Dear Ms. D'Ancanto

Not to make you feel bad or anything (several threatening lawsuits have taught us that apparently, teenagers have quite low self-esteem) but we feel obligated to inform you that you're a disappointment to your entire generation.

While your unhealthy obsession with Taylor Lautner and Orlando Bloom indicates some sign of teenage life blossoming in that skunk striped head of yours, the lame inside jokes with your friends have got to stop.

I mean, awesome possum? Dancing Pants? Do you think Bobby will want to date you after hearing that nonsensical crap? Think Logan will ever see you as more than a kid once he's seen a demonstration of the pants dance?

Real teenagers don't have to work so hard to get people to like them, Rogue. Real teenagers throw witty, ironic phrases over their shoulders like they are lightweight cardigans from Abercrombie and Fitch. Real teenagers do not interrupt their own jokes by snorting chocolate milk all over the breakfast table.

Our advice is for you to hide in the school greenhouse for the remainder of your teenage years.

Sincerely,

The Association of Teenagers

IMPORTANT! ROGUE! LOOK AT THIS NOTE! TAPED TO YOUR PILLOWCASE! RIGHT HERE!

Rogue,

I hope you saw this.

Good Morning.

Kit and I decided to let you sleep. When you get up, take a shower and use some of my conditioner. You will recognize it-it is the only bottle in the bathroom that has the words "USE THIS AND DIE!" and a little blue skull on it.

Don't let your hair get like that again! Wear a swim cap! I know they look stupid but so will you when all your hair falls out from the chlorine and you look like Professor X. Except without the pimp suits. And awesome wheels.

Kitty says you can wear one of her hats. Wear the Orange one with the Orioles symbol on it. You will recognize it because it doesn't have a C on it. Unlike her other 12 hats.

Meet us later,

From your thoughtful and creative roommate,

(AKA Jubilation Lee AKA JUBILEE AKA etc...)

P.S. If you can find my silver bangle bracelets I will give you ten million Skittles. I'd find them myself, but I want to play Crash Bandicoot with your boyfriend.

!JUBILEE! LOOK AT THIS NOTE! SITTING ON YOUR BACKPACK!

Your bracelets are underneath Kitty's Mardi Gras beads. You'd know that if you ever cleaned up your side of the room.

I hate Skittles. You'd know that as well if you weren't such a neglectful friend.

Thanks for letting me use your conditioner. It's still sorta green, but at least it's stopped falling out.

And thank you for the lovely description of what I will look like soon.

Unfortunately, I can't meet you guys later, because I've got another meeting with the Prof and Hank. While you're hanging out without me, however, why don't you think of some of the benefits of not having any hair at all, hmm? I'll start you off: No need to invest our allowance on hair pins.

And I'm not wearing Kitty's hat because I don't believe she said I could wear it.

-Rogue

ROGUE! LOOK AT THIS NOTE! SITTING NEXT TO YOUR BOWL OF CEREAL!

Thank you thank you thank you!

-Jubes

PS: That may be true, but perhaps being neglected is good for you? It forces you to do homework and other such productive activities, while I entertain your boyfriend.

P.P.S. I can't beat him on level 4...can you help me?

LETTER TO A COMPLETE AND UTTER STRANGER

A Very Important Thing You Should Know is that you should always wear a bathing cap when you go swimming.

Trust me.

It's important

The second thing you should know is it's okay if you don't want to read this. Really. I wont mind. In fact, I'm amazed that our teacher gave us this assignment in the first place. I think that the Joy of the Envelope is really not so joyful at all, especially when we have things like email and text messages and Facebook to get us by. If you want to throw this out or flush it down a toilet, etc. THAT'S OKAY.

Assuming you are still reading, Ms Munroe (that's our teacher, and she's usually pretty cool when she's not encouraging us to rekindle the Joy of the Envelope) gave us a list of things to tell you. So I'm going to tell them to you and you can ignore them, or flush them, or what have you.

My Name: Marie, but please, call me Rouge. Everyone else does.

My Hobbies: Swimming (hence the bathing cap comment-my hair is currently a lovely shade of light green), video games, and snow sports. (Well, mostly just swimming and snow sports. Video games are more of an interest out of necessity)

My friends: Kitty and Jubilee. They're both completely bonkers so I won't say anymore about them now. And then there's Logan, but he's practically a Complete and Utter Stranger occasionally.

My Holiday: Was spent eating, sleeping, playing video games, and driving down to the city to see the parade. And turning my hair the aforementioned shade of green.

There are more things on this list, but this letter is probably rotting away, unread, in a corner, and all my words are wasted.

Sincerely,

Marie (Rogue) D'Ancanto

P.S: Do you like Skittles? Because one thing I forgot to add was how much I hate Skittles. I mean really, really hate them. Like, if you were trapped in a car in the middle of the dessert, kay, and the only thing you could eat was a pack of Skittles, kay, and you even for a second would consider eating those Skittles? Then don't bother writing back to me, because I wont reply.

Ms. D'Ancanto

We were extremely impressed with the quality of your work over Thanksgiving. In fact, we were so impressed that we were wondering if we could offer you a membership to our society.

We have observed that the day before your holiday, you were assigned ten math problems, four physics graphs, 6 essay questions, and an online activity. We also noticed that the day before your holiday, you and your friends declared a national "Skip day" and went to the movies instead.

Is it also true that you have an English test in 15 minutes? Is that why you're getting Fruit Loops all over Kitty's copy of Macbeth? Please confirm this for us.

That's wonderful Rogue. We love you already.

The Society of People Who are Going to Fail High School (and most likely life, too.)

Dear Rogue,

Do you really think you're going to get the answer for number 5? Or number 7? Do you really think you're going remember a quote from a play that you HAVE NOT EVEN read? We didn't think so. Look at Jubilee, sitting across the room, tapping her pencil furiously against the desk, with that little crease between her eyes. You know she's on number 4, don't you? You also know that it is the only answer you got right (probably). Of course, you know the only logical thing to do would be to walk to the front of the room, hand your test in, and while walking past her, whisper "It's B".

Don't you?

Sincerely,

The Best Friends Club.

To: Recipient

From: Address unknown.

Subject: Great Holiday Bargains!

Christmas is coming, and we have just the thing for you! Everyone wants to spoil their friends and family at Christmas, and now you can! At Bob's, you can get everything you need, from decorations to presents, all at minimal cost! Visit Bob's! You won't be disappointed!

Attachments: Coupons for Bob's Dollar $tore

ROGUE! OVER HERE! ON THE MAGNA-BOARD! IT'S A NOTE FOR YOU!

Thanks for helping me on my test today, I really appreciate it. I guess I should actually study next time, so you won't have to help me cheat. To mark this new-found academic dedication I've decided that we should skip afternoon classes and go see a movie.

Whadda ya think?

Jubes :)

Hey Jubes,

No problem...I finished mine early.

I don't really think skipping afternoon classes would be such a great idea, considering the crap we got into last time for not setting a good example for the younger kids. How about after school we go to Starbucks and do our homework? At least it will benefit us somewhat.

Rogue

Rogue,

A real teenager would not hesitate when her friends asked her to skip school with them.

A real teenager would have casually accepted, or else implied that she had other, cooler plans.

But no, we see why you would suggest studying instead. Because your life couldn't get any more exciting, right, Rogue?

The Association of Teenagers

LETTER FROM A COMPLETE AND UTTER STRANGER

Rogue,

It's kind of weird that you and your friends all have unconventional names. But I kind of like it. My name is Katelyn, by the way, but I go by Keltie (unless my dad is mad at me. Then it's Katelyn Elizabeth Matthews-get-your-butt-down-here). Rogue is pretty bad-ass, I have to say. Is it part of your real name or something people call you because you are so bad-ass?

I also agree that this assignment is stupid, and that fondness of video games is indeed a necessity for girls these days. However, I think if I were stuck in the middle of the dessert I would probably eat the Skittles, because it would make me happy to see such bright colors before I died of dehydrolization or whatever it is that you die of when you're in the desert.

1. See above for my name

2. My interests: Field hockey, dancing, singing, getting up in front of large crowds of people (Yeah. Right.)(But yes for the other ones)

3. My best friends are: My best friend Leah who I've known since I was in Kindergarten She always offered to share her play-doh with me. My other best friend is Ben. I met him in fifth grade when I forgot my lunch and he bought me a sandwich. I've been in love wish him since the day after he bought me the sandwich (There! You already know more about me than either Leah or Ben. Clearly we are on our way to being fast friends. Perhaps we should stop, lest our teachers think their sneaky plan has worked!).

4. My holiday: Had a four day contest with Leah and Ben to see which one of us could stay awake for the longest amount of time. Ben won, and is not at school today because he's still making up for the sleep he lost (67 hours, 28 minutes). I don't know why we thought this was a good idea. It stopped being fun after about 3 hours.

Another thing you should know about me is that I am extremely lazy, which can be demonstrated by the fact that I am writing this letter instead of...doing the thing that I am supposed to be doing (I have no idea. I'm in History, so it probably has something to do with the past). If I happen to stop a letter in the middle of nowhere and still send it to you, now you will know why.

I had no idea your school even existed before we were assigned this project. I have to say, I'm not sure how I feel writing to someone like you. But you seem nice enough, so I guess it can't hurt. And at least I'll have something new to amuse me during this pitiful excuse for a class. No offense.

Katelyn Matthews

KITTY ! LOOK AT THIS NOTE! TAPED TO YOUR HEADBOARD!

Did you get a letter back from your pen-pal yet?

Rogue

ROGUE! LOOK AT THIS NOTE! SAFETY PINNED TO YOUR PANTS!

I got a letter back from my pen pal. Why?

Jubilee

JUBILEE! OR KITTY! WHOEVER FINDS THIS FIRST!

I don't know...mine seems strange. Her letter seemed nice enough, so I figured she didn't care about the whole "writing to kids at mutant high" thing. But she ended it on a really weird note. Did Ms. Munroe say how we were supposed to deal with that?

Rogue.

ROGUE!

I say give her a piece of your mind. I'll help.

Jubes.

A LETTER TO A STRANGER (WHO SHOULD REMAIN THAT WAY)

Katelyn,

You are a rude, stuck up snob, and I hope you don't write to me again.

From,

Rogue( with help from Jubilee)

ROGUE! I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU! IT IS INCREDIBLY URGENT!

Please, please, please tell me you haven't sent that letter to the girl from Westchester High! Please?

Jubilee

A LETTER TO SOMEONE WHO PROBABLY TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY HATES ME

Keltie,

This is so awkward! Could you please pretend my last letter does not exist? I'm so sorry about that, it was a BIG misunderstanding!

Rogue

Rogue,

I heard you and Jubilee got into trouble about a letter you wrote to your pen pal at Westchester High. What was that all about? I'm not going to tell you what's been going around the school, but please, meet me later in the kitchen and tell me what happened.

Love,

Bobby

Bobby,

I can't meet you later but I can tell you what happened. I got a letter from my pen-pal, Keltie. She seemed like a sweet girl, but at the end of her letter, she said something about our school that I took the wrong way. Of course, I made the mistake of showing it to Jubes. You know how these things make her crazy. Remember that time we went to the mall with her, and Kitty fell through the clothes rack and that guy started going on about mutants and stuff? And Jubes went completely off on him? Don't even get me started about the time with those kids...and their snowman...

Anyway, the principal of Keltie's school found out about the letter we wrote, and she called up Ororo. When she and the Professor called Jubilee to the office (somehow they got the impression that she was the one behind everything, even though it was totally my fault) they told her that Keltie, as well as the rest of the students at Katya Vericaitis, were completely unaware of our school's real purpose. Ororo said that we would have known this if we hadn't skipped school last Wednesday.

So now we have detention, I have a pen-pal that probably hates me, and we single-handedly may have ruined any chance of kids from our school and kids from their school being friends without genetical barriers.

I'm writing this in detention. I'm going to try to get out for 5 minutes to give it to you, but if you found this on your pillowcase later tonight, I'm sorry. Really.

Rogue

Rogue,

Okay, your letter weirded me out, but I thought maybe it was just a private school thing. Like maybe you had a problem with the way I wrote the letter in purple pen, or something? Whatever. I left the letter on my desk and Ben found it and he was so pissed he went right to our teacher and told him that this was why the Joy of the Envelope was a dumb idea (okay, he didn't say "dumb idea" but since I'm not yet convinced that your not a prissy private school girl I'm not gonna repeat what he actually said). He said he had to "defend my honour".

Anyways, I guess my teacher called your teacher and that's when they explained the whole "school for mutants thing". I kind of wish you had just told me you were a mutant in your letter-it would have saved us a lot of confusion. And it's sort of a lot more interesting than "What I did over Thanksgiving" type questions.

I would say it was kind of stupid of you to skip class but I'm currently writing this on the picnic tables outside of the KFC near our school, freezing my hands off, while Ben and Leah practice doing cartwheels for our school play. So I can't really judge. (And I really can't explain about the cartwheels either, so don't ask).

You should know that I don't have anything against mutants. My Dad is a scientist and a bunch of my aunts are doctors and I know that mutation is just "the next step in the evolutionary process" or whatever. I mean, the stuff on the news about terrorist mutants is totes NOT COOL, so hopefully you're not one of those, but mutants in general are OK by me. Just so you know.

By people like you, I meant prissy private school girls. This area is full of rich, influential types and I, for one, am more than a little tired of having to deal with the girls (daughters of those rich, influential types, I guess) who walk past our school every afternoon in their kilts and knee socks and look down their noses at us like we all live in dumpsters and have head lice. I knew your school was a boarding school and I made the assumption that you must be rich to go there. So I guess we both should remember that phrase about assuming things.

Except I don't remember what it is and my hands are freezing and Ben and Leah have given up on the cartwheels so we're going to get some hot chocolate.

And I've written an essay.

Write back if you want.

Keltie

A LETTER TO SOMEONE WHO IS ALMOST A COMPLETE AND UTTER STRANGER

Keltie,

I'm going to say I'm sorry once again. Really. It was dumb of me to jump to conclusions like that. Trust me I am really nothing like a prissy private school girl. I know exactly the type of girl you are talking about. I used to go to school with girls like that, girls who always have perfectly straight hair even in 100% humidity and lip gloss that never smudges and who say "Bless her heart" right after they've said something completely nasty about another girl. Trust me, I'm not that kind of girl. If I was, my hair would not look like a plant decided to sprout from my forehead.

And of course I still want to write to you! I want to hear more about Leah, and Ben (if you want to tell me), and how close you were to fainting when he said that thing about "defending your honour". I also want to ask you some questions:

(Okay, Ms. Munroe said we had to, but I really am interested!)

Do you have any brothers and sisters?

Where were you born?

What do you look like?

What are you doing this weekend?

What are you doing for Christmas?

What are your classes like?

What is your boyfriend/girlfriends name?

Wait. Okay, I just looked at the questions Apparently I was supposed to incorporate them into the letter, not just copy them off the blackboard. It's supposed to improve our writing skills. Oh well. You can answer them or not, it's all up to you.

Rogue

Rogue,

No one can hide the fact that they are a complete failure at life for too long.

Keltie will figure it out eventually. We're actually quite shocked she hasn't yet.

Sincerely,

THE COLD HARD TRUTH ASSOCIATION

Dear Rogue,

Your hair really looks terrible today. Do you think those white (green?) streaks are a fashion statement, Rogue? Do you think walking around with almost-greasy hair is the cool thing to do now? We've got news for you: It's not.

I cant believe you let people see you like that.

Maybe you should visit us sometime?

The Director

International Department of Hairpieces, Toupees, and Wigs

A LETTER FROM A STRANGER

Rogue,

I'm glad we're going to keep writing to each other. Now, to answer your only important question:

Subject: Ben

Re: Honour Statement

Answer: I loved him more than ever.

Maybe I should tell him about how I feel. I mean, I've had plenty of boyfriends before, so this should be easy, but...it's Ben. I know that doesn't mean anything to you, because you haven't known him for forever like I have, but I don't want to mess up our friendship. And what would I tell Leah? It could be very awkward.

I'm glad you're not a prissy private school girl. I'd like to know how anyone gets their hair straight ever, even on a non-humid day. My hair is kind of wavy and brown, and the only time I ever got it completely straight was with an iron. Like on an ironing board. When my Mom caught me leaning over the ironing board with Lean holding onto the iron, she threatened to cut all my hair off and give me a boy cut. This was before she left, obviously, so I could probably do it now and be reasonably sure that my Dad wouldn't notice, but it's probably not a good idea anyway.

Sorry for this rather confusing letter, that is not very long.

Keltie.

P.S: My sister, Emma, says hi. I told her that I was writing to you. She's in the eighth grade, and doesn't get to do this fabulously educational project. Poor her (not). I guess that answers one of your questions. You don't have to hand the answers in do you? If so, tell your teacher that it's not your fault you got stuck with a highly unmotivated and lovesick pen-pal (although really, what does she expect? She's dealing with a bunch of teenagers).

Oh yeah, Rogue, you're really the best person to give Keltie boy advice. Ever been past first base, Rogue? Ever had sex? Ever even had a mature relationship with a boy that was not based around playing video games and extremely unresolved sexual tension?

We remind you of our earlier suggestion that you lock yourself in the greenhouse. With your hair looking like that, you'll fit right in.

The Association of Teenagers

Keltie,

I think if Ben really is the kind of guy you say he is, then it shouldn't ruin your friendship. Maybe you should talk to Leah about this? She'd probably know better than me. I still want you to tell me what's going on, though!

I'm writing this to you on an airplane. I don't really like planes very much. I've had a couple of bad experiences with them, which are too complicated to explain. Let's just say if you ever get your pilot's license that you don't want me in the cockpit.

Kitty and Jubilee are beside me. It's just started to snow, Jubilee is playing Christmas music on her iPod, and they're both going rather insane. Do you know how beautiful New York looks covered in snow? There are Christmas lights up everywhere, because it is the 1st of December and therefore The First Official Day of Christmas.

Like there haven't been Christmas commercials since about October.

Anyway, I'm sure you're wondering why I'm on a plane, and not in class on this snowy winter's morning? Well, you obviously know I go to a school for mutants, and unless you never watch the news or read tabloids in line at the supermarket, (basically if you haven't been living under a rock for the past ten years) then you know that most of the world has this thing...where they don't exactly like us. Sometimes there are kids that need our help, and the Professor usually gets Kitty and I to go with Scott (a teacher of ours) to convince them that our school can help. Jubilee usually whines until she's allowed to come as well. So that's why I'm on a plane, and typing this on a laptop, instead of writing it.

Also, I'm sorry for the kind of dumbed down explanation. It's sort of a "I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you" kind of thing. Actually, it sort of a "I don't really know much more than that because no one tells me anything" kind of thing.

Ahh! Turbulence again. I really am a terrible flier. I don't understand why the Prof always asks me to go. Maybe Jubilee and Kitty are too crazy on their own.

Okay, Kitty just told me to put the laptop away because apparently the turbulence is going to get even worse. I guess this is the price to pay for such beautiful snow.

I'M BACK.

The turbulence didn't stop until we landed, so I'm writing this on the way back home, the next day. The Professor didn't want us flying in the current weather, barely one step down from a blizzard (as you probably know, if you ever watch the news). So we stayed in this really nice hotel, and since we were in downtown Chicago, Kitty took us out. Chicago is practically where she grew up, so she was totally in her element.

I didn't say anything about the students we picked up, did I? They were siblings, a boy and a girl, which surprised me because their powers manifested at the same time. Scott (one of my teachers) said that this is rare, but not impossible. Apparently they had been living on the streets since then, when their parents kicked them out. Both of them looked exhausted, scruffy and worn out. They didn't even protest when we showed up, just kind of listlessly accepted that we were there to help them. I could tell they hadn't been on the street for long. After about three weeks you learn not to trust anybody.

Anyway, when we got back to the hotel, Jubilee and I helped the girl, Becky get cleaned up and into bed, while Kitty and Scott took Sean, her older brother, to the hospital (he had a broken wrist). Becky was the sweetest thing I've ever met. She wouldn't let Jubes and I get her anything, telling us that she didn't want to be any trouble. After a while, she gave up and let us fuss over her. When I first saw her, I thought she might be 9 or 10, but it turns out she's almost 13. Right now she's sitting across the aisle, reading one of Kitty's magazines. She just waved at me.

I still can't figure Sean out. After he and his sister had rested for a bit, we went downstairs to the hotel restaurant and ate about a billion dollars worth of food. Before he was cleaned up, he seemed very introverted. But once he got into some of the clothes Scott let him borrow (Scott, for some reason, spends more money on clothes than Jubilee does), we started to see a different side of him. He's definitely a smart ass. He reminds me of my ex-friend John, who left school a few months ago. Except where John was sarcastic in an insecure, I-don't-care-what-you-think-of-me sort of way, Sean is sarcastic in a self-assured, I-know-everyone-loves-me kind of way.

He's also the complete opposite of his sister, although he obviously took very good care of her in the last couple of weeks. She has dark wavy hair while he's blond. She kept up the chatter at dinner by asking questions about what her classes would be like and if the teachers were nice and things like that. The only time he spoke was to make a snarky comment about my hair, or Scott's glasses.

I can just barely see Sean from where I'm sitting, but when I turn around it always seems like he's staring at me with this smirk on his face. It's very unnerving, actually.

I can't believe I wrote so much! It's getting turbulent again, so I'd better go. I'm sorry I wrote so much. If I bored you, tell me and I won't write so much next time, okay?

Rogue.

P.S.: Tell Emma I said hi, okay? What's she like? Please tell me, and write an unnecessarily long letter so I don't feel so bad

Rogue,

Just calm down. The jet is not going to crash. Scott would never even take off if he thought there was even a sliver of a chance that the plane could crash, which is impossible anyway, because the Blackbird is more advanced than any aircraft around, and aren't there some out there that fly into hurricanes and things anyway? So you have nothing to worry about. Relax, and enjoy the rest of the flight.

Sincerely,

The Take a Deep Breath and Calm Down Society

Rogue,

HA! Sure, calm down. That would be a good advice if you were, oh, I don't know, on a picnic in the park, or a leisurely cruise.

This, my dear, is not a good time to calm down. With your luck, the plane will crash into the middle of a lake, or something, and everyone will die of hypothermia before you can swim to shore.

Sure there are planes that fly through hurricanes. If you recall, this one flew through some measly tornadoes, and you fell out.

Good. And just to let you know, Kitty is thinking that she'd like to have your sparkly blue gloves when you die. If she tells you any different, she's lying.

Cheers,

THE COLD HARD TRUTH ASSOCIATION

Rogue! Look at this note! On your Bed! For when you come home!

I'm glad you're back, and that you made it home safely. I missed you in math. I missed you the whole time you were gone, actually . Maybe next time the professor will let me go with you guys, or get someone else to go instead of you?

Anyway, I missed you. Do you want to go see a movie tomorrow?

Love,

Bobby

P.S.: We have to read p. 345-389 in English.

To: Rogue D'Ancanto
Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters
Salem Center, NY

Hi.

It's me, John.

I know you're furious at me, which is why I waited so long to mail this letter. If you don't want to read it, that's fine with me. Just rip it up or flush it down the toilet or have Jubilee blow it up or something.

On second thought, maybe you shouldn't show this to Jubilee at all. Or anyone. Especially Bobby.

He must be really pissed at me, huh? I guess I screwed up pretty bad this time.

Don't worry about me though. I'm okay, just maybe re-evaluating some of my choices.

I know that you're think I should come back. Or maybe you couldn't care less. I can't, and be both know it. It's not just the obvious reasons.

You don't know what it's like, Rogue. Having these powers and only being taught how to not use them. Don't you think that if we were given this "gift" we should learn how to expand them, instead of suppress them?

I don't know...maybe you don't feel the same way. I'm not going to try to convince you otherwise.

It's not just that. Everyone at school fit in, except me. You've got Bobby, the boy-next-door, all around good guy. Kitty, the adorable genius and everyone's little sister. Jubilee, the colorful freak-girl with a messed up sense of cause and effect and a very high tolerance for sugar...Should I continue? Andrew, whacked sense of humor and half the girls in the school lusting after him. Peter, sensitive artist, same deal. And then you: mysterious and enchanting, beautiful and clever and funny, the true girl-next-door (with the mandatory boy-next-door boyfriend). Don't give me that crap about you not being all those things, because you know you are. I mean, yeah, you have the poison skin and the awkward shyness and the tendency to get way too inside your head all the time, but that doesn't negate everything above.

What was I, exactly? Rebel without a cause, James Dean type? Sometimes I thought so. Mostly I knew I was just your run-of-the-mill disaffected youth, and I wanted more than that.

Do you know what things were going through my head before I left with Magneto? One of them was you. You are honestly one of the strangest people I'd ever met Rogue, because even though you were into all that use-your-powers-for-good-not-evil crap, I could see how badly you wanted to use your powers. I know you wanted to do learn how to do more then keep your skin covered. All those times I pissed you off before? I know all you wanted to do was yank off your glove and slap me in the face.

One day you should do that. The next time you're walking down the street and some wise-ass makes some remark about your hair? Slap him. Pretend it was me.

Anyway, I just wanted to get that out. See you around,

John