It's proving a little more difficult to be a superhero than you thought, isn't it? Having needles stuck in you all day, being poked and prodded and twisted until your body is numb from it all? "Where's the key to the city?" you ask. "Where's the wise-cracking sidekick?" And "When oh when can I get out of this bed?"

Do you think Batman whined when he had to save Gotham? Do you think Spiderman pouted when he got bitten by that radioactive spider? Do you think Wonder Woman spent forty-five minutes blowing the white stands in her hair off her face over and over and over again? We think not.

That's why you're not cut out for this, Rogue. You may as well give up now, before you seriously annoy someone. Like you're annoying us right now.

Sincerely,

The Association of People Who Can't Be Superheroes (But Could If They Just Tried)

Dear Kitty and Jubilee,

You guys haven't written back in while. What's going on?

I've just spent the whole day being examined by doctors and specialists and geneticists from all over the world. I feel like I have no blood left in my body. Although I guess I should be grateful that these doctors can actually touch me. Remember that time I cut my hand open in the danger room, and Hank had such a hard time stitching it up without losing his life force? Yeah.

I had to run on a treadmill today. You know how much I hate treadmills. I'm always imagining myself as a cartoon character, and fear that I'll get either hurled across the room, or sucked into the track. I'd spend eternity going round and round and round...

Write me back. I'm bored.

Rogue

Dear Rogue,

We don't even know what to say about this new information.

Only nerds want to be superheroes. That's what superheroes are for, after all. To make nerdy little kids feel like they too can contribute to the world.

Well, guess what, Rogue? They can't.

Real teenagers don't need to fantasize about being superheroes because their lives are interesting enough. Clearly, yours is not.

What are you doing, anyway? You sit in bed all day and occasionally hang out with stuffy doctors. You're really living it up, Rogue. Have a hissy fit or something. Then at least we'd be entertained.

Monotonously yours,

The Association of Teenagers

SCOTT! LOOK AT THIS NOTE! BEING HANDED TO YOU BY THE NURSE!

Scott,

I'm bored. Shocker, I know. Would I possibly be allowed to visit a library? Don't want to fall behind on my schoolwork, you know.

Rogue

ROGUE! LOOK AT THIS NOTE! BEING HANDED TO YOU BY ME!

I think leaving the hospital again is pushing it. We'll get you hooked up with an online library catalogue and I'll send someone to go pick up books for you. I know you're not really worried about your schoolwork, seeing how the term has just begun and you don't even know which classes you're taking...what are you really interested in?

-Scott

P.S. I know you're excited by those coloured pens Logan bought you at the Market, but there's something called the Joy of the Spoken Word, you know?

SCOTT! THESE PENS ARE WAY COOLER THAN ANYTHING THAT COULD COME OUT OF MY MOUTH!

Heh, heh. That's what she said.

Sorry.

Besides, I don't think Ororo would appreciate your disparaging remarks about her creative and effective teaching methods.

Ok, you caught me. I want books on mutants, mutations, anything you can find. Knowledge is power, right?

How is your hotel? Are you and Logan sleeping all right? I feel so bad that you guys are stuck here with me. Why don't you hit up a bar, or a strip club, or a bingo hall or something?

-Rogue

Rogue,

We're sleeping just fine. Stop worrying. However, I did want to let you know I'm going back home tomorrow. Classes need to continue and you two don't need the four of us hovering around you constantly. Hank is going to continue working with the doctors here. I'll make sure you get those books, though. And maybe-just MAYBE-we can arrange for you to go swimming. I know you miss it.

-Scott

SCOTT! THANK YOU!

Oh, that is so exciting! But I am going to need a new bathing suit. So maybe you should arrange a trip to the mall, as well?

When can we go home?

-Rogue

Rogue,

Don't push it.

-Scott

SCOTT! LOOK AT THIS NOTE! BOUNCING OFF YOUR HEAD!

Scott, we know you can see this. You didn't answer Ro.D's question. When can we go home? What did the Professor say? Why can't Hank treat us at the mansion?

-Ro.D and J-Dawg

Hear that, Rogue?

Scott and Logan are leaving. Clearly they are tired of your face, not to mention your endless whining, childish antics and vacant expressions.

Logan can't wait to get away from you. He wants to get back to Important Missions and real women who don't constantly trip over their words and get flustered when they accidently walk in on him with his shirt off (real smooth, by the way). He's already given you up for dead.

Scott's just glad to have something to do other than pretending to be concerned about your well being.

How long before Hank and Moira give up as well?

Yours truly,

THE COLD HARD TRUTH ASSOCIATION

Rogue,

We are very disappointed by the lack of activity on your end. Breaking up with your boyfriend, while devastating, at least had the potential for some remorseful and anguished pleas for forgiveness. As of the time of writing, Mr. Drake is still nowhere to be seen.

And then, disappearing into the night: It seemed like the perfect setting for some unexpected but passionate romance. Still, nothing.

Mr. Allardyce has thus far been placed firmly in our platonic relationships file, although we strongly believe that this has more to do with your obvious deficiency in the flirting department rather than lack of interest (don't even pretend you don't know what's under that standard-issue hospital gown!).

And your mysterious man has become decidedly un-mysterious and not the least bit interested in you.

All this, despite the fact that you suddenly have regained the ability to touch, and therefore, are no longer hindered in your ability to "get your rocks off", as your friend "Jubes" would say.

It's not us, Rogue. It's you. We can't be doing all the work here. Please step it up a notch.

The Young Romance Association

Boston Center City Library
117 Washington Road
Boston, Massachusetts
45901

Items Checked Out: 5

Item:

Human Right vs. Mutant Rights?: The Case Against Experimentation on Mutants
Guthrie, M
Due: 02/14/11

Destination Unknown: The Future of Evolutionary Research
MacTaggert, M
Due: 02/14/11

Mutant Manifestation and Powers
Day, S
Due: 02/14/11

Mutants: A History
Kennedy, M.
Due: 02/14/11

He's Just Not That Into Your Ability to Breathe Fire: Navigating the Evolutionary Minefield that is Dating in the 21st Century
Behrenat, G.
Due: 02/14/11

Rogue,

Falling, falling, falling...

This time no one is there to catch you. No one even notices you're gone.

Falling, falling, falling...

Those trees are getting awfully close.

Falling, falling, falling...

SPLAT.

Nasty, Nerve-racking Nightmares, Associated.

LOGAN! LOOK AT THIS NOTE! BEING HANDED TO YOU BY SCOTT!

Hi.

Did you get the note?

I just wanted to say, before you leave, how much I appreciate you coming all the way out here to see me help me vacation? help Scott.

And...that's pretty much all I have to say.

-Rogue

Rogue,

I'm not going anywhere.

-Logan

Rogue,

Ohh, did your legs just turn to jelly? Did your stomach leap into your throat? Did your heart start hurling against your chest in a desperate escape attempt? Is your mind running a million miles a minute?

Maybe it's time to see a doctor.

The Young Romance Association

Rouge,

What did that note mean? Was it an aggressive assertion of desire, spoken in a low voice, later to be followed by a passionate embrace?

Or was it merely a statement of fact, scribbled hastily before he left to tend to his other (more important) business in Boston?

We're dying to find out!

The Association of the Indecisive

A SELF ABSORBED LETTER TO A VERY GOOD FRIEND WHO DOES NOT DESERVE SUCH AN INCONSIDERATE PEN-PAL

Keltie,

I'm having a weird night.

John and I were lying in bed, trying to fall asleep. The light was off, but I could see his outline on the other side of the room, and he was tossing and turning as much as I was. After a while, he turned to face me. "Rogue."

"Mmm?" I mumbled, hoping he'd get the idea and leave me alone.

"You have absolutely no control of your power, right?"

"Uh, right." I rolled my eyes. He didn't say anything else, and finally I gave in. "Why?"

"Have you ever thought that maybe you can't control your powers...because you don't practice them enough?"

"Yes."

"Why don't you?"

"Practice? Oh, yeah, John, the Professor's going to let me suck out the life force of his students, just so I can have sex."

"Who said anything about sex?"

Thank God it was too dark for him to see me blushing. "You know what I mean. He wouldn't allow it."

"Why now?"

"Why not?" I sat up. "Because it's unethical."

"Maybe." He said. "Or maybe he doesn't want you to control it."

"You're crazy. What are you talking about?"

"Maybe he's stopping you. Ever wonder why Kitty can turn hers on and off, and you can't? Or why Colossus doesn't always look like The Terminator, sans Arnold Schwarzenegger?"

"Of course I've wondered! But some mutants maintain their default state all the time, like Mystique and me, and some, like Kitty and Peter and you, I guess, don't."

"That's bullshit," he said. "All mutants have their powers as default. That why the Professor teaches us to control them. That's why, despite my insistence that she does it on purpose, Kitty occasionally falls into the boys dormitory when she's having nightmares. You should be able to control your power, Rogue, at least to some extent. So either you don't, or something-someone-is stopping you."

"The Professor wouldn't do that."

"Really? Like he doesn't control Jean's power? Sorry, didn't."

"What are you even talking about? He didn't control Jean's power."

He didn't say anything. "John? You're just talking out of your ass again, aren't you?" My voice stayed steady, but I realized all of a sudden I wasn't so sure. I remembered Jean's frustration with her training, on days when she could barely levitate anything heavier than a book. And yet somehow, she was still able to hold back that dam at Alkali Lake. Of course, doubt didn't stop me from saying: "You don't know everything, John. Just because you left us to become an evil minion doesn't mean you know more than I do, and it doesn't mean everyone is as corrupt as you and your friends."

"You know, I'm getting really tired of this "evil minion" business. Not everyone's moral compass is as straight as yours, Marie, and you make it sound like Magneto is a pesky villain from a comic book. I've seen things that would make you sick to your stomach."

"You ARE the things that make me sick to my stomach," I snarled, and turned to face the wall.

The sheets rustled and a moment later I felt my mattress shift under his weight. I turned to tell him to get the hell off of my bed when he did it again.

"I'm sorry," he said, his eyes boring into mine. I could see them shining in the light from the window. I held his stare for what felt like an eternity. "...for calling you Marie."

"Ugh!" I sat up and smacked him on the side of the head. But I couldn't help but smile. There was a point, sad to say, when I would have been most upset about that.

"But I was serious. You should practice."

I stopped smiling. "John, I'm not going to just use my powers against innocent people."

"Who says they have to be innocent?"

I didn't have the energy to come up with a clever response. "What are you saying?"

"Practice on me."

"What?"

"I said, you can practice on me."

I opened my mouth to say that he was being ridiculous, when he leaned over and kissed me. I was so taken aback it took me a few seconds to even process what was happening, let alone stop it. I thought about the fact that I've only ever been kissed twice-once leaving the guy in a coma and the other two times with Bobby. I realized that it was really quite nice, kissing someone, even if that someone was John. I wondered if he realized I didn't really know what I was doing.

And then I realized what I was doing, and I pulled back abruptly, gasping. Before I could say anything, he'd bounced back over to his bed as though he was anticipating an attack. He perched there, smirking at me.

"What was that?" I attempted to keep my voice calm, not wanting to give away the fact that I was thoroughly shaken.

"Practice."

"I don't even have my powers," I said, as if THAT was the point. He just shrugged. "Are you okay?" I asked.

"Just dandy." He was mocking me now, but it was suddenly really important for me to find out if he was actually okay.

"No, I mean, do you feel anything-?" I I stopped myself, not wanting to give him any ammunition. 'How's your life force?' didn't seem to make much sense, either. I stared at his face, his skin, to see if there was any difference. Nothing. On the contrary, he looked healthier than he had a few minutes ago. I decided to give up. "Okay," I said.

"Okay?" he repeated.

I switched on the bedside lamp and turned back to the book I'd been reading. He stared at me. "Okay?" he said again. I glanced up at him. "Okay? You mean you don't want to have an hour-long discussion about this? You don't want to hit me?"

I shook my head. "Not really."

The look on his face was hilarious. "It was nice," I said kindly, giving him a small smile.

He took the bait. "Nice?"

"Mm-hmm." I turned a page. "You should get some sleep. You look a bit tired out."

He gaped at me for a bit, and then, with some delay, climbed under his sheets and lay there, staring at the ceiling (I think) trying to figure out what just happened.

That's right. The student had become the master. The player got played. The...okay, I'll stop.

It was all I could do not to burst into laughter.

I waited till I was sure he was asleep, and then I borrowed some paper and a pen from the nurses station and right now I'm sitting in the waiting room writing this letter to you. Because how could I not?

I'm really quite pleased with myself. I've always been John's favourite victim because I'm so gullible and easily flustered. I'm proud of myself for keeping my cool this time, and not falling for his mind games. I just know he was expecting me to freak out, to hit him and ask a million questions and then refuse to speak to him. Clearly, that was my first reaction. But I caught on to his little game, and the look on his face was so worth it.

And besides...it was quite nice. Not that I have much to compare it to. Which is NOT to say I have feelings for John AT ALL. Just, you know. It wasn't awful.

I keep going back to what he said, though. About the Professor. Is there another reason I couldn't control my powers? It certainly can't be because I don't want it badly enough. But what possible motivation could the Professor have for keeping my powers out of my control?

It's ridiculous, of course. Not only would he never do that, there was simply no reason to. I would be much more valuable to the X-Men if I had the ability to turn my powers on and off.

I'm slightly ashamed with myself for even thinking it.

Anyway, I should probably be off to bed, but I wanted to say that I miss you loads and I really hope things are getting better at school. I think you should just try and go on as normally as possible. It sucks because you don't have your best friends anymore, or at least, not in the same way you used to, but maybe you can look at it as a fresh start, and a chance to meet some new people?

What do I know though? I'm practically delirious with boredom. The idea of going back to school feels like a dream existence right now.

Love and random adventures with strangers,

Rogue

Rogue,

We await further developments.

Fondly,

The Young Romance Association

Rogue,

Could that have been a WORSE idea? Admittedly, John was no longer one of your close friends, but couldn't this screw up an awful lot? Your friendship with Bobby? Your friendship with Logan? Your self-respect?

We implore you to consider the consequences!

Sincerely,

The Best Friends Club

Rogue,

You're behaving surprisingly cooly in light of this recent development. Kissing boys in the dark is EXACTLY the type of behaviour we like to see from the post-pubescent, pre-convalescent, popping-anti-depressants, adolescents like yourself!

Consider us pleased with your progress!

The Association of Teenagers.