freezing rain, and yesterday when I walked to the bus, I saw about 12 people slip in the space of about 2 minutes. And I've seen at least four people on crutches today.

Hang on a minute and I'll ask my Chem teacher why they still haven't put any salt on the front walk yet.

Okay, he got very angry and said that my question didn't have anything to do with moles or Nitrogen (why are they together? Isn't nitrogen dangerous? Are they trying to KILL the moles?), and that if I wanted my question answered, I should go to the principals office.

So that's where I am, right now. I know it's immature, but, despite my momentary sympathy for our drama teacher, I'm kind of tired of adults acting like every question out of my mouth is a challenge. Like MAYBE I just want to know why the sidewalk isn't salted so I can concentrate on the moles and their nitrogen, instead of how I will walk from the door to the bus without killing myself! OR any moles that are lurking about!

Plus, I got out of Chem class.

Okay, the secretary told me I could go in now, so I guess I'll end this letter here. I don't find your letters boring at all, please, keep writing them, they keep me awake in history class.

-Keltie

P.S: Thank God it's Friday, huh?

P.P.S: Only 22 more days till Christmas, and ten days of school left.

Scott,

I noticed our supply of bread sticks is running low.

No pressure though.

-Rogue

Hey Kiddo,

Saturday 9:15. Meet me in the front hall.

-Scott

Scotto,

Thank you thank you thank you and sorry about the Scotto.

-Rogue

Ms. D'Ancanto,

We are writing to advise you of our interest in having you as one of our future members. Your recent display at the Salem Center IGA demonstrated to us that someday soon you will be ready to join our ranks. The way you maneuvered that shopping cart around those tight corners, around wailing children, completely bypassing that display of spilled fruit! Astounding! The way you selected those grapefruit, not simply by sight, Rogue, but by firmness and scent as well! Incredible! The way you politely but firmly told the bag boy that you wanted paper, not plastic! It sent shivers down our hypothetic spines, Ms. D'Ancanto, and I think I speak for all of us when I say we are waiting in eager anticipation for your next domestic project.

With our kindest best wishes,

Housewives of the World, United

Dear Jean,

I just have to say that I feel incredibly stupid writing this, but I have to talk to someone, and the Professor told the younger kids that this might be a good way for them to deal with their grief. I feel like I've been writing so many letters lately that this seems better than praying, like Kurt, or running Danger Room sequences, like Logan, or assigning cruel and sadistic assignments, like Ororo (okay, that one was a joke).

I went shopping with Scott yesterday for the first time since Alkali Lake. I walked down the stairs to the main hall in the morning, and there he was, standing there, just like always. "What took you so long?" was the first thing he said, and I explained to him that Jubilee had discovered Kitty's stash of leftover Halloween candy.

You know as well as anyone that that statement is self-explanatory.

I was so happy that he was willing to start our weekly ritual again that when we got to the grocery store, I just walked with him for a while, occasionally throwing stuff into the cart.

That was a game we always played, remember? I would put in something stupid, like gardening gloves, or hamster food, and he would pretend not to notice. Then when we reached the checkout, he would pick everything out and make me put it all back. When I returned, he would hand me a chocolate bar or magazine or something that he'd picked up without me noticing.

I really missed those Saturdays. I think he did too, because when I tossed in a giant tub of icing, he laughed. I haven't heard him laugh since before Alkali Lake.

I miss you Jean. I miss the times you would come with us, and you and I would go and get the "girl stuff" together, and then we would all go out for lunch.

It's so weird writing you a letter and knowing I wont be able to slide it under your door.

-Rogue

Congratulations, Rogue. You've managed to disappoint even our lowest expectations. Let's review shall we? As a teenager, you should be:

-attending out-of-control Christmas parties
-coming home after curfew
-sleeping in past noon

Instead, on Friday night, you:

-wrote a letter to your dead teacher
-went to bed at 10:30
-woke up at 8 to go grocery shopping with your teacher.

We're getting a little tired of this whole "role-model-for-the-young'uns" act. You, a model? Please.

The Association of Teenagers

Rogue,

We have some major stuff to tell you.

Kitty is in looooooveeeee!

With Andrew!

I know, we all suspected it, right? But now she's confirmed it...he asked her out for Friday night! And you thought she'd NEVER get over Petey!

We figured it out (Me and Bobby: Super Sleuths!) when we caught her drooling into her mashed potatoes at dinner (which you missed) and then we cornered her afterwards. I mean, how good are we?

Quite, I think.

We hope you feel better.

Jubilee & Bobby

AKA: Nancy Drew and that guy Nancy Drew always hangs out with!

Rogue,

This is astounding work, absolutely astounding!. We are so pleased at the example you're setting for some of our less, shall we say...enthusiastic members.

No, no, don't get off the couch and do your math homework! Scott always writes the answers to the hard ones on the board anyway! Don't start that essay for Law and Government-it's not due until Tuesday! Don't start reading ahead in English! It's such a boring book, and Jubes already has the SparksNotes! So grab a Coke from the kitchen, sit back, and relax, Rogue. You have absolutely no homework today.

Proudly,

The Association of People Who are Going To Fail High School (and most likely life as well)

Rogue!

17 days till Christmas! What should we get Kitty for Hanukkah?

-Jubes

Jubilee,

Cd's? Books? Andrew? :)

-Rogue.

Keltie,

What happened in the principals office? I hope they do salt the walk in front of your school. There's a boy here who—

Rogue,

Are you completely devoid of human emotion? Or are you just deaf? Or blind? Or both? Did you even notice that your BEST FRIEND (Kitty, or do we have to remind you?) just ran from the room crying, or are you too involved in that letter to a stranger to care?

Fix this situation now, or your membership in this society will be in serious jeopardy.

Disappointedly,

The Best Friends Club

KITTY! LOOK AT THIS NOTE! SLIDING UNDER THE DOOR!

I know you're there, I can hear you crying. What just happened? Me n' Jubes are so confused.

YEAH, KITTY, WHAT HAPPENED? I'LL ADMIT SCOTT'S SPEECH ON QUADRATICS WAS BORING ME TO TEARS, BUT KITTY, YOU LIKE QUADRATICS-

Stop stealing the pen away from me Jubilee!

From your concerned friends,

Jubilee and Rogue

Keltie,

Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner, things have been incredibly hectic around here. It feels like everything is happening at once.

My friend Kitty got asked out my this guy Andrew in our class. Andrew is a sweetheart..goofy and adorable. But today in math class she ran out of the room sobbing, and she won't tell us why. She's just sitting on her bed right now, watching music videos and not talking to us.

Plus, that guy John, the one I told you about in my letter, the one who Sean reminded me off, wrote me this e-mail when I got back from Chicago, and it made me so mad.

I don't know how I can really explain to you what happened with John. I'm not even sure what happened myself, to be honest, and I considered the guy one of my best friends. I guess the simplest way to put it is that he went off and became an evil minion to one of those mutant terrorist groups you mentioned in your second letter. Please don't think that reflects AT ALL on what the Professor teaches us here. It doesn't. John was just a huge ego-maniac and now his recklessness is biting him in the ass, it sounds like.

The thing is, I'm not really sure if I should tell Bobby about it. Bobby is my boyfriend, have I mentioned that? Bobby and John were pretty close. When I came along, I think I messed up their dynamic a bit...although, I'm not sure either of them minded. Anyway, Bobby's been pretty down since John left. I think he feels like he could have stopped it, if he'd payed more attention to John. Plus, he misses his friend. I have a feeling if I tell him about the e-mail, he'll tell the Professor and then they'll try to organize some kind of big rescue mission to retrieve John, and despite the tone of his letter, I'm certain that would be a mistake. John is just looking for attention, he always was.

Anyway, I talk to much about myself. Back to your problems.

Leah and Ben have to kiss? God, that must be killing you. I'm so sorry you have to through that. In fact, I'm sending you this bracelet I found when I was shopping for Christmas presents. I thought the little charms were adorable, and they kind of apply to your situation, don't you think?

I probably shouldn't say this, but you're kind of lucky that your aunt cares enough to try and teach you things like that. I didn't know that thing about the pantyhose. Do you think everyone around me has noticed and are all laughing at my horrible faux pas? I think they have. :) But, honestly, I thought your tip about the pencil crayons was much more applicable to my everyday life. I told Jubilee about it and she got pretty excited, bouncing out of the room to go raid the Art cupboard. Your aunt should have appreciated that more.

I have to go eat dinner now, as Sean and Andrew are banging on our door and singing a very inappropriate song to get us to come out. Looks like Sean is coming out of his shell now that he's met his match in Andrew.

Hugs, and things that are cute and sparkly,

Rogue.

P.S. It's after dinner and I don't feel so great. Do you happen to know if you can get food poisoning from spaghetti?

Rogue,

Look over here! On the doorknob!

Jubilee, Siryn and I are thinking about having girls night tomorrow, to celebrate Christmas Break...you know, face masks, nail polish, Christmas movies, candy canes, the whole shebang (stop laughing Jubilee...it's not that funny of a word!).

Whadda ya say?

Kitty (and Jubilee)

Hey beautiful,

Foozball, tomorrow night, you and me?

Love ya,

Bobby

Rogue,

The Professor and I are free tomorrow night if you want to come down to the med-lab. We think you're making some real progress.

Hank

Rogue,

You've already told your friends that you can't hang out with them tomorrow, right? Because you're going down to the med-lab?

Of course you haven't! How silly of us! We see why trying to get rid of those disgusting blackheads on your nose takes priority over TRYING TO CONTROL YOUR MUTATION. And we agree-social interaction really does make up for a TOTAL LACK OF PHYSICAL CONTACT!

Just remember, Rogue, that while someone MIGHT get close enough to see those blackheads, and while it might be fun to snuggle up with Bobby after a nice game of foozball, THAT'S AS CLOSE AS YOU'LL GET. And seeing how the Professor and Hank are the only ones with a chance of helping you (since you're so resistant to helping yourself) maybe you should just save everyone the trouble and follow the advice of The Association of Teenagers.

Forget the greenhouses, Rogue. We suggest you take the socks out of your drawer and climb in there yourself.

The Manager,

The Society Of Mutants that Can't Control Their Mutations, (But Could If They Just Tried)

Rogue,

You think you're so popular, don't you Rogue? Receiving notes from all these people, just dying to spend their free time with you?

We don't think so.

Kitty and Jubilee only invited you because they can't exactly have a girls night in your room without inviting you, can they?

Bobby only wants to play foozball with you because John isn't here and he has no one else to play with.

The Professor and Hank think you're a waste of space and only waste their time helping you because you're a fantastic example of evolution gone wrong.

Pull down the blinds, Rogue, shut the door, and cry into your pillow. No one's listening. No one cares.

THE COLD HARD TRUTH ASSOCIATION

Dear Rogue,

Only a true teenager would be able to keep Bobby Drake wrapped around their finger.

A true teenager would have graciously accepted Bobby's invitation to play foozball with him, instead of getting Kitty to pass him a note during Math class.

A true teenager would not have skipped out on spending time with her boyfriend to hang out in the med-lab while teachers ran a multitude of tests on her (And instead of getting sulky and mad when Bobby asked Stephanie to play fooz-ball with him, a true teenager would have laughed wittily at something that Andrew had said).

And finally, a true teenager would have thought to bring extra clothes when she went down to the med-lab so that the next time she saw Bobby, Peter, and Sean in the rec room, she would not be wearing a ratty gym shirt and sweat pants.

You seem to have trouble following our earlier suggestions. We now suggest that you take the socks out of your drawers and climb in there yourself.

Yours sincerely

The Association of Teenagers

Rogue,

DO NOT get your hopes up. This is NOT an invitation to join our society. Not that we think you're horribly disfigured or anything, but you've got to be kidding. Ever seen your hair, Rogue? Ever seen those bags under your eyes in the morning?

Anyway, we're sure you don't need to be told that twice.

We hear that you have been receiving letters from the Cold Hard Truth Association and the Association of Teenagers? We just wanted add our wholehearted support to their sentiments regarding your (ahem) boyfriend, Bobby

There are certain kinds of people in this world, Rogue. Beautiful people, Average people, and people so Unfortunate that we pretend they don't exist. It is perfectly okay for an Average girl to date an Average boy, Rogue. Sometimes, an Average girl may even date an Unfortunate boy, depending how desperate she gets. Sometimes it is even okay for a Beautiful boy to date an Average girl, if she is quirky and charming and can teach the boy about the wonders of life or indie rock music (See, for example: Garden State, Elizabethtown, any movie staring Zooey Deschenal).

Bobby is a Beautiful boy. You, Rogue, are on the South side of Average, nearing the Edge of Unfortunate. You are neither quirky nor charming, and your taste in music leaves everything to be desired. This makes your relationship with Bobby completely inappropriate, and if we're completely honest, baffling.

Be careful Rogue, be very, very careful, or Bobby will ditch you for someone more appropriate. Like Kitty, or one of those Victoria's Secret catalogue models that you always find lying around near the boy's room (the catalogues, not the models).

With very kindest wishes,

The Society of Beautiful People (SOB. P)

Rogue,

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MISSED SEEING PATRICK SWAYZE WITH HIS SHIRT OFF!

You missed a really good time tonight. Although it's nice that you could come up for the end of "Elf".

The thing is, I can understand why you ditched us to hang out with Hank and the Prof, and I can understand why you didn't bother brushing your hair after running those tests, and I can understand why you pretended you were more focused on eating your candy cane than watching Andrew's lame impression of a reindeer.

What I don't understand is why you even bother pretending to get mad when Bobby hangs out with other girls.

Jubilee.

Jubilee,

I don't know what you're talking about. I'm going swimming, I'll see you in the morning.

-Rogue.