((A few days later))
The cold November air harshly hits the back of my throat and fills my lungs as I take a deep calming breath. I‘m only a few feet away from the wooden door, I can see the light through the heavy living room curtains. I reach out. It’s still not too late to turn around, leave. But I guess there’s no point, he’ll be able to tell I was here even if he didn’t see me. I gently tap the door three times then lean gently on the wooden door frame. I push my gloved hands into the silk lined pocket of my thick black coat. I try my best to look confident, sure of myself. But I’m not. How will he react? He isn’t expecting me, he isn’t expecting anyone. He came here to get away from everything and here I am turning up unannounced. What if he thinks I’m stalking him?
Too late. I hear the sound of foot steps approaching on the wooden floor the other side of the door. One last deep breath to hold back the part of me that wants to turn and sprint off unseen into the night.
The door opens. Slowly, just a slight gap, enough for him to see out. His hair is a little damp and ruffled, a few of the dark strands hang carelessly in front of his deep brown eyes. Somehow he looks more muscular, but perhaps he‘s been working out more or maybe I‘ve just forgotten how big he is.
He doesn’t say anything, just looks at me puzzled, furrowing his brow in a questioning way.
I look up at him, holding his curious gaze, my lips curling into an unsure grin as my heart beats frantically and my stomach ties itself up into a million knots. I suddenly regret my decision. But then, something in his eyes tells me that he’s not mad. His eyebrows twist down, as his lips part slightly “Marie?”
My smile widens and I stand up straight “Hey stranger” I laugh lightly, but he just carries on staring at me and now I really think this was a bad idea turning up unannounced, uninvited.
Just as my smile begins to fade, a smile creeps onto his lips. He tries to say something, but a few short gasps and stutters fall out of his mouth as he attempts to find the words he’s looking for. He laughs and shakes his head at himself “What are you doing here?” he asks, opening the door wider, but although he’s smiling, I can hear the questioning tone in his voice.
“Well, I had the week off and it’s so boring back at the mansion, so I decided to come visit you.” I grin sheepishly as I shrug my shoulders. I hope he can’t tell that I’m hiding something from him, he always knows when I’m lying. Although, technically I’m not, I’m just not telling him the whole reason that I came here.
We stand there for a few seconds just looking at each other. He quickly brushes his hand through his hair “Where are my manners? Come in.” he smiles, pulling the door open and gesturing for me to enter. I grin sheepishly as I walk into the place I’d dreamed myself to on so many nights. A small mirror and an old painting decorate the wooden walls of the small hallway. A wooden sideboard sits on the left side directly under the mirror with an empty beer bottle and a few pieces of paper sitting on top. “Did you want me to take my boots off?” I blurt out clumsily into the silence.
“Um, if you want.” he says, raising an eyebrow as he closes the door behind me. He looks at me for a moment before quickly walking over to the far door on the left “I’ll just go put the kettle on” he tells me as he goes.
I bend down and begin to remove my boots as he flicks the light on in the kitchen. I can’t help but feel that I’ve possibly made a mistake by coming here, I didn’t expect it to be so…awkward. I don’t know what I expected really, I mean, sure I spoke to him on the phone a couple of times and he had said that I’d have to come here sometime but it wasn’t a direct invite. Hell, I’d only came here once before and that was years ago, it must seem weird to him how I remembered how to get here, I find it weird myself. I mean, it’s not exactly easy to find. It must seem a strange to say the least, but it was the only thing I could think of at the time. Now I wish I hadn’t come here at all, save myself the embarrassment of suddenly springing up out of the blue and expecting him to be okay with it, to be okay with what I‘ve done to myself. He was bound to ask questions, including why it was him I’d came to. Although I did have an answer for that and it gave me a reason to be here, one I’d been looking for for weeks, months, I don’t know if he’ll be alright with it, with me breaking the peace that he came here for. And as for the main reason I came here, well, it would be impossible to tell him now, things are so difference face to face.
I place my boots neatly by the door and make my way over to the kitchen.
“Sit down.” he gestures to the table in the middle of the room “Coffee okay?” he asks as he shuts the fridge door, a bottle of milk in his hand. I nod as I sit down on the chair closest to me. “One sugar, right?” he smiles smugly looking over his shoulder at me, knowing that he is correct. I smile and nod, I‘m surprised he remembers such a trivial thing.
I watch him silently as he pours milk into the two mugs in front of him. I watch as the muscles in his arms move gently beneath the sleeves of his navy blue shirt and just as my eyes begin to drift further down his body, he turns around. I quickly snap my eyes up to meet his.
“So,” I begin as he brings two mugs over to where I’m sitting “How’s your search going?” I ask quickly before he can begin asking me any questions.
He places the hot drinks down on the coasters and takes a seat opposite me. “Not too good” he sighs as he shakes his head. I know he won’t want to talk about it, so I don’t press him for more information.
I stare down into my cup coffee, all the things I’d thought I could say to him, talk to him about, had now completely disappeared leaving only one thing running through my mind.
“Are you alright?” he asks from the other side of the table looking concerned, the sound of his voice making me snap out of it.
“Yeah, I’m fine” I reply as I shake that thought to the back of my mind.
“So, how have you been?” he asks, raising his mug to his lips.
“Okay” I shrug, but before I can carry on, I can tell by the look on his face that he doesn’t believe me. “Everything’s fine” I say before he can get a word in edgeways, forcing a smile on my face.
But he looks at me sternly “No, really.” he says before taking a careful sip of his coffee.
I shift slightly and suddenly the delicate pattern on my coffee cup captures my interest. I can feel his gaze burning through me and know that I have to tell the truth. There’s no use in lying, it wouldn’t take a mutant to be able tell that the tone in my voice didn‘t match the words I was saying.
I sigh heavily, staring down at my wool gloves. “Where do I begin?” I sigh again, glancing up at him briefly before dropping my head back down. I purse my lips together and cup my chin with my left hand as I think of the events that had led me into this very moment. “Bobby and I…” I begin, my voice quieter than I’d meant it to be. I clear my throat and continue “I left him.”
His face softens somewhat but there’s something else there. I can’t tell what it is, it looks like a mixture of frustration and confusion.
“So you came here?” he says with a slight harshness to his voice and with that, I feel a lump begin to form in my throat as all the confidence I‘d managed to gather up abandons me.
“He was cheating on me with Kitty” I eventually manage to whisper. He looks at me sympathetically, but I can see the anger growing in his face. He told me that he didn’t trust Bobby and I guess he was right not to. “My best friend and my boyfriend, what a joke…” I say gently raising my eyebrows, trying to keep my voice steady as I hold back the tears that are now forming in my green eyes.
“That fucking asshole!” He growls, “Just you wait till I get my hands on him!”
“Logan no, there’s no point”
“No point? You really think I’m gonna let him get away with hurting you? And Kitty, I thought she was with Pete. What a little whore!”
“Logan please,” I say, reaching across the table to take hold of his clenched fists, but he stands up before I can reach them.
“It’s because of your mutation!” He begins to pace up and down, his boots thudding heavily on the wood floor “That filthy little pervert, just cause he wants to get laid he thinks it’s alright for him to go with some other girl?”
I bite my quivering lip and look from him down to the floor as I try to hold my tears back. He suddenly stops and looks over at me, I can feel his gaze on me as silent tears burn my cheeks. I know it’s the truth and it hurts. I’ve been trying for so long to gain control of my mutation but nothing worked and now I lost someone who I thought loved me for who I was, not what they could get.
“Marie, I’m sorry darlin‘ I didn’t mean to upset ya…” he says soothingly as he kneels down next to me placing his hands over mine.
I shake my head “But it’s true. Who‘d want a girlfriend they couldn‘t even kiss without risking their life?” I say as I wipe away the tears with my free hand, only for them to be replaced with fresh ones.
“Darlin’, who wouldn’t want a beautiful intelligent girl like you?”
I smile slightly at this comment. Not that I believe it, just the fact that it’s coming out of Logan’s mouth makes it sound…nice. Does he really think I’m beautiful? No, don’t be silly. He’s just saying it to be kind. Why would Logan, the Wolverine, want someone like me?
“Come here” he says. He stands up, pulling me to my feet with him and places his arms around me, holds me tight to his chest. He places a gentle kiss on the top of my head.
I burry my face into his shirt wanting to cry again. Not just because of my friends betrayal, or my mutation. I wanted him to hold me like this for so long, ever since I met him, even when I was with Bobby. I know, I know. It’s kinda hypocritical of me thinking of another man when I have a boyfriend, but there’s a difference between fantasy and reality.
“Just forget about that jerk for now, I’ll deal with him when we get back. And Marie,” He pulls back a little and looks down at me still cradled in his arms “don’t ever think that your mutation can stop you from doing anything, okay?”
I nod as look up at him nervously. No better time than now… “I know it can’t,” I begin as I pull the black glove off my right hand and reach up to place my hand gently on his cheek “I got the cure.”