CHAPTER ELEVEN: I PLAY CHICKEN WITH THE TRAIN

“You have a plan?” Yuki said then.

Cocking a questioning eye at Jubes over the pot of green tea. Barely looking up to acknowledge Logan as he stomped through Remy’s bar like a force of nature, a look on his face like a smacked ass. It was quite a sight.

“I have a plan,” Jubilee nodded. “A cunning plan. A very cunning plan. I just have to scare the living bejezus out of Remy LeBeau first and it’ll be coolio-”

Yuki grinned. “Then let’s get on with it.”

And with that the three woman stalked towards Remy’s rooms.

“This is madness,” Yuki said bluntly.

“This is brilliance,” Kitty said at exactly the same time.

“This is gonna get me killed,” Remy said, rubbing his sore, recently-woken head and glaring blearily at Jubilee.

“This is necessary,” Jubes snapped, glaring right back at him- And Remy had to admit, the petite looked kinda sexy when she did that. In fact, suddenly he found he no mind being woken up at all… “Besides,” the petite continued, “it wouldn’t be if you hadn’t gone and dragged poor Yuki into this. So quit with the bellyaching and make with the romancing before I paffinate you, ya dig?”

And with that she shoved Remy bluntly towards Marie’s door, from which the not-so-faint-sounds of a room being trashed could be heard. A shower of paffs trailing him to remind him how mighty unwise it would be to disagree with Jubes’ brilliant plan- Not that Remy really considered arguing with her. There was plenty else he suspected would be fun to argue with Jubilee about, but not this. No, Remy was happy to try and help fix the mess he’d made now that he’d realised Logan actually, y’know, cared about Rogue and shit. The Bro Code was real clear on this: It was okay to get into a pissing contest over a girl you just wanted to bang, but a girl an homme actually cared about? That was different. There were dibs rights involved there. Trying to steal her away made you all sorts of an asshole, and Gambit knew this-

Which was why he was prepared to go through with Jubes’ harebrained plan, despite the fact that it would obviously lead to him getting the shit kicked outta him. Because as mah sweet Momma always said, he reminded himself, you make the mess, you clean the mess, non?

The sounds of the room being trashed stopped then.

As Remy raised his hand to knock another sound took over- A keening, soft sobbing that would have melted Sabre-tooth’s heart, let alone a romantic soul like his. If he hadn’t felt like a bastard for upsetting her before this he really felt like a bastard now. Because fuck, he thought, she must really love that hairy midget. And thanks to me, she thinks she never gonna get anywhere with him. Of course, Remy knew this was a crock: Give Logan the slightest chance and he’d forgive her, he just needed to find someone else to blame their romantic troubles on. It was why he was standing outside her door like a moron, preparing to let himself become the villain of the little mutant soap-opera that was currently his life-

“Someone out there?” he heard Marie call softly then.

He took a moment to ready himself before he answered. “Yeah, chere,” he said softly. “You mind if Ah come in?” And he pushed his way into the room before she could answer, a worried look on his face. Marie was sitting on the bed, her eyes red, her expression embarrassed at having been caught crying. The remains of his room looked well and truly shot to Hell. “Ah’ll clean it up, Ah swear,” she muttered.

“Don’t worry about it, chere.” He sat down on the bed beside her. “Besides, ain’t Ah the one should be apologizing?” And he offered her his best smile, the one which had worked on hundreds of women before this.

Apparently it didn’t work on X-Men however: Rogue narrowed her eyes.

The temperature in the room dropped about ten degrees.

“Look,” he began, “Ah came in to say dat Ah’m sorry Ah dragged Yuki over here, it was a shitty thing to do.” She looked epically unimpressed. “And the thing with interrupting you and Logan getting down to it, dat wasn’t so nice a thing t’do neither.” He tried for his trademark, mischievous smile but Rogue was stony-faced. Tough crowd, he thought. “And Ah’m sorry you think Ah spent the day flirting with you only to make Logan jealous; Ah wanted to get somewhere with you, Ah swear it-”

“And where did you wanna get?”

“Heaven, of course!” His voice was mock-serious. “And by heaven Ah mean third base.” At her glare he shrugged. “What can Ah say? Ah was gonna take you there too, Armed-”

“Ah don’t doubt it, you cocky bastard,” she said dryly, and Remy had to grin. She was shaking her head, smiling, though it looked like it was against her better judgement. “Welcome to mah life,” she muttered. “The one where Ah actually get to be happy that you were trying to get inta mah pants and not just piss Logan off-”

He took her hand, made his gaze smoulder. “Chere,” he said gravely, “Ah’m sorry you ever doubted Ah was trying to get into your pants. Because Ah totally have been since the moment you got here, and in fact those pants look so fine Ah might have to try getting into them again right here-”

She gave an unladylike snort. “They’d cut you across the crotch.”

He waggled his eyebrows at her. “But what a way to go!”

And with that he started to tickle her, earning a shriek of surprised laughter, her dark mood finally breaking. She’d been pissed that he was trying to have his wicked way with her and that he wasn’t: Dictionary definition of a no win situation right there. And besides, it looked like she needed to laugh, like she needed someone to take all the seriousness offa her shoulders; That had been obvious to Remy from the moment he saw her with Logan.

Girl spent so much time trying to distract the feral from his darkness that she never thought to find someone to distract her from her own.

So he made sure to push her playfully around, batting her with one of the pillows. Not in a sexual way- However tempting that might be- but just enough to make her laugh and to ensure that she would reek of his scent by the time Logan returned. Which was the point of Jubes’ plan, after all. If she seemed far away sometimes he didn’t say it, and if she didn’t talk to him about what had happened he didn’t try to force her to. He figured he’d done enough, said enough. And that maybe she’d guessed what had happened between Logan was her wasn’t his fault really, an interpretation of events he really hoped she’d stick to when his Growliness asked. He stayed about half an hour longer, making jokes and small-talk, keeping her mind off Logan. Insuring she was tired enough to actually sleep when she finally said goodnight. Before she closed her door to him he made sure to smile at her and kiss her on the forehead; She shook her head and rolled her eyes again, knowing damn well he knew how she felt about Logan but apparently liking the attention all the same. “Goodnight Remy,” she said dryly.

“Goodnight, Armed,” he answered her-

And as soon as her door closed he felt someone yank him by the collar and drag him down backwards. A pair of claws suddenly digging in his throat. Logan was standing outside her door, waiting for him- stalking was the more accurate though unfortunate term- and man oh man he looked pissed at what he’d just seen. Like, just had to leave a demon princess in the middle of goat sex pissed.

And that was saying something, Gambit knew.

“Jubes called me,” the feral hissed then. His claws were actually twitching. “Whatcha think you’re doing Remy? Can’t you leave the poor girl alone?”

Gambit felt inside his sleeve for a card and started to charge it. Mentally preparing himself for an ass-kicking of epic proportions if it meant he’d get his friend and his honey back on track. “Ah’m Picking a fight with a blind asshole,” he said maliciously, grinning. “That’s what Ah’m doing. Because Ah think Marie likes her some good Southern manners and not a midget with anger control issues-”

Which was as far as he got before Logan decided to introduce him to the window behind him and see how well they got on together.

They better name one of their kids after me, Remy thought as he fell through it. Even if it’s a girl-

And then the game was on.