Prologue
I had to get away for a while, a bike, some good weather, and quiet. I was feeling trapped. I live alone, not sandwiched between walls and a ceiling. And all those things took a second place to the truth. I want things that I shouldn't, that I have no right to even think about. There aren't any distractions anymore, nothing to divert the animal, to keep him laying low. The wolverine is selfish, taking what it wants, making it a need, part of survival, the drive to conquer and establish what should be his.
Wandering aimlessly, trying to link parts of what I know of my past to something tangible, one solitary object, that bring back all the memories, bring back everything I have lost of myself. I had spent fifteen years not being more than just a glance in someone else's memory, I couldn't tell you how many women or fights or nights leaning over a bar there had been,but I can tell you there was no meaning, no epic journey, and there damn sure weren't any answers. I existed, even if it was just for me for a while. I lived on my own terms, made my own way. There will be a day I think I will want to stop searching about my past, when I felt I have done enough in this remembered life time to make up for what I don't know. Underneath, there may be a part that doesn't want to pieces to fit together, the picture of the past maybe a thousand words of pain and anguish caused by my own two hands. But then, there she was. I could smell the fear of not knowing where to go next, hunger, running away without seeing an end, she was so young. No one should feel that way, and it was in her eyes, if you looked deep into to them.
I wasn't running from what was- the way lives end just as they get under your skin. No, there was more to it than that. There is reasoning behind hate and fear. There is reasoning behind obligation. I'm not sure where I fit within the world of the X-men. I fear losing my friends, yet I feel obligated to look out for them and I hate feeling as if with just one slip, one mistake on my part, I will lose them all.
I put myself into this mess. Nothing and no one is forcing me to stay connected to the do-gooders, saving the world from whatever it is that's ailing it, maybe even saving a few of them from themselves. I guess it gives everything I hated about myself a reason to exist. I looked out for her, trained her, taught her everything I knew to protect herself. I watched her from the shadows, believing she needed to live her life without interference from the animal inside me. The Wolverine is selfish; taking what it wants, making it a need, part of survival, the drive to conquer and claim what should be his. Keeping the promise to protect meant fighting that instinct. It meant denying what every urge inside wanted to covet. I would leave when I could no longer control it, needing time and distance to tame the wild, feral beast. So to keep that promise, I left. I needed a break. That's all. She looked as if she was controlling her life, like she was happy. I never knew why she stayed. She took the cure, graduated; she could have moved on. Maybe she wanted to help the school that gave her a home, return the favor.
I thought she liked her life, but I was wrong…..
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Story Notes:
Logan's POV of the original "More Than a Rogue" by September. The plot and some dialogue are directly extracted for the original story. Permission obtained by author. Beta read by Moviemom44, also concieved the title. THANK YOU BOTH!!!
Author's Chapter Notes:
I own nothing, it's all Marvel's, though I wish.....
My very first post...
My very first post...
Chapter End Notes:
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