I lay in the dark an’ listen.
I can hear her. Smell her. Just the other side o’ this wall. I can hear every muffled sob, every tear that falls from her beautiful green eyes. The sound o’ her sobs are unbearable, all I want to do is hold her, but I can’t. Hell, I don’t even think she’d want me to. The closest friend I had since…well since I can remember. But she was always more than just a friend to me. I could happily spend every day of the rest o’ my life with her, only her, an’ never get bored.
I glance over to Sarah. She’s sleepin‘, unaware o’ the thoughts goin’ through my mind, o’ the noise comin’ from the next room. Lucky for her she doesn’t have hearin’ like mine. I can’t even think o’ goin’ to sleep when I know my girl, My Girl is in the next room cryin’ her eyes out. It should be her in my bed.
As for the woman next to me, I don’t even know how she ended up movin’ in. I met her in a near by bar. She was makin’ eyes at me all night, glancin’ over, battin’ her eyelashes, y‘know, all the usual stuff women do when they wanna make it obvious they wanna fuck ya. So I took her home with no intention o’ anything other than meaningless sex, like I‘d done with so many women before, to temporarily satisfy the needs o’ the animal in me. She stayed one night, just one night, but then she kept on turnin’ up. First back at the bar a few days later, then eventually here on my doorstep. I didn’t mind at first, I mean what red blooded man would turn down the opportunity if the woman was practically offerin’ herself on a plate? Then one day she just…stayed. An’ I guess in the end I’d given up waitin’ for Marie. There was more chance of Scooter finally growin’ a pair than her gettin’ with me, an’ that was highly unlikely to say the least.
She’d never want me. Too old, too unreliable, too dangerous, too rough to even think o’ comparin’ me to the clean-cut-Mr.Perfect kinda guys she liked. She was happy with Iceprick, until he broke her heart. Just thinkin’ about that fuckin’ idiot makes me wanna punch somethin‘. When I get my hands on him he’s gonna wish he weren’t born. A small growl rumbles from my chest as I think o’ all the ways I can brake every bone in his body, make him suffer for the pain he‘s put her though.
After a while, the sound of her tears stop. I think she’s asleep now.
I wait some time, wonderin’ if she’s alright. Maybe I should go check on her. I pull the covers off my body an’ get to my feet. I have to make sure she’s okay, just a quick glance in won’t hurt.
I move silently out o’ my room an’ to the door across the hall to the small room where she is. I carefully turn the door handle an’ push the door open a little. The room smells of her sadness, its worse than anythin’ I’ve ever smelt before. Worse than the most polluted sewer or a thousand rottin’ corpses combined.
I look over at her sleeping form. I can’t see her face from where I‘m standin‘, the blanket pulled tightly around her small body in that big ol’ bed. I move closer, careful not to stand on any o’ the floorboards I know will creek as soon as I step on them. I don’t wanna wake her. I just need to know she’s alright, then go back to my room.
I stand there for a while watchin’ her. Her chest gently risin’ an’ fallin’ she inhales an’ exhales. Her face is soft, but still looks sad somehow. Her hair sprawled across the pillow, white strands framin’ her face. The tears still wet on her cheeks glisten in the soft moonlight that pours in though the small window near the bed. All I can think o’ is how much want to lay next to her, hold her, feel her in my arms, protect her from everythin’ bad in the world. That’s all I want. Hell, she’s makin’ me sound like a sissy! Big bad Wolverine, yeah right. I feel more like some cute little harmless puppy right now, not that I‘ll ever admit that.
But I can’t help it. It’s weird. I ain’t ever felt this before, don’t think I ever did even in my lost past ‘cause I‘d sure as hell remember a feelin’ like this. Weird light-headed-nauseatin‘-butterflies-in-my-stomach-heart-beatin‘-way-faster-than-normal crap. I’m not sure, but I think I like this feelin’. Not that I’d ever admit to that either.
I don’t know what it is, or why, but there’s always been somethin’ about her, somethin’ strange and captivatin’ that I can’t quite put my finger on. It’s kinda like that riddle ’Why is a raven like a writing desk?’
“I haven’t the slightest idea…”
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Here's a song that inspired this chapter.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjwbczrLpCA
This one's kinda short, just a little of what Logan is thinking. Thank you to those who have commented and rated so far.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjwbczrLpCA
This one's kinda short, just a little of what Logan is thinking. Thank you to those who have commented and rated so far.
Chapter End Notes:
:)